It was strange how easy it was to just pick up and leave. Perhaps a part of her had always known her time on Earth would be temporary, even with the years since she had left Vulcan and the months since it had been destroyed she could still fit everything worth taking anywhere into one large duffel, and it only took a few vid calls to break her ties here. El looked out the window after the last call, the officers were waiting for her at a café down the street, she could slip away, she had started fresh on a strange world once before after all…
It had been a shock seeing Spock, and now he was waiting for her, it had felt… odd. It was probably just the fact that she hadn't seen another Vulcan in a long time, well a half Vulcan, not that she was much better on that front. If anyone could understand what it was like to not belong among your own people it would be Spock, and he hadn't even had the option of hiding it, everyone had known about his differences. She couldn't leave them to deal with her brother's irritation and likely petty troublemaking, she would have to face this herself, she had known it would not be as easy as ignoring a few messages and hoping another planet was far enough away to be left alone.
Would anywhere truly be far enough? She would go to New Vulcan, she would leave Earth behind, and once she had faced her brother who knew where she could go then. She had heard good things about Risa…?
Spock was feeling impatient. It was not a feeling he was used to having, nor one he was comfortable with, and it was proving more difficult than usual to properly subdue it. If his emotions continued to grow more unstable he would have to excuse himself from bridge duty. At least it would not take them long to reach New Vulcan. While the other two chatted about the weather, the drinks, the sugary cakes they had ordered and so forth, Spock checked on the new orders which had arrived while they were away from the ship. As they had been expecting they were now ordered to visit New Vulcan, and to remain for in orbit for three days, delivering supplies to the colony as they did so.
It seemed odd that they would have been tasked to such a mundane mission but then Spock saw his father's name on the request, if his other self had hinted to his father of his possible condition at this point in time then it made sense they would have made arrangements. The relationship with his father was better than it had been but this was a delicate topic that would be uncomfortable to bring up, but he should message his father when they returned to the ship.
"What do you think Spock?" Kirk was looking at him with some degree of concern. Spock felt a flash of irritation at the interruption to his thoughts, and at the fact that he had not been paying as much attention to his Captain as he might usually be doing. "Why do you think she bleached her hair? I mean it looks good but it doesn't fit in with the other Vulcans."
"Logically, if T'Leiarel wanted to fit in with the other Vulcans, as you put it, she would be living on New Vulcan and not on Earth." It was a question that had puzzled him however, the why of it. It was a lot of effort to maintain an alternative hair colour and was hardly likely to be done without reason, and yet it seemed right somehow. "We should head back and see if she is ready to leave." Part of him hoped she wouldn't be there, that she wouldn't be married to someone she did not want, part of him was already longing to spend more time around her and demanding he check that she had not left… both of those parts were, for the time being at least, soundly ignored. It was simply the instincts pressuring him. He forced his face to calmness trying to ignore the raised eyebrow from Uhura, who seemed to have noticed his distraction.
"Okay then…" Even Kirk seemed to have noticed something… he would have to do better at monitoring himself. Spock kept his pace steady as they made their way back up the street. Letting the Captain take the lead, though he seemed to be particularly slow today. They arrived at the apartment as T'Leiarel stepped out, setting her bag down to close the door behind her. "Hey, do you need a hand with your luggage?" It seemed a large bag for a few days, but he decided not to comment, and tucked his hands behind his back to resist the urge to take it before the Captain could. Spock wondered at the wry smile on T'Leiarel's face until Kirk tried to lift the bag and was clearly surprised by the weight. "I forgot about the gravity differences…" He muttered.
Spock reached forward to take the bag at the same time as T'Leiarel, their hands brushing before she pulled back, eyes slightly wide. The sensation was dramatic, the sharp feeling of hunger in the pit of his stomach, he would need to stay away from her on the ship, it was hard enough dealing with the emotions that had been stirred already without pushing himself further.
*******
The wave of raw emotion was unexpected… the lack of sufficient filters in her own mind had always made her more sensitive than most to the emotions of others, her mind was drawn forcibly back to childhood, and the guilt of a boy who had blamed himself for the provocation of others, for being someone who did not belong. His feelings then had seemed so very like her own. Now their connection was likewise full of odd parallels. The tumult of uncertainty and self-restraint, the hunger spilled into the connection like it had been waiting for all those years. The hunger for acceptance, for affection, for being enough, though she doubted he would see it for what it was, not with the way Vulcans were trained to repress their emotions rather than study them.
As Spock took the lead back towards the shuttle port, with the concerned looking human woman next to him, she focused her attention on Captain Kirk. He was easily recognisable from the news reports following the destruction of Vulcan and his actions preserving Earth. Though clearly embarrassed by the bag incident, they were soon able to settle to discussing music.