Chapter 43:
"I think Coca Kingdom's sacred site might have been used to launch death-rockets," Finn announced.
You could have heard a pin drop at that pronouncement. Bonnie had never visited Blanca's kingdom. She'd been in the western kingdoms during her wanderlust period... centuries ago. There had been little to speak of in the north and even less in the south. Bonnie, with Marceline's help, had raided a couple of ancient sites, pulling together bits of technology and securing knowledge to advance her own mind. Even having been born more or less fully-formed, Bonnie had hungered for knowledge. Still, in the ruin that had been the world she was born in, travel wasn't easy. She'd never visited the southern continents, going only as far as the eastern portion of what had eventually become Deer Kingdom. Even after she'd built the Candy Kingdom and begun taking steps towards forming the Privy Council, she'd never deigned to travel so far.
Her eyes flicked to her husband, and she thought of the dark space he'd been in not very long ago. She'd been part and parcel of that. She and Marceline had both shit on him, and, if she really looked at their relationship, she'd have to admit she'd maybe kinda' kicked him while he was down a couple of times too. Was it any wonder he'd wanted to be anywhere but the Candy Kingdom when he turned seventeen? He'd wandered. He'd wandered far to the west, fighting his own terror of the sea. He'd gone as far west as the western ocean. On foot. Shockingly, Finn had become cosmopolitan, while she had become stagnant.
"What did you see," she asked? It came out in a sort of worried tone. It was different than the words that came to Blargetha's mouth. She would have said, "what do you mean?" Bonnie clearly was past the shock. She wanted the deets. The big man asked for paper, and the chamberlain rushed out and retrieved paper and pencils. And then Finn began to draw. He'd been in the sacred site with a younger, fitter Blanca. The young Coca Princess wanted to impress the pale-faced foreigner, and she'd shown him the forbidden temples of the sky-gods.
The big man drew and drew, shaping wondrous sights from memory. Nanobugs, thought Hurletta. It's the machine in him. "There are other temples in the jungles," Finn said, as he drew what he'd seen. "They're... older... They're not in as good a shape. This stuff... It reminded me of the candy-steel and the cement from Candy Kingdom..." He drew machinery and relics of his people's lost world–things that Blargetha knew from her own delvings into the past. "That's a launching stand," she muttered. "I think these other things might be propellant tanks." She'd built her first rocket and had to fill the tank by hand, but she'd done sketches of the very things that Finn was describing.
Blanca alternately bristled at the suggestion that her people's sacred place was devoted to death and squirmed at the idea that she'd simply walked away and let a stranger use it as she pleased. She'd marched the army–all the temple guards included–to the west for a war on her neighbor. She'd done it against this man's advice, pursuing what she knew was a grudge against a woman who'd managed to hold onto some of her beauty. "This is how they planned to deliver the bomb Junior stole death-metal for," Nadia muttered. It was a sobering reminder of the risks they had labored under. As the world rediscovered its collective past, the risk went up. It was going up dramatically with each passing year as more Blargethas were born.
Cutting to the chase, Abieuwa rumbled, "alright... What's our risk? I mean... We can never trust that the Legacy is safe again..." "Don't lose heart," Finn said. "If it means stationing one of the weapon-containers here permanently, that's what we'll do. If we build another Tesla-machine for the Legacy, that can be a thing too. We're going to move forward, babe. We're going to fix this." His eyes turned to Blanca, and the fat woman flinched. She knew what was coming. She'd heard stories of what had been going on with Jungle Kingdom. Beto the Witch-Doctor put a firm hand on his princess's shoulder. She had brought this on by her actions. That was the past. The future would be protecting their people's grand dream from evil use.
"You built them a rocket," Hurletta rumbled. It came out as almost an accusation. "A small one," Blargetha retorted. "I... I was buying time." She was shading things–maybe to duck sanction for what she'd done. That was the past. "How much do they have," Nadia asked? "That rocket of yours... it flew..." "I sketched things," Blargetha admitted, "but the equations... all the money-math was in my head. She has nothing. I'm guessing... I'd say she just tried to take what I'd built and just make it bigger." The Grid-Face Princess snorted in derision. You couldn't just 'make it bigger' with a rocket and expect it to move!
"Pr'olly why it blew up," Finn murmured. Moving on, Finn got down to business. They'd ducked catastrophe, and they'd had no idea. They really needed to get their arms around this before things got worse. Peihong was still out there with her bags and bundles of deadly weapons from ages past. She had fuel to make a mushroom bomb, could she just find the knowledge to do it. More sobering thought, there was a great possibility that she had the kidnaped sages from Bonnie's science academy to help her. Likely they'd tried to take Blargetha's sketches and scale them up to something bigger. It was a matter of when not if they succeeded.
Just then, Billy came in. "Meeting's adjourned, dad," he announced. "They're scared..." "Which is why I'm sending you west to Coca Kingdom," Finn replied. The younger man frowned at him. Nodding, Bonnie agreed, "it will set the precedent that the Ice-Prince is the King's voice..." "Wait," Billy complained. "I'm... my family..." Abieuwa shook her head, warning him off.
"My sister here built them a rocket, William," Hurletta declared. Billy's head snapped first to the older slime princess and then to the younger sister who gave him a sheepish wave. "Coca Kingdom's deadly legacy is a rocket-launching base, William," Nadia said. The pieces fell into place just like that. Billy's eyes flicked to his dad. "The move of the nuclear fuel," Billy started to say. "Fionna will take care of it," Finn replied. "This is more important. In the right now, since I failed to get Bandit Princess to back down, I need to be working the council. I can't go on another chase." There were larger decisions that needed to get made. Some of them would test the Privy Council's patience. Billy had been holding his own, but these treacherous bitches weren't easy to keep under control.
Defeated, Billy gave over, and Finn moved business onward. "Nadia," he said, "I know I've put a lot on you..." "You need me to go over and look at this rocket base," she said. "I'm on it." "I could go," Blargetha offered. Every face there glared at her. "Or... I could go back to work on the defense rockets," she muttered. The meeting broke up, with Nadia and Sarah latching onto either of Blargetha's wrists with superhuman strength. The pair stepped off, all but dragging the younger slime princess down the hall, ostensibly to pick her brain on what she'd given the Bandit Princess. Billy was next. He had to hand off his current job to Fi and break the bad news to his family. Anders especially was going to be upset.
Turning to her husband, Bonnie said, "I'd better go and meet with the council, babe... keep them under control..." She gave him a kiss that held all her passion, pinching his ass for good measure. Brushing his face with the tips of her fingers, the tall princess turned and strode out. Shit, that ass was nice. Clearing her throat, Hurletta announced that she was still present. Finn glanced to her, remembering that the last he'd seen her, he'd basically slipped off in the night after screwing her. His face went red hot.
Strolling up to him, broad hips wig-wagging sensually, the older sister reached up with a handkerchief and daubed Bonnie's lipstick off his face, which did nothing to alleviate his blush. As he tried to come up with something–anything, really–to say, 'Letta showed him just what was on her mind, as she shoved him down on the chair and straddled his thighs. "Welcome home, hero," she breathed, just before gluing her lips to his.
Billy arrived at Fi's quarters to find his sister up and about. He hadn't seen much of her. Upon getting his ass out of bed, he'd immediately found himself in the fire, and he'd been a little worried. O had assured him that Fionna was fine, but it was good to see that for himself. "Hey," she greeted him. She was sitting in front of a pile of books, and that immediately had him puzzled. "Ok," he said, "what gives?"
"I spent most of my life being a dummy," Fionna declared. "Now I'm in line to sit on that throne. Being a dummy doesn't cut it when people depend on you." She was faking. Ironically, she was faking being dumb right now, and they both knew it. She was doing it to spare his feelings. At the same time... she was right. He knew she was right. Hadn't their dad said it? Finn the Human no longer had space to just bull into things like a force of nature. Too many people stood to be hurt. Some could get hurt dead.
The big man sat himself. "What'd you come down for," Fi murmured, as Billy took a gander at the heavy, heavy stuff she was reading. Physics. She was looking at books on physics. His mind went to the Wall, and all the angst from their time there. It was crazy to think of it, but Fionna had built the Wall all on instinct without understanding a lick of the physics that made it work. She'd made a construct that could flash-fry anybody dumb enough to get within a couple-hundred feet of the thing. She'd made it hundreds of miles long through act of her will alone. It made him giddy to think of just how awesome his sister really was.
Taking her hand, the big man gave it a squeeze, causing her face to snap up to his. "I'm headed west," he rumbled. Fionna frowned. "Coca Kingdom," Billy sighed. "I..." "...need me to look after this place," she finished. "Ok." Sitting up, the curvy blonde asked, "what's going on in Coca Kingdom?" "Bandit Princes... she somehow figured out what Coca Kingdom's Deadly Legacy is, Fi," Billy replied. That was news. "What is it," she asked," and how can I help?" "It may be a rocket-launching base," Billy said. Fi's breath caught. She saw it immediately. "Just look after this place," Billy said. "Nadia's bringing in some of Rattleballs' war-robots. They'll be here in a few days. We'll be moving the nuke fuel after that."
Fionna nodded. Sitting up, she fastened her long arms around his shoulders and kissed him, saying, "be careful, big brother Bill. Lots of peeps would miss you if you were gone." Billy flushed. He was going to have to disappoint some of those peeps tonight. "She understands," Fionna murmured. Resting a hand on his shoulder, his too-wise sister said, "I've seen the way she looks at you, bro. She knows what you have to do." Wrinkling her nose, Fionna said, "it's those other dingbats that are the problem." Billy found himself laughing out loud at the uncharitable way she'd described Abieuwa and Noemi.
Rising, Billy turned to go, remembering an ancient piece of literature his grandmother had tried to make him read. 'These are the times that try men's souls,' he thought, and he knew it was true. "You... you should call Patrick," he said. "I think this is going to get a bit worse before it gets better," he said. She might not be seeing husband or kids for a while. Fionna gave him a look that said, 'teach your granny to suck eggs'. In a dismissive tone, she said, "I told him to go get some relief at the club daddy used to go to when moms were being ungrateful shits. I'd say you could do the same, but... well, the plump one might not be able to keep her hands to herself..." She even wrinkled her cute nose when she said it as if in disgust. Billy laughed out loud. He was still chuckling when he got to Ragnhild's quarters.
No sooner had he opened the door than Anders was rushing him. "Poppy," he burbled, "I heard you have to go..." His voice dripped disappointment and pain. Snatching him up, the big man hugged him. Abieuwa had beaten him here. "I'm sorry, son," he said. Hugging the boy, he said, "we didn't catch the bad woman. Grampa tried, but he couldn't catch her..." "Grampa's gettin' old," Anders complained. Chuckling, Billy said, "well, kiddo... that's kinda' why I have to go. I'm still young." The little boy's face brightened, and he actually laughed. Staring his stepson in the eye, Billy said, "need you to look after mom and your brother and sisters, ok?" Anders promised that he would.
Ragnhild came out of the back of her quarters. Billy gave her a smile. Likely she'd be flying home in the morning, while he flew onwards to Coca Kingdom. It sucked. He wanted to scream at his father. At the same time, he knew the older man was right. Billy mouthed, "I love you." They had tonight together.
The following day, the Royal whirlwind blew back out of the Jungle Kingdom just as quickly as it had blown in. Packs of princesses headed off to the landing field and the port, boarding boats and airships just as they'd arrived. An anxious Billy stood watching as the airships left one by one, while he tried to spend as much time as he could with his family. He had another daughter and two sons on the way, and he wasn't happy to be leaving Rags and Abieuwa especially. Anders, in a clear sign that he was growing, was quite the little man today, fetching things for his sisters and brother and doing anything his mom asked of him with (mostly) no complaints.
Finally, there was no more time to delay. The airship had to go. Exchanging one last embrace with his two wives, the big man turned, stooped, and gave Anders a hug. "Bye-bye, poppy," the boy said. "I'll be good. I'll take care of things..." Tousling his hair, Billy said, "I know you will, son. See you soon." Then he turned and went up the ramp. Taking her son by the hand, Ragnhild the Frozen Yogurt Princess immediately turned to walk away. Abieuwa was, as usual, a beat late. Squaring up, she gathered up her daughter and turned to follow.
Across the field, the King of Ooo was also boarding an airship. At his side were Simone, Cherry, Breezy, and Bronwyn. Waiting aboard the aircraft in a forcefield containment was Jake Jr. with Drew at her side. "Doc," Finn greeted his wife. Turning to his brother's daughter, Finn said, "I'm happy to see you alive, Jake." Which was pretty damned far from where the shapechanger thought they were. Squatting before the cell, the big man asked, "anything you want me to tell your mom and dad?" Glancing away, the hybrid rumbled, "nothing... I... nothing..." "It'll wait," Finn said, as he gathered himself to his feet once more. "When you're able..." It was just like she hadn't tried to murder his son.
The big man headed forward, with Drew stepping off after the pack, leaving Bronwyn there with her aunt. A hostile Jr. growled, "what're you looking at?" "One of the family fuck-ups," Bronwyn muttered before she too turned and stalked off. Jake Jr. stared after her, shocked at that reaction. That was the reaction she'd been expecting from Finn and Simone. Heading forward, Bronwyn arrived at the passenger lounge at the front of the airship just in time to have the door shut in her face. It appeared that a family conference was going on, and she wasn't invited.
The ship came wafting down out of the sky in a driving rain. It was the kind of storm that made Bronwyn nervous. She didn't much like this whole flying thing. She was never more grateful than when the wheels were finally on the ground. The airship crew taxied the thing slowly over to the vehicles waiting there for the passengers, getting as close as they could. Simone covered the rest herself. As the family descended the ramp, the Ice Queen conjured a canopy of ice, bridging the gap to the limousines.
Thor was waiting on them, holding the door for the Royal Family. His expression suggested he had news. As Finn came within earshot, the giant announced, "we've got our troops in position, sire. Preparations are ready." Those words from the Captain of the Guard were a little ominous to Bronwyn. Before she could ask or even say a word, a soldier was taking her by the arm and bundling her into a second car. Behind them, a heavily armed force of soldiers took custody of Jake Juniors' prison.
As the motorcade roared through the night, bound for the Candy Palace, Thor caught his master up on goings on. "She's got something like four-thousand men, scattered across the Candy Kingdom," the big man announced. Cherry whistled. That was a lot. Of course, her smirk told Finn there was another shoe waiting to drop. "Three-thousand, nine-hundred, and twenty," she said, when her husband asked the question. Thor's eyes widened. Nodding, the little crime-boss said, "she's been trying to recruit from the underworld. I have eighty men in key places..." Nodding, the Captain of the Guard said, "if you give me the names and descriptions, I'll endeavor not to kill them."
It was about to get very real. The Wax-Hustler had infiltrated three hundred men to the opera-house, within spitting distance of the palace. Thor had been slowly beefing up the defenses for days. "She doesn't know," the big man rumbled. Finn gave him a look that showed doubt. "Candy's been in their base," Thor admitted. "That's dangerous, Thor," Simone growled. "We were careful," Thor insisted. "I needed the help. I needed to sell the story that all the troops are out at the wall." "Alright for now," Simone allowed.
Star was waiting on them when they rolled into the palace. "All members of the Royal Family are pretty much on lockdown," she announced. "I've informed the Vampire King of what's coming... just in case." "Precautions for the Crowned Heads of Ooo," Simone asked? "We've done what we could," Thor said. They couldn't trust some of them. It was what it was. "Ingrid reports that the wall is secure," Star continued. "She's got troops dug in at the gap." Checking his watch, Thor said, "if you'll all come this way..." It was getting close to time for their nasty friends to come visiting.
The soldier-turned-gangster-turned soldier led them to Bonnie's Situation Room. Finn found himself remembering the first time he'd been here. Lemongrab had been creepin' on peeps–sneaking into their homes and staring at them. He wasn't sure what weirded him out more–the fact that Bonnie had cameras in peeps' homes, or the fact that Lemongrab was sneaking in and out of peeps homes. As Captain of the Guard, he'd abolished all the cameras–an act that had sent Bonnie ballistic. He'd shut her down by threatening to install one in her bedroom and broadcast the goings-on all over the Kingdom.
They'd compromised in the end. The cameras in sensitive places were still up. There were cameras at the bus-stops. There were cameras on the trams. There were cameras in Gumbald Square. At the same time, the average candy-person could go into their homes and be away from all the watching eyes. Now, Thor began to pull up the various camera-views, and the family settled in to watch and wait. In the middle of all the frantic preparations, Maja came in, carrying a bag of popcorn of all things. Heedless of Breezy's staring, the Sky-Witch sat herself on Finn's lap.
And that was when the whole thing began.
It was almost as if Maja had slipped the disk into the holo-player. As the family watched, the wax-hustler's soldiers came swarming out of the opera-house. Behind them, Cherry's confederates bolted the doors, locking them out of the opera-house. They wouldn't be returning to hole up inside and risk the destruction of one of Bonnie's treasures. Curling up on Finn's lap, Maja began to munch noisily on popcorn, as the whole business unfolded. "Shhhh," Cherry hissed, as the thugs came rushing up on the palace. Not that it at all stopped Maja from munching–or snuggling.
On the screen the enemy soldiers rushed the gates, finding them already locked and barred–with hundreds of heavily armed guards on the walls above. That was the first surprise. The soldiers stood there a moment, perplexed, as the guards poured fire down on them. Still, they were game. Several members rushed forward with heavy packages that Finn guessed were explosives. Setting them in place, one man blew himself up on the spot. They could hear the tremendous blast from inside the palace and feel the ground shake. "Ooooh," Maja crowed. "Good sound!" "Shhh," Simone hissed her. The Sky-Witch offered the popcorn bag to Simone, who declined.
A second explosion rang out–this one more successful–and then a third. They were going off a little prematurely, and Finn's eyes flicked to Cherry, who smiled by way of answer. They hadn't really asked about where the explosives came from. Bonnie's old chemistry experiments in the wastelands weren't very stable, obviously. "Oooh," Maja squealed, around a mouthful of popcorn as the thugs rushed the one hole in the gate. The enemy soldiers piled up there in the opening, finding a second, temporary wall set up behind the first.
The slaughter was tremendous. It was almost sickening watching his troops mow down Chelsea's thugs. Now the thugs began to stream away in a panic, causing Maja to complain that the show was over too quick. Their perfect setup was shattered. Thor, working the control console, switched the video feeds. "Oooh," squealed the Sky-Witch! "This one! This one!" There were hundreds of thugs attacking the powerplant out in the wilds south of Chocago. It was one of Chelsea's better efforts, apparently, with what looked like two hundred men on hand.
As Finn and Simone watched grimly–and Cherry and Maja kibitzed–the two-hundred soldiers ran headlong into a meat-grinder. Breezy squirmed in her chair, watching the slaughter as the thugs attacked and attacked and attacked again, goaded on by their fear of the evil woman who ruled them. They had no hope or chance, really. Thor had been working on this ambush of the ambush for weeks, slowly bleeding the army away at the Wall and moving bits and pieces of it to prime spots where he knew the enemy was going to attack.
The scene was repeated over and over again over the next couple of hours, with one band after another meeting an ugly fate as they encountered not the cakewalk that they'd been promised but a meat-grinder instead. While Maja and Cherry laughed and chuckled at the grim fates meted out, Finn began to grow increasingly uneasy. They were winning and handily. Trouble was, what would happen when Chelsea realized she'd been tricked? Peihong had said she was crazy–even psychotic. At the height of the battle in the streets, the big man turned to his Captain of the Guard and asked, "did you take any measures to look after the women in the Men's Club on Fifth Street?"
Cherry's mouth shut in mid-guffaw, and Thor and Simone both spun to face him. It was obvious that Thor hadn't even thought of them. They weren't Royals, after all. Simone glanced at her husband and blushed to her hair as she suddenly remembered his words from months ago. She'd involved Teri and Riley in their ugly world. Finn blipped himself out from under Maja, depositing her on the chair he'd just left. "W-where," Maja burbled, as the big man strode for the door? Simone caught her hand, whispering at her to wait. There was still danger to their family, and Finn had to go get things squared away.
Indeed, miles away, Fedir Brutko stood watching as his mistress went on a tear. She was in full-on meltdown. New from the field wasn't good. Somehow the enemy had figured out what was going on. They had soldiers waiting on her men at every location they'd planned to hit. The power-station. The palace. The train station. The army was everywhere. More to the point, they were clearly well prepared, stocked with piles of weapons and ammunition to withstand a siege. "Somebody talked," Chelsea shrieked! "Fucking Kim! He must've talked! I'm going to eat his liver! I'll kill his bitch! I'll do that fucking kid! They're all gonna' fucking die!"
Fedir weathered the gale, as she grew increasingly agitated, shrieking about things she was going to do. She was going to make Kim Kil Wan's wife guest-of-honor in a snuff movie. She was going to feed his daughter to a dragon. She wanted him to suffer! The thug maintained his distance and calm, even though he was terrified. He'd intended to be elsewhere. He'd intended to be leading the fight. That would have been his cover to slip away. She'd held him back here. Of all her henchmen, she'd held Fedir back.
The nasty witch stopped in mid-rant, and Fedir feared that she now realized he was saying nothing. Turning to face him, calm returned to her face–like fading ripples on a now-still pond. "Do we have any men left," she asked? "Twenty," he replied, "just your bodyguards, lady." She had gone all in after all. "I'm going to get something out of this," she growled. "Shouldn't you flee," Fedir asked? "If Kim has revealed you..." Her eyes blazed, and he feared he was on the edge of death. Her breast rose and fell. She was warring with her sense of self-preservation and her rage at the people who'd killed her beloved brother. "Take me to my hotel," she said. "Send the men to the club. Bring me the heads of those bitches."
Finn was tearing through the streets in a Banana-Guard truck, alone but for his unhappy bodyguard when Patrick called. He'd been calling Riley on and off on the phone and getting nothing, which was causing him to get increasingly wound up. Seeing Betty's son on the line, the big man frowned. All of his family was supposed to be hunkered down. Why was Patrick calling? Flicking the phone on, he muttered, "go."
"Finn," Patrick greeted his father-in-law. "I'm down here at that bar... one you asked me to look in on." Finn sat up straighter. "Yeah," he rumbled? "Twenty dudes just came in," Patrick said. "They look rough." "On my way," Finn replied. Stepping on the gas, the King swerved into oncoming traffic, flicking on the lights and siren. In the midst of trying to talk Patrick through what actions he was to take, the younger man finally said, "uh... I gotta' go."
Down in Riley's Club, four of the men who'd come in drew guns. They were all out of time. As the cupcake girl on the stage screamed, Patrick enfolded two of the men in a cylinder of ice. That surprised the thugs, who were focused on the terrified bouncer in the corner. Time slowed down just then. Patrick hurled ice-daggers at the first two men to glance his way, as the other men shot the bouncer dead-center, laying him out. The fight went sideways then, with the barkeep hefting an illegal shogtun and shooting one of the assailants in the head, splitting the thugs' fire three ways.
It was a crazy scene with johns scrambling for safety, even knocking down the dancers to get away. Some rushed the toilets. Some rushed the windows. Many rushed for the back, getting tangled up with naked and half-naked girls who were trying to escape the men bent on murdering them. Patrick stood his ground, finding his center in the middle of a whirlwind of violence. Moving deliberately to throw off their aim, using tables and chairs for concealment, the young wizard took the thugs on one man at a time. He was going to die here. He thought he was going to die here. It felt that way. There were enough of them that he didn't think he had a chance.
Just as the bandits were getting the range, a force of nature came tearing into the room. Finn the Human sawed off the hands of the man in the back–the guy who was directing traffic. It was lightning fast, and he was already moving onwards. A second man's head left his shoulders. Not that Patrick got much room to breath. The men at the front of the pack were still focused on him. Feinting that he was going to run out towards the bar, the young man turned and ran the other direction, dodging fire as he went with steel darts tearing through couches millimeters from his face.
The fight didn't last much longer after that. With Finn and his bodyguard rolling up behind them, the remaining bandits were swiftly cut down. Patrick found himself standing amidst the carnage facing his father-in-law, all thoughts of rubbing one out forgotten. "You ok," Finn asked? His voice was cold. Patrick gulped down his fear. He was talking to The Machine. "I'm ok," he said. Turning to go, the big man said, "gather up the girls. Take them to the palace. Send for doctors for the injured." "Uh, where are you going...," Patrick murmured? "To finish this," Finn replied.
Chelsea the Wax Hustler had gone back to the posh hotel-suite that Kim Kil Wan had provided her. Far from rushing to gather up her things, she'd loafed about, taking her time. Her henchman wanted to be gone, but she had hopes of hearing something from the hit-team sent to that club. She wanted to leave with something. She'd put him off. She'd sent him to go and stash the car, while she took a shower and changed.
As the moments crawled by, she glanced again and again to the phone on the toilet. It wasn't ringing. It didn't ring, and the silence was deafening. Fedir had warned her. He'd reminded her again and again what a man like her opponent was capable of. Would a man like Finn the Human have left even his playthings alone? Fedir was the voice of reason–the angel on her shoulder counseling her away from rash thinking. She should have listened.
Standing under the water, turning slowly into a prune wasn't helping. Climbing out of the shower, she toweled off, gathered on some fresh underwear, and prepared to get out of here. It was past time she was gone. She didn't really want to admit it, but fucking Peihong was right. This gambit was a failure. It was time to retrench and maybe mend fences.
Coming out of the bathroom, Chelsea came face to face with her mortal enemy and stopped stock still. He was sitting there on the chair at the foot of the bed, dressed in an expensive silk suit like the King he claimed to be. He made that suit look so good, and a corner of her thought he wore that suit better than her brother ever could have. Stepping into the light wearing a bathrobe, the little murderess burbled, "I thought it would be one of her killers..." Finn shrugged and said, "this is personal, isn't it...?" Chelsea's face flushed minutely.
Nodding, the King of Ooo said, "I knew all along, Chelsea. I suspected from the first I saw you on the stage. Wax-people aren't so common on the mainland that I should be running into two." Her eyes went wide, and he could see her doing the calculations. "W-why," she stammered? "Did I go to your room," he asked? He gave her a shrug and a smile before admitting, "I did need somebody to talk to. This job sucks. It isn't anything like you or your pal are thinking." Her face went red hot, and he knew she was wavering over into female outrage. Somehow it was far better for a man to think only in terms of poking you with his pecker than to have him basically say he was only there for the conversation.
Calmly, Finn told her, "you aren't the first to try to get me in bed to turn around and try to fuck me over, Chelsea. Ironically, I married both your predecessors. Learned a lot from the pair of them, though. Like how not to think with your balls." They were coming down to brass tacks now. She began circling to his left, and he knew she was angling to reach his left arm. "Why come and face me yourself," she asked? "You've got the mob in your pocket, and you've got that bitch's spies too. You could have just put a hit on me." With a shrug, Finn said, "I want you to surrender and come quietly. Your brother's not worth your life, Chelse..."
The change was instantaneous. One moment she was standing there. The next she was slashing the empty air above the chair with her sharp fingernails. Finn was standing behind the chair. "Don'tyoutalkaboutmybrotheryoufuckingbastard," snarled the little murderess! Finn had heard all about how violent she became, ironically from her partner in crime. She lost all sense and went berserk. Ironically, he'd hit on that as the key to defeating her.
"Your brother was a coward," Finn told her. "He was a coward, a swindler, and a thief. I'm ashamed of the few moments I trusted him. He could never have held onto a crown because he had piss for courage." The pint-sized murderess screeched at him, and lunged. Finn easily darted out of her way. Huffing and puffing, she screamed threats at him, but Finn merely smiled back by way of response. "He died as he deserved, Chelsea," he said. "Melted to death. You've got guts. A lot more than he did." Again she tried to claw him, this time slashing his silk jacket. "Not bad," said the King of Ooo. He was just as fast as she'd feared! She was out of breath, and she wanted to tear his lips off with her teeth!
Finn was still speaking, telling her all about her brother's failings and shortcomings. The murderess continued to circle, doing her best to wind down the distance. If she could get one good, deep scratch or a kick with her stiletto shoes... As Finn ticked off the litany of her brother's failings, the little maniac wound up and threw a snap-kick at his face. A clean miss. "You can't win, Chelsea. Stronger opponents than you have tried. The Lich tried it twice. My father brought a fucking alien army. Hell, even Death himself made a run after my neck. I'm going to live to a nice, ripe old age, and there's nothing you can do..." He dodged another kick. "I'll likely live to be two-hundred. You, Chelse? You're going to be in prison. Then you'll be dead..."
"I'll kill you," she howled! "I'll eat your fucking heart!" She went all out, but Finn seemed like he was playing. She had to find a better way. Her eyes darted this way and that, as she huffed and puffed. He had his back to the balcony. Slashing took work. What if she just threw herself at him/on him. She could take him over the railing. She'd be dead, but he'd be dead too.
On his side, Finn could see the calculation in her eyes. She was going to do it. It was just as her partner had said. She was crazy enough to throw her life away to get Finn. All he had to do was goad her a little more. "He took advantage of his own sister," Finn said. "What kind of man does that? He was a sick fuck, and I wish I'd been the one to kill him."
The murderess threw herself at him. He knew the reckoning. She was reckoning that, with his back to the door of the balcony, there was just no way he could escape. There was no way she wouldn't be able to claw him, even if it cost her life too. She was wrong, of course. Time was a funny thing. He was already behind her when she made her leap. It cost him. It cost him quite a lot to make that jump. He could feel the curse's painful bite, and it left him winded. A bunch of his tomorrows had gone up in smoke.
Chelsea hung there from the balcony's elegant wrought-iron railing, poised between life and death. Her eyes danced between her hate and rage and a primal terror. "I'm sorry," Finn said. "I'm sorry for all he did to you and all he didn't do for you. I didn't have a sister... never knew what that was like." His voice was full of pity, and he sounded as if he actually gave a damn. The wax-woman spat curses. "Surrender," he said. "Tell me how to find Peihong. Your crimes are too horrendous to save your soul, but you could buy off some of the worst of the punishment. I could put a good word in for you with the Dark Lord of the Night-O-Sphere." "Fuck you," she spat.
Finn sighed and turned to go. "Wait," she screamed! The big man turned back towards her. His face still held pity, but he was clearly balanced on the edge of returning her spite and then some. "I'll tell," she spat! "Pull me up, and I'll tell." He knew it was a lie when the last words left her lips. She would claw him. She would claw him with her venomed nails and try to take him with her. Her last act–with her last breath–would be to kill him. If she couldn't get Bonnie, she'd kill Finn to hurt the Candy Princess. With a heavy-hearted sigh, he reached down to the little murderess. He needed the information. And that was when Sybil cut Chelsea's hands off at the wrist. As the wax-woman plummeted forty floors to her death, Finn spun to face his other curse.
The grass-demon cussed him. She cussed him a long few minutes. Jabbing him in the chest, she cussed him and cussed him before breaking down into tears. "You know what I am," he sighed, as he gathered her into his arms. "Yes," she howled! "That's the problem! You'd throw everything away! On a whim!" "My life means nothing, if I let my world vanish," he murmured. "I needed to know where Peihong is." "It would have killed you," she spat! He would have used the curse to dodge back through time and duck Chelsea's last strike at him. She slapped him as hard as she could, which was hard enough to knock the spit from his mouth. Pressing her fingers against the shock of white hair at his temples, she closed her eyes.
Finn felt a shock of power course through him. Moments later, he found himself on the floor, with no idea how he'd gotten there. When he looked up, Sybil was holding the robot arm Sarah had built for him. Grimacing in distaste, she cast it aside before reaching out to him. "I can't keep you alive if you insist on burning up your life," she told him. "I can't keep us both going." "I can't promise that I won't use the Curse," Finn replied. "I can only promise that I won't make a toy of it." "Deal," she agreed. "Emergencies." When she touched the stump of his arm, the grass-demon began to shrink and shrivel until, moments later, he had his familiar arm again.
Rising, the big man dusted himself off–right-handed, in unconscious habit. Peihong was waiting out there, somewhere, with a stockpile of terrible weapons. If what Blargetha said was true, she had no means to deliver them. Yet. He needed to find the Bandit Princess before she figured out a way to deliver death to the people of Ooo.
Down on the street, a crowd had formed around the corpse of the beautiful opera singer. There were people in that crowd who had seen her perform. Others had seen her at the fabulous parties thrown by Chocago's wealthy. This was the cap on a night of terror. They'd all heard the gunfire and seen the carnage on TV. Now this. It seemed very much like the violence had somehow found its way here.
Several people there stared up at the window from which she'd fallen. There had been a figure there in the window, and many of the people assumed he was the murderer. How else to explain her missing hands? It was shocking in a neighborhood renowned for its beauty and sophistication. There should be no murders here among the wealthy!
One face there stood strong in the face of the rising panic, wagging tongues, and pointed fingers. Fedir was more puzzled than anything. How had he lasted this long? Had he really survived his evil master? It seemed like an impossible dream. A part of him pitied the evil creature that lay there in a shattered heap in her underthings. A part of him found it ironic. She'd murdered many a man when they were vulnerable in their drawers. "Goodbye," he murmured, as he turned to go. He had a life still to live, and he aimed to get about living it.
Whew! Patrick comes up aces. Chelsea the Wax-Hustler is dead. Fedir walks away a free man at last. And Maja is... bent. That was a pretty wild ride.