-(Now, Cartman and Liane are making some homemade chicken dumpling soup. It is Liane's job to chop the vegetables, and it will be Cartman's job to pour in and stir the dumplings.)
Liane (chopping carrots, talking to herself): Alright, nice and steady... so I heard this story on the news... about the state of Washington being put on lockdown, and that there could be much more cases than what's being reported in our country...
Cartman (stirring the dumplings with a wooden spoon): Aw man, this is so hard. Glad they made dough mixing machines... my arms are getting tired. Whew!
Liane: It's good exercise, sweetie. Try to work all that fat off your-
Cartman: Mom! MOM! Are you calling me fat?
Liane: Uh, no, Eric... I'm sorry...
Cartman: Okay. So I guess it's all well mixed. How big are the dumplings supposed to be?
Liane: About the size of a coin.
Cartman: Okay mom, sounds good.
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(Now, guess what doesn't sound so good... over at the South Park Hospital, the building is running out of unoccupied beds for COVID19 patients. Some of the patients are from South Park Elementary.)
(Now, Wendy Testaburger is one of the quarantined patients. She is in bed, with IV machines and an oxygen mask hooked up on her to keep her alive. She frequently coughs and spits up phlegm, and she is very sad, afraid she might die.)
Doctor (taking her pulse on her wrist): Is Wendy going to be alright?
Nurse: I don't know. She has to wear an oxygen mask, and something indicates to me that's she's going to need artificial lungs.
Doctor: And how much is a single artificial lung?
Nurse: 2,000 dollars. Her parents have insurance to pay off those bills, right?
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(Meanwhile at Stanley's house, Sharon is trying to fit all the dry groceries into the kitchen cabinets, Stanley and Shelly are playing checkers, and Rancy is doing something weird in the bathroom, trying to make a "cure" for the virus.)
Sharon (stuffing a large pouch of dry milk into the cabinet, after taking some crackers out): Oh wow, looks like I have to do some serious cabinet cleaning.
Stan: Oh great, now I'll be stuck home with my older sibling.
Shelly: Whaddya say, Stanley? Imma kick your ass later on!
(Randy emerges from the bathroom, with him wearing smiley underwear. He tested a homemade "coronavirus cure" on his wrist, sniffing it.)
Randy: Alright everybody! I think I got the cure for the coronavirus. It's some armpit hair mixed with cologne perfume. Have a sniff! (holds out his right wrist towards Stanley.)
Stan (sniffs the "cure"): Ugh! That's blue perfume mixed with armpit sweat! Ew, no!
Stay tuned for the next chapter.