As the team walked along the zoo's pathways, Miri the monkey hopped from Simiya's arm and scurried over to Goku, climbing up his body and onto his shoulders. The primate began to comb through the Saiyan's wild hair.
"Ah! Hi there!" Goku greeted the monkey, not really minding his new friend but curious about his behavior.
Simiya looked stunned, "Wow. Miri has never warmed up to somebody that quickly. I guess there's something special about you. He's grooming you right now. A lot of primates use grooming to form bonds or establish hierarchies," she informed her guests.
"Ooh! That's interesting!" Chi Chi suddenly had a pen and notebook in her hand, and was furiously taking notes on this new information. Simiya walked over to Goku, holding her elbow out and inviting Miri to join her instead, but the stubborn animal slapped her arm away.
Goku grinned at the concerned look on the tour guide's face, "It's okay! He can hang out with me if he wants! When I lived out in the forest as a kid I was friends with lots of monkeys!"
Simiya stared at him, before laughing at what she concluded was a joke, "As long as you don't mind." She turned and continued leading the group to the primate division of the zoo.
The party eventually reached their destination, visiting each exhibit and listening to Simiya, who enjoyed reminding them all that it was the Brief's charitable donations that allowed the zoo to create such an elaborate display. As Chi Chi was taking notes, she felt someone tap on her shoulder. She turned to see Piccolo, who nodded in the direction of the baboons.
"Those things resemble the Oozaru transformation more than any other animal we've seen so far."
"Oozaru? You mean the great ape thingy?" Piccolo nodded. Chi Chi walked over to the exhibit to see a troop of baboons, all with long muzzles and rather angry looking faces, "That's what my sweet little Gohan turns into?!"
"Yes, except he's 50 times larger, has glowing red eyes, and is determined to destroy everything around him," Piccolo reflected on his time training Gohan and the horrific night when he changed into a furious Oozaru. Chi Chi looked as if she was going to faint.
The duo was startled by a certain Saiyan prince sneaking up behind them to join their conversation, "You know, I can hear you two idiots talking, and I'll have you know that the mighty Oozaru is far more intimidating and impressive than… whatever the hell that creature is." He gestured to the baboons, which were currently picking insects off of one another and eating them. Bulma snuck into the conversation.
"What are we whispering about over here?"
"Vegeta doesn't think those baboons resemble the Great Ape that the Saiyans turn into on a full moon." The Namekian answered.
Bulma analyzed the monkeys, "Oh yea, that totally looks like that nightmare of a form you all have."
"No it doesn't!"
"Does too! What- did you look into a mirror when you were a monster? Goku almost ate me, I think I would know!"
Chi Chi was pale, "Oh kami, my husband is a monster…"
"Whatcha guys talkin' about?" Goku joined the group with Miri still checking his hair and Gohan following closely behind him.
"These baboons look like how you do when you look at a full moon." Bulma answered her friend.
"Really?!"
"Kakarot, don't listen to them. Not even you deserve to be insulted in such a way. The Oozaru transformation is a fearsome form that haunts civilizations across the galaxy. It is not the same as some ridiculous looking Earthling primate!"
"What's an Oh-zaroo?" Panchy asked, out of the loop.
"Wait, does my butt look like that when I transform?!" Goku pointed to a baboon currently presenting its swollen, red rump to the audience.
"Goku! Could you be appropriate and act like an adult for five seconds?!" Chi Chi chastised her husband's immaturity.
"Kakarot, you imbecile…"
"Hey monkey lady! What's with their butts?!" Goku called out to Simiya.
Everyone turned to look at the zookeeper, who was slack-jawed, staring at the group as she tried to process the conversation she had just witnessed.
"I… uh… they… wh-what were you all just talking about just now?"
Gohan spoke up instead, "Well some species of primates have calluses on their bottoms that make sitting more comfortable. Females also have swelling that shows fertility, and they use it to attract a mate by presenting their butt to a male's face…"
The group was silent as they absorbed that piece of information, everyone staring at Gohan who was bashfully looking away at the ground. Simiya cleared her throat, "That's uh, that's correct, young man."
Chi Chi continued to take notes, beaming proudly, "That's my Gohan! I guess reading all seven editions of that advanced biology textbook was worth it after all!"
Gohan continued staring at the ground, "No."
Their tour continued from there, Simiya still unnerved by how strange the Briefs and their companions seemed to be. The more she looked and listened to their little gang of friends, the weirder they became. Also, was that one guy green? How did she not notice that earlier?
The group eventually found themselves in a heated discussion about baboon hierarchies and social systems, when Bulma noticed Vegeta wandering away. She chased after him.
"Vegeta! Wait! Where are you going?" She caught up to the prince, who was looking his typical frustrated and conflicted self. He turned to the human.
"I'm leaving. I don't really know what made me decide to go on this little outing, but I realized it's been an enormous waste of my time."
Bulma couldn't help the pang of disappointment she felt, and pouted, "You're here to learn more about the planet so you're more prepared for your fight with the androids! …And also Goku."
"Ah yes, and so far I've learned that certain animals on this planet show each other their swollen asses in order to find a mate. I am sure that is just the key information I needed to be able to destroy the androids."
The blue-haired woman burst into a fit of laughter, "Wow, was that sarcasm Vegeta? You know, you're a lot funnier than you think you are." Bulma spent the next few seconds trying to suppress her giggling as Vegeta glared at her, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly. She turned and started walking away from him, talking over her shoulder, "Come with me- we can go look at something that might actually be helpful to you."
The prince hesitated before following the human.
Back with the rest of the group, Goku noticed the absence of the (hopefully) future couple, and interrupted Simiya's speech about yawning among primates, "Okay monkey lady, listen up. We're gonna need you to go into great detail about how those monkeys make babies, and we don't want you to leave any details out."
"A lot of these snakes and bugs are found in the Southern Continent and the islands surrounding it. That's probably where you'll be fighting. You don't want to lose a battle from a snake bite, do you?" Bulma peered into each exhibit lining the walls of the dim herpetarium, each one containing a reptile or amphibian of some sort. Vegeta followed her, analyzing each creature before scoffing at her words.
"I doubt anything native to this planet could take down a Saiyan like that."
"Other than the androids," Bulma muttered under her breath, recalling the warning of impending death that the boy from the future had brought to them. If Vegeta heard her, he neglected to respond, and the two continued through the building. They stopped to watch some baby dinosaurs sleeping in an enclosure.
"There's a lot of really threatening dinosaurs out there too. Though I don't think they will give you any issues either. Goku used to just play around with them like they were his friends. I'm pretty sure Gohan did the same when training under Piccolo." Bulma smiled gently at the memories that her and her oldest friend had while adventuring through the wilderness and searching for dragon balls.
"Why did you ask me to come with you today?"
Bulma shrugged, "I just want you to be prepared is all."
"Did you really think that bringing me here would help me?" the Saiyan pushed. The way that Vegeta asked wasn't accusatory; rather he seemed genuinely confused as to why he was invited along.
Bulma turned to continue through the exhibit, "Well I do think it's beneficial for you to know your battleground, but you're right to be suspicious. I really did want you to just come out and relax for a while. I like spending time together."
"Why?"
The scientist was quiet for a moment, putting her thoughts into order. "…You see my potential."
When she didn't continue, the Saiyan challenged her answer, "Woman, what the hell are you going on about? You have the strength of an insect. What potential do you think I see?"
Bulma stopped to look at a lizard basking under a heat lamp, "I remember when I first invited you to live here, you had demanded a gravity room like what Goku had on his way to Namek. Ever since then, you have expected improvements, repairs, armor- anything my dad and I could do to assist your training. And as much as I think you can be a big fat jerk about it, you've always expected me to outdo myself, even when I wasn't sure that I could." The heiress shrugged, suddenly taking an intense interest in her nails, "None of my other friends have really believed in me like that."
Vegeta felt his eye twitch, not expecting such a sincere answer, "Woman, I don't believe in you or care about your silly feelings. I'm not your friend. I just want to make myself more powerful."
Bulma looked up at him and winked, "Well you have no reason to lie, so I guess that makes it all the more genuine."
The prince opened his mouth to argue with that absurd idea when he felt the woman grasp at his arm. She stared ahead, petrified. Vegeta felt himself become alert and overly aware of his surroundings due to her sudden change in behavior. She gradually lifted a finger to an exhibit straight ahead.
"F… frog…"
"…What."
"That frog… it's so gross looking! It looks like the frog I became on Namek!"
Vegeta stared at the woman in front of him. It was official. She was as hysterical as her mother.
Noticing his confusion, Bulma explained, "That guy on Namek! He could switch bodies, remember? He tricked me and I was a frog for a while and it was awful! And a bunch of frogs kept chasing me all over the planet! It was the worst thing ever! Well, probably not as terrible as dying, but… it was still pretty bad!"
Vegeta started cackling, "You switched bodies with frog Ginyu? How did that even happen? How did you get back to normal?"
"I'll tell you about it later…" Bulma was apprehensive as she watched the Saiyan approach the frog, which had its back turned on the two. Vegeta smirked over his shoulder at her in his typical arrogant way.
"Be careful, woman, it has a power level on par with your own."
"I liked it better when you were just a jerk instead of a smartass jerk."
Vegeta turned back to look at the frog, which was spotted and had antennas. It did actually look similar to Ginyu when he had become an amphibian. The antennas twitched, the frog noticing it had company, so it turned around and looked up at Vegeta.
Hanging out of its mouth was a fat worm wriggling like crazy and covered in slime. One moment Vegeta was in front of Bulma and the next he had disappeared, only to grab her by the arm from behind.
"We're leaving."
Bulma blinked, startled by his sudden attitude, "Why? Is there something wrong?" The prince just shook his head and dragged the two out the door. Once they were outside, he took a deep breath and shuddered. "…You okay?"
The prince glared at her, "I think we're done here."
Bulma shrugged, "Let's head back to the others then. C'mon, I'll tell you all about Ginyu and being a frog."
"This saber-toothed tiger is a highly endangered species. It has been hunted by poachers to near extinction…" as Simiya chatted with her audience, Goku leaned over to whisper to Chi Chi.
"I think we might have eaten one of those for dinner the other night..."
"Shh."
Piccolo felt his ears twitch, hearing Bulma and Vegeta speaking as they returned to the group.
"You know, there's a story here on Earth about a guy that's turned into a frog and can only turn back into a human if a princess kisses him. Maybe if I didn't get my body back, you could have kissed me and saved me, Prince of all Saiyans."
"Woman, if I already find you repulsive as a human, what makes you think I would kiss you as a frog?"
"Jerk!" Bulma huffed and stomped away from him.
Piccolo didn't know what he should take away from that interaction- was Bulma trying to flirt with Vegeta just now? Why did he reject her advances? Where did they disappear to? I hate that I have to think about these kinds of things now…
Finally, the tour was over, and their little group was heading back to where they had first entered the zoo. Bulma trailed behind everyone, contemplating the surprisingly smooth trip to the zoo they had enjoyed together… and the time she had spent with Vegeta.
The scientist watched as Miri the monkey abandoned Goku and dashed over to Vegeta. To her surprise, the prince allowed the monkey to perch on his shoulder. Bulma couldn't help it as her heart soared- a bad boy being a softy to a tiny, innocent animal was just too precious for her.
Bulma then felt her soaring heart plummet out of her ass as the Saiyan grabbed the monkey by its tail and held it in front of his face. In a panic, she looked over at Simiya, who was drowning in a conversation with the highly outgoing Panchy. She quietly thanked her absentminded mother, before rushing over to the prince.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?! Put that monkey down!" Bulma hissed at Vegeta, who was having a staring contest with the primate.
"He left his tail out like a fool."
"He's a freaking monkey!"
Vegeta ignored her, "This animal seems important to this organization. I say take it as hostage until your family receives the money you are owed."
"…What?!"
"You granted this company a large sum of money and all they seemed to give in return was this dull excursion? That's unacceptable."
"Do Saiyans understand the concept of charity?! Wait- never mind, that's a stupid question."
Miri, who was getting agitated from being held upside down, reeled his arm back and slapped his captor across the face. Vegeta snarled and bared his teeth at the primate in response, but paused as the woman grabbed his wrist, looked him dead in the eye, and calmly began speaking.
"Vegeta- do you think that the main lab and my personal lab are the only two laboratories on Capsule Corporation's main compound? Because they're not – not even close. I have an elaborate network of workshops hidden throughout our property that only a select handful of the world's top scientists have access to. In one of these other labs we are close to developing something with the same properties as a senzu bean on steroids – it will be able to regrow missing limbs and everything. What I'm trying to say is that if you don't put that monkey down in five seconds, I promise you that I will use this invention to make you tail grow back, just so I can slowly cut it off again and wear it as a scarf around my neck like a trophy."
The Saiyan stared at her, looking somewhat stunned by her threat. He let go of the monkey, who fled the scene and back to his owner. Bulma crossed her arms.
"I know I'm not a fighter, and that I'm no threat to you in that regard, but I promise that if you ever jeopardize my family's good name, the androids will be the second biggest threat that you have ever faced." The human turned around and stomped away to catch up with the rest of her friends.
Vegeta watched her leave, unsure if anything she said was actually true. He had seen how clever the human was during his stay with her, and though she could never be a danger to him physically, he was certain that she was capable of bringing some harm to him if she tried.
The strange thing was, he didn't feel threatened, or like he had to eliminate her now. The prince didn't know what he was feeling.
He recalled a memory from years ago, when he and Raditz had only just reached adulthood. Trying to pass the time between missions, an entire station of Frieza's soldiers had organized a small tournament amongst each other. Raditz had been paired up with a Saiyan-like female, who absolutely crushed him in the battle before walking away in disgust at her opponent's weakness. Instead of the low-class warrior retreating back to their group to tend to his shattered pride, he chased after her like a fool with his tail wagging behind him.
"What's that idiot doing?" Vegeta had questioned Nappa, who howled with laughter at his subordinate's behavior.
"Going to try to get lucky, I guess."
The prince remained stunned by the other man's actions, "What?! What the hell happened between now and the start of the fight?!"
"Vegeta, you know Saiyans are attracted to danger. We seek a mate like we seek a battle- the deadlier the better. I guess his opponent slapped him hard… both figuratively and literally."
Later that night the low-level Saiyan came crawling back to their living quarters with his tail between his legs, reeking of rejection. Vegeta was thankful that he personally never experienced such useless emotions. Being amongst the strongest in Frieza's army, there were few who could challenge him in strength, and those who did typically looked something like Dodoria.
Vegeta quickly brushed the thoughts to the side. The only emotion he had for the woman was indifference. He tolerated her insubordinate behavior in exchange of her scientific genius. Sure, the female wasn't unattractive, but she was still human and still a weakling. Even considering such thoughts was an insult to his Saiyan pride. Cursing his mind and his instincts, he decided he had had enough and took off into the sky to go train and suppress such absurd ideas, uncaring if any human saw him.
Simiya guided her group to the exit. After saying their goodbyes and thanking one another, she watched as they pulled away from the zoo. A coworker joined her.
"So, how did it go?"
The zookeeper thought of the best way to summarize their visit.
"…They had me talk about- and I quote- "How baboons pick up women," for 30 minutes, before the Briefs promised a new large donation of zeni coming soon and then leaving…"