'You need to let him go'
That's what Sango had told her; If she had been honest with any of her other friends, she was sure that would have been their advice too. What on Earth was she doing, hanging around an ex, the very one who shattered her heart and didn't think twice? When he left her, he didn't call, didn't try to rectify his wrongs. He moved on, never looking back at the damage.
But then there he was, showing up at her doorstep, begging for a moment of her time. Just when she thought she could move on from him, he came bursting into her life, shining his attention on her and making her feel starved without it.
She shouldn't feel that way! They were over! O-V-E-R. She had to keep reminding herself of that; He was sick, his love was sick, and all of it was just temporary.
It became a mantra; 'he doesn't love me, he doesn't love me, he doesn't love me'. Somehow, Kagome thought that if she kept repeating it, it would make it feel less real. Yet no matter how many times she mulled it over in her head, it was hard to turn away from the man she loved.
Loves?
Loved.
Her phoned vibrated and she thanked God for the distraction. Any more time spent thinking on the hanyou would lead her down a rabbit hole she didn't dare to follow.
'Up for a movie?' Koga, of course. Kind and sweeter than she deserved.
She should reply quickly; it wasn't good to leave him on read. She didn't feel much like going out, or seeing even him for that matter. Before, she looked forward to their dates, to getting out of the house and spending time with him. Their last meeting left a heavyweight in the pit of her stomach that took days to shake. Not that he had done anything wrong- the complete opposite, really. He wanted more, wanted her and she didn't exactly know how she felt. They were not exclusive, although she knew the wolf demon was not seeing anyone else; it put a pressure on her she wasn't sure she was ready for. No, she and Koga were just casually dating, or at least that's what they had agreed to; So why did it feel so much like cheating every time she thought of Inuyasha?
When she was with him, she felt like she was sneaking behind Koga's back, and when she was with Inuyasha…
All her thoughts were on him. He was always present, her mind never cast off in a million directions. Her attention was always on him, on the way he looked, the sound of his laugh, how good he smelled or the way one corner of his mouth turned up more than the other when he smiled.
It wasn't good to be like this, to let these feelings fester. How long was she going to let the hanyou control her? She should focus on Koga, focus on her future. She should ask Inuyasha if he ever went to his doctor's appointment.
Damn it!
She should choose Koga, chose a new path, someone who wouldn't take her feelings for granted and run off when their relationship became rocky. Koga wasn't like that; but then again, she didn't think Inuyasha was either.
It was so out of character, so strange how it happened. It was as if his personality did a complete 180. Sure, his temper could be short at times, but he was never cruel. How could someone go from such a loving man to someone who turned their back so easily? By the end of their relationship, she felt like she didn't recognize him anymore.
She was shocked to learn he was calling for her at the hospital; The desperation in his voice, the way he clung to her… she had never seen him afraid. If he lost his memory, he was working off his feelings from back then. He must have loved her, must have truly cared at some point. How could it all have gone so wrong?
It didn't matter.
And yet it did, and it was driving her nuts!
She couldn't just continue on like this, stuck in limbo, waiting for Inuyasha to fall out of love with her, waiting for some closure that would probably not happen.
Kagome knew what she needed to do.
She had made up her mind.
~.~
The phone buzzed, immediately catching his attention, making him put down his pencil and halt his work on the clients blue print; it seemed that no matter what he was doing, he was never too busy to respond to her texts. She did that a lot now- texting him. When they first started talking it was minimal communication; awkward and brief, only relaying the basic message that needed to be sent. Now, she was opening up, talking about her day, her frustrations, the good parts and boring. It reminded Inuyasha of how they were, before; He dared enough to take it as a good sign.
Especially when she texted late at night. That itself was something that had him fantasizing in a million different ways. Was she lonely? Did she miss him? If she thought of him in the early hours, it must mean that she was alone and Koga wasn't warming her bed, and that was fucking brilliant.
It drove him crazy to know that that damn wolf was still sniffing around her; He had found out that they weren't official, but they were dating, and that alone was enough to make him rip Miroku's couch to shreds, which, by the way, was getting fucking old. He needed to find a place and soon, but apartment hunting took so much damn time.
'You're going to the doctors today, right?'
Boring. He wished she would talk about anything else- what she had for lunch, the color of her panties, when he could see her next. Really, anything else; But no, his ex-fiancé was in full-on nag mode. He knew that when she was like this, there was little that could stop her.
'Not today. Too busy. I'll go on Friday.' He responded, rolling his eyes as he tossed the phone on his desk. Miroku, his mom, hell, even Sesshomaru had been on him about going to get a check-up; he had meant to, but he just kept missing the appointments. How could he get to the doctors when there was so much work to do? It buzzed again, and even though he knew it would be grating, he was still thrilled to receive something, anything, from her.
'You better to go, Inuyahsa. I mean it!'
She was concerned, that had to be a good sign, right? Kagome was worried enough about his well-being enough to argue with him about it. That had to be good, right?
'Yeah, yeah. Thanks mom.' He sent back, biting on the corner of his lip. He knew that it would get under her skin, but he said it anyway.
'You better. Don't make me get your mother involved.'
Ouch, a real fucking threat. She'd do it too, if history was any indication. Not that Kagome called his mom over petty arguments, no she wasn't that type. His mom just fucking loved Kagome, a lot, and they always seemed to team up and back him into a corner when they were on the same page.
'You should. She misses you.' He sent it on impulse and regretted it immediately; he tried to keep it light, did his best to stay in the friend zone and not bring up their relationship. Yes, it was the giant elephant in the room, but he was a coward and he'd rather dance around the issue and be with her than to confront it head on. There would always be time for that some other day.
'Yeah, I miss her too.'
He didn't know what to say next, how to move the conversation along from there. Should he change the subject? What the hell could he talk about? His mind was racing as he panicked, his claws tapping on his wooden desk as he searched for an answer, Kagome supplying one before he could.
'Are you busy tonight? Can we meet up?'
It felt like a mistake and an opportunity all at once.
'Of course.'
What else could he say?
~.~
The ride back to her apartment seemed too short, at least in Inuyasha's opinion. They had gone out for coffee, she walking and he driving to meet her. While they sat sipping it suddenly began to pour, the rain heavy on the concrete sidewalk, and Inuyasha was more than thrilled to give Kagome a lift home. It was nice to have her in the passenger seat again, to have her by his side.
He pulled up, parking in his old spot, the feeling more nostalgic than he would have thought. A simple gesture, but one that threw him back, took for granted back then. As he cut the engine, he turned to look at her, his breath-stopping, all thoughts lost.
The air felt heavy, hot. She was looking at him half-lidded and if he didn't know better, he would have thought she wanted him. He had seen that look on her often enough, fuck it was ingrained in his mind, but she hadn't looked at him that way, been so close to her like this in a long time, and fuck if it didn't make him nervous. He felt like a bumbling idiot, too afraid and jittery to make a move. "L-let me grab my jacket." He stuttered. "I-I can walk you to the door." Kagome bit her lip and nodded and Inuyasha just about died.
Shutting his door behind him with a loud bang, he whipped around to Kagome's door, holding his jacket high overhead to protect her from the rain. She stepped out, squeaked a bit from the weather and the two of them ran to the front steps of her apartment, the small awning making them huddle in together as they said their goodbyes.
"I should go." He said, silver hair damp with rain, sticking against his forehead. Kagome smiled, reaching up to push away the stray locks, tucking one behind his ear, the hanyou doing his best to control his blush. Her hand rested on his cheek, cupping it tenderly as she searched his amber eyes, looking for hesitation, looking for recognition, for truth or love- she wasn't sure anymore.
"Kagome," he breathed out, covering her petite hand with his own. "I-"
She cut him off, unwilling to let him finish lest she lose her nerve. The kiss was slow and tentative at first, an underlying hunger they were too afraid to indulge in. When they broke away, quickly, much too quickly, Inuyasha knew he was panting and he didn't care; Kagome's hands had traveled down, grasping his muscular arms like they were her life line. Had her eyes looked this blue before? Had her lips been so full, so plump? Her scent so spicy and alluring? Everything about her in this moment set his senses in overdrive, leaving him feeling both drugged and charged for more.
"Don't go." She pleaded, her tone hinting that she was worried. As if he could turn away.
"Are you sure?" He asked, the words sounding foreign to his own ears. This had to be a dream. And to his utter surprise, she nodded, clutching him harder, her eyes never leaving his.
She didn't have to ask him twice.
~.~
A/N: Hey guys! I am super happy about getting to this point, and even more excited for the next chapter! Thanks for sticking with the story and reading! I hope everyone had a great holiday and has a happy new year!