"I am pregnant" she says. With those three simple words the blood drained from my face. I suddenly felt lightheaded falling to the couch, instantly thankful its softness caught my fall. I cradled my head in my hands and forced myself to breathe. I am preg-nant, the four syllables that had brought me to my knees. I sat dumbfounded. I am pregnant. The power that sentence held over me was unbearable but completely undeniable. "Pregnant" I whispered softly.
I suddenly began to panic, catastrophic images filling my mind. I am just 16 years old; I can't be anyone's dad I thought. What am I going to do? I was visibly shaking. How am I going to take care of a baby? A baby. A real live person who will depend on me for the rest of its life. I was suffocating and couldn't catch my breath my world was reeling. I was going to be sick. Breathe, I told myself again.
How could this happen? I asked myself. It was only one time. How could my life change so drastically over one time? We waited so long and when we finally did, we weren't careful. We should have been careful. I should have made sure of it. I mentally kicked myself.
Then I looked up. She wasn't crying but she was obviously on the brink of falling apart. She stood there, lip quivering. Noticeably feeling the same despair, I felt moments ago. Her terrified eyes were filled with tears. Those beautiful soft blue eyes I loved.
Images of us permeated my psyche. I abruptly remembered that night and how her soft body felt against mine. I remembered the feeling of her head against my chest. The memory of her lips against mine was so strong I could almost feel it. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. I felt and urgent immediate need to protect her. I stood up and pulled her against me. I held her there and without warning sobs began to rock her body. I took her face in my hands so I could look into my eyes then said, "I love you Sandy and I love our baby". She continued to cry as I clutched her tightly. Our baby I thought, and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.