Sorry for the long wait! Please enjoy this chapter. I went over it a few times and tried to add more details where it would matter and take out the usless details. I still feel it's a bit mediocre but I just feel so heartbroken about this because of how Mei feel's (because author knows more about Mei~) and it's just oof... So many emotions. Anyways, please review about what you think about this chapter, I always love hearing from you guys! Favorite and follow if you haven't already. Now enjoy!

The next morning many of the Shinsengumi's men had gone to investigate the fire that occurred while they were celebrating the night before, thanks to Yamazaki catching wind of the news and reporting it directly to Hijikata and Kondou.

Mei decided to go a bit after they did their initial investigation, having to bring along Okita and Harada with her under Hijikata's orders. She had her own reasons for going and only Kondou knew, being that she trusted him enough with that information. She needed hard proof before telling the others. The woman carefully maneuvered around the debris as her eyes scanned the floor. To keep Imperial Nationalists from starting trouble due to her Chinese attire, she decided to wear another yukata the men had gotten her. To the people watching, that didn't already know her, she probably looked like a relative of Kondou's the Shinsengumi had taken to collect any salvageable belongings.

Fire had always been scary for her ever since that day when she was a child, seeing the charred remains of a home, regardless who's it was, had shaken her a bit, but she swallowed her fear for the time being.

As she gently moved away the wood all she could think about was how odd Kodo Yukimura was, and his knowledge of her family—that's what made her wary of the man. The more she thought about it, the more it seemed that Kodo could've had a hand in the slaughtering of her family. That thought only fueled her anger for her uncle and causing her not only to dislike Yukimura but hate him as well. The furies were much like the Guǐzi that attacked her family. They didn't seem to like the sunlight, white hair and all had crimson eyes... And more than that. She knew they were former humans, because they were many of the village people her family swore to protect.

Then she remembered, when Yukimura found out about her family's death he looked genuinely distraught. Either he was a really good actor or he had no part in the massacre that occurred all those years ago.

That's when she noticed it... A small silver pendent just beneath some wood, her eyes trained on that silver before she looked up, casually, to glance over at the two escorting her. They weren't looking but she couldn't chance it. Taking a small breath, she slowly crouched down and looked as if she was inspecting further, "… Lan, Jun... There is a pendent beneath the debris to my left, bring it to me later tonight..." She whispered before glancing around and standing back up once more.

Mei made her way back to the two men waiting for her before the three walked back towards the compound.

"Did you find whatever you were looking for?" Harada asked as he walked alongside the two, his hand holding his spear loosening a bit once she was close.

"No... Unfortunately, or fortunately, however you can look at it... If I did find something, I might actually have to kill Kodo Yukimura..." Mei stated jokingly, though her words were the truth. She didn't want the men to react to her theory without hard evidence, because then that would complicate things for them.

"Geez, I think you're around Okita too much." Harada stated with a shake of his head.

Okita only smirked while Harada and Mei shared a laugh.

/~/~/

Soon enough night fell, and Mei sat by her window with her swords in her lap as she stared up at the moon.

"My lady..."

The woman blinked a bit as two blurred silhouettes came in through the window silently and were kneeling in front of her.

It was Lan who spoke, "… We brought what you instructed us to retrieve." She stated softly before handing Mei a small bag with the pendent more than likely inside. "… It's..."

"I know, I could see it earlier..." Mei admitted as she opened the small bag and took out a slightly soot-covered pendent with a beautifully designed crest on it. "It's Mama's family's crest..." She whispered as she frowned deeply. She was still a child when she first saw the crest, but nonetheless she remembered that symbol like the back of her hand. "… Seems like Kodo Yukimura, had met Mama's family at least... this isn't the pendent she had, hers was slightly larger and on a necklace, so this must've been from a bracelet. Possibly from someone on mama's side of the family..." She murmured lightly, looking at the pendent carefully. "… Yukimura..." She whispered, the name felt so familiar yet was not familiar to her.

"… Li isn't making any sudden movements, he seems to be planning something, but nothing he will act on any time soon... I suggest you focus on the life you are living right now rather than your revenge." Lan stated.

Jun and Mei looked at the woman in surprise.

"… What?" Mei asked.

Lan looked up at the woman she was serving under with a firm gaze, "… Focus on the life you have created here... Enjoy it while it lasts... The human life is so fleeting, time flies rather quickly when you don't cherish it." She stated. "Do not forget your revenge, but do not let it consume you or define who you are." She looked back down.

Mei was quiet for some time. Thinking over the words her servant just spoke, her friend. With a soft sigh she thought of any other time Lan had ever spoken like that to her, and there were no memories of it unless it was to eat. She had always looked out for her, for her well-being. "… You may leave now..." She whispered softly, "… I will keep your words in mind, but... For now, just keep your focus on Li, and promise to report to me if anything changes..."

"Yes ma'am." The two stated before disappearing into the night as they always did.

It was a while before Mei moved from her room, the only reason being was she could faintly hear the sound of screams, agonized screams. Her body moved on instinct, walking to the other side of the compound and to the building Nimi and the rest of the Shinsengumi kept the Fury experiments.

Her swords remained sheathed until she closed the door behind her and saw the poor, unlucky creatures chained to the wall. "Poor, unfortunate things..." She whispered with evident disgust and pity.

"Kill us... It hurts... Everything hurts..." They both pleaded with whatever sanity that they were granted. Their eyes were hungry but in agony. They never wished this, and they shouldn't have had to been in that position. But humans were cruel to one another. Life was cruel.

She hated Furies, they were unnatural, unstable, and bloodthirsty, "Furies never should have been created..." She growled, her eyes glaring at them even though she knew they weren't the ones who killed her family, they were still of the same species now. "I'll make this quick." She stated before she lifted her swords and plunged them deep into their hearts. "You can die with whatever humanity you have left..." She whispered.

The woman stepped away from the two now limp bodies and sighed deeply, shakily. Closing her eyes, she lifted her swords up to her eye level and watched the blood drip off the blades and onto the ground. She knew she'd get in trouble if anyone found out, but what could she do? They begged for death... he stared down at her sword as she swiftly brought it down to get most of the blood off her blade. "I'll have to tell Okita tomorrow..." She whispered softly before she wiped off the blood with the inside of her sleeve and made her way back to her room.

On her way back however, she had run into someone.

"Mei? What are you doing up so late at night?"

Saito was up and about.

"Oh...? I could ask you the same thing, Saito." Mei murmured before she tilted her head, "It is pretty late, what would you be doing up right now?" She asked.

Saito looked at her for a moment before he closed his eyes, "I was practicing a bit more before bed." He stated plainly before he opened his eyes to look at her again, "I gave you an answer, I suppose it would be fair if you returned the pleasure."

Mei held her arms behind her back a bit before sighing, "I couldn't sleep, so I decided to take a stroll around the compound..."

"Is it your nightmares again?" He asked.

"… You could say that." Mei hesitated a bit, wondering if she should just tell Saito instead of Okita.

Saito didn't say anything at first, simply staring at her before he set his hand on his sword and walking up to her. "… You should really go back to bed... If Serizawa or Nimi saw you wandering the compound so late at night, it would cause problems for Hijikata and the others."

"I'm aware... That's why I'm going back to my room." Mei stated as she looked up into his eyes, then walking past him, "Goodnight, Saito." She could feel his eyes staring into her back before she rounded the corner.

/~/~/

The encounter was slightly alarming but Mei managed to calm her nerves and fall asleep, however, something nagged at her. Little did she know that night would create a chain of unfortunate events.

"Mei, have you seen Nimi?" Heisuke asked as he walked up to his friend's page.

The next day had went by fast, and Mei had never had the opportunity—rather, the courage, to tell Okita what she did, especially after the small incident with Saito the night before, so instead she avoided the man. Before she knew it, the sun was setting and she was practicing, per usual, in the court yard. When she heard Heisuke call out to her she turned to him and sheathed her swords, "What?... No, I haven't seen that bug anywhere. Why? Did one of them, escape?" She asked a bit confused.

"No one has seen him since yesterday..." Heisuke admitted, "They checked his room and everything about the Water of Life is gone... And Nimi is nowhere to be found..."

Mei felt a chill go down her spine as she thought of the possibilities a man craving power and money could do with The Water of Life as a product. "What!?"

The two ran back towards a room where the others who knew of the Water of Life met up. By then the sun had set, the sky was dark and stars lit up the sky.

"I suspected he would pull something sooner or later... But to think he ran off with The Water of Life, of all things." Hijikta growled.

"What should we do, Hijikata? Don't we need to hurry and find out where he went?" Heisuke asked suddenly, evident concern and urgency for the situation in his voice.

Hijikata didn't immediately answer, as if thinking about his wording for a moment, before he spoke up, "I'd love have to have every single member out looking for Nimi, but with The Water of Life in the picture, I can only send out those of us who already know about Kodo's elixir."

Sanan nodded a bit before he frowned, "Fortunately for us, Kodo did not take the men he had already experimented on... Though Nimi did kill two of them..."

"Which means, that as long as Nimi doesn't continue with the experiments, he isn't an immediate threat, but can become one?" Harada asked.

Mei sat in the back of the room, staring at the ground. Looks like Nimi did me a favor and is taking the fall for me. She thought before she looked over at Okita. She felt her shoulders relax as all the tenseness in her body left her for the moment.

"But I think we can all agree, that man will do whatever he thinks is necessary to sell The Water of Life." Okita stated.

Everyone became quiet after that statement. They all thought about it. If they didn't find Nimi soon, he may sell it to anyone he pleases and that would have devastating consequences, especially if he were to sell the elixir to the Satsuma or Choshu. On top of that, the Aizu Domain would get the backlash if it was found out that the Shinsengumi lost The Water of Life, let alone had been testing said elixir on their own men.

"Very well then, locating Nimi is our top priority. Keep a close eye out when you're out on patrols..." Kondou stated, breaking the silence before everyone nodded, with a "sir".

/~/~/

And that was it... Half a month of searching went by with no leads. The only indication that Nimi was still in Kyoto was a series of bazar murders happening around the city. It was beginning to take a toll on everyone's patience and pride as no one seemed to be able to find a solid lead to their missing rat. They all knew if they didn't find the Water of Life and Nimi soon, shit would hit the fan very fast.

Out of the blue, their prayers were answered, unexpectedly through a bull-headed man, one night, and they were finally given a lead. Everything was quickly set, and without missing another breath, Hijikata, Saito and Okita had left to finish their traitor. That night, their worst fear was stopped before it became a reality... it was all over... and Nimi was dead.

That night was nothing but a blur of a memory in the back of her mind as the next few days went by, excruciatingly fast. Those peaceful, mundane days she enjoyed came to a halt right before her eyes.

Their second headache, Mei's biggest "fan", his life too, was coming to a close. If not by his illness, but by orders of Hijikata, Sanan, and Kondou. The men who wouldn't take a person's life without reason or so carelessly—who held their idealistic samurai pride on their sleeves, were becoming twisted right in front of her.

She and a few others were informed that the Aizu had told them to "tie up loose ends" and to "take care" of Serizawa before they'd rethink their choice of allowing the Shinsengumi into their domain. Everyone knew what this meant. They weren't children nor were they ignorant to how the world truly worked. Serizawa was going to be killed... and they would be the ones to do it.

"Mei... Would you like to participate in the assassination, or keeping the other men away from the scene?" Sanan asked as he, Kondou and Hijikata were seated in front of her. The others who would know of the assassination all looking at her expecting a very obvious answer.

But...

"… I'll keep a distance... If anything goes wrong, I'll take care of it." Mei stated, looking down at the ground. She gave an answer no one would've expected.

Everyone, especially her own master, looked at her with surprise.

"Mei?"

"… I hate that man..." Mei stated as she looked at Harada, "… I hate him with a good portion of my being..." She sighed, "But I want no part of the actual assassination... If anything happens that isn't a part of the plan here at the compound, I'll take care of it."

"Like what?" Okita asked.

"… If Ryunosuke, or any of his men were to witness the assassination, and decided to cause a fuss..." Mei knew what would have to be done. She knew more than anyone what could happen if Ryunosuke would hate the Shinsengumi enough to tell all of Kyoto what occurred. She wasn't blind, and she saw how much Serizawa was beginning to mean to him. It was very similar to how important the Shinsengumi had become to her, Ryunosuke included. "Is that alright with you?"

"… That's fine with me." Kondou said softly, as if understanding why she chose what she did. He nodded his head to her. "I believe Saito can handle Heisuke and Nagakura, you can take care of Ryunosuke if it comes to that."

Sanan and Hijikata looked from Mei to Kondou before ultimately having to agree with him, whatever Kondou decided, went. Evident in how everyone didn't say another word about the matter to either of them.

At least, no one did till they all left for the night to their rooms.

"… Mei."

With a sigh the woman looked over her shoulder, stopping in her tracks as her eyes landed on her master. She slowly turned to him before frowning, "… What is it? I'm tired..." She whispered before looking away.

"I thought you of all people would want to cut him down, considering everything he's done towards you." Okita stated as he walked up to her, he was confused. She knew that much, even if he was still smirking down at her.

"... I hate him... But I don't want to be the one of the ones that cause Ryunosuke pain." Mei stated, "I don't want to take Serizawa away from him." She added before she looked away from him. She thought of how she felt, how she still feels, about Li... How she trusted him, and he tore her family away from her. It was unforgiveable. If anything, a small bit of her wished someone had done her the mercy of killing her when she witnessed the people she loved, die.

"But you'd kill him?"

Mei frowned before she took a deep breath and looked at him. I'll do what I need to, to protect those I care about. She thought, choosing not to say anything more about it and waiting for him to make a move or to speak. She knew if she tried to leave the conversation herself, he'd only get angry.

"What happened between you two?" Okita asked with narrowed eyes, "What happened between you and Ryunosuke? Or was it something Serizawa told you?"

Mei bit the inside of her lip before closing her eyes, "… Nothing happened... And nothing was said. That's just how I feel." She stated before she suddenly felt his hand guiding her to look up and face him.

"Then why can't you look me in the eyes and say that?" He asked.

Mei's eyes opened to stare into his own emerald orbs. She knew she couldn't say that while staring into his eyes... Every time she'd look into those eyes, she was compelled to tell the truth. But this was one thing, she didn't want him to know about. Her master didn't need to know everything.

Okita stared at her for a long time, her firm gaze on his calculating one. With a reluctant sigh the man released the woman and walked off, "Women are so complicated." He stated with a groan as he made his way back to his room, or possibly to the courtyard to train a bit, she wasn't sure.

All she knew for sure was that he would ask her again a bit more forcefully next time. "He's so stubborn." She whispered before she decided to walk off. She let out a small huff before she made her way to her own room in the opposite direction. Everything was going so fast—it felt like just yesterday she had helped the others with their colds, Serizawa included, by putting Ginger in their food and drinks.

Now they were planning to assassinate Serizawa. These men were facing the reality of being Samurai, the dirty jobs you had to do. The demons you had to become.

Mei stood in the pathway for a while, staring down at the ground as she thought of the past few months she had been with the men of the Roshigumi, the new Shinsengumi. They shared laughs, yells, blows, and anger. Everything she had begun to grow accustomed to was slowly falling apart at the seams. Their ideals were beginning to be dragged through the mud by the reality they're faced with. Those she has chosen to prioritize over her revenge were beginning to morph into beings she was becoming unfamiliar with.

This world had taken so much from her...

Had the world not taken enough from her?

Was the dark humor of the God's not finished with her sorry ass yet?

Or was this karma for all of her sins?

The seconds ticked by without remorse. The time for Serizawa's death getting closer and closer with every thought, every breath, and every heartbeat of hers.

After what seemed like forever, Mei finally willed herself to move and quickly made her way to the nearest well to wash her face.

Mei leaned over the well as she started to clean her face. As soon as the cool liquid touched her heated skin she left a range of emotions crash over her, her body felt heavy and she couldn't hep but grip onto the sides of the rock surrounding the well and stare into her reflection in the water.

Cold, icey blue eyes stared back at her, watching her every move. As if they were going to criticize everything she did. For a moment, the eyes seemed to glow with a primal rage before receeding, before she pulled awat and stumbled backwards, holding a hand over her eyes.

"... You look like you're having a rough night."

Mei slowly turned towards the voice, her body tensing, as she uncovered her eyes to stare into familiar steeled silver orbs. "... Serizawa." She murmured before she crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him. "Your illness is getting worse, you should be resting while you still can do so painlessly." She stated coldly, yet... Her anger seemed lackluster.

Serizawa let out a low, flat chuckle before he gripped his sword, which hung at his hip, a bit tighter, "Watch what you say, you might have to cut out your tongue." He threatened before he glanced down at the bottle of alcohol at his side. "... I'm just here to make sure... You'll be taking my secrets down to your grave, yes? Not even that Mongrel can know." He stated, looking at the woman with seriousness that he had never displayed to her let alone most of the other men.

"... I gave you my word. No one will know what you did that day... or what was said." Mei stated sharply before she turned away from him and made her way back to her room. She hoped he did not notice the quiver in her voice, her fingers twitching at her sides, or even the slight trembling of her body as she moved.

"I am no fool... So, do not treat me as one. I know my fate." Serizawa said a bit cryptically before he glared at the woman who now stopped in his tracks. "... But I'm curious... Will you put the blade through my heart? Or will you behead me?"

Mei bit her lip as two sides of her fought against one another. Her body begged her to run her sword through him at that moment, adrenaline beginning to build up in her as she fought against that very instinct. But then her mind and heart told her, no. That she couldn't. Like ropes tied her down, forced her to move only a certain way.

"I see... You'll be seeing to that Mongrel..." Serizawa hummed with a hint of whimsy. "You've become soft, pup." He stated plainly as he began to walk away.

Once he was a safe distance away from her, Mei rushed to the nearest tree, her legs moving on their own, before a flurry of kicks and punches were made at the wood.

She bit her lower lip harshly, drawing blood as she did so. She wanted to kill him so badly, every fiber of her being burned like hot iron as she fought of the desire to run him through, down to the hilt of her sword.

Everything was becoming twisted. Her own personality was becoming unfamiliar to her and to those around her. The change was so gradual she hadn't even noticed she had changed her way of thinking.

Every punch to the tree broke her skin, opening it, and causing it to bleed. Splinters sticking into her skin. Every kick ripped the top side of her foot and the back of her ankles. Blood spilling into her shoe a bit. She was relentless as she was determined to get the urge to kill out of her system, before she finally stopped. She grabbed the bark of the tree, gripping onto it and digging her nails into the tree, as she pressed her forehead to it and panted.

She could hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears. Slowly the adrenaline left her body and the stinging pain in her wounds were becoming noticable. Mei shut her eyes tightly as she collected herself. She knew what had to be done... She knew her job... She knew what side of her she'd be betraying... But in the end, none of it mattered anymore.

"It hurts..." Mei whispered as she fell to her knees.

The woman had always hated that terrible feeling in her chest. Her lips parted as she dragged her nails down the tree, a silent cry leaving her as the moon shined down on her...

Everything is tearing her up now!

Please don't forget to review, I'd love to hear what you think or want in future chapters. Tell me what you think is gonna happen, what you want to happen, what you don't want to happen, I'm so very interested.

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I'll be working on the next chapter immediately.

Love,

Chess.