Missing Pt. IV
~.~
Regrettably, he let her go; As he released his hold on Kagome, he immediately mourned, feeling uneasy, like she would bolt the second flesh left flesh. He knew her better than that, his judgement told him that she would keep her word; That did little, however, to ease the panic rising in his gut that made him want to grab hold of her and press her tighter. Taking a deep breath and leaning back, she straightened her spine, sitting in the chair by his side, close enough to seem friendly, but far enough that he would be ripping wires to reach her. Not that that would stop him.
"So…" she started, drawing out the word; perhaps an attempt to make the situation less awkward and tense, but it just made Inuyasha feel antsy. He had been adamant that she stick around for a conversation, but now that he was faced with the reality of it, he was running short on ideas. How was he going to make her stay, to make her understand when she clearly had one foot out the door? No, it was worse than that.
She was gone.
She cut her hair, must have a new life. Was she seeing anyone? She certainly wasn't seeing him. Did she still live in the apartment, or did she move? Come to think of it, where did heeven live?
"Kagome…" He swallowed hard, her name sticking in his throat. "I don't- I-I cant wrap my head around this." He couldn't bring himself to look at her, choosing instead to fix his gaze on the crisp white sheets of his bed.
"I know." She replied sadly. "Well, I mean, I can imagine. This must be so confusing for you. From your stand point, I must be coming off as really cold." She bit her bottom lip before continuing. "I did try to see you. I'm really glad you're okay. Gods, I must sound like a broken record." She smiled a bit, not enough, not a true smile.
"Its just good to hear you." He returned her smile, small and gentle. "I woke up and I couldn't find you. I kept calling for you but…" Inuyasha shrugged, finally meeting her eyes. "I think they've got riot gear ready at the nurses station." He ran his right hand through his short locks, surprised once again at the choppy buzz cut. "I kind of had a meltdown."
"You? Lost your temper? That doesn't sound like you at all." She teased.
"Heh, well if you ever wake up with Miroku's face staring you down I think you'd lose it too." This evoked a laugh from her and he felt pride in that. It was a small victory, but one none the less. "Fair point." She conceded. He had asked her to stay, and it wasn't to talk about his perverted best friend. It was weighing on his chest, this unspoken weight. He needed to get through to her.
Inuyasha looked at her, amber eyes burning seriously. "I want to come home, Kagome." He could hear her breath hitch, his predator senses caught the way her mouth twitched.
"I-I can't- You can't." She started, clearly startled by his request. "We, we don't live together anymore." She managed. "You moved out… I think you might even live with Kikyo, I'm not sure." Kagome took a deep steadying breath then pouted her lips. "I think this is a conversation you need to have with her."
Inuyasha sat quietly for a minute, letting the silence settle over them. Closing his eyes, he shook his head, as if trying to piece together the broken pieces in his mind, a jumble of jigsaw pieces he couldn't make heads or tails of.
"You know, the last thing I remember… is apple picking." He smiled, watching Kagome carefully. Fall must have been quite some time ago. "Christ, how long ago was that? We made the plans like, a month in advance, you were so excited to make a damn pie and get cider. But then it- it rained and- fuck." The dog demon frowned, his last memory did not have the happiest ending, although according to the rest of the fucking world, there were worst stories he could remember. At least they were together in this one.
"Yeah, I was really disappointed." She nodded, confirming his story. "But then you got our umbrellas, and dug out our left over ponchos from when we visited Niagra Falls, those really gaudy neon green ones." She laughed a little, remembering for him. "We went apple picking in the rain, and got like, 3 huge bags of them. The owner thought we were crazy. And when we got back to the car the roads were so bad-"
"That we couldn't drive." He finished for her, a cocky smile revealing his sharp fangs. "I thought it would be fine, but you were nervous. Fuck, you went down on me just to make me just to make me pull over and park the car. That was very sneaky, Higurashi."
Kagome raised her brows, jaw slightly slack. "It was dangerous." She said.
"Keh, I'm not complaining." He smiled, and Kagome hated that she felt her stomach flutter, that he still had this effect on her. "The car really amplified your screams when you-"
"Shh!" Kagome jumped up from her seat, covering the hanyous mouth with her hands, nervously looking around to see if any nurses were ease dropping. With lightning speed, he licked her palm, causing her to yelp and move away. She hissed his name, although she wasn't angry, not really. It felt so natural, to play with her like this, to egg her on.
"I don't believe we broke up." He said, each word ruining the spell of their previous moment. Inuyasha shook his head in disbelief. "I can't." He swallowed hard. "I love you, so damn much."
"I don't know what you expect me to say to that." She said angrily. "I know time went in reverse for you, but Inuyasha, you moved on. You made a new life with Kikyo."
"My life is with you!" He yelled, causing the machine to beep once more. "Fuck!" He cursed, glancing in its direction, then back at her. He needed to calm down; Kagome was a patient woman, Gods knows more patient than he deserved, but flipping out now would only drive her away, he knew that much. He apologized, feeling embarrassed, torn between wanting to crawl under his bed and rip his hair out "I'll be leaving in two days if I keep this piece of shit from reacting." He motioned to the monitor. "I want to come home. Please, let me come home."
For a moment, she just looked at him, the man who was once so strong that he would lift her up without exerting the slightest bit of effort. He looked so desperate, and small even, wearing the hospital johnny in the railed bed. The last time she had seen him between the sheets he had looked invincible, like a warrior, his body pure sin, chiseled like some Greek statue, almost too good to actually exist. She wished she could go back, like he had, and crawl in with him, drink him in a little longer, love him one more time. But that wasn't reality, not anymore. It was tempting, Gods knew it was testing her will to not give in; but the man before her was a relic of the past, and as soon as he was caught up to speed, he would be gone.
And that was something she couldn't go through, not a second time.
Kagome shook her head, the salt from her tears blurring her vision. "I can't. I'm sorry."
~.~
"So, how did your meeting with Kagome go?" Mirkoku asked, pulling the arm chair close to the hospital bed. He reached over, handing his best friend a large brown paper bag, a container of hot ramen steaming inside. Inuyasha grunted his thanks, eagerly opening his prize. Hospital food was shit, and Myoga's Ramen House had no rivals; the smell alone had his stomach rumbling, a deeper hunger than he realized he had.
"Fucking depressing." He replied between slurps. "And confusing. But, alright, I guess, considering." He sighed, closing his eyes. "I don't know." Miroku raised his brows. "Alright, eh? That must mean there's some hope. I was surprised she even came at all."
"I didn't even know I needed hope, until you blissfully informed me that my life was over." He eyed Miroku, like it was somehow his fault that his life was in shambles. "Her just showing up was great." He swallowed. "The rest…" Inuyasha waived his hands at a loss for words. How could he sum up this fucked up situation? "I asked her if I could come home."
"Which, of course, she said no to." He scoffed, truly making Inuyasha feel like he was crazy for even asking. "You-"
"-Don't live together. Yeah, I fuckin' got it." Inuyasha covered his face with his hand, rubbing his temples as he did so. Miroku always brought a certain element of stress to his life, but this was the first time ramen was losing its flavor because of him.
"Maybe it's time to let her go." He said sympathetically. "She has her own life, you know? Since you broke up she-"
Inuyasha spread his fingers, peeking at Miroku as he spoke. "Do you want me to beat the crap out of you?" He asked. Miroku rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue.
"Such harsh words for the man who is taking you in. Are you sure you want to threaten your care giver, Inuyasha?"
"Its only temporary." He said, sitting up straighter. "I'll get her back."
Miroku laughed in disbelief. "No offense, but you don't even remember how you lost her. You don't have her number, or know where she lives or-"
"Feh, I'll find her." He tapped his nose. "She won't be hard to track down. She can't get away from me that easily."
Miroku blinked once, twice before he narrowed his eyes. "Are you- Are you openly admitting that you're going to stalk your ex-girlfriend?"
"Fiancé." He corrected. "and as far as I'm concerned, there's no 'ex'. We're just… postponing wedding plans right now."
"You are truly delusional, my friend. But you know- I've never seen you more optimistic." Miroku rested his palm against the hanyous forehead, as if checking his temperature. "Do they need to check your head again? Are you sure you're okay to come home with me?" Inuyasha pushed away Miroku's hand and scoffed.
"I'm not delusional. I love her- welove each other. It'll work out."
Miroku squinted at the silver haired dog demon. "Who even are you?"
"Hey, I need you to do me a favor." Inuyasha stated, more of a demand and less of an request.
"Ah, there's my pushy best friend. Back to normal." Miroku leaned back in his chair. "Me taking you into my humble home isn't enough?"
"I need you to go to Kikyo's house and get my shit." He answered.
"Excuse me?" The dark haired man balked. "Hell no. That's your drama."
"Listen," He started, "I'm going to need my stuff. The nurses told me that I don't even have an outfit to go home in, and as much as I know you admire my ass, I doubt everyone on the street is going be as appreciative." The hanyou rubbed the back of his neck, feeling more than irritated.
"Fine, I'll bring you some clothes." He answered snappily. "Why don't you just ask Kikyo yourself? Didn't she say she was coming in today?"
Inuyasha waved him off. "I put her on the no entry list."
"You what?" He questioned.
"No entry. As in 'Crazy life ruining ex-girlfriends from high school are not welcome within 50 feet of my hospital room. The last thing I need is Kagome thinking I'm talking to her. Besides, she makes my blood pressure spike."
"So you had her banned? Without even talking to her? Inuyasha she's your girlfriend."
"The last time I can remember having a conversation with her was fucking high school." Inuyasha grunted. "I don't need to explain my decisions to her. And shes not my damn girlfriend."
"Right. You doknow you live with her?" Miroku folded his arms across his chest.
"Which is exactly why I need you to get my shit. I can't give Kagome the wrong impression." Miroku leaned back in shock. Inuyasha was so sure of himself that his nonsense almost sounded sane.
"This is an enormously bad idea." He argued. "You've been dating Kikyo for months."
Inuyasha eyed him cautiously, then leaned forward with a whisper. "But was I happy?" The hanyou asked, his voice low, afraid. "Did I seemhappy?" Even though his gut told him the answer, that there was no possible way that he could have found peace with anyone but his fiancé, he had to ask.
Miroku pressed his lips together in a tight line before answering, blue eyes searching amber. He was cautious when he spoke. "Honestly, I don't know. I didn't see you much. I figured it was new love bliss." He shrugged. "But anytime I tried to talk to you about it, you shut down the topic real quick." He looked down, letting his unconfirmed theories of his best friends unhappiness settle. "You really think you can get her back?" He asked.
"I have to." He said seriously. "She's the most important thing in my life. Its like…" He breathed deeply before finishing. "Its like I was born to be with her." He looked away at his admission, a slight blush gracing his cheeks.
Miroku screwed up his nose at Inuyasha's tender confession, a side of him he had never seen before, and honestly, could do without. But maybe it was just that he had never seen his best friend desperate. They had always been a good couple, a great one actually, the right mix of playful and loving, the kind of relationship that seemed steady, too sure to crack. Apparently, the loss of Kagome was enough to make him sink. "Fine," He said, throwing up his hands in surrender. "I'll get your things." Inuyasha gave a quick nod of appreciation.
"This is going to be epically awkward." Miroku sighed. "I can't believe I'm going to do this. I'm basically breaking up with Kikyo for you." He eyed Inuyasha crossly. "How did I get sucked in to doing your dirty work?"
Inuyasha tapped his head. "Brain damage, remember?" He gave his friend a slick smile.
"Ohhh, that excuse is already getting old."
~.~
This chapter took foreveeeer for me to write. I wasn't super happy with how it turned out, but I couldn't seem to make it better. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it, and thanks as always for reading! 3