Sulu seems happy to see him and they spend time kind of like they always had. They're watching another American classic, Independence Day, and Sulu's giving him a whole rundown of people's view of aliens at the time and how the movie was an impressive feat for its time. Pavel enjoys listening to him and just sitting beside him and talking. It's so clam and simple and the whole world just disappears around him.
Quite a few movies later it's getting late and Pavel starts falling asleep on the couch. He's so warm and happy and Sulu smiles at him from the other side of the lounge. It seems a shame to wake him but he has to either get the Russian to bed here or back at his dorm. He nudges Pavel's side and he yawns sleepy and it makes Sulu's heart melt.
"Mmmmm sorry I fell asleep," He says quietly, rubbing his eyes. "It's so warm in here," he laughs.
Sulu smiles. "You should get to bed. You're welcome to sleep in your room or with Scotty."
"Sleep with Scotty?" Pavel laughs. "I don't think he's gay," he grins in his sleepy and delirious state.
Sulu chuckles. "You're funny when you're tired."
"I'm always funny," he mutters. "Humour was inwented in Russia you know?"
Sulu cracks up and Pavel smiles, closing his eyes again. He has no interest in returning to his dorm or sleeping in his room here. He just wants to fall asleep with Sulu on the couch and hold him for a while.
"Come on," Sulu smiles, "you can sleep here, you're too tired to walk back to Scotty's dorm"
Sulu helps carry the sleepy Russian into his old room. He probably could have walked there himself but he likes having Sulu's arm firmly around his waist. He says goodnight to Sulu and falls asleep quickly, smiling to himself because he finally feels things are coming together.
Pavel's woken up at night by a screaming and crying and he runs out of the room looking for Sulu. Sulu's in his bed shaking and tossing and turning and Pavel wakes him up abruptly. The Asian can hardly talk and is too out of breathe to make any kind of sense. Pavel gets him a glass of water and sits on the bed beside him.
"I was on the drill again," Sulu finally manages. "The Romulans I killed, they were there but they wouldn't die and they slaughtered Kirk in front of me and…"
Sulu doesn't need to finish, Pavel gets the idea.
"I'm a murderer," Sulu says quietly.
"You're not a murderer."
"I killed them, I'm a murderer."
Pavel pulls him into a hug and Sulu feels like crying. "You're not a murderer. You were trying to save Vulcan, anyone else would have done the same."
Sulu lets go and looks at the Russian. It's too dark to properly see the blue in his eyes that he loves so much. "I'm sorry for waking you up."
Pavel doesn't say anything, he's too fixated on the fact he's so close to Sulu. He wants to test the waters so badly. He raises his hand up to Sulu's cheek and brushes it with the ends of his fingers. Sulu doesn't object because he loves it that much, but he knows he's doing the wrong thing.
"Pavel," He mutters, in a half cautious and half worried tone. The Russian ignores him and is leaning in closer to his cheek. He presses his lips against Hikaru's cheek and the Asian moves away a little.
"Pavel don't."
"Sulu, please. I want you-"
"We shouldn't. Pavel, stop okay, stop."
Pavel's still placing soft kisses on Hikaru's cheek and as much as he loves it he pulls away.
"I can't okay," he says forcefully.
"Why not?" Pavel whines. "You don't like me or?"
"It's complicated okay," Sulu snaps. Pavel can feel tears pricking at his eyes and he leaves the room, frowning. He was so sure Sulu liked him but now everything just feels like it's falling apart. He puts his uniform back on, takes his bag and leaves. It's freezing outside but Pavel doesn't care. He glad the campus in empty and no one can hear his sobs. Sulu has hurt him and his words are like an open wound across Pavel's chest.
Scotty's was asleep until Pavel came in but the sobs coming from the room opposite his wake the Scotsman up. He knocks on Pavel's door and gets no reply. He opens the door anyway and Pavel is there with his face in a pillow sobbing helplessly. Scotty rubs his back gently and Pavel swears he has never felt more alone in his life.