Special
Chikorita-Trainer1
T
Disclaimer: I don't own Batman.

Author's note: As someone who is virtually powerless in her family (being the youngest and not independent), I know how it feels to have family members constantly making decisions that affect you, without consulting you or even taking your feelings into consideration, whether you're entitled to it or not. This is my imagining of Damian's reaction to Helena.

"Bruce, talk to your son," said Dick.

"He doesn't want to hear from me. He's mad at me," said Bruce. "And I understand why."

"I love how you say that like you're respecting his boundaries, when really you're just avoiding emotional confrontation," said Barbara.

Jason and Dick snickered behind their hands.

"It IS a perfectly normal reaction to a pregnancy," said Tim. "It's unexpected, unplanned, abrupt and it changes things."

"It doesn't change the one thing he thinks it changes," said Bruce. "We all know what he's worried about."

"Yeah. Being replaced," said Jason. "We've all been there, and we've all gotten over it."

"That doesn't mean you get to cop out of being a father," Barbara said to Bruce.

"I'm not avoiding anything," Bruce denied. "I just know when a situation isn't fixable."

"Uh-huh," said Barbara.

Ever since Bruce and Selina had announced their pregnancy, Damian had been almost catatonic. He wouldn't talk or eat, and while he could move of his own accord, didn't seem to be responding to any stimuli around him, and it was worrying the family.

Everyone assumed he was angry about a new baby in the family, as any child would be, getting word of such a thing with no warning. But he wasn't expressing anger the way he normally would, and that was even more disturbing. At the moment, the thirteen-year-old was in his room, lying on his bed, and no one knew if he was crying or not.

"He just needs time to get used to it. He's got another like, what? Eight months?" said Dick.

"That's a pretty naïve assumption," said Barbara. "Not everything gets better with time. He feels betrayed, and I don't blame him. Especially since Selina told him to his face that she didn't think she should have a kid."

"A woman is allowed to change her mind," said Bruce. "He's got to learn that the world doesn't revolve around him."

"Bruce, that is SO MEAN, and UNFAIR!" said Barbara. "You can't just decide that all of his negative reactions to things are his fault, and are him being selfish. People have FEELINGS, and they're valid!"

"I'm not invalidating my son's feelings!" Bruce argued. "But I'm also not eager to bring a baby into this family if THIS is how he's going to behave when it gets here!"

"You know what? I'll go," said Tim.

"WHAT?!" said everyone, collectively.

"I'll talk to him. I think I know how to handle this," said Tim. The rest of the family members nodded and parted, so that Tim could walk through them to Damian's room.

The teen entered, and while the room was brightly lit from the overhead light, Damian was indeed still lying on his side on his bed, not really acknowledging anything. Tim shut the door and walked over to the bed, and sat down.

"Hey," he said. Damian blinked. "It was a shock, wasn't it?"

Damian nodded.

"Yeah. I know. And you're all mixed up and don't know how to feel, huh?"

Damian nodded and Tim saw tears in his eyes.

"You know, it doesn't change anything," said Tim.

"Yes, it does!" cried Damian. The first words he had spoken in a few days.

"What does it change?" asked Tim. Not contradicting Damian, but rather validating his feelings by allowing him to explain himself.

"It negates me," said Damian, his voice cracking with tears.

"How?"

"I'm Father's only real child!" cried Damian, sitting up and looking at Tim. "That's what makes me who I am! You're all adopted, but I'm the only one who actually has the Batman's blood flowing through my veins! And now I won't be!"

"So? Now you'll have someone else to share the burden with," Tim suggested.

"I DON'T WANT TO SHARE IT!" Damian shouted, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I WANT IT ALL TO MYSELF! I WANT TO BE FATHER'S ONLY BLOOD CHILD! I LIKE IT! I LIKE THAT ABOUT MYSELF! AND NOW SOMEONE IS TAKING THAT AWAY FROM ME!"

Tim exhaled slowly and looked down. He hadn't known that so much of Damian's identity was his genetics.

"I understand, Damian," he said gently.

"You can't understand! You're not Father's real son!" Damian cried. Tim took no offense in this statement, because he knew what Damian meant, and it wasn't meant to be hurtful, like Damian usually meant it when he threw that in Tim's face.

"Kon used to be like that, too," said Tim. "When we first joined the Teen Titans, I got an email from Luthor (though we didn't know at the time it was him who sent it), of a file with Kon's DNA structure, and it showed he was half-Superman, half-Lex Luthor. And he was in denial about it at first, and he told me not to do a test or tell Batman or anybody. He said "My genetics is who I am, and right now it's all I have.""

Damian sniffed and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "So?"

"So you're not the first person to feel like their entire identity is what they PHYSICALLY are," said Tim. "But just because you feel like this now, doesn't mean you'll feel like that forever. You can get through this. It's a shock, and it's a disruption of your world, but you'll get through it."

"How am I supposed to 'get through' having my SELF ripped away from me?!" Damian shouted. "Being Father's only blood child was the only thing that separated me from the rest of you! It was the only thing that made me special! Without it, I'm nobody!"

Tim's eyebrows raised and he watched pitifully as Damian broke down and sobbed.

"It means I'm not special," he cried softly.

"Dami," said Tim, leaning forward and touching his little brother's shoulder. "Of course you're special. Do you really think your blood is all you're worth?"

"That's the only reason I'm here," Damian sobbed.

"No, it's not!" cried Tim. "You're here because Bruce loves you and wants you here."

"BECAUSE I'M HIS SON! BECAUSE HE HAS AN OBLIGATION TO TAKE CARE OF ME!" yelled Damian.

"No! No, no, no. Damian, come on," Tim insisted. He scooched forward on the bed and took his little brother into his arms. "You can't possibly still think that. What more does Bruce have to do? How can you still not know how much he loves you?"

"He could take me into account before he makes his decisions!" Damian complained. "He obviously didn't think of ANY OF US before he…conceived!"

"He doesn't have to, you know," said Tim. "He and Selina are both adults, they can do whatever they want."

"You asked what he had to do! That's my answer!" Damian shouted, is face muffled in Tim's shoulder. "He didn't THINK about me, or any of us! Now everything's screwed up! He didn't think of me! He never thinks of me!"

"Alright. Alright, I hear you," Tim said as he rubbed Damian's back. "That's actually a good point. He has this huge extended family and a bunch of kids, but he still doesn't treat us as equals. That sucks, I admit it. It sucks being left out of the loop."

"It's ALL he ever does," Damian mumbled. Tim chuckled.

"True. But what's done is done. We're going to have a new baby in the family. And think of it this way: this baby, a combination of both Bruce and Selina, it's like a symbol of their union. It's going to be his first baby made with the woman he loves, and the baby gets to be like, the glue that holds them together."

"Again, this is taking something AWAY FROM ME!" growled Damian, pushing himself away from Tim. "I used to be Father's only blood child. That was MY thing. That was ME. That's what made me special! Now, I don't have that one thing all to myself anymore! So what am I? Who am I? What makes me special?"

Tim truly hurt for the boy in front of him. He knew what it felt like to be replaced with no consultation; Dick had done it to him when he made Damian Robin. And Tim had hated Dick for it, had hated Damian for it, and had hated himself for whatever he might have done or not done for Dick to make a decision like that.

Everything that Damian was feeling, Tim had felt at one point or another.

"I understand what you're saying, D. I really do," said Tim. "I know exactly how you feel, because you made me feel that way, too."

Damian sniffed and looked up at Tim.

"I loved being Dick's little brother. His only little brother, until Jason came back, anyway. But when you came along, you stole that from me. And you didn't even realize you were doing it. You took my job as Robin, you took Dick away from me, you even took Bruce's attention off me, and I felt like nothing. Like everything that made me fit into this family suddenly didn't matter. I was the youngest, the smartest, and then…all that just disappeared. I get it, Damian."

Damian avoided meeting Tim's eyes, out of guilt, Tim assumed.

"But I got over it."

Damian looked up.

"I got over it, I got used to it, I got used to YOU. You and I don't fight as much as we used to, right? Time passed and things got better. If I can get through all that, you can get past these feelings."

Damian sniffed and blinked back some more tears.

"And you are so much more than your blood," Tim continued. "You were raised by assassins, indoctrinated in every fiber of your being to kill without remorse. But you overcame that. You can hack into any system, you can take down guys ten times your size, and you can tame any beast on Earth. You had the world on a platter and you still chose to be a part of it rather than rule it. You've resisted temptation very few people could, and you continue to do it every day."

Damian smiled.

"You're the most annoying, irritating, insufferable little brat that ever was, and you are loved by this entire family. THAT'S pretty amazing if you ask me."

Damian giggled.

"That's what makes you special, Damian. Not the blood in your veins or the genes in your body. You. YOU are special. Because you're you. There's only one Damian Wayne. Well, actually there are infinite versions of you on multiple earths, but you're the only one we've got right here," Tim added.

Damian sighed, but his breath still shook.

"I suppose," he croaked out.

"Everything you're feeling is valid, and it's OK," said Tim. "But you won't feel this way forever. It's going to be alright."

"I never asked to be a big brother," Damian mumbled.

"Yeah, neither did I," said Tim. "But I wouldn't change it."

Damian looked up tearfully at Tim, and the two brothers embraced.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, Dick was listening in by holding a glass to his ear and pressing the open end of it into the door.

"We have a Cave full of high-tech surveillance equipment and THIS is what you've resorted to?!" hissed Barbara, who was leaning in right next to Dick.

"Shush! I think they're bonding!" said Dick.

"And you're going to ruin the moment if you don't get away from there!" Barbara whispered back.

"You're welcome to leave anytime, Raggedy Ann!" Dick taunted.

"Raggedy-? Oh, fuck you, Dickhead!"

"AAAAAGHHHH!" cried Dick as he suddenly fell into the room as the door was opened.

"What the hell? Were you spying on us with a glass?!" said Tim, looking down at his big brother and sister.

"HE was," said Barbara, picking herself up.

"If it makes you feel any better, I couldn't decipher a thing," said Dick. "But I know you must have done something right, since you got Damian to at least talk. Like, I heard sounds, but no coherent words."

"OK, everybody leave, please," said Tim, closing Damian's bedroom door behind him. Barbara walked away but Dick stayed, looking prouder than he ever had in his life.

"Is he OK?"

"He's fine. He just needed to talk some things out."

"Aw, Timmy. You're such a good brother," Dick cooed.

"Well, I learned from the best," Tim said automatically. Dick squealed and hugged him.

"Can't wait 'til we get to meet our new brother or sister!"

"I definitely can. And so can Damian," said Tim.

"I know, but it's going to be so cute!"

Later on, Tim went down to the Cave to tell Bruce what Damian had told him. Bruce felt ashamed that he didn't realize his son's feelings sooner.

"I never thought of it like that," he said. "But that does make sense."

"You've got to make sure he knows you love him, Bruce," said Tim. "He's really insecure."

"After living here for three years? After all I've done for him, he still doubts me."

"He knows you'll take great action for him, Bruce. But will you take inaction for him?" said Tim.

"What do you mean?"

"He's mostly, at the core of it, mad that you did something without thinking of him. He's mad that you and Selina conceived a child without one thought to how it would make him feel. What you did with Selina was an action. He needs to know that there are times in which you will not act, for his sake."

"You mean NOT have sex," said Bruce.

"I mean whatever he means," said Tim. "Bruce, sometimes the only thing a child needs is for their parent to just be. It's not about the lengths you'll go to, it's about how close you'll stay. He might just need you to be around him more. To just be there. He doesn't need you to do THINGS for him, he needs you to just be."

Bruce sighed. It wasn't going to be easy for him to do less, but he knew it was going to have to be that way now, with a baby on the way. He'd have to be home more, and in the field less.

"I suppose you're right, Tim. As usual."

Tim beamed.

"And for the record, the rest of us are really getting tired of being your emotional coaches. You really need to figure this shit out by yourself."

"I know, I know," Bruce agreed. "But I'll still take all the help I can get."

THE END
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