A/N: New chapter. It is a bit of a filler but stick with it exciting things are to come. Also sorry for the delay.

The next morning a dull throb of misery prevailed over me. I was sad the weekend was over. I wished we could have stayed in the bubble of just us two forever but I knew Carlisle had to get back to work and I had to go back to school. In the back of my mind, I was replaying the conversation I had had yesterday with Carlisle so I knew it was only a few months before we could be together just the two of us but my heart ached for the time in between. It felt so far away.

Carlisle was downstairs making tea for me by the time I came out of the shower and headed downstairs. He was in the kitchen with his back turned to me but it gave me a great opportunity to appreciate him. He was dressed in dark pants and a slightly lighter t-shirt that clung to his arms most spectacularly. I leaned against the door frame of the kitchen admiring him.

"Are you going to stand there all day ogling me or are you coming in?" he laughed with his back still turned to me. I rolled my eyes as I walked towards the breakfast bar climbing onto one of the stools.

"I've been thinking about our conversation yesterday," I started as he turned around and placed a mug of tea in front of me before leaning down on the counter resting on his forearms.

"What about it?" he asked casually.

"Colleges," I said slowly. He nodded waiting for me to continue.

"Well its two things," I changed tack becoming unsure of myself. "I want to be like you I just don't think there is any rush."

Carlisle took my hand, "There is no rush Bella. You're 18. I'm 23 physically, Esme was 26 physically. There is no need to rush. If you want to live out your days as a human I will be there with you for the rest of your life. If you want to become one of us then I will change you but not until you're ready." The sincerity in his voice almost made me emotional. I knew he would do anything for me and I had no idea what I had done to deserve it.

"I do want to be like you, I just think I'd like to go to college first. Experience all of that kind of stuff first," he squeezed my hand encouraging me to continue, "and I think I'm going to apply to east coast colleges. New York, Penn state that kind of thing. I have the grades and if I could get scholarships and student loans I could probably afford the tuition."

"Bella, I can help you with tuition. I want to be with you forever, what's mine is yours." My insides melted slightly as he stared into my eyes whilst he said it. I still didn't want to take his money, it made me feel icky but I couldn't outright turn him down.

"We'll see," I murmured.

"Do you want still want me to come with you?" he asked quietly almost as if he was now unsure of himself despite the weekend that had transpired.

"Of course I do. I don't want to go anywhere you're not," I assured him astounded he could even think that.

He walked round to my side of the bar and kissed me gently.

I glanced at the clock. It was around noon. I had slept late as a result of my early morning activities. I felt my face blush as I thought of it. Carlisle noticed as well as he reached up to place his palm on my cheek.

"I should go," I sighed. "Don't want to leave Charlie alone all weekend."

"Of course," Carlisle nodded. "Your bag is on the sofa with your things in it. I'll get it for you."

Carlisle walked me out to my truck as he always did and lifted me into the cab. I was perfectly capable of getting into my truck myself but I loved the thrill that went through me whenever I felt his hands around my waist.

"I love you," he said as he gave me one final kiss.

"I love you too," he shut the door behind me and I started the loud engine.

The drive home gave me some time for reflection. I couldn't stop thinking about how perfectly happy I was. Carlisle was everything and my time with him was so perfect although never long enough. It almost felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like I was waiting for something bad to happen. I tried to fight that feeling down to where it came from. I didn't want anything to spoil the perfect weekend. The only thing slightly marring it was the perpetual guilt I felt over Edward. I wished I had some way of contacting him. Explaining the situation so he didn't just find out one day. How cruel that would be. I made a mental note to speak to Alice about it.

When I got home Charlie was waiting for me, reading the paper at the table beer in hand. It being a Sunday where he was off duty and it being after 12.30 it wasn't too early for him.

"Hey Bells, good weekend?" he asked.

"Yeah went to Seattle yesterday with Alice. She bought a ton, I did not," I said jokingly as I set my bag down and checked the refrigerator for ingredients for dinner. Almost empty. I would have to go to the supermarket after school tomorrow.

"Sounds like fun. How are the family getting on in California? Must be very a big adjustment after Forks," Charlie believed the lie. He had no reason to suspect that Carlisle and Esme hadn't amicably separated and she had gone to be closer to family.

"Erm, they're fine. A big adjustment. I guess she misses Carlisle. She's staying another couple of days I think," I was uncomfortable with the deep probing. I wanted the conversation to be over so I didn't slip up and tell him something I shouldn't.

Thankfully Charlie just nodded and went back to his paper. Mentally noting we had the ingredients for me to make dinner later I went to the living room to finish the homework I had due in the following week.

Later that night after dinner had been cleared away and Charlie had made his way to bed in good time for his early start I sat on my bed phone in hand. I was planning on calling Alice but I knew if I left it long enough she would see and call me first.

I had barely been waiting two minutes when the phone began to quietly buzz in my hand.

"Hey Bella," he naturally chirpy voice instantly lifted my mood.

"Hey, Alice."

"I don't have a contact number for you," she said straight the point as usual. My stomach sunk a little. Of course, Alice knew why I was calling and I had known this would probably be the answer but the disappointment was still real.

"Oh," I sighed.

"He calls every so often but from a burner phone which he then destroys after he's called."

"Next time he calls could you ask him to call me. Tell him I just need to tell him something," I almost begged. I needed closure. I needed him to know.

"I will," Alice sounded sympathetic and I knew she was.

"Anyway how was this weekend?" she asked after a short pause.

"Perfect, wonderful, extraordinary," I laid back on my bed smiling at the memories. "There are no words to describe just how utterly perfect it was."

"Did I do well?" she asked coyly. She knew she had.

"Of course Alice, thank you for those things. They were perfect. What would I do without you?" I laughed. Her tinkling bell-like laugh joined in.

"I know I'm wonderful." I heard a voice in the background as she said this but couldn't place it,

"I have to go now Bella," she said hurriedly, "Love you."

"Love you too," I said rather confused but by the time I had finished the words the line had gone dead.

Confused at the sudden turn of events I placed my phone on my bedside table. Whatever it was I'm sure it was nothing important. Alice would have told me if it was.

I shook it off and turned out my light. I needed my rest after the weekend.

School was rather monotonous as usual. The only difference being that after the conversation I had had with Carlisle at the weekend I started filling out college applications. They were all east coast colleges, as discussed, filling out the personal information didn't take long but I had spent nearly every night working on the essays. I was bored and I missed Carlisle. It was Thursday and I hadn't seen him since Sunday. He'd been working nights at the hospitals, and needed to leave shortly after I would have arrived at the house there didn't seem any point in me going around. We had spoken on the phone when the time had permitted, on a morning before school or before I went to sleep when Carlisle could take a break. It didn't make it any less miserable.

I missed him. I missed the feel of his arms and the sound of his laugh and the taste of his kisses. Being away from him even for a short time felt a little like part of me was with him and when we were apart that piece of me was missing. It was manageable knowing I would see him over the weekend. He had Friday and Saturday off before being back on call Sunday.

I had felt though, after my romantic weekend with my blonde Adonis, as though something had been awoken inside of me and I couldn't quite dampen it down again. I found myself at school daydreaming about the feel of Carlisle kissing my body when I was in the kitchen cooking all I could think about was the feel of his hands against me and when I was trying to work on a night it was especially bad with my mind constantly replaying the feel of him inside of me.

On this particular night, it was all I could think of as I tried to sleep. My thighs rubbing together trying to dissipate the tension that was gathering between them.

I checked my phone. It was around midnight. Carlisle would be a taking a 'lunch break' soon despite never needing one, he had to keep up appearances.

I fired him a quick text, 'I miss you x'.

Only minutes later I received a response, 'I miss you too beautiful girl but you should be sleeping'.

'Can't sleep. Can't stop thinking about you.' I fired back. If he was able to text he wasn't needed in any dire emergency. It made me feel naughty.

'Try!' was my only response.

'How can I? After last weekend all I can think about is the feel of you against me. In me.' I giggled to myself as I sent it. I was feeling far too aroused to care about the response or feel embarrassed as I usually would although after a few minutes of no reply I was starting to feel somewhat self-conscious. Another minute ticked by and still no response. I started to compose another text apologising when I saw his name flash up on my phone. He was calling me.

"Hi," I breathed into the phone as I answered his call.

"What do you think you're doing?" his voice sounded angry. Immediately I became nervous. "Sending me messages like that. I had to excuse myself for a break in my office," he continued.

"I'm sorry," I began the shame of my actions colouring my tone.

"I don't think you are," he voice took on another tone. One I hadn't head in Carlisle before and did not recognise. "I think you're a very naughty girl." I took a sharp intake of breath at those words.

"Carlisle," I sighed.

"Touch yourself," his voice quiet and demanding. I hesitantly reached down to touch myself. It wasn't something I was familiar with doing. I gasped sharply when I felt how wet I was. How desperate I was for release.

"Carlisle," I said again, this time it was more of a moan.

"Are you doing it?" he demanded.

"Yes," I gasped as my fingers moved and brushed against my clit.

"Are you wet?"

"Yes, so wet." I heard his intake of breath.

"Rub your clit for me, Bella, make yourself feel good," his voice was deep and raspy.

"Oh Carlisle it feels so good," I moaned again.

"Put a finger inside of yourself," he was demanding again. I was too turned on to not comply with his orders. He knew when I'd done it as I let out a little cry. I stopped listening for Charlie's breathing, I had forgotten to be quiet and I didn't want him waking up, I relaxed when I heard his even snores.

"Are you wet Isabella?" he asked his voice like velvet sending another gush of moisture through me.

"So wet for you Carlisle," I cried quietly.

"Good girl. I want you to finger fuck yourself. I want you to fuck yourself and tell me how it feels," his words were ordering me and I was not in any state to disobey.

I moved my fingers so they were inside of myself and started to thrust slowly at first but then as I found more of a rhythm I sped up. I imagined they were the ice-cold ones I so desperately wanted them to be and moaned his name. I wanted him to know how badly I wanted him.

"Tell me how it feels Isabella. Use your words," he commanded once more.

"Good. So good. So wet. And… oh! Carlisle! I can't," I was halfway between describing and begging. Soon words would be beyond my control. All I could think about was how good I felt. How I needed more. I desperately wished it was him but the sound of his voice and my own hands were doing a good enough job.

"Good girl. I want you to fuck yourself till you cum. Imagine they are my fingers. Imagine I am there with you with my fingers inside of you. I wouldn't stop Isabella. I'd keep going, even when you'd come for me." His breathing was more ragged now and his voice deeper. I was affecting him. Him listening to me doing this was a turn on for him. I would have been glad to know that if I hadn't been so desperate for my release, it was all I could think about.

"You're a naughty girl Isabella. Teasing me. It's ok though, if you come for me I'll forgive you," his voice was sweeter now beckoning me to the edge.

"Carlisle I'm so desperate, I need you," I begged.

"I know sweet girl but keep going. Don't stop. Use your fingers and think of me. Think of how good I'm going to fuck you next time I see you. You won't be able to walk straight when I'm done with you sweetheart. I'll make sure you are thoroughly used," his dirty words sent me over the edge. I bit my lip to keep from crying out but I was sure Carlisle could still hear my quiet moans and my voice saying his name over and over again as I came for him.

When it had passed he spoke once more, "Was that good sweetheart?"

"Yes, so good. I was so desperate," I told him stifling a yawn.

"I know," his voice was sympathetic. "Good to sleep now, sweet girl. Some of us have work," he chuckled darkly.

"I love you," I murmured as my eyes closed and I felt sleep begin to envelop me.

"I love you more than you will ever know," were the last words I heard before I succumbed to the slumber.

A/N: New chapter. Bit of a filler but please do review. It means a lot and remember I can be found on tumblr under the same username.