Title: I Will Hold The Balance If You Can't Look Down
Author: dragonfly
Categories: gen, h/c, co-dependency, mentions of torture, drugged MacGyver, hurt Jack, confused MacGyver, hurt MacGyver, emotional h/c, bromance, worried James, worried Matty, worried everyone, papa Jack, cuddling (I'm not sorry.)
Warnings: None
Summary: After weeks of being tortured, there's only one person who can convince MacGyver that he's home.
A/N: Title from, "Answer" by Sarah McLachlan
A/N: I clearly have a thing for naming fics from songs and lyrics.
Disclaimer: I don't own MacGyver or any of the characters, sadly.
~*~M~*~
They had an idea; a horrible, sickening idea, but they didn't know for sure what had happened, not really. And they wouldn't until either Jack woke, or MacGyver started talking. Covered in bruises and worse, he was barely even registering their presence. And despite the shape he was in, they couldn't get him to stay in bed.
"Mac, you need to eat," Matty reminded him as he continued to sit next to Jack's bed, ever vigilant, ever waiting. "He'd want you to eat, wouldn't he?" He refused to even keep his IV in.
His gaze shifted downward and away from Jack as if he were contemplating what she said, as if he had heard her. It was no small victory. But it lasted only briefly before his weary and troubled eyes settled back onto his partner. Matty sighed, more out of worry than frustration. It had been nearly twelve hours since the two had been rescued. MacGyver had only been out for about seven of those, and Jack had been unconscious since they were found. If MacGyver didn't let them at least get some more fluids in him, they'd be forced to sedate him. It wasn't something Matty ever wanted to happen again, but his well-being was her priority.
"Still not talking?" James asked softly, walking into the agents' shared hospital room.
She shook her head.
They knew that they had both been beaten and MacGyver had been drugged with a very powerful hallucinogen, but beyond that they could only guess the scale of emotional and psychological torture they had endured.
When found, MacGyver was curled up against Jack and had tried to fight off the agents attempting to rescue them. He only calmed when Bozer and Riley arrived shortly after, but still he didn't speak. And he would panic and fight every time Jack was taken from his sight. The medical staff had been forced to sedate him so they could be treated. Matty was just grateful she wasn't there to see it. Bozer and Riley's eyes were still haunted when she ordered them to the waiting room to lie down. It was the furthest she could get them to go and she wouldn't push it. Their boys had been missing for over two weeks. They had begun to fear the worst, but never did they stop looking. Not for a single second.
James sat next to MacGyver, concerned eyes raking over him as he wrung his hands nervously. Matty had never seen this side of him before, had never seen him looking so helpless. "Son..." Leaning closer, he placed a hand lightly over MacGyver's bandaged one. "Son, you're safe," he reminded in earnest. "You must know that."
MacGyver's eyes never left Jack, but Matty's own vision blurred when she noticed them filling with tears. And she finally realized what he needed. "He needs to hear it from Jack."
James looked between the three of them. "Why?"
She shook her head. "I don't know, but I'm telling you, the only way we're going to get Mac back, really back, is when Jack wakes up."
~*~M~*~
The moment came several hours later when Matty was just about to let the nurses sedate MacGyver again. Jack shifted and though he had yet to open his eyes, "Mac?"
MacGyver leaned in and gripped Jack's arm with both hands. "Jack?" It was the first time Matty had heard him speak. His voice was soft, trembling and hopeful. She found herself holding her breath.
Cracking open his eyes, Jack swallowed hard. "Hey," he croaked roughly. "You all right, bud?" His eyes darted around, taking in their surroundings. He breathed a sigh of relief. "I see we got an upgrade."
Bruised fingers still gripping his arm, MacGyver was visibly shaking. His mouth opened, but nothing came out.
Immediately more alert, Jack's eyes quickly took in the room again. After landing on Matty, who gave him a reassuring nod, he looked back to MacGyver. "Mac?" Reaching out, he squeezed his shoulder. MacGyver immediately latched onto his wrist. "Mac, talk to me, bud."
Again, his mouth opened, but no words came out. His eyes, though...they said enough, enough for Jack.
"Oh, oh, geez, bud." Jack's hand slid up to cup the back of his neck. "I'm here. I am." He said it like a promise. He said it like it wasn't the first time he had made it. "I'm all right."
Shoulders immediately dropping, MacGyver released a breath and nodded. A tear slipped free, but he didn't seem to notice. "Are..." He swallowed, clearly trying to compose himself. "Is...?" He couldn't seem to get what he wanted to say out. One deep, shaky breath turned into another, and then another.
With his hand still wrapped around the back of MacGyver's neck, "Come 'ere," Jack pulled him down onto his chest. "We're home," he vowed thickly, tears in his eyes. "We're really home, brother." He'd been waiting to say that for a lifetime, it seemed.
Face pressed into his chest, MacGyver's fingers twisted into Jack's hospital gown. There was a moment of weighted silence...before a small, breathy sound escaped him and his shoulders shook.
Jack's breath hitched at the sound, for he knew what it was. "It's over, hoss," his voice trembled as more tears flooded his eyes and he pulled MacGyver in a little closer. "It's over."
James looked down at his son, alarm and worry clear on his face. "Dalton, what the hell happened?"
Thick tears breaking free, Jack exhaled shakily,"The same thing every day." He brushed his hand tenderly through MacGyver's hair. "Every damn, god-forsaken day."
~*~M~*~
/MacGyver woke in a panic. He'd been waking that way for the past nine days; since they were abducted and started being tortured for shits and giggles. Since they had started drugging him.
Wide, blue eyes found his in the near dark of their cell. Jack placed a hand gently over his chest. "I'm here, bud. I'm fine."
They had been torturing him; as if the beatings and the drugs weren't enough. They used whatever they were pumping him full of to play mind games, attempting to convince him that Jack was dead. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes MacGyver would come back angry and fighting. Sometimes he came back broken.
Every time, it took Jack holding onto him, promising him that he was there, talking about home and past misadventures to get him to calm down, to get that horrible grief-stricken look out of his eyes, to get him to rest.
"We're not," he looked around, "we're not home?" Sometimes he had good dreams, only to wake in hell.
Jack wanted to lie; was tempted to use whatever drugs were still in his system in his favor and convince him that they were safe...if only for a little while. "Not yet, bud." He brushed his hand; caked in dirt and dry blood through equally as dirty blond hair. MacGyver was depending on him to tell the truth; now more than ever. "Not yet."
Sighing, MacGyver closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I can't–I can't tell what's real and what's not anymore."
"I know." Jack regarded him sadly. "But, hey, that's what you got me for. I'll be your Jiminy Cricket."
Furrowing his brow, MacGyver dropped his hand onto his chest next to Jack's. "I don't think...that makes sense, but... I can't say for certain."
The keys to their cell rattled and they looked at each other. It was impossible to say who would be taken this time. Though they were both being beaten, Jack was taking the brunt of the physical abuse, while MacGyver was taking all of the psychological. /
~*~M~*~
"How long?"
It took James a moment to find his voice after hearing what had happened to them, to his son. "Sixteen days."
Clenching his jaw, Jack swallowed hard before giving a curt nod.
"You're both expected to make a full recovery," Matty informed him. At least physically.
Jack nodded again, but he was looking a million miles away as his thumb absently slid back and forth across MacGyver's shoulder; who had fallen asleep on him, fingers still gripping his hospital gown.
"Jack?" she pressed gently.
He hummed, still lost in thought, still a million miles away. And Matty knew exactly where he was.
"I'll, uh...I'll get him settled into his own bed." James moved to pull them apart.
That got Jack's attention. "No." His arms tightened around his charge. "No, just...just let him be for now, all right? Please." He needed the reassurance as much as Mac.
James was looking out of place and painfully uncertain, but he nodded and moved away. Matty couldn't imagine that it was easy seeing his son like this; hurting so much and openly, and turning to the father figure that had taken over the roll James had abandoned.
The door opened with barely a sound before Riley bolted across the room at seeing Jack awake. She pulled up short next to the bed, uncertain where she could touch him without hurting him. "Hey." Her voice broke, but she was smiling despite the tears in her eyes.
Jack reached for her with one hand. "Hey, sweetheart." He returned the smile.
Moving to the bed at a slightly slower speed, "You two really had us worried," Bozer still looked worried, eyes zeroing in on MacGyver who was completely zonked on Jack's chest and oblivious to their reunion.
"Are you guys okay?" Riley was holding onto Jack's hand with both of hers.
Jack softly patted MacGyver's back. "We are now."
"The way we found you two–" Bozer shook his head; that haunted look still in his eyes.
"What's important is that it's over and our boys are home," Matty was quick to remind him, to remind herself.
Jack hummed in agreement. "How long was he up staring at me?" His own eyes had started to drift shut.
"Hours," James answered, draping a blanket over his son's back.
"And hours," Bozer added.
Jack grunted. "He'll sleep good then."
"As soon as we get you guys home, I'm gonna make you the biggest meal your stomachs have ever seen," Bozer declared.
"Oh, and we can binge watch the new season of that show on Netflix," Riley added.
Matty furrowed her brow. "Is that the one with the cowboys, or the aliens?"
With one arm still protectively wrapped around MacGyver's back and one hand still in Riley's, Jack fell asleep as they talked softly among themselves. He still had a lot of healing to do. They both did. And their family was going to be there with them every step of the way.
End.