A/N: This one is more than a rollercoaster. It's a damn rocketship being pulled into a crazy gravity forcefield. Prepare yourselves.
Chapter 19:
Scars of a Survivor
The plan was straightforward enough. All they had to do was lure him to the Poconos. Shana and her team were going to try and get him to follow Emily to a secluded location, where there would be a sting task force already in place.
Caleb had spread the word to the right kind of the wrong people in town. He'd gone fishing and he'd captured Emily's white whale. The FBI had been monitoring every CCTV and security camera for miles outside of town. They'd finally gotten a hit at a gas station at a road eighty miles away from the cabin that morning.
The girls had been on edge as they waited for the call. Alison panicked when the phone rang. Emily was strangely calm. Shana came over with lunch so they could go over the plan.
"If you know where he is can't you just go intercept him and arrest him before he gets here?" Alison asked. "Or set up a roadblock or something."
"We know what direction he's traveling, but we don't know what route he's going to end up taking. And we don't have the authorization to shut down a highway for a suspected felon…"
"He is a felon." Alison argued.
"Hey, calm down." Emily rubbed her arm. "Look, I know him. I spent years learning how he operates. If he suspects a set up he'll go back into hiding. This is our one shot."
"How are you not freaking out right now?"
Because I'm going to shoot the motherfucker in the face.
"Because only one of us can freak out at a time." Emily put her hand on top of Alison's. "They can't bring him in without probable cause. They don't have any evidence. He covered his tracks."
"You have literal physical proof on your body." Alison lifted her shirt.
Emily jerked her hand away from Alison's and pulled her shirt down. She didn't like feeling exposed with Shana in the room. Shana glanced away. Emily appreciated her discretion.
"That isn't admissible in court." Emily smoothed her shirt down. "You're forgetting I served overseas. Nothing on my body can prove what he did to me."
"What about all the times he…" Alison stopped herself and glanced at Shana. Shana got up and walked over to the counter to try and give them a little space. She poured some coffee in a cup and then put it in the microwave to create a little ambient noise. Alison looked at Emily and took her hand as she lowered her voice, "You said Ethan went with you when you…" She looked at Emily's stomach. She didn't want Shana to overhear. She was trying to be discreet for Emily's sake, "…that he held your hand…"
"We didn't use any real information on the forms when I had the abortion."
"What about DNA or…"
"Ali, I never went to the hospital. I never had a rape kit done. I was a kid. I was scared." She'd been too scared that he would hurt Ethan. "There is nothing in any records that can nail him. We have to get him on tape coming after me…or confessing."
"This is such bullshit. Why should you have to put yourself in danger to prove what a psycho he is?"
"Take it up with the justice system."
Shana pulled her coffee out of the microwave and walked back over towards them.
"We know that he's on his way. We know he'll be looking for Emily," Shana said, sitting down at the table. "He'll be watching. So all we've got to do is set up a controlled situation where Emily is alone. We'll stage an argument somewhere in public where he can see." She pulled out a folder with a bunch of loose pieces of paper. She pulled out a detailed map. "After you and Ali go your separate ways you're going to walk into this liquor store…" She pointed to the map.
"But she's not really getting alcohol, right?" It made Alison nervous to think about Emily doing something this dangerous when she was drunk. She had been doing so well with her sobriety.
"Right." Shana looked at Alison. She'd been answering Alison's concerns at every turn, trying to make her feel better about the idea. She looked at Emily. "We'll have someone undercover there who is going to give you a bottle of water wrapped in a brown paper bag. Take a sip every so often. And walk with an uneven gate. We need him to think you're not going to be a threat."
"Got it." Emily nodded. Shana had been over the plan with her a dozen times already. Emily was comfortable with it. The only reason they had to keep going over it was because of Alison's fears. "Someone will be with Alison, right? She's not going to be alone?"
"We're going to have plain clothes officers on Alison right away. She'll be with us."
"Where?" Emily asked.
"Oh, now you're worried?" Alison asked. "When I'm the one in danger?"
"You're not going to be in danger. Neither am I. That's the whole point of letting Shana lead this."
"No offense, but I once saw Shana run directly into a low hanging tree branch after we took off into the woods after stealing a bottle of my mother's finest champagne."
"I held on to that bottle though," Shana said with a smirk.
"That's not the point. The point is that it was your idea and it went to shit."
"We were twelve." Shana rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, and the only difference is that now you've got a gun and a badge. And instead of Rosé, it's the balance of Emily's life that's hanging in your hands."
Emily had heard enough. She dropped her palms against the table and glared at her girlfriend.
"Drop it."
Alison felt like throwing a tantrum and storming out of the cabin, but she knew Emily would just yell at her for putting herself in danger. So instead she just sat at the table fuming while Emily and Shana discussed the plan.
After they were done Shana left to go get everything set up. She also knew that they were going to need some time alone to process everything, especially Alison. Shana knew from experience that Alison was a very strong-willed person and when she felt passionately about something that wasn't going her way she imploded.
Emily wasn't at all surprised to find Alison blowing off steam on the treadmill in the basement. It's not like they could go outside to exercise. The cabin fever was starting to take its toll on both of them. The plan of drawing a murderer into a trap with Emily as bait had only exacerbated things.
Alison heard her coming down the stairs, but she didn't give her the satisfaction of turning around and addressing her. She made Emily come to her.
"Hey, Shana is going to be back in a few hours. She's going to get some things set up. We're going to move on it tonight."
"Why are you telling me? I clearly don't get a say." Alison brushed her off angrily.
Her posturing didn't scare Emily in the least. Alison was all bark and no bite. Emily knew how much she loved her. She also knew Alison was a raging bitchbaby when she was mad.
"Don't be like that." Emily reached up to touch Alison's hand.
Alison jerked her hand away and angrily punched her finger against the treadmill's controls to a higher setting. She started huffing as she increased her speed. Emily moved in front of the treadmill so Alison couldn't ignore her.
"You'll thank me when we're on our way back home."
"Not if you get yourself killed."
"Ah, she speaks." Emily smiled.
Alison finally looked at her, a scowl on her face. But Emily's smile made it incredibly difficult to ignore her.
"Don't do that." Alison complained.
"Do what?" Emily shrugged innocently.
"Stop smiling at me."
Emily kept her eyes on Alison as she walked over to the large yoga mat on the floor. She pulled her shirt off and adjusted her sports bra without saying a word.
You little shit.
Alison knew exactly what Emily was doing. Emily's muscles bulged as she limbered up with some stretches. Alison hated her for being so hot.
"You need a membership to work out here." Alison gave her a hard time.
"I'm sleeping with the owner." Emily stretched to the side.
Alison watched her breasts bounce as she moved. Emily saw her watching. Alison tried to turn away. She felt like a kid who got her hand caught in the cookie jar.
"You can't stay mad at me forever." Emily sat against one of the workout benches. "Not when I'm flashing the twins at you."
That broke Alison. She snorted out a laugh.
"The twins? Since when do they have names?"
"Venus. And Serena." Emily popped her chest out.
"I'm still mad at you." Alison slowed her pace down to a walk.
"When are you not mad at me?" Emily stood up and walked over to her. Alison was more receptive to her company this time. "I'm honestly surprised it took you this long to get sick of me."
Alison mashed her finger against the button on the treadmill and the machine cut off. She stopped walking.
"You get that I'm only pissed because I care about you, right?"
Emily handed her a towel to dab away some of her sweat. She wanted to lick it off of her body, but she couldn't tell if Alison was mad-mad or I want you to fuck me-mad.
"You're thinking worst case scenario…"
"We're in the worst case scenario. He's coming for you. And there's nothing we can do."
"That's where you're wrong. We can get ready for him. And we're not doing this alone. I keep trying to tell you that. Getting Shana involved was your idea in the first place."
"I wasn't expecting her to dangle you in front of him like a lamb before the slaughter."
"I'm insulted that you think I'm a lamb, but also a little turned on that you think I'm truly that soft." Emily put her hands on Alison's waist.
"It's not that I think you can't handle yourself. I know you can." Alison traced the ink on Emily's bicep. "It's just that I'm not ready for this. And I'm afraid you're not either. I'm afraid that when you see him it's going to hurt you so badly that you're going to get lost again."
Emily gently reached up to cup Alison's face.
"I won't. Because I have you. And after this is over we get to go back to living our lives. We get to go home."
Alison couldn't help but smile when she heard Emily call it "home".
"I miss it. I miss my friends. I miss my dumb dog."
"Have you talked to Aria or Spencer lately?"
"I talked to Spencer yesterday. I told her you kidnapped me and that we've run off to Mexico."
"Ali…you didn't." Emily pulled back to look at her.
Spencer had accepted their relationship, but sometimes Emily got the feeling the prickly lawyer still didn't trust her.
"Oh, relax. I told her we were doing some spa shit for our mental well-being as a couple." She looked around the exercise area. "Which isn't a total lie. Some of our closed door therapy sessions here have really cleared my pores." Alison squeezed Emily's ass cheek.
"Whoa, hey." Emily hadn't been expecting the ass squeeze. Alison's emotions were all over the place.
"Treadmill is yours if you want it. I'm going to take a shower." She pulled away from Emily and walked towards the steps. She paused at the bottom of the stairs and glanced over her shoulder with a smoldering expression on her face.
Emily realized Alison was definitely 'I want you to fuck me'-mad.
She let Alison sweat it out for a few minutes. She puttered around in the basement until she heard the water running. Then she jogged up the stairs and quickly went after her.
She stripped out of her clothes and joined her in the bathroom. Steam was rapidly filling the air. The mirrors were already fogged up. Emily opened the shower door and stepped inside behind Alison.
A cascade of water was pouring over Alison's body as she rubbed shampoo into her hair. She looked over her shoulder and smiled at Emily. It was common for them to seek each other out when the other was upset. And as much as they had been teasing one another Alison was still very upset, and Emily could sense it. And she understood it. Who wouldn't be upset if their partner was in danger?
She moved up behind Alison, her pelvis meeting Alison's ass. She reached up to cup her breasts. She kissed the side of her neck and pulled her close. She swayed with her for a few seconds and then moved her hand up against her scalp, massaging the shampoo into her hair.
Alison closed her eyes to keep the suds from getting into them. She turned around, Emily helping guide her so she wouldn't slip. She leaned back to let the shampoo wash out of her hair. Emily watched the soapy mixture dripping down her chest.
When Alison opened her eyes and looked at Emily she felt a tightness in her chest. She couldn't bear the idea of her in danger again. She didn't understand how Emily could be so cavalier about it. She felt like crying. Instead, she gently gripped her cheeks and softly moved her lips against Emily's.
Alison could sense the brunette's every emotion, and she could feel her determination in her movements. She could also sense her pain…her fear. Or perhaps it was her own fears and insecurities. Perhaps this was the one time that Emily was poised and assured.
Alison didn't know she was crying. She didn't feel the hot tears slipping down her face with the steady stream of water. Emily immediately saw the tears. She recognized the difference in Alison's kiss. She could feel it. She could taste it. The hint of salt. The pain. The fear. The feeling of sorrow.
Emily knew that she couldn't say anything to take it away. If she'd learned anything from being with Alison it was that feeling the pain was part of the process. It was there for a reason. It was there because she cared…because she loved her.
She slowly moved Alison until her back was pressed up against the tile wall. Alison's hand fell lazily against Emily's side. Emily moved her palms against the curves of Alison's hips.
She kissed her cheek and then slowly started to pepper kisses against her jaw, down her shoulder. She held her hands against Alison's side as she kneeled in front of her. She kissed the divot in her chest and the underside of her breasts.
She stopped at Alison's stomach, swirling her tongue against the top of her bellybutton. She felt Alison's stomach clench underneath her touch. She continued to tease her, kissing her slippery skin as she moved one of her hands down between Alison's folds.
She felt Alison's hands against her shoulders, gripping her for support. Emily rubbed her fingers against Alison's core, feeling the hot liquid that had gathered there. She gently pried Alison's legs apart and moved her head down further, until her tongue met Alison's wetness. Even with the tap water flowing around her, she could taste her.
She alternated between her tongue and her fingers as she slowly built Alison to her height. Alison had to grab the shower door for support. She gripped Emily's head with her other hand and could feel her moving with every stroke of her tongue.
When Emily felt her getting close she slipped two fingers into her and started pumping slowly. She increased her tempo until she had Alison moaning her name out in between her harsh breaths.
Emily continued to thrust her fingers as she moved her mouth up against the front of her pelvis. She slowly started kissing her way up Alison's body again. She kept her rhythm as she moved off of her knees and moved forward to kiss her. Alison pushed back against the kiss harshly, bucking herself against Emily's motions, chasing her high.
Alison's back hit the tile wall and she felt Emily's tongue prodding into her mouth with the same amount of exuberance as her fingers exploring her depths. Emily reached up with her free hand and pinched Alison's nipple.
Alison felt her body seize again. She gripped Emily's shoulders for support as her body trembled out of control. Emily could see the change in her eyes…the darkness of lust overtaking her crystal blue irises. She watched as her pupils slowly retracted as she came down from her high. Emily pulled out and circled her sensitive entrance.
When Alison was able to breathe again she moved in to kiss her again. Alison tugged Emily's bottom lip into her mouth and gripped her side. Their kisses became less aggressive as Alison's fingers moved down the front of Emily's body.
As her hand continued its descent she kept her eyes focused on Emily's, watching her for discomfort or flashes of anxiety. She always paused before touching her to give her time to tell her to stop.
Before she could even ask, Emily grabbed her hand and moved it down. She leaned forward.
"I'm okay," she whispered, her lips vibrating against Alison's.
Alison smiled confidently into their embrace and pushed her hand between Emily's thighs. Even through all the steam in the shower she could feel the difference in the heat in between her legs. She ran her fingertips through her legs, coating her finger in Emily's wetness. She rubbed her fingers back and forth, giving Emily time to mentally prepare.
She reached up and touched Emily's cheek, demanding her attention. Alison pressed a soft kiss against her lips and slipped one finger into her.
Feeling her touch still surprised Emily, but she didn't panic anymore. Alison was always gentle with the first thrust. She never knew what might send Emily careening back into her past. She added a second finger and then slowly built up a rhythm, increasing her speed and depth.
Emily felt a hot flash of pleasure roll over her body when Alison twisted her fingers and roughly pushed forward. Emily gasped. Alison hesitated for a split second because she thought she'd hurt her, but Emily pulled Alison's body against hers and grasped her ass, trying to deepen the motion. Alison felt Emily's chest heaving and then she felt her shudder.
Emily's fingers found their way to Alison's sensitive core again. She plunged into Alison's depths again. Alison had to concentrate to stay focused.
They were lost in a flash of hands grasping and tongues clashing. Their fingers moved unapologetically. Their bodies slipped together in the hot steamy water. The noises they made bounced off of the wall and echoed throughout the empty cabin.
Emily cried out when she felt her body clench around Alison. The blonde watched as she became lost in the sensation. Emily pushed a heavy kiss against Alison's lips and groaned into her mouth. Their eyes met. Alison saw her pleasure peaking.
Please tell me you love me. Alison was begging in thought. She needed to hear it.
But Emily couldn't say much of anything. She was too busy concentrating on Alison's motions. She still wasn't used to the feeling that came with the pleasure. Sometimes it was almost too much for her. She felt like her heart was going to burst.
Emily slipped and fell back against the shower door, nearly toppling to the floor as she came. The orgasm was the most intense she'd had yet. Her body was out of her control. It was still a scary feeling to her. Alison could see a hint of fear in her eyes.
"Fuck." Emily groaned, her eyes clamping shut. "Ali…"
"Hey…I've got you." She moved closer. "I've got you," she said softly.
When Emily opened her eyes she saw Alison's eyes inches from hers. She moved forward just enough so their lips met. She held Alison's gaze as she tightened around the blonde's fingers. She felt her chest clutching and a roaring wave of heat in her stomach rapidly expanding, like a volcanic eruption.
Both of their hands started moving quicker. They were chasing the other's release, waiting on one another.
Emily couldn't hold out. She felt it washing over her and she couldn't breathe. She jerked her lips away from the blonde's lips and gasped, moving her forehead forward to touch Alison's. She muttered Alison's name against her face and started to tremble. Her breath came out in heated gasps against Alison's face.
She clamped down on Alison's fingers so hard that it felt like her body was never going to let her go. She curled her fingers inside of Alison and felt her tightening. She gripped the side of Alison's neck.
"I want you with me."
Alison felt her peak hitting her. She peered into Emily's eyes.
"I'm always with you."
Emily nodded, keeping her eyes fixed on Alison's. Alison's lips found Emily's and they stayed together as the shower turned into a sanctuary of euphoric bliss. Emily felt herself open in ways she'd never opened. She felt exposed…and she was okay with it. Her eyes were trained on Alison's. She felt like she could see the wonders of the world in her eyes.
Emily saw the tiniest hint of a satisfied smile on Alison's face. It was a smile Emily knew was just for her. She knew that no one else made Alison feel the way she made Alison feel. And Emily knew it was the same for Alison.
Emily kissed her as they hit their highs together. Their eyes met, and Emily felt a river of emotions cascading through her. She looked at Alison and she felt it. It was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't speak.
I love you.
Alison saw the flicker in Emily's eyes. And she knew. She knew that Emily was thinking it. She could feel it. And as much as Alison wanted to say it back, she was at the mercy of her body. All she could do was moan and clutch Emily's slippery shoulder with her free hand as they both fell into their pleasure.
They stilled their motions and kissed as the water beat against them, their bodies connected in the most intense embrace that either had ever experienced.
Alison laid her head against Emily's shoulder, her cheek resting near her clavicle. Emily wrapped her arm around the small of Alison's back and kissed her forehead.
They stayed in the shower until the water turned tepid. Emily reached to turn the water off. She pushed the door open and grabbed a towel hanging from the rack. She wrapped it over Alison's shoulders and they both stepped out of the shower. Emily backed Alison against the counter and kissed her. They smiled at one another, bathing in the steam in the room. Emily pecked Alison's lips again.
"I can't feel my feet." Alison grinned against Emily's mouth.
"Me either." Emily chuckled.
They were both still reeling. There was a beat of silence and then Emily combed her fingers through Alison's hair.
"Want to go again?"
Alison put her hands on Emily's hips and grinned as she slowly pushed her out of the room. They moved into the bedroom. Alison dropped her towel and fell back on to the bed, pulling Emily with her.
Their hands explored each other's bodies. Their kisses were light and innocent as they rolled around on the mattress, both girls fighting for dominance. Emily gave in, letting Alison win. She knew the blonde needed a win. Plus she liked looking at her from below. She loved seeing her breasts above her. She loved feeling Alison's weight on her.
"I win." Alison kissed her and smiled.
Emily played coy.
"Fair and square."
They heard a chiming noise. It was Emily's phone. She glanced at it. It was Shana checking in. Seeing the message on the screen was a mood-killer for Alison. She sighed and rolled off of Emily.
Emily put her phone down and pulled the smaller girl into her arms.
"I'm sorry this is what it's come to." Emily kissed the top of her wet head. She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to straighten it out.
"Don't be. I'd do anything for you. I knew the night we met that you were someone special."
"Why did you care so much? I mean, you deal with people like me all the time, right? Why did you decide that I was something more?"
"When you called the hotline I could hear how much you needed someone who cared. I could hear your life…your story. I didn't know who you were, but I knew you. It was like you were in my veins…in my heart. And I wanted more than anything for you to understand that I wasn't just listening to you. I heard you." She played with Emily's fingers. "When I found you I panicked. This weird rush of emotion…this need to protect you kicked on. Because I knew…I knew it was going to be me and you for the rest of our lives. I knew I couldn't lose you."
Emily had always known how much Alison cared. She'd never understood it, but she could see it. And now she could feel it.
She slid her fingers in between Alison's fingers and gripped her hand.
"My whole life I've kept people at just enough distance so that I'd be just a blip in their lives. It's like…if something happened to me…if I died…they might feel a little sorrow, but they'd think about how little they actually knew me. They'd be sad for a little while, but then they'd just forget me. Because what kind of impact have I really made?" She looked at Alison. "I didn't think I would ever find anyone who would care…who would think about me for the rest of their lives."
"I think about you even when I'm with you." Alison pecked her lips. "I'm thinking about you right now."
"I know. I can see it in your eyes." Emily traced her jaw line.
The scar on Emily's wrist caught Alison's eye. She thought about that a lot, too. She couldn't think about Emily without thinking about her pain. She reached up and gently gripped her fingers. She turned her wrist over to look at the healing blemish.
"Do you still think about dying?"
"It's complicated." She sighed. "You know, when I close my eyes I do. I think about it. I imagine it. I see it happening. But I don't want to act on it. It's just there." She looked at Alison. "But when I open my eyes it goes away."
"What's the difference between when your eyes are closed and when they're open?"
"I can see you."
Emily kissed her, lovingly stroking her face as their lips melded together. They stayed in bed for hours, just waiting on the call. Because they knew it was coming.
When Emily's phone buzzed she picked it up and looked at the screen.
"Shana is ready for us."
"Are you ready?" Alison sat up against the headboard, pulling the covers up over herself.
To face the man who had abused her her entire life? To face the demons she'd carried inside for years? To face herself?
"Yeah." Emily sat up next to her. Alison had done so much for her. She'd taken such good care of her. And Emily knew it was time to repay the favor. "It's my turn to take care of you. I want to. For us. Because I want a life with you, Alison."
"You don't have to do this for me."
"It's not for you." She stroked Alison's thigh. "I can't be the person I want to be…I can't go on until I know he's out of my life."
"I still think this is a terrible idea."
"I have to do this."
"I know." Alison swallowed a knot in her throat. "That's what makes you Emily."
They both slid out of bed and slowly started to get dressed. The room was quiet.
o ~ O ~ o
Alison had been a nervous wreck the entire Uber ride. They were on their way to a popular diner. One of the undercover agents was their driver. There were several more in the restaurant they were going to. They'd been carefully planted.
Alison tried to keep it together, but Emily could tell she was anxious. The blonde barely touched her dinner. And she jumped every time she heard a noise. She gripped her fork like it was a weapon. Any time anyone got near them she tightened her hold on it.
Her behavior worked slightly to their advantage, because if he was watching it would look like Alison was neurotic about being seen. That's exactly how someone should act when they were being hunted.
But she was also drawing unwanted attention to them, so Emily reached out over the table for Alison's hand. Alison nearly jumped out of her seat when she felt Emily touch her. She hadn't been paying attention.
"Hey, take a breath," she said quietly. "This has to look natural."
Alison nodded and then shoved Emily's hand away. It was part of the plan, but it still hurt Emily for Alison to shut her out.
"How are we doing?" Emily whispered, knowing her mic would pick it up.
"We're in position."
"Any sign of him yet?"
"Not yet, but we aren't expecting him to be out in the open. Stick to the plan."
"Take your time, Ali." Emily glanced at her.
All this hinged on people believing that they were bickering. They hadn't done much fighting. They hadn't done much talking at all. They'd been easing their way into it. Alison took a deep breath and then shoved her plate away and glared at Emily.
"I'm sick of you telling me what to do!" Alison grit her teeth. Yelling at Emily was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. She felt tears stinging her eyes. "This just isn't working for me anymore."
Her eyes screamed that she didn't mean it. It tasted like poison in her mouth. Emily nodded to let her know it was okay.
It's part of the plan.
"Fine. Just give up on me. Everyone in my life leaves. I don't know why I thought you were any different." Emily looked at Alison apologetically, but her words came out strong.
"Maybe you deserve it." I don't mean it, Emily. I don't.
Two agents dressed as waiters walked over towards their table. Emily and Alison ignored them as their fake fight escalated.
"Ladies, we're going to have to ask you to leave," one of the "waiters" said.
"This is a free country. You can't tell us what to do." Emily bit back angrily.
"It's restaurant policy…"
"See what you did?" Alison stood up in a huff. "I just wanted one night out. One night of peace."
The waiters escorted them out and they took their fight outside. They were yelling loud enough to catch the attention of everyone watching.
"You know what, Emily? I'm done with you! I'm so done!"
"Good." Emily uttered under her breath. "Now slap me."
"What?" Alison was caught off-guard.
"Sell it. Slap me," she said firmly.
"I can't just…"
"Just think of all the awful things I've put you through. I've lied to you. I kept secrets from you. I hurt you. You found me dying the night we met. And then you found me bathed in my own blood after I tried to assault you. I know it made you angry. I know you…"
Alison reached up and threw her palm against Emily's cheek, surprising both of them. Her eyes widened the second she pulled back.
Emily reached up and grabbed her jaw, pretending to be hurt. But she winked at Alison.
"Perfect. Now storm off."
"I don't want to," Alison said under her breath.
"You have to." Shana ordered into her hidden earpiece.
Alison turned around with tears in her eyes and started to pace away. She grabbed her phone and pretended to call for an Uber. The same driver that had taken them to town was right around the corner. He pulled into place to pick her up.
Emily stood on the curb for a few minutes, keeping her palm against her face, pretending like it hurt. Only she didn't have to pretend on the emotional scale. She could feel all of her doubts and insecurities bubbling beneath the surface. The fight was fake. But the emotion was real. The words weren't made up. She really had hurt Alison.
Emily gathered her emotions and she reminded herself of the plan. She slowly wandered away from the restaurant. There was a liquor store down the street. Shana told her where to go. One of the undercover agents was behind the counter. She pretended to buy a bottle of liquor, but it was actually just a bottle that had been switched out with water.
She walked out of the store with the brown paper bag and followed Shana's directions to an abandoned ball field. She was told to wander into the old concrete building where the players congregated before their games. She stopped every so often to sip on the water.
She walked into the building and took a seat against a bench.
She sat there for nearly an hour before everyone slowly came to the realization that if he'd seen her, he hadn't taken the bait.
Shana officially called it after the two hour mark.
"No sign of him anywhere. We're calling it. We're going to have to strategize and regroup." Shana spoke into the radio.
All Emily could think about was how pissed off Alison was going to be. They were going to have to keep playing the same stupid game until he came after her.
Emily left the ballpark. An Uber with an agent was waiting for her. They made sure no one was tailing them and then he drove her back to the cabin, where Alison and Shana were waiting.
Alison was relieved to see her. They hugged and then Emily kissed her.
"We live to fight another day." Emily smiled.
"You're not funny."
Emily faced Shana.
"So, what's our next move?"
"We've scoured CCTV cams and security cams. And we've gotten nothing. Not even the car he was driving has been spotted. Could be that he got bad intel and went to the wrong place. We're coming up with a new strategy. We've got eyes all over the place, trying to figure out where he could have gone."
"Are you sure it was even him?" Alison asked.
"It was him." Emily answered. Even though the footage of him outside the gas station was crappy she knew it was him.
"I'm going to stay here tonight. Just to be on the safe side." Shana glanced at the time. There had been no sign of him anywhere.
"You remember the way to the guest bedroom?" Alison questioned.
"Yeah. Just going to go double check the security cameras and do a quick sweep and check in with HQ. Let them know what we're doing."
"You're using a secure channel, right?" Emily asked.
She was worried about him spying from afar, waiting to make his move.
They didn't realize he'd already made that move.
The secure channel wasn't going to do them any good. Because he was already on the inside. One of the first things he'd learned how to do in the police academy was hack security systems. It had been child's play. Now he was just waiting.
"I am." Shana grabbed her walkie-talkie and walked out of the kitchen.
Alison and Emily stood there in the awkward silence for a few seconds.
"You okay?" Emily questioned.
"That's a loaded question."
"We're doing the best we can." When Alison wouldn't look her in the eye, Emily gently cupped her chin. "Hey, it will be over soon."
Alison didn't doubt that. She was just afraid that "over" wasn't necessarily going to be a good thing. Alison didn't know how to respond. She was too tired to respond.
"How about we warm up some of that apple cider?" Emily suggested.
"Sure." Alison nodded.
"All right. Just give me a few minutes to get this Kevlar off. I'm burning up."
Alison went with her to help her strip out of the heavy material, assuming that Shana would find her way to the guest bedroom.
Shana didn't make it to the bedroom. They never heard a thing.
They felt like they were in their own little world in their bedroom. After Emily pulled the Kevlar off she could feel the weight that it had left on her body. Her muscles were aching. She'd forgotten how heavy body armor was. Alison could see her tension. She rubbed her shoulders for a few minutes, but Emily's neck was still kinked.
"Why don't you take a shower? I'll make the cider." Alison rubbed a glob of pain cream against her skin.
"I'd ask you to join me." Emily grinned at her. "But I know how loud you can be and we don't want Shana to come bursting in thinking we're being attacked."
Alison laughed softly. She kissed Emily's cheek and then walked towards the door. She turned around and gave Emily a soft smile before she left.
Emily didn't take long in the shower. She felt better after loosening up. She ran a comb through her hair and wrapped it in a wet messy bun. Then she threw on her sweats and went to meet Alison in the kitchen.
She listened for the sounds of Alison and Shana talking, but didn't hear anything. She sniffed the air and didn't smell the cinnamon cider. The silence unnerved her.
"Ali?" She didn't get a response. Her heart leaped into her chest. "Shana!" She called loudly as she rushed towards the kitchen.
She didn't make it through the foyer. She felt something solid crash against the back of her skull. She stumbled forward and fell against the wall, managing to stay on her feet and spin around to defend herself.
She wasn't prepared to see him. She'd mentally been trying to get herself ready for it, but nothing could have prepared her for the rush of feelings that washed over her when she was looking into his eyes. Every single terrible thing that had happened to her as a child violently played through her mind.
Every instinct she had was telling her to strike back…to hit him, kick him, bite him…anything. Her chest felt heavy. Her breaths came out raspy and uneven. She stared at the weapon in his hand. It was standard police issue.
Shana.
She had no back up. He'd gotten past Shana. She was alone.
"You look surprised to see me. You didn't really think I'd fall for the bait and switch, did you?"
"How?" Emily's voice was shaking. Her entire body was shaking. How had this happened?
"Oh, come on. All those years in the army and you didn't learn to never leave your home base defenseless? Especially those with crawlspace access."
It was a nightmare. She was having a nightmare. It couldn't be real. She wanted to wake herself up. She wanted to open her eyes and see Alison.
Alison.
Where was Alison?
"What did you do to them?" Emily balled her hands into fists.
He didn't answer, which only fueled her fire. He stroked Shana's gun and smirked at her.
"I just wanted it to be you and me." He grinned menacingly. "Just like old times."
Emily flinched. She felt her anger hitting a tipping point. She moved her arm up and flung her fist towards his face. He reacted, blocking her hit and slamming the butt of the gun against her head again. The hit made her dizzy, but she stayed upright.
"Still just as obstinate as you were as a child." He clucked his tongue and shook his head. "Relax. They're not dead." He paused and smiled at her again.
That smile. That fucking smile made her feel like puking.
"Yet." He finished.
He nodded his head towards the living room, motioning for Emily to get in the room. The way he was looking at her terrified her. She was pissed at herself for letting him sneak up on her. She was angry that he was seizing the control she'd gained without him in her life. And she was terrified for Alison and Shana.
She felt the gun against her back as she walked forward. She was tempted to swing around and wrestle the weapon away from him, but she didn't know where her girlfriend was or what he'd done to her. She knew how sadistic he was. He easily could have something rigged that would kill Alison and Shana.
They walked through the living room towards the basement. Her eyes landed on two candles burning near the closed curtains on either side of the basement door. The door was wide open. The dark abyss of the unlit room looked like a monster ready to swallow her whole.
Of course he'd picked the basement. The one place in the house without an escape. She thought of all the times she'd been trapped in his closet. She felt the panic rising in her chest. The thought of being trapped…the images of being locked in the closet, feeling helpless…feeling small. All the times she'd been held in tiny dirt holes overseas, parched from thirst, sore from the beatings. It all came back to her.
Her panic transformed into rage when they rounded the furniture and she saw Shana on the floor, unconscious. She had a large gash on the side of her head. There was bruising on her face. Her hands and feet were bound tightly.
"Shana…" She tried to rush over to her, but he grabbed her arm and squeezed it.
"Don't even think about it."
His hand against her skin caused a visceral reaction. She gagged. She felt bile in her throat. She instinctively jerked her hand away and spun around and scowled at him. Before she could think, she was reacting. She raised her arm and went to strike him. He grabbed her wrist and spun her around, twisting her arm behind her back. He forced her to the ground. It was a maneuver Emily knew well. He put just enough pressure on it to make it hurt and then threw her forward.
She hit the ground. Seconds later she felt the tip of his boot crashing into her ribs. The air felt like it was being sucked out of her lungs. He grabbed her by her hair and jerked her head up.
"I'll put another bullet in you." He threatened. "Or in her." He pushed the basement door forward and revealed a dazed Alison lying on the floor.
He had tied her up just like Shana. He'd taped her mouth shut. She had a cut on her head.
I'll fucking kill him for touching her…
Alison's eyes fluttered open and when she saw what was happening she whimpered.
"Ali…" Emily was so close she could see the confusion and fear in her eyes. She ripped her gaze away from Alison and glared over her shoulder at him. "I'll fucking kill you."
"Watch your mouth." He kicked her again.
The hit flipped her on to her back. She groaned and he kicked her again. Alison screamed from beneath the tape, a muffled, "STOP IT!"
She struggled against her restraints. She rubbed her cheek against the floor to try and loosen the tape. She watched in horror as he ripped Emily off of the floor and slammed her against the wall.
"You never should have come back home." He held his arm against her windpipe. He pressed the gun against her temple. "Do you have any idea how exhausting it has been trying to track you down so I could fix the mess you made of things?"
"You're a fucking psycho."
"And you're a little shit. You haven't changed one bit."
"You're wrong about that." She was smarter. She was stronger. She had learned to fight back in other ways.
She also knew how to work her surroundings. She could see Alison desperately working to try and get her hands free. If she could get loose they had a chance.
He grabbed her jaw roughly.
"Don't test me." He pushed his face into hers.
She grit her teeth and took a shaky breath. He was so close. She could smell him. She was trying not to panic.
"You know, I almost had you that night in the club…" Those eyes. She had seen them. He'd really been there. He'd drugged her. God, what would he have done to her if Alison hadn't found her? "I wish you could have seen your face. Your pretty little drugged out face." He lightly smacked her cheek. Emily flinched. "It was so easy." He laughed. "Would have been able to nab you if it hadn't been for the crowds. Thought I lost my chance. But then one afternoon I saw that little friend of yours. Little fag-a-licious. Figured he might be someone important to you. Thought I'd send you a message."
"He had the meanest eyes," Charles had said.
"And now you've given me a blank slate." He glanced at Alison, who stilled immediately when his eyes were on her.
"No." Emily growled firmly. "No. You got what you want. You got me." Emily glanced at Alison and Shana. "Just let them go. Please…"
"Not on your life." He smirked. "You know as well as I do I can't leave any witnesses alive."
"They won't tell anyone. They won't talk." She was pleading, desperate. And she hated it. She felt like she was a defenseless kid again.
"The hell I won't." Alison threatened through the tape.
"Got something to say, blondie?" He asked. He took a step back. He kept the gun aimed at Emily and he kept his eyes on her as he leaned over Alison.
"Stop it! Stop. Leave her alone." Emily snapped.
He grinned and put his fingers against the edge of the tape, ripping it off with an excessive amount of force. Alison screamed out in surprise, but in the same breath she started yelling at him.
"If you hurt her I will kill you."
He still had his eyes on Emily. His finger was on the trigger. All it would take was one little motion.
"You wait your turn, little girl." He brushed his knuckles against Alison's cheek.
Emily lunged forward without thinking. Seeing him touch Alison brought out something raw and primal in her.
"Get away from her."
He was ready for her. He'd been baiting her. He raised the gun and fired it over her head. The sound blasted through the air. The bullet splintered the door to the basement.
Emily's ears were buzzing. Her mind was momentarily back overseas, holding her brother as he died. But then her instincts took over. She threw an uppercut at him, making contact with his jaw.
He wasn't fazed.
"There she is." He cackled. He backhanded her and threw her against the wall again. He pressed his body against hers, his weight holding her down.
"You grew up real nice, Emmy."
"Don't fucking call me that."
"I'll call you whatever the fuck I want." He shoved her face roughly with his palm
Emily begged herself to fight back. She knew she could fight back. She could beat his ass. But something about him paralyzed her with a fear she'd never known. He shoved his face close to hers, the smell of tobacco and whiskey on his breath. She flinched, closing her eyes and whimpering, thinking of all the times she'd smelled that scent before…of all the times he breathed heavily in her face while he was on top of her.
"You let her fuck you?" He grinned sadistically, his other hand landing on her thigh. She jumped again. He moved his hand in, groping her roughly. "You think about me when she does?" He taunted. "Cuz this is and always will be mine, you hear me?"
Emily felt herself shaking. And she was pissed at herself for freezing. He didn't deserve the satisfaction.
"You never found a dick as good as daddy's, huh? So you had to settle for a little rugmuncher."
"Fuck you." Emily spit, her fist hurling towards his face again. He blocked it and shoved the gun into her mouth.
Emily could vaguely make out the sound of Alison screaming at him in the background.
"I'm going to tell you how this is going to play out. First, I'm going to take back what's mine. I'm going to make sure you can't walk…" He slowly turned his attention to the blonde. "And then…I'm going to fuck her while you watch. I want you to see her face when I come inside her…"
Something snapped inside of Emily. A light turned on in her head. She reared back and every ounce of fear she felt was gone, replaced with the innate desire to protect her girl…to fight back, to survive…even if that meant dying at his hand.
She reached up and snatched the barrel of the gun, moving her head sideways and slipping the muzzle out of her mouth in case he fired. She twisted it as he started to pull the trigger. She punched him hard in the side and then clawed at his face.
He stumbled back, nearly tripping over Alison. He stepped on her hand and she let out a yelp. Hearing Alison cry fueled Emily's rage. She turned the gun on him, but before she could fire he threw a weighted ceramic bowl at her. It hit her shoulder and jaw. Emily felt like her ear was on fire. She felt something warm trickling down her earlobe. She could feel the blood draining down her face.
He bulldozed her and knocked the gun out of her hands. It went skidding across the floor. Alison watched as it disappeared underneath the couch.
Alison struggled to push herself into a sitting position. She watched helplessly as he wrapped his hands around Emily's neck and started choking her. Emily didn't go down easy. She dug her nails into his face. She reared back and punched him in the head as hard as she could, but she was starting to lose steam.
Emily was a hell of a fighter, but he had over one hundred pounds on her. Alison panicked when she saw Emily slipping out of consciousness. Alison used the wall as support to get to her feet. She couldn't walk because of the restraints, but she was able to throw her weight against him, knocking him off of Emily.
"Em…" Alison stumbled on to her knees in front of her.
He crawled on to his knees and angrily lurched at Alison. He threw his shoulder against her body and it knocked her off balance. Emily looked up just in time to see Alison tumbling down the stairs to the basement.
"ALISON!" She screamed, her voice hoarse.
Alison felt every agonizing bump as she hit the edges of the stairs. She did her best to keep her hands near her face to try and protect her head. She felt something slice into her arm. Whatever it was cut into the restraints, too. She landed at the bottom of the stairs. She heard something snap and felt an agonizing sharp pain in her ankle.
She laid against the cold basement floor in a daze for a few seconds. She could hear Emily shouting for her. Her head felt fuzzy. She felt like going to sleep. But she fought it.
She could hear the commotion upstairs.
Emily ran towards the basement, but was stopped short when he wrapped his arms around her waist and tackled her. She grabbed a decorative urn and slammed it against his temple. She knocked him back against the coffee table.
The antique table crumbled beneath his weight. All the items on it went careening through the air. A jar of potpourri burst open on the floor. A large splintered piece of wood sliced his outer thigh. She heard him hiss in pain. It was satisfying, but it wasn't enough for her. She wanted him to suffer. She wanted his skin sloughing off. She wanted to cut him up, piece by piece.
She rushed him, ready to end him. In a desperate attempt to regain the upperhand he scooped up a handful of potpourri and flung it at her face. She felt the gritty material stinging her eyes, but it didn't stop her.
He managed to get to his feet. He reached out for something else to defend himself, knocking over one of the candles near the curtains.
The thin fabric exploded into flames. He threw the sterling silver base from the candle at her. Hot wax splattered against her arm, first burning and then hardening against her skin. She didn't feel it. She didn't feel anything but her adrenaline.
She grabbed a letter opener and charged him. He grabbed a broken table leg and swung it at her. She jumped back, narrowly missing the hit.
She heard something crackling behind her and out of the corner of her eye she saw flames spreading rapidly. The wood the cabin was built out of was the perfect kindling for the fire. Smoke was already starting to fill up the room.
"You're going to listen to them burn." He cackled maniacally.
Emily's eyes frantically darted towards the basement. How the hell was she going to get Alison out?
Alison could smell the smoke. It didn't register at first. She thought she was dying. She had the most random thought about how people smelled burned toast before they died. But then she remembered that was usually just for people having strokes. Though, maybe she was having a stroke.
The pain in her ankle was a not-so-subtle reminder that she was very much alive. She sat up and rubbed her head. Then she realized that her arms were loose. She looked at the gash in her right arm where something had torn her skin as she was tumbling down the stairs. She quickly reached down to untie her feet.
When she moved her left ankle she felt an insurmountable amount of pain. She rolled her pants up and saw a large bulge and a swelling bruise. It was definitely broken.
"Fuck." She pulled herself into a sitting position.
She could hear Emily fighting upstairs. The reality of the situation set in. She tried to stand on her feet, but the pain was too much.
She took a breath and told herself she could do it. Emily had carried her through half of Rosewood after taking a bullet for her. She could…she had to make it up the stairs.
She looked around for something she could use as a crutch. Her eyes landed on the busted Pilates machine. She silently thanked Emily for all the rough sex they'd had on it.
She leaned against the wall for support and grabbed a broken rod from the machine to help her keep the weight off of her ankle. She stared up the stairs. It looked daunting, but Emily needed her, so she started hobbling up, taking it one step at a time.
Emily was frantic as she tried to get to the basement to get Alison out, but he was doing everything in his power to keep her from getting to her. He smashed the leg of the table against her side, trying to knock her down. She retaliated by stabbing him in the side with the letter opener. She put as much force behind it as she could, but getting through his thick skin wasn't easy. It didn't stop him from continuing to strong-arm her away from the basement.
She looked around for the gun, but she hadn't seen where it went during the commotion.
Emily grabbed another leg from the broken table and swung it at his head as hard as she could. He wobbled back on his feet and she hit him again. Then a third time, watching as he fell to the floor.
Emily spun around and saw the flames licking at Shana's feet. She rushed to Shana's side. Blood was pooling on the floor around her. She looked dead, but she was still breathing.
"Shana." She patted her cheek. "Shana, wake up." She grasped her restraints and tried to loosen them.
The fire climbed up the wall beside them and came dangerously close to Shana's body. Emily grabbed her arms and pulled her towards the door.
Emily almost had her out when she heard a loud crash. He was stumbling after her, knocking dishes and utensils to the ground as he barreled towards her. She braced herself for the hit, so when he crashed into her it didn't hurt as much as they tumbled to the floor. He reared back and punched her hard in the face.
It dazed Emily.
He looked around the cabin in disarray.
"Not exactly how I planned this, but I'll take what I can get."
He held her down. She squirmed beneath him. Emily's heart skipped a beat. She knew what was coming next. He'd been habitual in his behaviors when she was younger. But she wasn't going down without a fight.
As he reached for his zipper she slapped her hand against the floor where several items had fallen. Her fingers landed on something sharp. It was a corn holder. She raised it up and slammed it into the side of his neck. He yelled out and cursed at her. She'd been aiming for his jugular, but he was a moving target.
She pulled the prongs out and aimed again, but he punched her again before she could jab it in his neck. He'd put all of his weight into the punch. Emily felt it in her entire body. She felt fresh blood gushing out of her nose. Her lip felt like it had been split in two.
She kept her hand wrapped around the tiny weapon. She thrust it forward, but this time she aimed for his crotch. She put as much force as she could behind it and drove the sharp spokes into his dick. He howled out like an injured animal in the wild. Emily pulled back and did it again. And a third time. She could see the blood pooling near the crotch of his pants.
He rolled off of her and she climbed on top of him and started working his face with her knuckles.
"Fuck you." She smashed her fist into his nose. "Fuck everything you ever did to us." She hit him again. "To me." Another punch. "To Ethan." She drove her fist into his nose. "To Ellie." Her voice broke. "Fuck you!" She yelled again. "You ruined me!" Blood dribbled off of her face and into his eyes. She hoped it felt like acid. She wanted him to burn. "You made me think I was fucked up just like you." Her face felt like it was on fire. The tears hurt worse than the cuts. "You took things that I can never get back." She was sobbing in anger. "We were kids." She sucked in a pained gasp. "I was a kid…"
"You're all grown up now, aren't you?" He smirked, his face bloodied and bruised. "Look at you."
Emily wasn't sure how he was able to talk. His jaw had to be broken. She had done to him what he'd done to Charles. She continued her assault. She was hitting him so hard that the back of his head was smacking the floor. He reached down as she was drawing back to hit him again, his hand moving towards his belt buckle.
"Guess what, kid?" He sputtered blood out as he spoke. He grinned at her, revealing a bunch of broken teeth. "You grew up just like me. You're a killer. Just. Like. Me."
The words paralyzed Emily. She held her fist above him, her brain telling her to finish him off. But hearing those words…just like me…it fractured something inside of her.
Her hesitation ended up being a fatal mistake.
By the time he pulled the hidden hunting knife out of its sheath it was too late. She felt the knife gliding in between her ribs. It slid into her like butter, but cut her roughly like a jagged saw.
He shoved the blade into her up to the hilt. She felt every last inch of it. Her nerve endings burned, sending shooting waves of pain throughout her body, down into her limbs. Her side felt like it was on fire.
She saw him rearing back, drawing the blade out, which left a strange painful emptiness worse than the feeling of the knife being buried into her side. She looked down and saw her blood on the blade. It didn't look real. It wasn't like the blood on her hands in the motel. It was different.
"Emily!" She heard a faint cry.
Alison.
Alison always found her when she needed her the most. She fell off of him and rolled on to her back. She saw his shadow moving next to her. He managed to get on to his knees.
Alison hobbled towards the kitchen on the Pilates crutch, gun in hand. She'd retrieved it from underneath the couch. She was on a mission.
Smoke plumes were filling the air, but through the thick fog Emily saw Alison emerging. She looked over his shoulder and saw her raise the gun. Alison didn't even think twice before firing. She fired two shots, but it jammed on the third shot. The first shot missed, but the second shot ripped through his back and exploded through the front of his sternum.
He fell over and rolled on to his back, gasping for air. Emily watched as blood started trickling out of his mouth. His arms were like helpless flippers against the ground as he flailed around.
Emily pushed herself to sit up. She watched him struggle to breathe as his lungs filled with blood. She crawled over him, staring into his eyes. She could barely breathe, but that didn't stop her. Her training had come in to play. She'd fought through some pretty horrific injuries overseas. This was no different.
"Look at me."
Look at what you did to me. Look at what you turned me in to.
He refused, so she roughly grabbed his chin like he'd done to her so many times when she was little. His power was gone now.
"You don't get to control me anymore."
It was hard for her to speak. She felt like she was underwater and she couldn't catch her breath.
"You don't get to hurt me anymore." She pushed her free arm against his throat, cutting off his airway, killing him faster. "You're nothing."
His eyes wandered, but she dug her fingernails into his jaw and forced him to hold eye contact.
"No. You look at me."
She wanted her face to be the last thing he ever saw.
And it was.
His eyes rolled back, his eyelids fluttering closed. She had expected him to go out with a bang. But it was nothing more than a mere quiet whimper.
When his body stilled she let go of his jaw. She felt a whirlwind of pain and anger pouring out of her. And she couldn't stop it. She thought that when he was dead she wouldn't feel it anymore. But now she was sitting on the floor next to his dead body and bleeding to death. And it pissed her off.
She cried out and started beating him again. She couldn't stand his fucking face. Alison limped over to her and leaned down.
"Hey, it's over." Alison pulled her backwards. "It's over."
Emily looked at her trembling hands, battered and bloodied and bruised. She lowered her head and let out a sob, a cry that tore out of her throat as she let go of all the pain she was holding in. She tried to draw in a deep breath, but couldn't get the air she needed. She felt something warm bubbling at the back of her throat and she tasted copper. Blood.
It hit the lung, too. She thought to herself.
"We have to go." Alison could barely see through the smoke.
"Shana…" The other girl was still knocked out. Emily was starting to worry about brain injuries. "Help her."
Alison helped Emily to her feet. She was covered in so much of his blood that Alison didn't realize she'd been stabbed.
"Can you walk?" Alison asked.
Emily nodded.
"Get Shana."
Emily grabbed the counter for support, not letting Alison see the full extent of her injuries. Alison managed to get Shana out the side door. Emily tried to follow, but she lost her footing. Her feet were going numb.
She looked down at the stream of blood. It was warm, almost hot at first, but as it dripped down her skin she felt the liquid cooling. It was a strange sensation.
Alison rushed back in when she realized Emily wasn't behind her. Her ankle was killing her, but the thought of losing Emily was more painful than her physical injuries.
She saw Emily struggling and helped her to her feet, and that's when she noticed the fresh blood drenching her shirt. Alison tried to help her by supporting her weight. She nearly buckled under the taller girl, but somehow she found the strength to get her out of the burning building.
Droplets of blood dripped along the floor, getting larger and larger as they moved towards the door. Emily kept her hand against the stab wound. She could feel Alison's hand on top of hers holding pressure against it. She looked back at him one last time. She could see the flames overtaking him.
"How bad is it?" Alison wanted to lift up her shirt and look, but she had to use both of her arms to support Emily's weight.
"I've had worse…"
She looked down and saw blood oozing out between her fingers. In a strange way it was soothing, the flow of the liquid against her skin, like a trickling stream of water flowing with the current. It felt warm. But she felt cold. She stumbled when they got outside.
They both fell to the ground several feet from the porch. Alison heard Emily groan. The burning cabin was emitting a bright beacon of light over them, lighting up the vast darkness of the forest.
She rolled up Emily's shirt. Her stomach felt heavy when she saw the gash. It looked deep.
"Fuck." Alison reached towards Shana, frantically searching for her cell phone.
She didn't find a phone, but she found her small pocket radio. Alison turned it on and radioed for help.
"Help. Please help. If anyone can hear me…Shana is hurt. Emily is hurt. We're all hurt. The cabin is on fire. We need help."
At first all she got back was a hiss of static. But then she heard a voice.
"On our way. Someone called in because of the flames. Just hold on."
Alison listened, and she could hear the faint distant sounds of sirens bellowing in the air. They were close. Shana had them stationed close. She dropped the radio and turned back to Emily, who was staring at the stars.
"It's a nice night," Emily muttered. "Quiet." She tried to loosen her jaw. She could feel every cut on her body. "Nature…it's…" Powerful forces. She'd felt it the first night she'd met Alison. "It's so powerful."
Alison stroked her face, trying to keep her focused.
"You're really warm, Ali." Emily smiled through her pain. Alison put pressure against the stab wound. "It's bad, isn't it?"
"It's just a little papercut."
"You're a shit liar." Emily forced a pained grimace on her face. She pressed her lips together and mumbled. "I can't feel my feet."
"I wish I couldn't feel mine." The horrid pain in her ankle had returned with vigor.
Emily could see the pain in her eyes.
"You're hurt." She frowned at Alison.
"Not as bad as you are."
"So it is bad. Guess it's a good thing the liver is already dying."
Emily pressed her hand firmly against the stab wound and sat up, her back scratching the bark of a tree. She struggled to catch her breath as she tried to lift her shirt and look at the injury.
"What happened?" Alison asked.
"Knife. I think it nicked the liver. Probably my lung, too. I feel really lightheaded." She coughed, blood sputtering out of her mouth. "I think I'm going to pass out." She picked her head up, and it was a strain for her to do so. She barely had any strength left. "If I do there's something you need to know."
"What?" Alison's palms automatically reached for her face.
They were both crying, but neither of them took note of the tears. Emily's lips twitched, and for a fraction of a second it looked like she was trying to smile.
"I'm in love with you, too." She moved her forehead down until it was against Alison's. "I'm sorry I never said it back."
"You're going to get plenty of opportunities to make it up to me."
"Ali…" Emily lowered her head, her eyes grave. "Don't make this any harder than it has to be."
"Help is coming."
"We both know they won't make it in time. I'm all out of lives." Emily lifted her fingers to touch Alison's cheek. "Besides, you're the one who saves me." But not this time. And they both knew it.
"Em…" Alison cried.
"I'm sorry I shut you out." Emily sucked in a harsh breath. "I'm sorry I never told you. You make a difference at what you do. You made a difference with me. You did everything right." She could see Alison's pain glistening in the reflection of the fire. "But Spencer is right." She breathed slowly. "Sometimes there is nothing you can do to stop a trainwreck."
"Spencer is wrong. I was on that train the day I met you, and I'm not just watching from the outside. We're in this together, Emily. We always were."
Emily looked into Alison's eyes. Her beautiful blue eyes. They were like a calming sky on a summer day. She thought about how she'd talked to Alison about the weather when she was overdosing under the bridge. Horrible storms passed.
"When they pass we have the warmth of the sun again."
Alison had been her sun.
"I don't regret any of it." Emily smiled.
Alison closed her eyes and a quiet sob shook her body. She felt her tears streaming over her lips. She knew she had an embarrassing amount of snot trickling down against her upper lip, but she didn't care.
Emily reached up, barely in control of her arm. She pushed her palm against Alison's neck. She felt so calm despite everything that was happening.
"Everything that happened to me led me to you." She gripped Alison's hand. "And you're…" She struggled to catch her breath, "…you're the best thing that ever happened to me." She groaned and gritted her teeth in pain. "I can't…ungh…fuck." She groaned again. "I can't catch my breath. I need…" The world was spinning around her. "I need to lie down. Help me…"
Alison eased her back, helping her lie flat again. She watched as she forcefully tried to take a breath, but her breathing was short and harsh. She coughed up flecks of blood.
For the first time in her life she was facing death…and not wanting to die.
"You're too stubborn to die, remember?" Alison begged. "You've got this, Em. You've made it through worse. You're a survivor. It's what you do."
Emily smiled weakly at her.
"You'll never give up on me, will you?"
"Never." Alison ran her fingers through her hair.
Alison gently moved Emily's hand away from her injury. It's not like the brunette had it in her to fight back. She felt Alison's palms come down hard against the oozing injury.
Emily sucked in a gasp and Alison moved one of her bloody palms up against Emily's cheeks.
"I'm going to get you out of this, Emily." Tears bit her eyes. "I promise."
Emily stared at Alison. Maybe this was how things were destined to end. Everything circled back to the night they met.
"This…it seems familiar." Emily squinted in confusion. "You're here." Again. "But it's…it's not the same…" She bit down on her lip, "I don't think I want to die, Ali."
"Then you won't. I…I won't let you."
"It doesn't hurt." Emily stared at the sky.
"The pressure must be helping…"
"No. Not that." Emily tried to focus. "I don't hurt anymore. It doesn't hurt. I think I'm okay. I think I just need to close my eyes for a minute. I just need to rest…" She heaved out a breath. "You'll stay with me, right?"
"Always."
Emily reached up, putting her hand over the palm that Alison had on her gushing wound. And she smiled.
"I'm glad it was you."
"What?"
"I'm glad it was you who answered the phone that night. I think you were my destiny, Alison." She peered at her. "Thank you for being my fate."
Alison had helped her close out a chapter of her life that had been haunting her for so many years.
She took a few more forced breaths, but then her breathing slowed.
"I think I'm done now." She shut her eyes. "I think it's finally over."
A/N: I see those pitchforks. Look at me doing what I do best giving you lots of sweet fluffy angst and then a Shakespearean amount of pain and death. Do you hate me yet? The bestie very calmly said she was going to tie me to a chair and make me do math (side note: I hate math).
I knew (and you all probably knew, too...to an extent) they weren't getting out of this unscathed, so here we are again, my friends. I know it probably feels like de ja vu. It was tough to bring it to this climax after everything they've been through, but the way I wrote the antagonist (whom I specifically did not name, because I don't believe in notoriety for psychopaths) was always going to have to circle back to his deeply disturbing violent personality (and his high level of intelligence). In the end it also had to circle back to Emily realizing in the most painfully poetic way that she didn't want to die.
We're almost at the end. I appreciate those who stuck around. I know the content is very hard-hitting. Thank you for trusting me to tell this story despite the heaviness of the subject material. These characters are so complex. I have done my best in trying to balance them out to show both the humanity and the imperfections. I wanted to be real about the struggle, but also show that there are some things that are worth fighting for, worth living for.