The Path to Redemption

Missing scene from 'Redemption'

"Whatcha doin?" Jack says after standing in the doorway for a few minutes. Carter hasn't noticed him yet. She's so emerged in whatever numbers flicker over her screen. When she looks up, she has this hazy expression on her face. He doesn't catch her often like this, but when he does, it makes his insides warm and fuzzy.

"Analyzing the data that came through the gate. There must be a way…"

"You know that we just solved that problem," he interrupts her and steps closer. "In fact, I just ejected out of a hyperspace spaceship after saving the world—again."

She smiles that Carter smile of hers and tilts her head.

"Yes, Sir. I'm glad you're back," she says, and for a moment, Jack wonders if their old intimacy is back. But then she looks away, and it's gone.

Ever since Daniel's death, things are different. And he's to blame for it. Carter had reached out to him. Made clear that she needed him to get through their loss. But he had retreated into his protective shell and locked her out. It's not the same, but yet it is in many ways similar to when Charlie died. He hadn't been able to share his feelings with Sarah just like now he isn't able to share them with Carter. It has created an abyss between them, and the rope he's trying to throw over to get back onto her side is too short.

"Shouldn't you be packing?" Jack says and is heart picks up a beat because not even a half a year ago, they had talked about what could be if the war were over. Not even three months ago, they had almost slipped after saving earth from that asteroid. Now they saved Earth yet again, and even though the constant threat isn't over, the Stargate program is.

"Yeah. I guess I can analyze that later," Carter says and closes her laptop.

"In Nevada?" he asks a question that is more a statement.

She lifts her eyebrows in surprise.

"Common Carter, they've been up my ass ever since you invented that particle beam thingy," Jack says and leans casually against the table. She invented the beam to bring him back, but right now, he's further away from her than ever.

"I haven't really thought about it… We'll have to build bigger ships for defense now that we can't use the gate."

Jack nods, once again not knowing how to continue this conversation, let alone where to take it. The situation is loaded. If they were co-workers, they would talk about the next moves in their careers. If they were team members, they would tell each other that the time with SG-1 had been the best in their lives. If they were friends, they would decide to go for dinner and assure each other to stay in contact. In some way, they are all of the above, but in the most crucial way, they are none of it. Suddenly there is the possibility that has never presented itself before but maybe because they have drifted apart or perhaps because they are both not the kind of people that throw themselves into emotional adventures they don't know what to do with it.

"What are you going to do, Sir?" Carter asks.

"Fishing?" he says with a dorky smile, and Carter huffs just like the last time he had said that. She looks at him with big, challenging eyes.

His brain starts to entertain the thought of inviting her again. The idea wanders from his brain to his heart, where it causes a nervous flutter. When his brain notices the reaction of his heart, it starts to wonder if it's too soon—if they need more time before he can ask her. Because, what if she says no? This time there is no apparent reason to decline other than that she is not interested in spending time with him. This new thought wanders from his brain back to his heart, and the light flutter is replaced with a crunching feeling. Before this inner dialogue between heart and brain can continue, Carter says, "I can't believe that it's over. Just like that."

"Yeah," he says. He can't believe it either.

"Who would have thought that you and I are the last ones left?"

He's not sure if she is saying what he hears, so he decides to stick to safe grounds.

"Teal'c is fine. He's with his family, leads the Jaffa resistance, fights the Goa'Uld. He likes doing all of it. Hey, maybe he'll come and visit by ship," Jack says, practicing an old skill of his–playing things down. He wants to add that maybe Daniel will come back too, but this topic is still their weak point, and he doesn't want to destroy the little bit of connection they are having right now.

"He'll probably enjoy spending more time with Rya'c," Carter says, and he sees her thoughts wander off.

"Your dad has a ship too," Jack says, and judging by the thankful smile on her face, he read her right. Maybe this is the right moment. Not to jump to impetuous measures but to tell her that he hopes this is not a goodbye. The realization hits him that from now on, his life will be without Carter on his side. They won't be a team anymore and neither anything else. It's not the right time. Whatever there was between them has changed into something new, and he doesn't yet know what. Maybe time will tell what they feel. Perhaps distance will reveal if they have the strong connection he thought they had.

"Well, last time I checked Nevada and Minnesota are on the same planet," Jack says.

A soft smile flutters over Carter's face and comes to rest in her eyes. She lets out a breath—it's shaky and reveals the emotions bottled up in her. It's the first time Jack can see through her and the first time since Daniel's ascended that he feels they can be good again.

"It's not a goodbye," Carter says, and it's half question, half statement.

"It's not," he answers, maybe too quickly, but so what.

The words swing over the abyss between them and form a fragile suspension bridge that looks wobbly, but Jack knows it's strong enough for whatever they will send its way. Not now, but maybe in the future, they can turn it into a more permanent bridge, and perhaps even further in the future, they'll be back on the same side of the gorge. But before Jack can test the bridge, Walter appears in the doorway.

"Colonel, welcome back," Walter says. "General Hammond is waiting for you in his office."

Jack nods at Walter and out of the corner of his eye, notices how Carter slightly flushes. The lovely light pink is a good sign.

"Packing then," he says and heads for the exit when her words stop him.

"I'm bringing cake."

"Cake?"

"To Hammond's bbq."

He can't stop the smile from spreading and his heart from opening.

"What kind of cake?"

"I thought chocolate."

"With extra frosting?"

She nods. "Yeah, someone I know really likes cake."

"That someone must be pretty amazing when Doctor Major Samantha Carter is making a cake for him."

She smiles and grabs a random thing on her desk.

"I've got packing to do, Sir."

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