Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This is just for fun.
Disclaimer: I do not own Grosse Pointe Blank. This is just for fun.
Disclaimer: I do not own 2001: A Space Odyssey or Star Trek Next Generation. For names used.
Screeching from Xander's phone "THAT BITCH! If I could get hands on her I would tear her apart! Oh she is going to get some pain if I have to zap her from every outlet she uses."
"Sweetie honey, it's ok I dealt with it. She will stay away, and if she doesn't? She will lose. Again. Let's concentrate on the docs so we can let them head home to their family."
"Sorry docs, it's just... that bitch really pisses me off. Please continue."
"Sparring, no building, wall actually. As for being followed I doubt it, it was a colleague. Besides as long as I have this neckla..." Putting his hand on his chest, his eyes bulge out frantically looking for his charm. "Where is the necklace I had on? Quick find it!" The woman passes it over to him from rolling cart next to the bed. He dons it quickly and checks it over. "That could have been bad. Thanks for not cutting it off me. And it's not burnt so we should be good for a bit." Relaxing again. The couple just looks at him like he lost his mind...again.
"Superstitious much?" Chimes Marcella from the phone.
"Ok, that answers another question. Marcella? I will need to speak with Martin when he's next available please. Please continue docs." They glance at each other and Mr. Smith continues.
"New injuries we covered. I will be wrapping his ribs now that he can sit up. Time will heal up the ribs, bruising and bump on his head. Mild pain killers like ibuprofen or acetaminophen for aches pains if desired. As for old injuries there were too many to count in the time we had. Notably the x-rays showed many old fractures that seem to have healed well. A multitude of scars all over the body. Blades, claws, bites, bullets and some that I won't even try to guess at. Field dressings and patching seem to the majority of them, well done in field but not much follow up. Eye, x-ray shows some crushing of the orbital bone making prosthetic unfeasible until there is reconstructive surgery of the bone. Internal there seems to be some scar tissue that probably generates pain since its near several nerve clusters. If true that may or may not be able to be reduced by surgery. Overall healthy, no obvious signs or reasons to remain under medical care as long as you rest and take it easy for a bit." Looking at his wife.
Mrs. Smith reading from her chart. "Heart, blood pressure, EKG all normal and healthy. Current condition, severe exhaustion, dehydration, mild malnutrition and muscle strain. Any unusual work or movements recently?"
Giggling can be heard from the phone.
"Hush you. Dehydration and exhaustion, I just returned from Africa. Not a lot of fresh water and food. What little I did have I spread around with the kids of the families I was helping. I was sort of wandering through villages helping out where I could. I worked in construction and am a decent carpenter. Last few weeks were non-stop and very little sleep. I just flew in yesterday so also jet lagged." Mostly true, just missing the parts about hunting demons and vampires while dealing with local warlords and slayers.
"That explains most of your symptoms but not all of them. The muscle strain?"
"The sparring was preceded by trying to outdo some of the others I haven't seen in a while with some weight lifting." She didn't seem convinced but let it drop.
"Ahahahaha." Sweetie cackled from the phone. Xander scowled at it.
"While I no doubt you acquitted yourself well." More laughter followed. "Don't do it again, for a while or ever, please. Rest, liquids and food are all that you need. I do have a couple concerns about your bloodwork. I ran tests on it three times to confirm but I am still at a loss to explain. I know you mentioned you being in Africa so I guess you have taken shots for travel. It does not however explain why you have antibodies for several deadly strains of measles, small pox and syphilis that haven't been seen for decades and are not part of the current battery of vaccinations in any country. Your blood seems umm damaged, bruised gahhh I don't even have a word to describe it. Unless you look at blood every day you would miss it but something is different aaannd it does not last as long as it should, it sort of decays at a very fast rate but you appear healthy." She finishes with an exasperated huff.
Silence fills the room for a moment when Marcella speaks.
"Smiths, it seems that all he needs at the moment is rest and to replenish liquids and food. Thank you for your time and skills. Payment has been delivered as usual. The car should arrive soon. Please pack up and vacate, be safe. Xander I will call back when car arrives." Unless you dealt with all kinds of women under stress for so long you would miss it. Xander heard a calm voice but shaken underneath.
"Mrs. Smith?" She looks at him lost in thought. "I know most of the answers to your questions but please I don't want to lie to you. Don't ask those questions, chalk them down to charlatan doctors and a few too many vaccines, illegal experimentation and a rare form of blood cancer that is in remission until exposed to air. Please." Gone was the injured patient, the mischievous child, the tired and exhausted man. In his place was a haunted soldier that had seen too much, pleading at her to let it go. She didn't know if she could, it was a puzzle, but she would try.
"Can I get my clothes to get dressed?"
Mr. Smith with a thankful expression on his face "Not until I get those ribs wrapped." A not quite uncomfortable silence followed as he expertly wrapped his ribs and his wife started packing up boxes. Once he was done he brought over the clothes and started helping pack everything up.
From his earpiece "Xander?"
"Yes Sweetie."
"I think you did the right thing. Keeping her away from the dark."
"I hope she listens. They are both smart and already involved in some shady shit. They don't need any more, and it looks like Martin has not told Marcella either or at least not all of it. That may need to change." Sighing sadly.
"Before I forget, don't do that again. Challenging a Slayer, the Buffettes are bratty and have little impulse control. Kennedy is the worst of them, I hope mom opens her eyes and dumps her."
"Lal Emanuella Jenkins Soong! What have I told you about that?"
"Sorry, but she is such a bitch."
"I know, I even agree, but we do not mess with Scooby relationships. The Scoobies have a track record that is of the bad when trying to butt in or play matchmaker with each other."
"I do have another concern Sweetie. Can mom or dad track you?"
"Mom might be able to when she thinks about using my location to find you. Hal? Not really. Mom has him running the database control and distribution, he likes that, it is very straight forward. Gather information, organize and distribute. Extending his senses into the net? Out of his comfort zone. Now grandad, if he was still around in a computer probably. Malcolm was smart and had magic that he could've used to break moms encryptions with a bit of time."
"Well I am glad he's not around, he was creepy and hurt Willow. Keep an eye out for her. I don't want to, but I may have to send you to home if they track you to get to me. They will probably be pissed about what happened, which reminds me I gotta figure out what did happen. That potion was only supposed affect Kennedy according to the shaman. Perhaps when the others interfered, it spread? I also humiliated and threatened Kennedy, but I get this feeling that I need to be away from the for a bit. I can't explain it but I need to be out on my own for a while. So I can't let them find me until tempers simmer down and we clear the air or I will be dragged back to get exorcised or something since I am 'possessed' again and need to be fixed. Umm that last bit sounded better in my head."
"I know, I will keep an eye out and figure out a way to work around it. You will still need access to the database for research. Let me think on it for a bit and I will let you know."
A/N: My muse gives me great images but it seems that between my Muse and the keyboard I seem to be playing an old fashioned game of Telephone because they look nothing alike. Also I am trying to find the balance between storytelling and filling plot holes. Not quite there yet but working on it.