II - Glaz/Kapkan ending

Fifteen minutes later, after refusing yet again going to Doc, Kapkan sequestered himself in the Spetsnaz dorms, shedding away his muddy and soaked Gorka before wrapping a blanket around his shoulders and sitting down to think. He felt tired, not just from training but on an intangible level as well. If he listened to his most selfish thoughts, he'd hide under the blanket and sleep for days. It was a tempting idea, especially taking into account how little he slept lately, always waking up in the middle of the night and taking ages to fall asleep again. Perhaps that was why he was struggling to keep up.

Kapkan knew it was the most probable reason, and that he just needed to stop pressuring himself so much, yet another part of him thought that explanation was a little too convenient. Maybe he was just desperately grasping at straws to not admit he was just not doing enough, that he was growing soft and complacent. The sunny day outside was at odds with his increasingly dark mood, but to Kapkan it was just a reminder of how the world tried to appear less shitty than it really was.

The door of the dorms opened but Kapkan ignored it. Whoever it was, they were just observing him in silence, but Kapkan didn't feel like saying anything. "A little bird told me you were probably moping in your room, seems he was right."

Must have been Bandit, the bastard couldn't keep his mouth shut and let Kapkan be. He didn't turn around to talk to Glaz, still staring through the window at nothing in particular as he said tiredly, "I'm not moping."

"That's not what it looks like," Glaz's voice was light and joking, yet when Kapkan didn't answer him, he got closer. "Maxim?"

He turned around to look at him, sighing despondently, but before he could ask Glaz what the hell he wanted, the sniper's hand was on Kapkan's face. The palm cradled his jaw and the thumb softly caressed the edges of the bruise around his eye. Kapkan closed both of them, unable to look at Glaz's face right now, not while he was touching him so gently. It brought up too many emotions, and he didn't even know what some of them were.

"Are you okay?"

Glaz was so close, he could smell that stupid aftershave the sniper started to use just because Kapkan said he liked it. Any other day, he would have closed the small distance between them and kissed him, but today Kapkan turned his face to the side, away from Glaz's comforting touch. "I'm fine."

Silence. He had the inkling that Glaz didn't believe him. The sniper's usually soothing presence was agitating Kapkan more instead. "You've been acting odd lately."

"I said I'm fine," Kapkan hissed, glaring at Glaz as if defying him to contradict him again.

The sniper crossed his arms, not backing down. "I know you're barely sleeping and yet you push yourself harder than ever. And you've been closed off and avoiding to spend time with Dominic and Jordan and Sasha… and me."

Kapkan was still holding Glaz's gaze defiantly, but the sheer concern in his lover's face broke his anger, turning it into guilt instead. Glaz sat down on the bed, next to him, and grabbed his hand. "Let me help you. Please."

Every psychology book ever agreed that opening up and sharing his burdens would be good for him, but Kapkan wasn't even sure how to articulate his vague worries and general sense of unease. He opened his mouth then closed it again, trying to find the right words and failing. It was silly, nothing he should bother Glaz with, but the sniper hadn't left yet, despite Kapkan's continued silence. It would be companionable, if it wasn't for how oppressive it felt, so unlike the easy silences they shared other times. Desperate to say something, because he knew Glaz was waiting for an explanation that was most likely not coming, Kapkan said the first thing that crossed his mind.

"The Beslan anniversary is in three days, did you know?" The realisation hit him harder than Sledge's hammer. Fuck. The reason for his troubles sleeping and being focused had been on the back of his mind all this time, yet he didn't notice until now. "Some years I... it just hits me unexpectedly, that's all."

Glaz dragged the hunter close and enveloped him in a tight hug, rubbing his back comfortingly. Kapkan instinctively closed his eyes and relaxed, shifting slightly so they were pressed even closer. He could feel Glaz's heartbeat faintly against his chest and for a moment he felt calm and in peace.

"It will pass, and you'll get through it." That was true, but knowing something not always translated into making him feel better. However, hearing Glaz whisper the words against his skin with so much conviction made Kapkan smile a little.

"What would I do without you."

"Well, you'd still be brooding."

Kapkan backed away from the hug just enough to look at Glaz. He hadn't been joking, and something in his expression gave him away, since Glaz sighed.

"I know. Just don't shut me out like this next time," Glaz brought up one of his hands to hold the back of Kapkan's neck, then he kissed him. It was a quick press of their lips, innocent yet filled with so much emotion. It was over as quickly as it began, Glaz resting their foreheads together. "I only want to see you happy, love."

Unable to trust his voice and feeling an uncomfortable knot in his chest, Kapkan nodded before crashing against Glaz in a hug again. There was something about being held by Glaz that eased all those troublesome thoughts plaguing his mind, and Glaz seemed more than happy to provide.

"Why is your telnyashka damp?" Glaz's hands were under the blanket covering him, and while the contact of his hands on Kapkan's skin was more than welcome, it appeared Glaz had some questions.

"It's a long story…"