Chapter Twenty-Six
"Where's Jo?" McCoy suddenly asks, realising she has been gone for 15 minutes now. Sulu stands up and opens the door, looking around the medbay and shooting McCoy a worried look. McCoy gets up abruptly and runs out in the foyer, calling her name.
"Samantha," he calls to the receptionist, "Have you seen Jo?"
"Yeah, she went outside just before. She said she was on a mission, and she said you knew where she was going."
"She said she was going to the bathroom! Fuck, she's run off. Come on," he says ushering Hikaru along.
The two run through the campus calling her name and looking for her. Sulu swears he's never seen the doctor move so fast. They've checked the library the park and the playground and she hasn't been there. McCoy has gone a dangerous shade of white and Sulu keeps calling out her name as they stop to try and catch their breath. A door opens in a nearby dorm and Pavel pokes his head out seeing the two standing there panting.
"Are you looking for Jo?" He calls out.
The two run over to him and McCoy pushes straight past Pavel into the room and sees Jo there, writing out her med report.
Pavel has about seven bandages around him and looks to Sulu, confused as McCoy picks Joanna up and holds her.
"Don't you ever run off again, you hear? You scared the life out of me."
He puts her down and turns to Pavel. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me she was here?" he asks in a quiet tone, keeping an eye on Joanna as she goes back to her med report.
"She said you knew she was here. Don't snap at me, it's not my fault you weren't watching her," the Russian says boldly, taking the bandage off his wrist.
McCoy glares at him and sits down at the table, taking a few deep breaths and sighing. "You're in so much trouble for lying Joanna."
Joanna looks up at Pavel with an innocent look and goes back to her report.
"Why is she here anyway?" Sulu asks, looking at the bandages on Pavel.
"You said he was sick, so I came to help him feel better."
Sulu mutters a small 'aww' under his breath and McCoy and Pavel look at each other. Joanna might be stubborn and sarcastic but she cares a lot, and they all know she does actually get that from her dad.
McCoy takes Joanna home to finish her med report and Sulu and Pavel are left alone again. It's awkwardly quiet and Pavel has really no intention of talking to Sulu. Sulu broke his heart and he can't just let that go straight away.
"Can we talk or?"
"I don't want to," Pavel says quietly, avoiding eye contact. He misses the taste of Sulu's cheek. He was desperately hoping he could have kissed his lips, and now he wished he just had.
"I'm sorry Pavel, but I think it's for the best."
Pavel's eyes are pricking with tears and his fist is clenched around the pillow he has on his lap. "Karu..."
Sulu's stomach tightens. He loves it when Pavel calls him that. It's so fucking cute and the Asian has to bite his lip so he doesn't grab Pavel and pull his lips to the Russian beside him.
"Please... I love you Karu... Please?" His eyes start watering and he puts his hand on Sulu's cheek again.
It takes everything Hikaru has in him to stop himself. Bones is right, engaging Pavel like this is wrong and he can't. The more he hesitates the closer Pavel gets to him.
"Chekov. I can't – we can't okay. I'm sorry I-" Sulu can't finish the sentence. Pavel needs to bite his lip to hold in sobs and he looks bitterly at Hikaru and leaves the room. He sobs into his pillow and Sulu sits and lets his self-hate eat away at him. He hates hurting Pavel like this, it's not what he wants. He starts crying too and gets up and leaves, hoping that he can find a way to fix this.
Sulu throws a book against a wall when he gets back to his room and he flips the table over. He's not one to get violent often but at the moment he just needs anything that will get his mind elsewhere. He hates McCoy and he hates himself. That look of betrayal on Pavel's face still haunts him. What's worse is Pavel said he loved him, and what's even worse is he loves him back, but just can't say it.