It has been a while since I last posted... sorry about that but creativity comes in waves and I am easily distracted so it might well happen again... hopefully I can finish this story arc before it does but the only way to find out is for me to get writing and see what happens.
T'Leiarel was surprised when Spock showed up with pancakes, they were the first thing she had eaten when she arrived on Earth, the first taste of freedom, and perhaps her last. These weren't exactly the same, those had been thinner and flatter, English style, while these were fluffy and American but they were still in many ways exactly what she had been dreaming about, literally. It was very strange that she would have dreamed of first arriving on Earth and feeling so overwhelmed and stumbling into that pancake shop, only for Spock to be there, and he then showed up with the same dish. But coincidences happened all the time right?
She had been dreaming of him a lot recently, but then she'd been thinking about the time, and about the dreams that came with it and he was the only vulcan, or half vulcan really, who had never made her feel like she was a disappointment for being herself... of course part of that might have been that they had barely spoken before now. He had seen her smile and laugh and frown and not been disgusted by it, as far as she could tell.
There was no use thinking about it though. Today he would still see the priestess, move through his time and move forward to his career in Starfleet, without the urges making him want to spend time around her. It was just the hormones between them, on his side at least. She could at least admit to herself that she might have an interest in the man of two worlds, the hero who had fought for both of those worlds... But the dashing version splashed across the data streams or the vulnerable and emotional Spock who she had been helping over the last day, neither of those were the truth of who he was. Soon he would go back to that science officer, and she would have to be prepared for that. If she survived long enough for that to be a concern, which was FAR from certain.
As the ship dropped out of warp T'Leiarel found herself drifting over to the window to look down at the planet below. It had its own kind of bleak beauty, but the dusty browns and golds were nothing like the greens and blues she had come to value on Earth. A few small lakes glittered like jewels scattered across the surface, but it was a planet defined in sand not water, dry and harsh. Even with the choice of dozens of worlds the Vulcans had chosen to stay close to the stark necessity of their homeworld without the excess and abundance they could have sought out. The absence of distraction must help with honing a mind of purity and logic she supposed. It was not for her.
Spock said nothing as they looked at the planet together. He didn't need to touch her to feel her need for this quiet moment of contemplation. So many of their people had consolidated together here, had made it their home, but both of them knew what it was to be unwelcome. He wasn't sure what he could do to soften that, as much as he wanted to. He was about to reach out, not sure whether it was to reassure himself that she was able to handle the emotions she must be feeling or to attempt to soothe her in some way, when he was stopped by an incoming message from the bridge.
"As you're probably aware, we're in orbit around Vulcan. Your brother has messaged us as soon as we came out of warp to see when we can get you down there on the shuttle pod. Apparently he's decided the wedding is in just over an hour and wants as much time as possible to get you presentable..." Kirk's tone showed his emotional response to her brother's words. Spock's frown was likewise clear in its disapproval. "Spock's father has also sent a message to say he's anticipating his son's arrival, and something about having made preparations? He was pretty cryptic about what for... are you planning on going to T'Leiarel's wedding Spock? Or is it something else."
Spock took a deep breath, trying to decide what to say. He wanted to be there, he wanted to stop it, to help her to stop it, but she had not invited him and it was not his place. He wasn't family, he wasn't her chosen champion, he was just someone drawn to her by the power of his urges. He certainly couldn't bear to tell the Captain what his father had made preparations for, the meditation and exercises to overcome the drives he could not face alone, the melding and the rigor of logic enforced over his emotional turmoil.
"Something else." He said finally, though it was clearly not as specific as the Captain had been hoping.
"I was wondering if Dr McCoy and Lieutenant Uhura could be spared from their duties? They seemed interested in Vulcan traditions. I no longer have much family, and while I am sure my brother will have invited the people he wants to be there, I wouldn't mind some company myself." Spock felt an ache at the reminder he had not been invited, it was mitigated slightly by the amusement that neither had Kirk. "It's not often such private ceremonies are opened to outsiders, but honestly I would be happy to have them there simply to annoy my brother, the fact that they seem like interesting people who might enjoy it is very much a bonus." Spock wondered if Kirk would ask, as he had told him to.
"So... you wouldn't happen to mind an extra guest... would you?" Well that answered that. T'Leiarel smiled, the amusement breaking through the dread.
"You are very welcome to come as well Captain, if your duties permit? I will warn you my plan is to disrupt things, but it should be quite the show..." T'Leiarel turned back to the window briskly, leaving Spock to the call.
"Thank you for the information. We will make our way to the shuttle bay." He ended it before the Captain could respond. This time he didn't keep his hand from resting on her shoulder, though it was covered by fabric and he could sense nothing... he wanted to but it would be such an invasion at this point, with the likely turmoil and with her unable to control it. He didn't have to wonder if his intended comfort was received though as she turned abruptly and unexpectedly embraced him, her cheek resting against his shoulder. His arms closed around her without thought. "You do not have to go." He so wanted her to say that she would stay here, with him.
"You know that's not true." It was final, decided, weighty with acceptance. She was right, but he wanted to argue, or at the very least wanted to be there for her, to fight for her. Who could she turn to? Her brother?
"I can wait until after the wedding to meet with the priestess. If you wanted me to be there?" He offered. T'Leiarel let out a deep breath. She wanted it, but at the same time she didn't want him to have to see it, the very brutality of their customs she wanted outsiders to see, to judge, she didn't want to inflict on one who knew them too well, the pain of them too familiar. Also the longer he waited the harder it would be to resolve his problems. She shook her head, though she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye as she did so, still held against him so that he felt the refusal more than saw it.
"You need to take care of your own needs before worrying about me. Being there, around another man experiencing the time, will only bring it out of you more." It hurt to be turned away, but there was logic in it, even as he wanted her to put logic aside, to let him support her, and protect her... though that was more evidence of his urges, to care this much about her, he would want to protect her anyway but the depth of it was stemming from and feeding into his time. Being around her both managing his behaviour and exacerbating the cause of it, the emotional turmoil. "I'm not going to pretend I don't want you there, but I would prefer that you meet with the priestess." She pulled away, he let her go reluctantly.
They set off to the shuttle bay.