Despite the frantic state of his heart, Yamato exhibited sheer neutrality as he stood within Mimi's light grasp. She was about to kiss him, her arms already thrown loosely about his neck. The severe look on his face stopped her from laying her lips to his. She searched his face for an answer that was offered up before she could speak.

He told her simply, "I think we've gone too far."

A nervous smile came to her face, her stomach leaping anxiously. "Too far? What does that mean?"

"This is something we never should have started."

Her arms dropped lifelessly to her sides, light brown eyes holding his in a dead gaze. He watched every small change in her soft features as she crumbled before him, restraint lost to the overflow of grief. He stood in place, making no move to console her. What good could he possibly be to her now? How much pain could she have been spared if she had only left before he could repeatedly lay such a devastating strike to her heart?

She gave three knocks to Takeru's apartment door, biting her lip in anticipation. As the door opened, she smiled wide at the blonde.

"Yamato!"

He hesitated to speak, blue eyes looking her over. They had been separated for a week now, yet here she was beaming up at him as if he was not the heartbreaker he knew himself to be. It always amazed him how easy it was for her to forgive him. She took him back with open arms and a smile every time.

The bright smile she now wore slowly left as she told him, "Don't be mad...but, I'm here to see your brother."

He simply stared down at her, unmoving. She stepped closer to lay soft fingers to his chest, giving a nudge.

She tiptoed up to tell him in a quiet voice barely above a purr, "Come on, Ishida, move."

He gripped the door frame harder, his eyes held fast to hers with their sudden close proximity. He knew she was tempting him to react. Her enticing smile began to melt as a new look of worry took over her features. He watched as her eyes moved across his face.

With her eyes back to his, she asked, "What's happened to you?"

He hesitated in confusion. "Nothing."

She smiled dimly. "Looks like you're losing the fight."

Before he could think of a response, a male voice behind him spoke.

"Let her in already!"

Even with the interruption, he still didn't move until a hand landed on his shoulder. The matching blonde head of Takeru popped up beside him, grinning for the petite brunette. Yamato hesitated another moment before stepping aside. He made sure to shut the door with careful indifference, his heart still pounding.

He kept quiet as he made his way to the kitchen, fingers pressed to his eyes in frustration. He leaned against the counter, arms now crossed with a scowl as he listened to them converse in the living room. Takeru's cheerful voice met his ears first.

"I didn't think you'd get here until later. What is it?"

"I wanted you to try this."

She took off her pink tote bag to pull out a pastry box.

"Tell me what you think. I really want to impress him."

Takeru grinned, taking a caramel frosted cupcake from the box. "Yeah, sure!" After a bite, he told her, "This is so good, Mimi. But, wouldn't Yamato be better at this? He could say more on the complexities or whatever. You guys watch all those cooking shows together."

"Oh, he can try some too." She turned and threw her voice back to him in the kitchen, "Yama, come try."

"Save me one."

"Not hungry?"

Takeru shrugged and sat back, one arm atop the sofa behind her shoulders.

"Don't push too hard," he warned. "He's been in an awful mood without you. Every. Single. Day."

"Oh."

"I tell him the truth, he just stares at me." He gave a long look toward the kitchen before continuing. "I tell him every day, tell her you're sorry. How long does it take to figure things out? You want to go back as much as she wants you back. How many times have you been through this?"

They heard Yamato's deep sigh before his reappearance before them.

He glared at Mimi, asking her, "Who are those for?"

She raised both brows and turned her eyes to his brother. "Should I tell him, Takeru?"

He smiled. "Let him fume."

Yamato groaned, quickly going to grab his jacket by the door. Keys in hand, he asked without looking, "Mimi, are you coming?"

He stood by the bed, lost in thought as he stared at the time on his phone. He felt anxious, like he no longer belonged in her life. As much as he wanted her, she seemed unobtainable. He wanted to make her happy, but all he ever caused her was misery.

He put his phone away at the sound of her entering the room and turned to her with a forced smile. He had always chosen to push her away, but he couldn't keep it up anymore. He had to fix things. He had no idea what to say, but he wanted her close. With a tug to her elbow he brought her against him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, eagerly clinging to him. He pressed kisses to her hair, his lips reaching her forehead with a sigh. She had played it over so many times in her mind, her thoughts ran straight back to their last embrace.

"I gave you space, Yamato. Was it enough?"

He was taken aback, her words gripping him with guilt. He could feel the wetness at his shirt as she began to silently cry, her grasp of him tightening.

"I left you alone. Is it enough?"

He moved a hand to the back of her head, fingers slipping through the long strands. "I shouldn't have told you..."

"You could have changed this...I wanted you to." She pulled back to look him in the eye, but he looked down just as she tried. "Why did it have to be me?"

"It didn't have to be."

"How long would I have waited?"

His eyes fell away again and she felt her heart sinking at the sound of her name and nothing more. "Mimi..." He had no answer for her.

"You don't really want me, do you?"

Her words startled him, his eyes shooting up to hers. "That's not true!"

"Then why would you say it?"

He took her hand in his, leading her to sit with him on the bed.

"I've never said any of that. You really think I feel that way about you?"

She used her long sleeve to wipe at her eyes. "I made you those cupcakes and you wouldn't even try one."

"Those were for me?"

She moved on to more important matters, ignoring his query. "You know what bothers me the most, I'm the one who always comes to you."

"You were willing to give in, sweetheart. I wasn't."

In that moment she could only think of how much she had missed him. No matter how much he had hurt her, her heart ached to have him back as hers, for good. He pulled her into him, his hands grasping her damp face as he kissed her. He pulled partly away, his voice low as he spoke.

"I need you..." He kissed her again, a light touch of his mouth to hers. "...to stop letting me push you away."

She hated it, but she couldn't keep from smiling. Her head dropped to his shoulder, her hands slipping to his chest as she sank back down onto her legs.

"I love you," she said, "but, this only goes so far."

His hands caressed down her back, settling at her waist as he lifted her away from him, locking eyes with her. "You can't think this will last forever. It won't. We've gotten over this before, we always do. We move on."

She broke the intense contact of his eyes, focusing instead on the remaining space between them.

"Yamato, you have to make up your mind to stay."

"You're relentless." Her eyes snapped back to his at the remark, but he continued before she could speak. "It should be the other way around. It should be me. I don't expect you to stay...but I can't help wanting you to, no matter what I say...no matter what I do."

She bristled at his blatant disregard of her. He placed a tender hand to the side of her neck as he told her, "That doesn't mean you deserve that. You don't. You said you need me to change, I will. This won't happen again."

She winced inwardly at the familiar replay of words, forcing his hand away from her by his wrist. "How many times has this happened? Why should I have to miss you so much? I'm tired of this!"

He expected tears from the wounded look on her face, but none came. She glared at him with glistening eyes, anger fueling the hard push she gave to his chest to separate them. He knew she would get up, but he couldn't let her walk away. He held her by her forearms, keeping her in place. To his surprise she resisted him, pulling hard on his hold of her. He released her immediately, yet she remained seated.

Her look now was deflated, her anger diminished to nothing. She was the one who kept this up, he was right. It was her fault every time. She wanted to cry, so worn out from this back and forth and her own refusal to just let him go. She gave a small gasp as he unexpectedly pulled her body down to lay beneath him on the bed. He lowered himself over her and she smiled as he had hoped. She kept them apart just as he was about to claim his kiss, pushing against his shoulders.

"What is it?"

"You think I believe you?"

He stared down at her, momentarily shocked. "You don't trust me?"

"I don't want to trust you."

His weight pushed down on her arms as he kissed her, finding her as willing to return his affection as he knew she would be. After a moment her hands left his shoulders, letting them fall beside her head. He stopped kissing her as she suddenly became unresponsive. Lifting himself up, he found her on the verge of tears.

"I shouldn't have come over there today."

"Mimi..."

"I would have waited and you never would have even tried!"

He got off of her quickly as she began to cry beneath him, pulling her to sit up with him. She clung to him, crying into his neck with a heart-rending question.

"Why are you here?"

Yamato laid back against the pillows, his eyes stuck to the clock on the far wall. It was 3 a.m. and she was sound asleep on him, her head tucked under his chin. She had fallen alseep hours ago but he'd been unable to leave her. He had to be up early, but he couldn't bring himself to care. All he could think about was her loss of faith in him and their inevitable end. He was afraid he had pushed her away beyond retrieval.

He held on as gently as he could to lift her from him. He was sure her eyelids would flutter open as he laid her down, but she stayed in a deep slumber. His body hovered over hers, the long necklace he wore slipping out of his shirt to pool at her chest.

He leaned lower, making sure not to put pressure on her body. His eyes travelled from closed eyes to the rise and fall of her collarbone as she breathed deeply. He laid a light kiss there, then another to her half exposed shoulder. He had never meant to make her feel so unwanted. How was that possible? He would do anything to keep her.

He realized then, gazing at her sleeping form, what he had forgotten to say all night. His lips brushed the skin of her shoulder as he kissed her there once more. He moved closer, their bodies touching slightly now. With his lips just above her pale skin, he spoke a whispered truth he knew he had never said enough of.

"I'm sorry."