A/N: Contrary to popular belief, I have not been turned into a zombie by the Corona Virus (though cases in Atlanta/Georgia have boomed to like 66 overnight. They shutting down E'RYTHING). I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth or disappeared. And I owe you all the rest of Emison's story. So here we go.

Initially, I was going to wrap everything up with one monster of a chapter, but the word count was almost 18,000. There is also a lot going on plot-wise and some time jumping going on, so in the interest of not rushing things I decided to split it.

The good news is that the editing is almost completely done, so I should have the final installment out for your reading enjoyment in the next day or two.

Chapter 21:

The Art of Life

Emily's recovery took months. She hadn't had a typical transplant. She'd had a lot of complications after the surgery. Her body still had a lot of healing to do. It wasn't easy. They had a lot of setbacks. The hardest thing was trying to get the right balance of her medications.

Through it all she worried about Alison's mental and physical health. She constantly had to remind Alison that she needed to take care of herself, too. Alison was still healing from her injuries. And she was suffering from anxiety.

They were both talking to professionals about their mental health. It was hard for Alison to be on the opposite side of things. She was so used to giving the advice. It was hard for her to take it.

Emily could always tell when Alison was frustrated. She could always tell what Alison was feeling. And even when she was drugged up she had a natural inclination to take care of Alison.

One afternoon Alison had barely gotten a foot into Emily's room before Emily sensed her anxiety.

"I know that look." Emily sat up in her bed. She moved over, something she routinely did to gave Alison enough room to scoot in next to her. "Bad session?"

Alison didn't say anything. She was always afraid that saying anything about what had happened would trigger Emily. Emily could tell she was holding back.

"You can talk to me." The brunette reached out, extending her hand for Alison to take it.

"I just…I don't like to talk about any of it." Alison crawled next to Emily. Snuggling was a lot easier now that Alison's cast was off. "It's not like anyone can understand what it was like out there…what it was like watching him hurt you…"

They both flinched.

"I know," Emily replied softly. "It was hell for me, too."

"More-so for you. Because he did that to you your whole life. Honestly, I don't know how you're still standing."

"I'm technically sitting." Emily wrapped her arm around Alison's shoulder.

"You're not supposed to deflect." Alison frowned. "I want you to talk to me, too."

"You know how I feel." She rubbed Alison's arm. "I'm still fucked up. Less so. But I'm always going to be like this. I'm always going to struggle. It's…" Emily had to stop to take a breath. She had to calm her racing thoughts, "…what happened…it's a part of me. But it doesn't have to define how I live my life. I get to choose what I want to do. He's gone now. I don't want him to keep this hold over me…over us. We deserve better. I just…I don't know how to do better. I never thought I'd make it this far. It's so weird. I've never belonged anywhere."

"Hey," Alison balanced herself on her elbow, running her hand up Emily's cheek. She used her fingers to gently push Emily's face up to meet her gaze. "You belong, Em. You belong with me."

"Yeah." Emily smiled. "You made that perfectly clear the night we met. You sank your teeth into me and refused to let go."

"I don't recall any biting until our first session." Alison winked.

"You knew how much you had a hold on me, didn't you?"

"I think I did." Alison nodded, burying her head against the crook of Emily's neck. "I saw something in you when you came into the group session. And then when we were alone…I just…I felt it."

"You felt my hands…" Emily playfully moved her fingers against Alison's outer thigh, "My fingers…"

"I felt a lot of you that day." Alison smirked. "When you touched me…" Her face relaxed into a state of bliss, "…you do things to me. Things I can't explain. There was something in your motions…in the way you looked at me." She touched Emily's hand. "I was yours."

There was a beat of silence. Then Emily grinned at her.

"It was my magic tongue, wasn't it?"

"It totally was." Alison chuckled.

They both laughed. Emily pulled her in for a hug. Alison relished in her touch. She glanced up at her.

"What about you? When did you know?" Alison asked.

Emily didn't hesitate in her reply,

"When you answered the phone at the hotline." She took Alison's hands in hers. "I thought you were an angel." She kissed her knuckles. "I still do. Because I wouldn't be here without you." She took a breath and then looked up at the ceiling. "I am insane." She looked at Alison. "And I'm in love. I'm insanely in love."

"You're as sane as I am. Because I'm in love with you, too." She lifted her head and pressed her lips against Emily's lips.

She had really learned to appreciate Emily's lips now that they were free and clear to kiss again. For a while after her transplant they'd had to be careful about their physical interactions because of the risk of infection and organ rejection. But now that her meds were getting sorted out her doctors were easing up on her.

"How are you feeling? How is that liver treating you?" Alison gently put her hand against Emily's side.

"It's a little loose." Emily lifted her right arm and looked down at her side with a smile.

Alison chuckled. She enjoyed seeing the softer side of her girlfriend. Getting past the walls that Emily put up had required persistence, patience, and time. But she was so glad she hadn't given up on her. Because the Emily Fields that was behind the gruff woman the world saw was one of the sweetest and most selfless souls that Alison had ever known.

Alison also knew that sometimes Emily fell back into that shell of her former self. She knew that Emily pulled away sometimes, through no fault of her own. It was a self-preservation habit, and Alison understood that. Fortunately, since she understood it, she knew when Emily was trying to hide behind a coat of armor.

"Seriously, how are you?" Alison asked, glancing at Emily, forcing her to hold her gaze.

Emily's eyes didn't lie. She looked exhausted.

"It's been a rough one," she said. "They had to lower my dose of anti-depressants to work with the anti-rejection meds and I can really feel it. The anxiety is pretty bad."

"Are you worried about your body rejecting the liver? Or is it…" She squeezed her hand. "Are the flashbacks getting worse?"

"Neither." Emily shook her head. "I mean, yeah, the PTSD is still pretty bad. But that's not what's bothering me. I just can't stop wrestling with feelings of guilt…about Peter."

"You can't blame yourself for his death."

"I couldn't save him."

"Because he was meant to save you," Alison said.

"You don't feel the least bit guilty about it?"

"I think about it a lot." Alison knew she had a role in Peter's death. It had been a tragic accident. And the only way she could get through it was by knowing that his death had served a higher purpose. "If things hadn't worked out exactly the way they did…if you hadn't been there that day, he would have died…and his death would have been in vain. But you were there. You stepped in. And because of that you gave his family time to grieve. And you gave half a dozen other people a chance to live. His organs didn't just save you. You know his heart went to a mother of three?"

"At the same time, a little girl lost the only parent she had left. Samara lost her dad."

"We can't change that. You know that better than anyone."

Emily sighed. She nodded.

"No. You're right. I know. I'm sorry. I'm just…off. I'm still trying to come to terms with everything. I'm trying to work through it."

"Work through it however you need to. I'll be here the whole time." Alison tried to comfort her.

"I'm here for you, too. I know what you're going through." Emily assured her. Alison had killed someone. And while it wasn't the first time, Emily knew what murder did to a person's psyche. "How are you holding up?"

"I don't regret pulling that trigger at all." Alison's eyes flickered, a hint of anger in them.

How could she feel badly about killing someone who had done such terrible things? With her parents, it was one thing. They had been manipulative, controlling, and emotionally abusive. They had outright sold her to a psychopathic madman and she could have ended up in a situation a lot like Emily's. To go a step further and know what Emily went through as a child…to know the things her abuser did to her…it made her feel murderous. The only thing she felt bad about is that he didn't suffer more.

"I just remember knowing that it was him or us. I don't remember much about being tied up, but I remember every single thing he did to you. I can still see the look on his face when he…after he grabbed you…God, I would have cut off his head if I could have. The things he was saying…"

Alison felt tears stinging her eyes. That's the man that Emily had been forced to grow up with. Alison got a glimpse of him that night at the cabin. But Emily had lived with it for years. Alison could never claim to know what Emily's experiences with him had been like, but she did have a painfully clear view of what it had done to her.

"When he put the gun in your mouth I thought I was going to watch you die." She looked up at the ceiling, trying to keep the tears from falling, "I remember feeling so helpless. And then I realized…that's how you felt with your brother and your sister." She saw Emily's face tighten in pain. Despite her pain, Emily reached up and brushed Alison's tears away with her knuckles. "I don't regret anything. I don't feel guilty. But I do feel angry. I'm angry all the time. I'm angry that he did those things to you and Ethan and Ellie. And I'm angry that he got away with it for so long."

"I'm angry, too." Emily interjected quietly. "I'm so angry that I'm exhausted. But I know how to navigate it. You helped me. And I promise I will help you. And things will get better. I hope."

"I know they will." Alison nodded. "Because we have each other. And our friends."

"It helps that the cops are closing Peter's case, too." Emily added. After the attack out at the cabin, the police department started looking into Emily's stepfather. They had discovered he'd been stalking Emily and that he'd been out at the warehouse the day Peter was shot. The cops concluded that Emily was the target that day. Her stepfather had taken the fall for the shooting. "That's one less thing that's been on my mind."

"It's always so busy up there, isn't it?" Alison traced her finger against Emily's temple. She knew that the wheels were always turning in Emily's head. "How are the thoughts and compulsions?"

"Not so loud anymore. Still there. The change in meds is messing with me. I don't feel like myself. I was jumpy all day yesterday. And I had nightmares last night."

"I should have been here." Alison felt like she was letting Emily down.

"You can't live here, Ali. You need to get out. And you need your rest."

"I want to rest with you."

"We'll be out of here soon." She kissed the top of Alison's head. "They said my numbers look good. We're getting there."

"Mmm, what does life outside the hospital look like?" Alison smiled in thought.

"You tell me."

Alison laid against Emily's body. She closed her eyes and hummed happily under her breath as she pictured her life with Emily.

"Dinners and talks. Sunset walks along the beach." Alison walked her fingers up Emily's arm. "Touching. Lots of touching."

"Yeah?" Emily felt goosebumps trailing up her arm in the wake of Alison's touch.

Her body reacted so naturally to Alison. The trust that they had built was continuously growing.

Emily reached up and pushed a strand of Alison's hair aside so she could see her face. Alison moved her hand up against Emily's wrist, her fingers grazing the long thick scar on her skin. She cupped Emily's hand. Her eyes were focused on the scar. Emily gently pulled her hand away and reached up and covered the scar with the fingers of her other hand. She looked away from Alison. The scars on her wrist reminded her of the night she'd hurt Alison.

But Alison was determined to prove to Emily that she loved her, scars and all. She reached for Emily's hand again.

"I don't want you to hide them from me." Alison kissed the healed gash on Emily's wrist. "You're beautiful. This…" She kissed the scar again, "…it's a reminder that you're stronger than what hurt you."

Emily used to think Alison's psychobabble was bullshit, but she had a point about her scars. Scars were a lot like the pain in life. You were cut open. You bled. But by some miracle of a chance, you could heal. Scars healed in a way that didn't disregard pain entirely. The pain was still there after they healed. Scars slowly faded. Pain lessened over time.

Her scars were proof that she had lived through something no one should have possibly been able to live through. It was a testament to her survival.

"I know your pain is an ongoing process, but I am part of that process. You just have to remember to let me in." Alison put her palm against the side of Emily's neck. "Because I love you. I love every last part of you. And I want to know every inch of you." Alison turned and placed a peck against Emily's jaw. Emily pulled her head back, tilting her neck to give Alison easier access. "You're perfect to me."

Alison kissed her way down Emily's jaw and peppered her neck with kisses, nipping occasionally. She moved her mouth up and found Emily's lips immediately. She felt the heat of Emily's breath against her face and she felt Emily's hand against her cheek.

"I will never in a million years understand how you can look at me like that." Emily cupped her cheek.

"Like what?"

"Like you see me."

"You're all I can see. I look at you…I look into your eyes…I see your scars…" She touched Emily's stomach where her surgery incision was healing. "And I love you more because of it. You're a survivor, Emily Fields." In every sense of the word.

"You're my savior, Alison DiLaurentis." She kissed her.

"For the rest of our lives." Alison nodded with a smile.

"We have a hell of a story to tell."

"We do."

"Where do you think it ends?"

"The two of us old and wrinkled. A couple of grown kids who have given us gray hair. A lifetime lived."

"I like that." Emily smiled, closing her eyes and taking a breath.

They both had high hopes that they'd get that lifetime together.

At the time, they didn't know that their story would be much shorter. But in their time together they would live a profound lifetime that would impact everyone who knew them.

3 years later

"So, how have you been doing?" Aria asked.

The park was buzzing with activity. Ellie was chasing a butterfly while Alison and Aria paced behind her. Lupo was trotting in front of the two of them. Ellie turned around and waved at her mother. She looked more and more like Aria every day.

Alison slowed her pace and loosened her grip on Lupo's leash. She looked past Ellie, at her own children who were walking hand in hand towards the playground. Aria could tell that her friend was lost in thought.

"It's been tough." Alison bit her lip. "They miss her…"

Looking at her four year old son, no one would have ever guessed that behind his smile hid a world of pain that his little brain could barely comprehend. But when he smiled everything in the world felt right to Alison. He was a devious little thing, always dragging his baby sister into trouble. She was holding his hand tight. He quickened his pace, babbling eagerly about watching Ellie go down the "big girl" slide. Ellie was already climbing up the ladder to the slide. He started running. His little sister could barely keep up.

"Toby! Gracie, slow down!" Alison watched as they ran down the hill.

Toby immediately did what his mother said. He was only four, but he listened. And he always looked after his little sister. Grace was seventeen months old. She had only recently started walking. She loved holding her big brother's hand and letting him lead her around. They both giggled as they watched Ellie come down the slide. Those giggles were like music to Alison's ears.

Toby and Grace had been brought into their lives by the suicide hotline. Emily had actually taken the call that day. The first thing Emily had done after getting out of the hospital was take a job at the place that had saved her life.

Two weeks after she'd been released from the hospital she was working full time for the hotline.

Her second day she got the call. A young single mother with a 14-month-old little boy and a newborn had called for help. She was in over her head and completely overwhelmed. Her boyfriend wanted nothing to do with her or their kids. She was post-partum, and her depression was getting the better of her.

Emily had been able to talk her off of the ledge. They weren't supposed to get personal at the hotline, but Emily wasn't really one to follow the rules.

Emily had only survived because Alison had formed a real connection with her. And she wanted to do the same for others. So when the young woman called and threatened to kill herself Emily talked to her for hours.

After the conversation they'd even agreed to meet up and have coffee.

They met every Sunday for a month.

But then one day she didn't show. Emily got concerned and went to her house. She'd found the toddler sitting in the kitchen crying. The baby was in her bassinet.

Their mother had been dead for over twelve hours. There was a composed text in her phone to Emily that hadn't been sent.

"Take care of my babies please."

When Alison got the call from Emily she was worried about how the trauma would affect Emily's mental health. But when she got to the police station she found Emily sitting in the lobby as calm as could be. She had a newborn in her arms and a sleeping baby boy curled up against her side.

"He was scared," Emily had whispered when Alison sat down next to her. Her eyes were on the older boy. "I didn't want to leave them." She was watching the sleeping infant in her arms.

"Did they call social services?"

Emily looked at Alison, tears in her eyes.

"The police found an envelope near her body. It was her will." She looked conflicted. "She has me listed as their guardian."

Alison's mouth dropped open in surprise.

"What? How…can she…is that even legal?"

"I don't know. But they said they'd call social services to take them if I wanted them to."

"Emily…" Alison didn't know what to say. She knew that Emily had been through a lot, and finding her friend dead was bound to send her spiraling.

"I know. I know what you're thinking. But we don't have to make a decision right now. We could…we could grab some supplies for tonight…let them have this night of peace. That's what they need right now. They just need someone to care."

"Yeah." Alison agreed. When she looked at the babies all she could see was Emily and her siblings. "Okay."

So they took them home. It was eerie how calm the babies were around Emily. Alison had never seen anything like it before. The brunette had a way with them. It's like they knew they were safe with her. It's like they knew she understood what they were going through…even though they didn't understand what they were going through.

Emily hadn't been able to sleep that night. All she could think about was what was going to happen to the kids. The last thing she wanted was for them to end up in a situation like hers. She didn't want them going to some foster family that was only in it for the government money. She wanted them to feel safe and loved and cared for. She wanted everything for them that her mother and father had given her before her entire life had been upended.

Emily watched the babies and Alison sleep. The bed was crowded with the four of them and Lupo, who had been very watchful over the kids. They'd borrowed Ellie's old bassinet from Aria, but the newborn refused to settle unless she was being held. So Alison had rocked her to sleep. Alison fell asleep with the baby in her arms.

The little boy was tired, but he didn't sleep. He stayed up, staring at Emily as she walked him around the house and rubbed his back. She talked to him. He didn't cry. He just watched Emily the whole time. It went on until the early hours of the morning, when he did finally drift off to sleep in her arms. She laid down in the bed with Alison and the boy's little sister and she watched them sleeping peacefully. It was a serenity she'd never known.

The next day Emily and Alison had a lengthy discussion about it. It was a huge decision, especially with Emily still coming to terms with everything she'd been through. Alison was still emotionally healing from their trauma. They'd been working through it together. They both struggled sometimes. Emily hit lows. She had nightmares. Alison still had flashbacks.

Bringing kids into the equation was a huge deal, but something about the children losing their mother in such a tragic way really sparked something inside of them, especially Emily. She'd wanted to help others the way she'd been helped. She felt like she'd answered that call for a reason. She knew it was a lot to dive in with children, but she'd practically raised her little sister. The timing wasn't perfect, but she had to follow her heart. She knew the babies were meant to be with her…with them.

It didn't take Alison long to decide. She felt connected to the children, too. And she could feel the connection that Emily had with them. She saw how much love Emily had to give, and she saw how the children responded to her. She knew they were going to have to find a balance for the sake of their mental health, but she felt confident that they could waver it. After everything they had been through, Alison knew that they could handle anything.

Motherhood wasn't something they were planning. It was thrust upon them. But it felt right. By the end of the week they were working on the paperwork to officially adopt them.

Their paperwork was approved quickly thanks to Spencer, who pulled some strings with good friends she had in social services.

The children's mother had left specific instructions in her suicide note asking for Emily to take care of them. She wanted them to be loved and safe and cared for, all things that Emily had made the woman herself feel. She also asked that Emily consider new names for them, because she didn't want the ghost of her hovering over them for the rest of their lives. She wanted them to have a new start…a better life.

When they were considering names, Alison had asked what Ethan's and Ellie's middle names were. When she heard the names Ethan Tobias and Ellie Grace, the names just clicked.

That's how Tobias Jason and Grace Cecilia were born into their family. They were named for Emily's siblings and Alison's brother and Cece.

Like any family, they had rough patches, but their love carried them through. They fell into parenting somewhat naturally despite their insecurities and their fears. They were still healing, but they were healing as a family.

Sunday outings at the park became a regular thing for them. They met up with Aria, Holden, and Ellie on a regular basis.

Alison watched her children running around the playground. Toby was toddling back up the hill, towing Grace along. Ellie was chasing them, gaining on them.

"I got you!" Ellie giggled when she caught up to the younger kids.

Grace burst into a fit of hysterical laughter. Ellie picked her up. Ellie wasn't much bigger than Grace, but she somehow managed to pull her up off of the ground and start walking back towards their mothers. It was comical to see Ellie try to tote her. Toby chased after them.

"Wait for me!" He called after her.

"They seem to be in good spirits," Aria said.

"Most days." Alison nodded, glancing at Aria. She could see her reflection in Aria's sunglasses. "They're both too little to comprehend it. They don't understand death. It's been a difficult adjustment for Toby. He's been having nightmares. He doesn't understand the bad dreams, but he has them."

"It's going to take time." Aria put her hand on Alison's arm, trying to comfort her. "You'll find a routine with them."

"I hope so," Alison said with a sigh. "She wanted them to know how loved they were. I just want to make that happen every day for the rest of their lives."

"Your babies know they're loved."

"Yeah, Emily made sure of that." Alison watched as Toby stopped to observe a flower, something that he'd learned from his Mama. Emily had always been big on teaching their children how to appreciate the little things in life.

"You know you didn't answer my question. You've talked about the kids, but how are you doing? You've been through a lot."

"I have my good days and bad days. It happened so quick. I think I'm still processing it. It doesn't feel real." She reached down and scratched her dog's head. He'd been a calming constant through everything.

"It's okay if you're not okay. Just because you're a mom now doesn't mean you can't have bad days. If you ever need me and Holden to take the kids for a few days and take some time we'd be happy to help."

"I appreciate that." Alison peered at the kids again. She never realized how much she looked at them. She felt like her eyes darted to them every two seconds. "But they keep me motivated. They're my normal. They keep me together." She paused and then smiled. "It's weird that in a world of chaos, more chaos seems to balance it out. Sometimes good things come from terrible situations."

"Tragedy does tend to have a way of making people take stock of things. In a strange way it brings people together." Aria looked at the playground full of children running around, giggling and laughing. "I heard that Caleb is speaking at the memorial today."

"It took a lot of convincing to get that hermit out of his house. But he knows how important it is. Not just for Emily, but for Vets everywhere."

Aria nodded quietly.

"Life is delicate. I think people take that for granted sometimes."

"Every minute is precious." Alison reached up and gripped a locket around her neck. It had her initials and Emily's initials engraved on it. Inside there was a picture of her and Emily with their kids. Emily had made everyone laugh the day the photo had been taken. It was one of Alison's favorite pictures, because it was candid. And all the smiles were genuine.

They walked out to a field where a bunch of mothers had gathered with their babies and toddlers for a sensory story time where the kids listened to a story and then did a bunch of various activities to help them develop motor skills. The kids loved it because they got to play and socialize. The parents loved it because it got them out of the house.

Alison saw Ronnie and Samara and waved. Ronnie had her 6-month-old son on her hip, a little boy named in honor of his Uncle Peter. Alison saw them around a lot. It was strange the way that fate had put them together.

Alison watched as Toby and Ellie led Grace to a large plastic tub filled with different brightly colored water beads. Grace stuck her hand in the tub and started giggling.

"You know, I look at them and realize just how innocent they are. I look at them and I know they have no idea how harsh the world is. It's wild to think that at one time…we were all that innocent." Alison sighed. "I don't want the world to break them."

"You can't protect them from pain." Aria adjusted her sunglasses. "Suffering is a part of life. It's a shitty part, but it's a part of it. We both know that there is no way around it. It's best to face it head on. Our pain is always going to be there. That doesn't mean we can't learn to coexist with it. Happiness doesn't mean we're not sad. It just means that we've found something worth surviving for. And that's what we should teach our kids. To know and accept the pain, but to find something that makes life worth living."

"Okay, this sounds like a lecture you'd give one of our callers." Alison side-eyed Aria.

"Everyone can use a little support and self-help now and then. Take my damn love." Aria shoved her playfully.

They laughed, watching as their little ones played with the other kids. Toby stayed close to his little sister. He was very protective of her. One little boy came up and tried to take away a blue scarf that she was playing with. Lupo saw it happening and barked from across the field. But the dog didn't need to protect his little human. Toby had it covered. He frowned at the little boy and scolded him, wagging his finger just the way Alison did when she was mad.

"He does a really good impression of you." Aria smiled.

"A little too good sometimes. He's picking up some of my favorite not-so-kid-friendly words."

"Which one?" Aria lifted her brow curiously.

"All of them." Alison made a face. "He said 'fuck' in our mommy and me class last week."

"Ah, yes, I remember when Ellie walked around saying 'shit' for almost two weeks solid." Aria nodded. "Has Grace been picking up any of those habits?"

"Not yet, thankfully. She's a bit more reserved. Sometimes the way she acts reminds me of Emily. She's really artsy. And she's a thinker. I can tell she is always thinking."

They watched their children play for a few minutes. When the story time was over the kids started to disperse and run off in different directions. Ellie ran over to the playground and climbed up the stairs to the slide again.

Grace started toddling after some of the bigger kids. She pivoted when she saw a chipmunk scurrying towards a wooded area. Lupo started to whine when he lost sight of her. Alison reached down to pet him to let him know Grace was okay.

Before Grace could get into trouble someone swooped in and picked her up. Grace gripped the tattooed arm that was holding her tight and looked up with a toothy grin.

"Where do you think you're going, Little Miss?" Emily questioned, kissing her forehead.

"Mama!" Grace exclaimed. She wrapped her chubby little arms around Emily's neck.

"Hi, peanut." Emily gently scratched her back.

Toby ran up to her and grabbed her pants, knotting the thick material through his little fingers. He reached up with his other hand and tugged on the bottom of her shirt so she would pick him up, too. Emily leaned down and scooped him up with her free arm.

"Hey, buddy, are you having fun with mommy and Auntie Aria and Ellie?"

"We sang songs." Toby smiled in excitement.

Alison saw Emily and waved to her. Grace laid her head against Emily's shoulder, but Toby squirmed as he looked at their surroundings. He was a little wiggle-worm.

"Bird!" Toby pointed to a grey and white bird that swooped past them and landed on a low hanging tree branch.

"That's right, baby boy."

Alison and Aria started walking towards Emily. Alison kept her eyes on the brunette holding their babies. She loved her so much.

"She has been so amazing with them." Alison watched as Emily quietly talked to the kids. "She is the only one who can bring Toby out of his nightmares about his birth mom. Even though he was just a baby, we know it stayed with him. It's been hard to watch him suffer. I just want to take his pain away."

"It's the worst when your kids are hurting." Aria agreed. "All you want to do is take on that pain for them."

"I feel helpless sometimes, because I can't calm him down." Alison watched Emily with their children. "But she can. She gets to him every time. I feel useless."

"You help, Ali. If it wasn't for you, Emily wouldn't be around to help him." Aria pointed out.

"I think she gets it on a level that he can connect to. He might not know it consciously, but subconsciously, they've got that shared bond."

It was a painful thing to have a bond over, but Emily had seen her father die in front of her, too. After Toby's birth mother had committed suicide, the crime scene investigators had determined that he'd been near her body several times, trying to wake her.

Sometimes Alison didn't understand how their mother could have done that to her children, but she also knew the intricacies and complexities of depression and suicide. She understood that when a fight was lost, it wasn't anyone's fault.

She knew that the woman had loved her children. She'd loved them enough to make sure that they ended up with a family who could give them everything they could ever need.

But she also knew that the children were grieving. It had been three years, but there was a void in their lives that they didn't understand. It was a terrible thing for a parent to see their children go through, because there was nothing they could do but let them feel the pain.

The death hadn't just rocked the kids. Alison's and Emily's whole lives had changed in an instant. Everything had happened so fast. One day they were working together as a single unit and the next day they were moms. Even though the years had passed it still felt like just yesterday that they'd expanded their family.

Love was the most important thing in their household. They wanted their children to know they were loved. They wanted them to know that their birth mother loved them. When they were older, and if they had questions, they were going to explain that she'd lost a battle that was hard to win.

The emotional anxiety that came with being a mom was hard on Alison sometimes. She'd spent so much time worrying about Emily, and now she had two little tiny humans that added to that worry. She worried when Grace was fussy. She worried when Toby couldn't sleep. She worried about the world around them.

Emily was a strangely perfect balance in the household. She still had bouts of PTSD, but she managed. She let Alison in, because she knew it wasn't something she could handle alone.

They still went to therapy. Emily didn't like to talk about her past, but she realized the importance of working through everything that had happened to her.

Some of the stories made Alison feel physically sick. She had trouble reconciling everything that the brunette had been through.

She was beyond thankful that Emily was alive and well, but that didn't mean she didn't hurt for her when she saw her scars, visible and not visible. Alison still got angry when she thought about how much she'd suffered. She also had complete admiration for her because of the way Emily persisted.

Emily had to manage her pain to maintain the life that she wanted. It was a trade-off. Their kids made everything worth it. Even on their worst days, a smile from Toby or a giggle from Grace felt like the greatest gift in the world.

Seeing both of their babies happy made them happy. And they were never happier than when they were in Emily's arms.

Emily toted them over towards Aria and Alison. They met near the entrance of the playground. Lupo bounced around Emily playfully and wagged his tail.

"Hi." Emily smiled, leaning in to kiss Alison.

"Hey." Alison smiled back. She gave Grace a kiss on the forehead and the baby reached for her. Alison took her from Emily.

"Sorry I'm late." Emily shifted Toby on her hip and reached down to pet the dog. "Had a call that ran a little long."

"Everything okay?" Alison asked.

"By the end of it, yeah." Emily nodded.

Working at the call center had opened the door for healing for both of them. Helping others is something that ultimately helped them.

"Any time we can reach them is a win in my book," Aria said.

"I'm living proof of that." Emily agreed.

"Mommy!" Ellie called for Aria. She was standing at the top of the slide. "Mommy, come watch!"

"That's another call I can't ignore." Aria laughed. She walked towards the slide.

Toby watched Aria walking away and he started twisting around in Emily's arms. He stopped momentarily when he saw Samara running up to them.

"Sami!" He exclaimed excitedly.

"Hi, Toby." Samara waved. She looked up at Emily and smiled. One of her front teeth was missing. "Emily, Emily, look what I made in school." She held her hand out, showcasing a colorful beaded bracelet.

She was too little to understand the concept of her father's liver being in Emily, but she knew that her daddy had helped Emily the way Emily had helped him. She understood that her daddy saved Emily's life. And she felt connected to her.

"Wow, that's super cool, Sam." Emily whistled, an impressed look on her face.

"My Auntie told me I could go play on the swings. Can Toby come play?"

"I wanna!" Toby bounced in Emily's arms.

"Sure." Emily laughed as she sat him down. She looked at her son. "Be sure to hold on really tight, okay?"

"I will."

"Come on, I'll show you how to swing soooo high." Samara took Toby's hand.

He walked along the trail with her, his mothers watching him go.

"Bye bye." Grace waved with her chubby little hand. She was content in Alison's arms. She was worn out from trying to keep up with the older kids.

"They'll be out cold tonight." Alison rubbed Grace's back as she watched Toby chase after Samara.

"Hopefully." Emily nodded. "I think he does better when he's been out playing in the sunshine."

"And what about his Mama?" Alison reached out with her free hand and gripped Emily's fingers. "How are you doing?"

"Nervous." Emily linked her fingers into Alison's.

"You sure you want to do this?"

"This could help a lot of people…" Emily looked across the playground at Toby and then looked at Grace and Alison. "I want our kids to know that it's okay to be hurt and that it's okay to feel things and to know when to ask for help. I want people to know."

"It's a lot…sharing this with the world."

"If it stops just one person from being another statistic it will be worth it." Emily reached up and pinched Grace's cheek. Grace smiled bashfully. "I'm doing it for them." She faced Alison. "What good am I…what good is my story of survival if it can't be used to help others? I know I was iffy on this motivational speaker thing at first, but I think it's important."

"This is why I love you." Alison squeezed her hand.

Emily was a very private person. She had a hard time talking about her life in therapy, so the fact that Emily was teaming up with their friends to talk about depression and suicide made Alison really appreciate Emily's selflessness. She had several speaking engagements lined up. The first one was at a memorial for veterans who had taken their own lives. She had asked Caleb to speak with her. He'd been resistant at first, but he could see how much it meant to her.

Hanna, Mona, and Charles had been much easier to convince. They had set up programs for at-risk youth to talk about their personal experiences with their inner demons. They wanted to make sure kids knew that it was okay to seek help.

Their organization had gained so much traction that people were reaching out to them about speaking engagements. That's where Emily's story had come into play. It was all thanks to Emily that Alison had gotten the idea to expand the services of the suicide hotline.

The program was where the idea for the support group extension had come from. Their little non-profit had been working hard to expand their role in the community. They had purchased a vacant building and had transformed it into a center where people could come to at any time of the day or night for help. It was a safe haven for people when they were at their lowest. They had a great team of staff that worked to keep it running.

"Mama." Grace smiled. "Love you, Mama."

"I love you, too, Bean." Emily played with Grace's fingers.

"What time is the talk scheduled for?" Alison asked.

"Four. The bus from the VA and the shuttle from the senior center are supposed to get there at 3:30. Caleb is going to meet us there."

"You think he'll actually show?"

"He'll show. He knows I'll beat him over the head with his fake leg if he doesn't," Emily said. "Besides, it's as important to him as it is to me. You know we've both had trouble with our PTSD. Only way we get by is by getting each other through it. And we both realize that we could do that for others. We want to invoke change."

Alison had learned all about the statistics of the veteran suicide rate. She always knew it was high, but she'd only recently learned that twenty to thirty vets killed themselves every day. They were almost two times more likely to kill themselves than non-veterans.

"I got like half a dozen more chances at life than other people. I don't think it's fair to waste it."

Alison admired Emily so much for surviving everything and coming out the other end of it with the desire to help others.

"I'll be right there with you the whole time."

"You always have been."

"Always will be." Alison smiled sweetly at her.

Alison had been through her side through it all. Emily knew she wouldn't be where she was without her.

She looked at Alison and felt so much love that she didn't know how to handle it. The blonde had been the yin to her yang since the moment they met.

She watched as Alison cuddled their little girl. Seeing the smiles on their faces was pure adulterated joy. Alison kissed the tip of Grace's nose and then looked up at Emily.

Emily looked back at her, and she knew at that very moment that she was going to marry her. She had never been more certain of anything in her life.

A/N: Good news/bad news scenario. Bad news: Basically the whole world is fixin' to be quarantined. Good news: At least you'll have something to read while you are stuck inside. The final chapter won't take long at all. I promise. What I can't promise is that you're not going to feel...things...in the last chapter.