III - Tachanka/Kapkan ending
After a nice, warm shower, his body didn't ache as badly, except for his face. However, none of his physical discomforts was worrying Kapkan. It was his dismal performance. No matter how hard he tried, Kapkan could have sworn he was doing worse and worse with each passing day.
It didn't help that he was constantly tired, day after day, struggling to keep up with whatever was going on around him. Kapkan was sure he would feel much better after a good night's rest, if he could get one. Lately he barely slept more than three or four hours each night, the rest of the time he lay there looking at the ceiling and being angry at himself for failing even at something so easy as sleeping. How could he be part of an elite counterterrorist group if he couldn't even keep properly awake and alert during the day? There was this kind of haze keeping him apart from everything else, dulling his senses. If this kept up soon he'd be worse than Jackal.
He knew most people would have confided in a friend, or even with their doctor, about the situation. However, Kapkan did not. It was a minor thing, not worth bothering any of his friends and teammates with how he couldn't sleep much for the last days. It was nothing special. Besides, if Harry got wind of that he would insist on Kapkan visiting Doc and that was a hassle he wanted to avoid, same as getting sleeping meds. He didn't want to rely on some pills just to take a nap.
After a perceived eternity, he finally reached the Spetsnaz dorms. Kapkan wasn't sure of what he wanted to do, he just knew he wanted to be alone. Unfortunately, his plans were doomed from the start.
"There you are!" Tachanka greeted him enthusiastically. Any of the warmth he normally felt upon seeing the older defender was... not absent, but severely muted. Tachanka didn't seem to notice his lack of enthusiasm. "What happened to your face?"
"The training match was a mess," Kapkan sighed, sitting down on his bed.
"That explains the long face. C'mon, Lera brought kvass and she, the boys, and Flament are playing cards in the rec room."
"I'm tired, Sasha," Kapkan rubbed his face, only to suck in a pained breath when he touched the tender area around the eye. "I'll stay here."
Wrong answer. Instead of letting him be, Tachanka stared at Kapkan like he was a rare specimen he wanted to study. "What's going on with you, Maxim? Lately all you've done is brood, train until you're about to pass out, and avoid people."
It was a perfectly normal question. In fact, if the situation was reversed, Kapkan would ask the same, he knew that. And yet he bristled at what he perceived to be either an invasive question or, worse, an accusation.
"I. Don't. Brood," Kapkan spat out with disdain. "I'm perfectly fine! Or I would be if people stopped asking me constantly what the fuck is wrong with me!"
He should have known Tachanka wouldn't be impressed nor cowed by his outburst. "Cut the crap princess. We've been partners for years before we even started fucking, I know when you're lying."
"Why do you always have to push and push, huh? Maybe I just want some peace because you keep bothering me, did you think about that?"
The regret was instantaneous. He hadn't meant any of that, but the words hung heavy between them. For a terrible moment he thought Tachanka would do exactly that, turn around and leave. The idea only made Kapkan more anxious than he already was, although he couldn't pinpoint why. An unbearable silence stretched between them, but thankfully Tachanka remained right there in front of him. Waiting for an explanation, or perhaps an apology.
Kapkan remained shamefully tongue tied, struggling to find what he wanted to say. He never meant to pick up a fight with Tachanka, and despite his actions, he desperately wanted the other man to stay by his side.
"You said you're tired, yes?" Latching onto that explanation like a lifeline, Kapkan nodded sheepishly. "You're always more of an asshole when you're cranky and tired."
That was well deserved. Tachanka didn't look angry at him though, and he lay down on the bed, sideways, patting the small empty space next to him. "Come."
Hesitating only for a moment, Kapkan crawled next to him, wanting to show Tachanka he wasn't cross with him despite what he previously said. Tachanka's arms curled over him, blanketing Kapkan from the rest of the world and bringing him closer to Tachanka's chest. He felt safe, and for the first time in days, the hunter allowed himself to relax.
Tachanka ran his fingers gently over Kapkan's cheek, the rough and warm feeling of the digits on his skin making Kapkan close his eyes in bliss. Tachanka's thumb traced invisible lines around the side of his face and neck, up and down, and Kapkan forgot why he had been so angry and ready to fight before. He was a fool, fucking up at the match wasn't enough, he seemed intent on trying to fuck up the best thing that happened to him too.
"I'm not mad at you, Sasha. I don't know why I said that." Kapkan burrowed closer to Tachanka's chest, as if he was trying to hide. "I don't even know why I'm so angry all the time."
"It's almost September," Tachanka said, as if that explained anything. Kapkan made a questioning noise, waiting for Tachanka to elaborate, since the soft caresses on his face had effectively shut down his brain. "You always get moody around September. Used to be worse when we first met, and the last two years it was barely noticeable, but..."
Oh. Was it really so simple? He was an idiot for not having realised sooner. "The Beslan anniversary is in three days."
He had an inkling that Tachanka already knew that. As all answer, Tachanka moved his arm to put it under the hunter's neck, as if it was a pillow. In this position, the tip of his nose brushed against Kapkan's hairline, and the kiss on his forehead was unbearably tender. It felt like a blessing.
"Get some sleep, princess, I know you spend most of the nights awake and you need your beauty rest."
Kapkan didn't protest, not at the commanding tone nor at the use of the accursed pet name. All he felt was immense relief, and the comfort of having Tachanka wrapped around him was actually quite helpful for making his jumbled thoughts calm down. Besides, Tachanka was right. And if he couldn't fall asleep, spending time in Tachanka's arms was the next best thing, or perhaps even better.