A/N: This one is kind of a wild ride. Then again, most of what I write is. But it definitely takes a turn. It's...descriptive.

Chapter 3:

Interpersonal Therapy

After the group dispersed Alison told Emily where they'd be meeting for their one-on-one. It was an office that belonged to one of the doctors in the hospital. He had been working with Alison and her cause for almost two years, and he tried to arrange it so patients didn't have to leave the hospital before she thought they were ready. He rarely used his office, so he rented it out to her for no charge.

Emily dreaded seeing her again. She'd already made a fucking fool of herself. Over the years she'd become an expert at lying, but something about lying to the blonde made her feel wrong. It was hard for her to look in her penetrating blue eyes and make up some lame-ass story that she knew Alison would never buy anyway.

She made her way to Alison's borrowed office, dreading the conversation, but also intrigued to see her again. She found Alison seated in a chair behind a desk. She was scribbling something in a notepad.

When she walked into the room Alison glanced at her. Something about the way Emily carried herself roused an unyielding desire in her. She felt an attraction. And she knew it was wrong. Because the girl clearly wasn't in any place for emotional connections. But it was hard to resist her hormones. Emily had such a magnetic presence, like she was the only person in the world. She was exhibiting a quiet confidence that she'd been lacking in the group session.

Alison took a moment to notice just how striking she was. Despite the hospital stay she was chiseled and buff, but with soft curves and an effeminate face. Her eyes were a dark shade of brown with a light creamy tint that she hadn't been able to see in the darkness that first night they met. She tried not to stare at her.

God, her lips are so beautiful.

Emily's gaze did something to her, and she could only imagine what those plump rounded lips must taste like. Alison quickly quieted her lust for desire. She knew it would be wrong to get involved in more than a professional manner.

"Close the door." Alison glanced back at her notepad, just to avoid looking at her.

Her life had been a series of broken people she'd tried to fix. And this girl was no different.

Yet she was different. There was something about her. Alison couldn't quite figure it out.

"Why? You gonna take your clothes off or something?" Emily scoffed as she pushed the door shut.

"For privacy. I understand that you value yours. I didn't mean to make you feel cornered in the group session."

"It's fine." Emily buried her hands in her pockets and shuffled her left foot against the floor. She couldn't maintain eye contact with Alison either, which sparked a curiosity in the would-be therapist.

"I think I went about it the wrong way for you. And I apologize for that. I understand what someone like you shoulders in the wake of the tragedies you see…"

"You understand?" Emily asked with a raised brow. How could pretty little miss perfect even begin to understand the shit her brothers and sisters in arms went through?

"I recognize the signs. Not just from my work. But my brother Jason. He came back from one trip over there, and he…he wasn't my brother anymore. So, yes. I understand the physical and mental aspect of the hell anyone who has done it has to go through."

That sparked curiosity in the young veteran.

"He saw action, huh? How bad?"

"Don't know. He wouldn't talk about it." She stared Emily down. "A lot like you."

Emily nodded.

"Don't take it personal. Civilians just can't understand it on the same level."

"That's fair." Alison didn't argue.

Emily saw a sad look on her face. Sometimes she forgot it was just as hard for the families of people in the army as it was for them.

"Big things for him were not being out in crowd...or going somewhere that had loud noises. Those are his PTSD triggers."

"Sucks for him." Emily focused on a paperweight on the desk.

She wasn't really listening to what Alison was saying. She couldn't listen. She couldn't let that part of her in. Alison saw her trying to zone out.

"I feel as though that when I put you on the spot I opened something in you that you'd been holding in since you got back. I saw something spark inside of you when you walked into that therapy session. The way you froze. The way your observations seemed to be out of your head. I saw your eyes. You look paralyzed…like you were in a war zone."

Emily wanted to scream. There it was. The sympathy she didn't want.

"Yeah, because I'd been blindsided into playing a real life character from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." She replied defensively.

"It was more than that." Alison gently moved out from behind the desk. "How long has it been happening?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she rebuffed. "I just…wasn't expecting to walk into…that. And I got a…a little disoriented. I haven't slept for shit in days. And when I kicked over that stupid plant it startled me."

"Don't bullshit me, Emily."

Her tone was curt. Different from what Emily had heard on the phone and in that therapy session today. It was a tone that told her that Alison was far more experienced with people like her than she let on. And it was kind of hot. For a brief moment she felt like pinning her to the desk and fucking her until her eyes rolled back into her head.

"How long have you been flashing back to your time overseas?" Alison questioned.

"I never fucking left." She bit back.

"Is that what pushed you over the edge the night you took those drugs?"

Real fucking Einstein. Any dipshit with a brain could come to that conclusion.

"What do you think?"

"How often does it happen?" Alison asked.

"Look, opening up these wounds is fascinating. But it's not going to do dick for me. I'm not here to have some big revelation about my life. I'm just here to do my required reading assignment or whatever little shitty thing I've got to do to get out of here."

"Well, I'm not just going to sign off on something I don't believe in. I don't want you back in here after you've run for the razor blades…"

A bullet would be less painful.

"Jesus, what is it with you?" Emily clenched her jaw. "Why do you give a shit? You don't even know me. And I've been nothing but a fucking asshole to you since the second we met."

"There's more to you than that."

"No. There's really not."

"There is."

"Keep dreaming, sweetheart."

"I used to be you, Emily."

"Excuse me?" Is this my therapy session or hers?

Emily didn't stop to think that Alison was trying to establish a rapport with her. By talking about her life she was hoping to get Emily to open up about hers.

"I was hateful and angry. I took my problems out on the people in my life. I was a miserable person."

What the fuck kind of reverse psychology is this? Emily frowned.

"You?" Emily scoffed. "Princess Perfect?"

"We all have a dark side." Alison's was darker than she was letting on. "But instead of taking my aggression out on myself, which you seem to do," She motioned for Emily to sit down, which she ignored, "I lashed out at other people. Because of my actions I drove a girl to try and commit suicide in high school."

"Really? How can I get that counselor?" The one who didn't give a fuck. The one who would let her just end it.

"This is not a joke." Alison hissed. "I've seen what this can lead to…"

"Yeah, you interrupted it three nights ago." Emily scoffed.

"You called for help. Somewhere deep down there's…"

"There's what?" Emily snapped harshly. "A girl who truly loves life and wants to live it all rainbows and kittens and butterflies? Sorry to burst your bubble, but I took those fucking pills because I don't see pretty flowers and happy children. I see war and dead mutilated bodies. I see death every day. And I'm tired of it. I took those pills because I wanted to. I knew what I was doing. I wanted it to stop."

"Of course you did. You seem to use self-punishment more than any other forms of abuse. I'm not as familiar with that. I personally used bullying as a form of relief."

"That's why you're doing all this goody-goody stuff now? To make up for all the bad? Make it right with your God before you bite the big one…"

"I don't believe in God."

The way she'd said it with such a sharp growl in her tone surprised Emily. Something had happened to her in her life that had turned her against religion.

There was a beat of silence. Emily looked at a picture on the wall, staring at the peeling paint near the corner of the room.

"Yeah, me neither." She shrugged. How could she believe that any higher power would have put her through the hell she'd been through? "So, why do you do it?"

"Because I owe it to people like you…and my brother. And everyone who has ever felt so lost that they don't see a way out. To know that I pushed someone to that point…to make them feel at their lowest, it was a turning point for me. I was not a good person, and I realized I wanted to do something to help."

"So…what exactly is it that you do?"

"I'm in the private non-profit sector."

"Which means what?"

"We work with donors who contribute to causes for suicide prevention and awareness and treatment for depression and anxiety."

"Why didn't you just go to med school?"

"The kind of help that I want to provide can't be confined to just a medical setting. I want to work in outreach. I want to be in the community. I want to actually make a difference, not throw medication at the problem and hope for the best."

Impressive. Someone who knew that there was more to emotional pain than just biology.

"I got my graduate degree in Psychology. I'm thinking about going back for my Doctorate."

"How old are you?" Emily asked curiously.

"26. And you?"

"24."

"Did you go to college?"

"No. Never really thought about it, to be honest. I packed up and joined the army the second I turned 18. They have programs for schooling, but I didn't look into it. I just needed a fresh start, you know? I thought I could figure it out when I got my head on straight." Emily picked at a piece of wallpaper that was peeling off of the wall. "They don't really tell you what it's going to be like. I mean, you get a general idea. And they work you out until you're confident you could take on anything that comes up. But…they really can't prepare you mentally."

Alison watched as Emily retreated into herself. She stared at the imperfections in the office as she talked about her personal strife.

"I got hurt six months in. This other newbie and I were trying to clear a building. This attacker came at us out of nowhere. Stabbed me in the back and got the other kid in the chest. I managed to get a shot off, but it was too late for the kid. And I lost a kidney."

"That must have been hard."

Would have given my other kidney for the kid's life. Should have been me…

She'd watched him choke on his own blood. Though it hadn't been the first person she'd seen killed at close range, it was the first person she'd seen killed in action overseas. She'd tried to mentally box it away with everything else, but she'd never gotten the image of his dying breaths out of her mind.

Emily finally made eye contact with her again. Alison saw a quiet pain hiding deep inside, but she also saw extraordinary bravery.

"You learn to adapt. You have to in order to survive." Her simple response seemed to mean more than one thing.

Alison had seen it before. It was textbook for someone who had come from a broken home. Jason had done the same thing.

"What were you running from?" Alison questioned.

"Excuse me?"

"When you joined the army." She clarified. "You said you joined when you were 18."

It startled Emily. She didn't like that Alison was asking all the right questions.

"What makes you think I was running from something?" She dodged it.

"Most people are."

"Maybe I just wanted to serve my fucking country." Emily shrugged.

"My brother was running." Alison held her gaze. She was trying to tread carefully. "Our home life was…less than stellar."

She saw Emily flinch. The brunette was repressing something, but she also looked like she felt the urge to protect Alison from her past, like she wouldn't ever let any harm come to her. There was a sensual sort of softness to it. To care about someone enough to protect them. She wished she'd had someone like Emily in her life when she was younger.

"My parents were hard on us, especially my brother." Alison continued. She observed as Emily's eyes widened and her jaw tightened. Clearly she'd hit a nerve. "It was a…volatile environment sometimes…"

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Emily's fingers curled into her palm as her hands wound into tight fists.

"Because I understand what it feels like to want to get away."

Emily snorted, rolling her eyes.

"You have no idea what I've been through."

"You keep saying that, and I keep saying the same thing. I want to know."

Emily didn't know what to say. She wanted to open up to her and tell her everything. But at the same time she was terrified. And she didn't like being afraid. Bad things happened when she was afraid.

"I…" The room felt like it was closing in on her. "I don't…"

The walls looked warped. The sound of the overhead lights was buzzing in her ears.

"Emily?" Alison moved over towards her.

"I can't be here. I…can't breathe." She whipped around towards the door. She was ready to bolt.

"Emily, stop." Alison reached out to grab her arm.

She knew it was a mistake the second she put her hands on her. It had been nothing more than a reflex. She'd forgotten about the PTSD. She'd just been desperate to keep Emily from walking out the door.

Alison's innocent motion had triggered everything bad that had ever happened to Emily. When Emily lifted her head she wasn't in the safety of the hospital. She was exposed and vulnerable. She was reliving her fears. She felt large burly hands against her throat, squeezing the life out of her. She felt the fear of death looming over her. And as much as she wanted to die, her body's natural reaction when it came to "fight or flight" was fight.

Emily spun around and snatched Alison's wrist, pushing her arm up and moving defensively against her. She moved so quickly that Alison didn't even realize she'd been shoved up against the wall. She looked into Emily's eyes and saw an empty shell – a feral animal trying to defend herself. She had her arm against Alison's throat.

"Emily…" Alison managed to keep her cool. She carefully reached up and put her fingertips against Emily's cheek, just as she'd done when the brunette had panicked her first night in the hospital. "It's okay. You're safe. I'm not going to hurt you. You don't have to fight anymore. You're safe."

Emily saw a world of kindness in her eyes. She blinked blankly at the feel of Alison's touch against her face. Her heaving breaths slowed to a more shallow pace. She loosened her grip.

"I uh…" She swallowed a knot in her throat.

She was beyond words. She moved away from Alison and took a shuddering breath. She ran her fingers through her tangled hair.

"I'm sorry. You…" She seemed shaken, "…you shouldn't have grabbed me."

She pressed her back against the crevice in the wall and sank to the floor, her face buried in her palms. Silent tears streamed down her cheeks as she breathed heavily into her hands.

"No, that's not right." She seemed to be talking to herself more than to Alison. "It…it's my fault. I…I shouldn't have…" Emily shook her head. All she could picture was the dying screams of her brothers overseas. She saw flashes of Ethan. Then it got worse. Her little sister. Her baby sister. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

When she pulled her hands away from her face she saw Alison kneeling in front of her. She had moved back to give her some space, but she was still close enough that she could reach out to touch her cheek again.

"Just focus on your breathing."

"I am fucking breathing." That was the problem. She was breathing, and as long as she was breathing she was suffocating. "Oh God." She uttered. "This is stupid." She groaned. "This is so fucking stupid."

She curled up, her body feeling like a stranger she didn't recognize. She took heaving breaths until she finally got back into a normal breathing pattern. She looked at Alison, who had a mixture of concern and sympathy on her face.

"How…how did you know what to do?" Emily asked.

How did she always know what to do? It was annoying. Emily didn't like people who could see through her, and she could tell that when Alison looked at her she could see everything.

"Because it's part of the process…"

"There is no process." Emily argued.

"Please just let me help you…"

"No! I. Don't. Belong. Here." Emily bit through her teeth.

Emily was trembling, emotions flowing through her body. Emotions she couldn't control. The pain and the rage that she felt was making it hard for her to concentrate on her breathing.

"Just breathe," Alison said calmly. "In and out."

"I don't belong here," she said again, this time meekly. She looked helpless. Her eyes were brimming with tears.

"Emily, just look at me. This isn't going to last. There is an end. Just look at me and breathe."

Emily heaved out a heated breath and nodded as she kept her eyes focused on Alison. She watched Alison's chest rise and fall and tried to mimic her motions. She could feel her chest slowing down. She could feel the air expanding in her lungs.

For several minutes the air in the room was quiet except for the sounds of Emily trying to catch her breath. Alison laid her palms against either side of Emily's neck.

"Better?" Alison asked.

Emily was too caught up in Alison's eyes to respond with words. Instead, she just nodded. She pushed herself to her feet, blinking absentmindedly. Alison followed her motions. She saw a stray tear against Emily's cheek and she reached up and brushed it away. Her fingers lingered against Emily's jaw.

Their faces were inches apart. Both of them were breathing heavily. The air around them changed. Emily started to close the distance between them, but hesitated, leaving her lips ghosting over Alison's. She held her gaze. There was a quiet sensitivity in Alison's eyes, but there was also something darker looming, something that Emily felt connected to. She reached up and strummed her fingers through Alison's soft blonde locks.

That was the breaking point for the blonde. Alison blinked and then seconds later she was moving forward to capture Emily's lips. Something came over her that she couldn't control, something she didn't want to control. It was more than just the heat of the moment. It was her heart's desire. She couldn't pull herself away from Emily if she tried. She'd never felt such a gripping passion, a need for her touch…her taste.

Emily responded by pushing back against the kiss. She spun her around and pushed Alison against the wall, her mouth moving down to the side of her neck. Emily's palms were above her hips holding her firmly in place. Alison dug her fingernails into Emily's back as she groaned into their kiss.

When Alison felt Emily's hands gliding up her shirt she realized what they were doing. And where they were doing it.

"Wait," Alison huffed out. "We really shouldn't." She put her hands against Emily's abdomen, though she didn't push her away. Her fingertips traced the lines of her abs. Her skin felt so good.

"Doesn't mean we can't." Emily grinned at the blonde, a sultry look on her face. She scanned Alison's face for any trace of hesitance before softly adding, "Do you want to stop?"

Alison shook her head and pushed her lips against Emily's again. Emily took control of the kiss, her lips commanding and quick. Alison felt Emily's tongue moving delicately against the slit in her lips, pushing for more. Her tongue slid in easily, finding a rhythm with Alison's motions. Alison's teeth grazed Emily's bottom lip as she pulled her close.

Alison let her take control of the kiss, but she maintained control of their bodies. She pressed her chest against Emily's and melted into their embrace. She reached up and pulled Emily closer, gripping at the back of her neck. She wanted more, and Emily sensed it.

Emily reached for the front of her blouse, breaking their kiss long enough to ask,

"Can I?"

"You fucking better."

Emily smirked. She liked how commanding this woman was. There was something intriguing about the way she had a balance of control.

Emily's fingers worked rapidly against the buttons on Alison's shirt, exposing her chest and her frilly pink bra.

"I didn't figure you for a little pink bunny. What sweet little sorority did you pledge to? Kappa Kappa Girlie-Girl?"

"Shut up." Alison gripped Emily's sides. Emily chuckled, trying to get a proper answer. "I was Kappa Delta."

"Mmm, so you were a sorority bitch." Emily nibbled on the side of Alison's jaw as her palms landed against her breasts.

"Had my pick of any girl I wanted…"

"You were that kind of sorority girl?"

Alison grinned. She didn't give Emily the chance to unhook her bra. She reached up and popped the clasp. Her bra fell on the ground between them. Emily's eyes widened in delight.

Alison grabbed Emily's cheeks and placed a hard kiss against her lips as they twirled around the room, knocking over a coat rack and a small potted fern.

The crash made Emily jump, but she didn't stop her motions. She moved every time Alison moved. She dipped down and pressed a kiss against her left breast while finessing the nipple on her right one. Seconds later Alison felt the brunette's hot tongue against her breastbone.

Alison felt herself dripping into her underwear. She grabbed Emily's hand and moved it underneath her skirt so she could feel what she was doing to her. Emily rubbed her fingers against her lacy panties, feeling her own inner heat burning her from the inside. She gripped Alison's underwear and pulled them down so she could have better access.

She pushed the blonde up against the back of a large armchair and held her in place as she gently teased her, moving back and forth. Alison's hips started bucking and Emily grinned against her chest, biting down on her left breast just hard enough to leave a mark.

She peered up at Alison as she drew slow sensual circles between her legs. Alison's breath hitched in her throat. Emily watched as she closed her eyes and threw her head back and moaned. She took the opportunity to nip at the thin skin on Alison's exposed neck, biting and sucking. She could feel Alison's shaky breaths against her cheek. She knew she was close.

Emily lifted Alison's thigh and entered her roughly without warning. Alison cried out. In that one motion the blonde could feel the amount of anger Emily had stored inside. But there was so much more in her movements. The second she cried Emily stopped and stared at her with a look of concern.

When she saw the pain on the blonde's face, her expression softened. She hadn't realized she was being so hard on her. She'd also gotten so caught up in the moment that she'd forgotten to ask if Alison was okay with it.

"Oh, shit. I didn't mean…did…are you not…I'm so sorry," Emily started to pull her fingers out, but Alison reached down to hold her wrist in place.

"I didn't say to fucking stop, did I?" Her eyes flashed with a dark lust of passion.

She adjusted quickly. Emily felt Alison throb around her intrusion. Her walls pulsed as she got used to the feeling of Emily being inside of her. Alison nodded and Emily started moving her fingers in and out, slowly, as she curled them. She lifted Alison's leg higher against her ribs and began to put more and more pressure against her center as her fingers sped up.

"Harder." Alison bit down on her bottom lip.

It had been a long time since someone had made her this wet…made her feel this wanted. It was the excitement of lust with a slight undertone of soft emotion.

She held on to Emily, gripping and squeezing her biceps. She looked at the images underneath her fingers on the tattooed sleeve of pictures and words on Emily's right arm. She moved her fingers up to her collar bone and traced the barrage of scars.

She gasped when she felt Emily lift her up off of the ground. Her eyes locked on Emily's as the brunette's fingers curled inside of her. She cried out in pleasure, but immediately stifled her moans so they wouldn't draw the attention of the hospital staff. But Emily didn't seem to care about that. She wanted to hear her.

The backs of Alison's knees hit the desk, knocking everything to the ground. But they didn't care. They were swept up in the moment. Emily continued her assault with her fingers while Alison writhed against the desk. Just as Alison was about to hit her peak Emily pulled out.

Alison looked at her, annoyed, but before she could ask what the hell Emily thought she was doing Emily got a wicked smile on her face. She moved her fingers up to her lips and traced her tongue along the wetness that had gathered against them. She put them in her mouth and sucked against them until they were clean. Alison felt herself twitch in response.

Emily leaned down until her face was in between Alison's thighs. She kissed the grooves of her inner pelvis and Alison moaned.

"Stop teasing." She complained.

Emily grabbed Alison's thighs, pulling them closer to the edge of the desk. Her grip was strong and the motion happened quickly, her legs falling over Emily's shoulders. Seconds later she felt Emily's plump lips against her core and she yelped and grabbed the back of Emily's head to push her closer.

Emily ran the length of her tongue across Alison's wet engorged slits and then she started playing with her clit, sucking it, nudging it, licking it. She felt Alison's legs tightening around her neck, her thighs squeezing the side of Emily's head as she bucked out of control.

Emily slipped her fingers back in and found that her insides were pulsing with desire. So she delicately licked her entrance before pushing her warm rough tongue inside. She moved with the rhythm of her breathing.

In and out. In and out. In and out.

She felt Alison getting ready to let go again and she moved two fingers in her, bringing her tongue up to lick what was already dripping through her legs. She moved up to Alison's face, her lips harshly pushing against the blonde as she slammed into her with her fingers, adding a third.

"Emily…" Alison couldn't breathe.

She was thrusting hard, her ass nearly coming off of the desk as she bucked against the motions. She was clawing at her desperately, trying to pull her closer.

"Say it again, Alison." Emily whispered huskily against her face.

"Emily!" Her nails dug into Emily's back as her eyes rolled back into her skull.

Emily grinned when she saw the sheer pleasure on her face.

There it is. The face she'd wanted to see.

Alison bit down on her lip.

"Oh shit." She groaned, a hot liquid spilling out of her, dripping down Emily's wrist and on to her thighs.

Her body fell into a seizure of small bursts of ecstasy, her thighs squeezing Emily's hand hard, keeping her in place as she came. Her inner walls were throbbing fast against Emily's fingers.

Emily watched her facial expressions as she hit her peak. Her jaw dropped, her face froze and her eyelids fluttered as her body rocked with spasms.

Emily held her as her body twitched. She slowly moved her fingers. Every time she pulled out and gently pushed back in Alison felt like she was coming again. She pushed her forehead against Emily's shoulder and squeaked as she felt her body burning in ways that she hadn't felt in years. She held on to Emily like a lifeline, whimpering content cries of pleasure every time she felt her fingers trace her insides.

Emily pulled back to look at her, cupping her chin and gently kissing her. She finally slowed her movements, moving her thumb against her tight pulsing clit. She gently curled her fingers inside of the blonde, watching as her face contorted in ecstasy. And Alison realized that Emily wasn't stopping.

"Oh…ohGod, Jesus Christ, Emily." She huffed, unable to breathe. "Again?"

"I could make you come all night, Alison." She whispered against her ear.

Emily's sharp words and her pressing heavily against her clit sent another wave of pleasure coursing through Alison. It felt so good that it was starting to hurt, in the best way. Her muscles tensed. She bit down on Emily's collar bone. She groaned. Her body felt like it was on fire. She felt a burning from inside her veins.

"I…I can't."

"Yes you can." Emily whispered a hot breath against her ear, her tongue teasing the tip of it. She felt Alison shudder. She was close again.

"No, I…it's too much. I…can't…"

But she did. Alison screwed her eyes shut, her hips trembling as they pulsed erratically. She started to scream, but Emily slapped a hand over her mouth. Alison barely even registered it. She felt like she was having an out of body experience. She'd never had sex this intense. She'd never found anyone who'd been able to push her to her limits like this.

Something came over Alison. A need, a desire to feel Emily as she came again. In one swift motion she pushed her palm into Emily's jeans. Her fingers quickly found the wet heat in between her legs, but before she could slip her fingers inside the brunette she felt Emily lifting her off of the desk.

Her hand flew out of Emily's pants and automatically reached around her back for support. The new angle penetrated her even deeper. Her legs found a natural curve around Emily's body and the motion pushed Emily's fingers to a place that had never been reached before.

Emily's movements were precise and calculated, but also had a formidable sensitivity and kindness behind them. It's almost as if she'd been hurt before and she didn't want anyone else to go through what she'd gone through. She was in control, but at the same time she was wildly spinning out.

Alison reached up to touch Emily's face, which was buried against her shoulder.

"Emily, look at me."

She did. And for a brief second it was more than just sex. It was a strange comfort. A need. A desire. Emily felt something. Looking at Alison as she opened herself in every way, Emily felt more alive than she had felt in a long time.

Alison panted heavily against her face as she felt an ocean of pleasure rolling over her. She felt Emily's fingers stiffen inside of her and then gently tap up into a spot that racked her with a feeling that sent lightning bolts of bliss into every nerve ending in her body. It was the most intense orgasm she'd ever had.

She screamed Emily's name and then arched her back and moaned. Her body vibrated against Emily's as another orgasm rocked her. All she could feel was Emily. All around her. About her. Inside of her.

She started losing feeling in her limbs as it hit her like shockwaves of hot lava pumping in her veins. After a few minutes she felt herself going completely limp in Emily's arms. She was defenseless to stop it. Alison tightened her grip on Emily as she slid into a state of ecstasy.

Having Alison so close to her body as she peaked again sent a roaring white flash of heat through Emily's body. A euphoric bliss that Emily had never felt before overwhelmed her. She gently sat Alison back against the desk as she kept her fingers in place, letting her ride it out. She slowly pulled out, her hot wet fingertips landing against Alison's inner thigh.

She pushed some sweat soaked hair out of the blonde's face, keeping her palm on her delicate skin as Alison heaved out heavy breaths. She peered into her deep blue eyes. They were darker than Emily remembered from the night they'd met.

Alison stared back at her, her palm against Emily's neck. They moved in at the same time for a kiss. But the heat of lust was gone. It was gentle and quiet. Alison smiled at her, and Emily thought she was going to melt into the carpet. They sat there, staring at each other, heaving, holding one another.

The room was quiet for several minutes as they both came down from it. It was Emily who spoke first.

"Maybe therapy isn't complete bullshit after all."

Alison snickered out a quiet giggle. She pecked Emily's lips again. Emily's mouth was tingling and when she pulled away she realized the room around her was starting to get blurry. For a half a second she was terrified it had all been a fantasy. But then she realized it was just exhaustion. Her knees gave out and she collapsed against the ground, her stomach clenching in pain. She gripped the edge of the desk and side of the armchair, trying to hold herself in an upright position.

"Whoa, hey…Emily?" Alison moved off of the desk, kneeling down next to her. She put her fingers against Emily's face. "Are you all right?"

"I should be asking you that question." Emily managed to feign a smile.

I'm the worst fucking therapist in the world. What did I just do? Alison felt immediate regret, almost like she'd taken advantage of the girl, though she knew that wasn't the case.

Emily quickly got her bearings, blaming it on the high of sex. She doubted Alison knew about her internal organs basically being useless. No way she would have let her do all that if she did know. Of course, she seemed to pry, so it would only be a matter of time before she found out. But that didn't matter. Because Emily was planning to be long gone before then.

"You take my breath away." Emily gripped the back of Alison's neck with her palm.

The silly quip made Alison blush.

"I…I uh…I don't normally do this." Especially not with clients.

"Then I guess I'm your favorite patient." Emily smirked. "That's covered with my insurance, right?"

Alison lifted her brow at her.

So fucking cocky. And so fucking hot.

Alison helped Emily to her feet. Emily dragged her feet several inches and then plopped down in the chair they'd defiled. She didn't think it would be a good idea to tell Alison that her feet were going numb. She knew it was a side effect of whatever the fuck was going on with her organs. She had the medications that Dr. Kingston had prescribed, but she wasn't sure she was going to take them yet. What was the point?

Alison pulled her clothing off of the floor and put everything back on. Then she weaseled her way in next to Emily. She had the urge to be next to her hot sweaty body as they both came floating back down to reality. Emily seemed both comfortable and uncomfortable with their close proximity. Alison couldn't stop staring at her.

This is so unhealthy. Alison thought to herself.

But she couldn't stop herself from delicately playing with Emily's hair, trying to straighten it and make it a little less obvious that they'd just had sex. She leaned against the brunette, resting her cheek against her collar bone as she stroked her arm. Emily felt goosebumps rising against the back of her neck and crawling down her spine. It had been a long time since she'd let anyone get this close to her.

"So, do I get an A+ in the class, or what?" Emily asked.

Alison laughed and rolled her eyes.

"We'll see." She quipped back, running her fingers over Emily's hip. "I'm grading on a curve."

"I've got a lot of those." Emily smiled a wicked smile at her. She moved her hand over and put it on Alison's inner thigh. She could still feel the heat radiating off of her skin through her skirt. "This is the weirdest therapy I've ever had."

Alison buried her face in her hands in embarrassment. She'd never been so tenacious in her love-making before. The unbridled spur-of-the-moment act of passion had given her a sort of control she liked. A power in which she could be demanding and blunt, but relaxed, open, and passive. The idea of knowing exactly what she wanted and not being afraid to ask for it made her feel empowered. But it also made her feel shitty as hell, because she knew it was wrong. She couldn't do this. She couldn't get involved with someone she was treating.

She pulled her hands away from her face, her cheeks flushed. Her dimples were the cutest thing Emily had ever seen.

"I hope that I helped…in some way." Alison bit her lip.

Watching Alison draw her lip in between her teeth made Emily's thighs twitch. Everything this fucking girl did had a line to her hormones.

"You've been very helpful." Emily reached down and cupped her ass. It was firm and round and it made Emily want to have another go at her, perhaps spin her around and take her from behind.

"So…um…what now? Am I…can I go, or…"

"I want to see you again." Alison suddenly realized what that sounded like and she quickly added, "In another therapy session. I feel like we've barely scratched the surface…"

"Oh, I was way beyond the surface. I was deep in it." Emily disagreed, giving her a seductive look.

"I'm being serious. I know you think that this is just bullshit, but I do know how to read people. And when I look at you I can tell that you're stronger than what hurt you."

"If that were true I wouldn't have ended up under that bridge four days ago."

"You want to know what I think?" Alison asked.

"Something psychoanalytic and completely made up?"

"I think that you're different."

Emily snorted.

"Got anything less generic? That's as laughable as astrology."

"It's hard for you to let people in."

"I literally just had sex with you."

"It's not the same as making yourself emotionally available. It's not the same as confronting your feelings. Sex and intimacy aren't the same thing. You were…" Alison's lips curled into a smile as she drifted off in thought. She could still feel Emily. And she could feel an empty void where she wanted her. "You were absolutely amazing."

Damn right I was…

"But you weren't in it. You didn't let me in. In fact, you worked hard to keep me out."

"I don't even know you. Do you fall in love with everyone you screw?"

"You're holding back a lot of pain and anger. I can see it. I can feel it. But it's more than just what happened to you overseas. This didn't just start there, did it?"

It made Emily feel uncomfortable. Because it was real. Too real.

Alison could see the pain on her face. She touched her hand. Emily recoiled and Alison backed off. They'd had sex. They'd touched each other. But clearly Emily wasn't ready to do anything else. And Alison didn't want to force her.

"Listen, I don't want to push it. But I meant what I said. I do want to know you…if you're willing. I really do think that this could be good for you. So why don't you come back? I'm here Tuesdays and Thursdays. But you can always reach me at the prevention hotline or at the home office."

Emily's gaze drifted away. She stared at a blemish on the wall.

"And maybe you should consider the anti-depressants…"

"No. I can't." She abruptly cut Alison off. "They tried to put me on those when I first got back. They fucked with my head worse than what happened to me over there." Emily's hands started shaking.

"Okay." Alison said. "Okay. Just the therapy then."

Emily thought about it.

"If I say yes, then what?"

"Then we can talk more."

"And…this?" She gestured between the two of them, clearly referring to the sex.

"Like I said, it was incredible. But I think we…" She sighed. "We clearly got caught up in the moment. If…" She hesitated, because she wasn't sure how she wanted to phrase the fact that she'd love to do it again, but that it wasn't conducive to Emily healing from her pain. It would just be a form of self-medication…for both of them, "…I just want to know you better."

Emily nodded.

She didn't say yes to more sex. But she didn't say no either. Still, Emily knew she would never see her again.

"Sure, blondie. I'll think about it." She moved to stand up.

Alison stood next to her. They both glanced at the door.

"I'm going to go tell the warden you're setting me free."

Emily reached down to pull the strap of her shirt up against her shoulder. It had slid down her arm when they were in the middle of their encounter. She turned to walk out, but Alison gently moved next to her.

"Emily, promise me one thing."

"What? No more suicide?" She sarcastically said as she threw her arms up jokingly. Joke is on you. I'll just let my body do the trick for me.

"I want you to call me if you ever feel the urge again." She walked over towards the desk to grab a pen and a scrap of paper. She scribbled her direct line down on the paper and handed it to Emily. "You can call me no matter what. I promise I'll always answer."

"Sure." Emily stuffed the sliver of paper in her pocket.

She turned her back to Alison and opened the door. She paused in the doorway. Walking away from the blonde was proving to be a lot harder than she thought. She could still taste her on her lips. And she had the urge to turn around and kiss her.

After a few seconds she paced forward, glancing back over her shoulder. Alison was watching her go, mentally kicking herself for crossing the line.

Emily got the feeling that Alison knew she wasn't going to call and she sure as hell wasn't going to come back. But she was respecting her decision to leave anyway. That's more than anyone had ever done for her.

When she got to the check-out desk Wren was waiting on her. He noticed the difference in her gait, the difference in how she was carrying herself.

"Complete your session?" Wren asked.

Oh, if you only knew…

Emily had a huge grin on her face. She discreetly licked her bottom lip and rolled her thumb in circles against her index and middle finger…the fingers that had been inside of her therapist.

"Yeah." Emily nodded. "And you know, I might just come again."

"That's fantastic news. I'm glad it helped."

Emily wasn't sure what kind of help he was referring to, but if she did decide to do therapy it wouldn't be for the kind of help the good doctor was thinking of.

She got her discharge paperwork and her written prescriptions and practically bolted out the sliding glass door. As she was walking away from the hospital she threw her middle finger up without looking back. But something changed in her mood when she looked over the written instructions.

"…suggesting ongoing therapy sessions with Alison DiLaurentis from Suicide Lifeline Network."

Alison DiLaurentis.

Emily stared at the name. She could still see her face from when they'd been in the throes of passion. She had been so fucking exquisite. She'd never seen anyone make those faces with her before. And having her look at her when she let go was such an amazing experience. She had looked right into her, her eyes boring into her soul.

Alison DiLaurentis.

That fucking name was going to haunt her until the day that she died, which she was hoping would be soon. Because it would be just her luck to get emotionally attached to someone again. It would be just her luck to fall in love when she'd practically been handed a death sentence.

She looked at the name again and sighed.

Fuck my life.

A/N: Definitely not the healthiest way to start a relationship. I was, as always, a neurotic mess writing the bedroom shenanigans. It's darker and more involved than the typical love scenes I write. My LGBTQ friends got a kick out of my neurosis though, because I'd hit them up and be like, "okay, look...sex proposition for you...two girls, one medical office, and...oh, shit, wait...that came out wrong. QUESTION! Sex question. Why are you not answering? Are you on your way to a medical office right now? Or are you too busy laughing at me?"