T'Leiarel walked slowly down the shaded paths. The final examinations were over and she no longer needed to return to the Academy, but she wasn't eager to return home either. The green gardens near the Starfleet Regional Offices were beautiful with trees and flowers. Anywhere else it would be considered a waste of water and resources, but these had been created in honour of the friendship with Earth back when it had been the Terran Embassy and were considered of cultural and historical importance.
It was hard to imagine a world like this, where the ground was green not golden red sands, where the sun danced in safely moving soft patches between the leaves. A world with so much water that you could see it spread around you to the horizon, like standing out on the dunes but blue. There were many worlds like it out there, she knew that much, had studied it, seen the images, but this was the closest she had come to being somewhere like that. It was the closest she was likely to as well, she would be expected to stay at home once she married to care for children, and few women travelled off world before that.
She felt so trapped.
That was when her comm pad started to sound. Sitting on one of the cool shaded benches she dug through her bag to pull it out and pressed the button to answer the call. She didn't recognise the face she was met with but he felt familiar somehow.
"Greetings T'Leiarel, I am Savel." Her betrothed? It was early for his time to have begun, but not unheard of, they were nearly impossible to predict. She frowned slightly, looking for any signs, but he seemed calm, difficult to read. "Is it convenient to discuss something with you? I was informed you were likely to have arrived home at this time but it does not appear that you have." The bushes behind her would be something of an indication.
"As I had finished my studies I intended some quiet contemplation in a pleasant location." She kept her tone even, despite the concern. Well, concern was probably an understatement, it was more like terror. It was bad enough living at home but to be bound to another, already, when she was awaiting graduation. The lie was all though, and her face froze into calm stillness even as her mind screamed.
She had been trained in the lie for so very long, even as most children were taught to suppress their feelings beneath logic to control them, she was taught instead to hide them. The doctors had said her brain would never be the same as the others, just like her hair and her skin. The same proteins that made pigment were a small but critical part of brain development, specifically the part that allowed a Vulcan to stop feeling. By the time she was born and the doctors saw the colour of her hair it was too late. So the lie began, hiding everything that made her into herself rather than who they wanted her to be. Hair dye, the blank doll face, the slightly tinted sun cream at a strength designed for humans.
"I felt I should inform you myself. I have spoken with my parents and I will be ending our arrangement." She wasn't sure how to respond. In many ways it was the best news he could tell her but she knew there was more to it. It was rejection and liberation in one. "Your brother gave us some information your parents had withheld." The feelings shifted to anger, he had probably justified it to himself but this was a petty attempt to hurt her. "He spoke with us yesterday but we did not want to cause you any trouble that might impact on your ability to complete your examinations." That was precisely what he had wanted.
"I understand." She made a fist, her nails digging into the palm of her hand, the small pain grounding her, keeping the reaction at bay, though it would come out later. "Thank you for the consideration regarding distractions during my studies." His, or more likely his parents' concern had stopped Stelev's plan from succeeding. No wonder he had bothered to walk with her to the Academy that morning, he must have been hoping to see her reaction.
"My parents are sending a message to your parents on the matter as we speak." Well that was convenient, at least she wouldn't have to bring it up with them. "I hope that this has not caused you emotional distress, given your condition." So he had told them everything. Even the training could not hide the flush across her cheeks and her nails bit deeper into her palms. Anger and humiliation surged. She allowed herself to close her eyes for a moment and take a breath. Even that small act would be weighed and judged, even more so given what he knew, but she couldn't help it. She opened them to his raised eyebrow and mild concern.
"Your actions have been logical and you have handled the matter with all possible tact. I will need to discuss my plans moving forwards with my parents." T'Leiarel ended the call before he could respond, all that was left after all was more awkward pleasantries. It was illogical to put herself through them.
Uncurling her clenched hand she looked at the small half-circles on her palm. Her blood was as green as anyone else's. Nothing would ever be good enough, not getting into the Academy, no matter what the results were, nothing. Her comm rang again.
"T'Leiarel, your mother and I are disappointed. We will attempt to reason with Savel and his parents. Come directly home." Beyond her parents sat Stelev, watching the call with interest. She couldn't bear the thought of returning there. The burning emotional storm seemed to calm, a form of clarity as she looked back down at her hand. It was illogical to remain in a situation which only caused pain.
"Farewell." Turning off her comm pad and putting it away, she stood to walk in the direction of the transport station. She would go somewhere she didn't need the lie anymore, somewhere green like the gardens.