A/N: I hope everyone is staying safe with all this virus craziness! I wanted to cover more in this chapter, but it just felt rushed that way so I hope you like it. More to come :)
By the time I pulled into the Black's driveway, I'd settled on making chicken parmesan. I prayed that Rachel got a bunch of ingredients or I would need to run back out to the store, but luckily I had at least two hours until they would get home. Jake made me a key to the house about a year ago, insisting that I have it but I always felt a little weird using it. Today, I pushed it into the lock with no qualms and walked inside.
It was strange for his house to be so quiet, always filled with the sound of a game on turned up all the way or his laugh bouncing off the walls. It was eerily silent as I walked through the entryway into the kitchen. Rachel left a note on the counter saying all the groceries were in the pantry or the fridge and she'd be back with dessert around 4:30. It was 3:45 now, so I decided to get to work preparing the chicken. I put on some music and got into a groove, almost missing Rachel come in as I laid a piece of chicken in the breadcrumbs.
"Wow, Ness. Chicken parmesan?" I nodded and she came over to peck me on the cheek. She turned to the sink to wash her hands and started helping me.
"What did you get for dessert?"
"Oh, cannolis. I guess we were on the same wavelength."
"Uh, where are they?" She just laughed in response and, as if on cue, Paul walked into the kitchen with a hefty box.
He placed it on the counter and sauntered over to her. I had to avert my eyes after a second because I had seen some raunchy displays from my family, but the one before me was a little much. Rachel broke it up after a minute and I was eternally grateful.
"Babe, Ness doesn't want to see this." Paul looked over at me like he just realized I was a sentient person staring back at him.
"Oh, uh, sorry." He seemed genuinely apologetic, which was out of character for him, so I just shrugged it off. Of course, his normal attitude resurfaced.
"How did you get in the house, Ness?" He was grinning and I knew he knew. Asshole.
Rachel obviously didn't because she looked at me with curiosity. I bit my lip and turned back to the chicken, not wanting to say it with her eyes on me.
"Jake gave me a key awhile ago." I tried to be nonchalant about it, but Paul howled in response and I briefly considered stabbing him with the fork beside me. Rachel beat me to it because I heard a distinct slap and his muffled cry of pain. I smirked and went back to prepping the food. Once all the pieces were coated in breadcrumbs and laid out on an oven sheet, I popped them in and set the timer.
I heard some shuffling behind me. "Rach, why did you buy so many cannolis?"
She sighed before answering. "Sorry, my eyes are bigger than my stomach. I figured between you and Jake, they wouldn't go to waste."
"No worries, honey. As long as you know who's getting the most." I rolled my eyes. It never ceased to amaze me how sweet he was with Rachel when he was such a jerk to everyone else, but he's still Paul through and through. Rachel apparently agreed with me.
"Jerk. You know I'm eating for two."
I whirled around in time to see Paul smack his forehead. "Shit, really Rach?"
She was completely bewildered for about five seconds and then her face fell. "Oh my god, I'm sorry!"
Her eyes flashed to mine. "Ness, I'm less than a month along. You can't tell anyone." I nodded automatically, but my head was spinning. I raced across the kitchen to hug her and she laughed, squeezing me back.
I was a little dizzy with the potency of my excitement. A baby. My family had taught me about life, death, sex, marriage and just about everything else but none of them had really delved into the topic of children. I think their hesitancy was partly protective; Carlisle still didn't know if I could conceive and carry a child. I had been menstruating since I was about 4 and a half (right about 13 in human years), so his guess was yes but he wasn't sure. It was never a lengthy discussion since my father was a mind reader whose greatest talent was hovering. He was adamant that I didn't need to worry about that kind of thing right now and we'd explore it in the future.
I think he was nervous I would rush to the sex part just to see if I could. The notion was exceptionally juvenile and I was almost offended that he would worry about something like that with me, but I tried to remember that my father was an eternal Victorian teenager with no parenting experience.
My mother and my aunts had entertained a few more of my questions than Dad. But, true to form, it was Jake who eventually just laid it all out for me this past summer. I think the conversation just about killed him because I wasn't shy about my questions but he said it was necessary if they were sending me to school with humans.
That was one of the reasons my Dad's suspicion of Jake drove me crazy. He was responsible to a fault with me and it was like my father was holding his breath, waiting for him to slip up. Maybe a slip up wouldn't be so bad.
Paul brought me back to the kitchen with his scathing attitude again. "Well, we won't snitch that you're living with Jake if you keep your mouth shut about the baby." I growled at him, not even bothering to dispute his bullshit and turned to pull the chicken from the oven.
Paul practically moaned and I tried to play it off, but I was secretly proud of myself because it did look amazing. I snapped a picture to show Uncle Jasper later.
Rachel set the table while I seasoned and plated each piece. We had to throw Paul out because otherwise the food would never survive until Jake and Billy came home. I was putting the last plate down on the dining room table when the front door opened and my heart lurched in my chest.
"Holy shit, Rach. What smells so good?" Jake yelled from the hallway. I knew I was beaming, but I didn't care as he rounded the corner and took in our elaborate set-up. He had Billy in tow, who spotted me first and gave me a wink. Jake barreled over to hug her and she happily accepted, whispering something in his ear.
Billy came over to me and I bent to hug him, quenching my rising emotions. I didn't want to be sad tonight but I loved him like my own father and everything in me unraveled at the thought of him dying. He held me firmly and didn't say anything because he didn't need to. Rachel must have clued Jake in because he whirred around and rushed to me.
"Get out of the way, old man." Billy easily released me and Jake scooped me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I let out a burst of laughter as he headed toward the back door.
"We'll eat in ten minutes." He called out, carrying me to the porch swing in his backyard and gently setting me down. He sat too and pulled me into him. He situated us so my legs rested sideways over his knees and hugged them to his chest. He was silent for a full minute, just staring at me with that intense expression, and I was ready to explode when he finally spoke.
"What happened today?" I immediately shook my head and lifted my hand to his cheek. Not what I want to talk about. Just be here with me.
He nodded a little reluctantly and a small smile rose on his face. "So what do you want to talk about?"
I shut my eyes, unable to look at his expression and maintain a filter. "A misconception from this morning."
I heard his heavy exhale, but he said nothing and I felt my cheeks heat up. I was squeezing my eyes shut now and regretting the impulse to bring this up. What the hell was I thinking?
Jake brushed a hand against my cheek and spoke softly, undoing me. "Nessie, we have to talk to each other, remember?"
I forced my eyes open. "That whole thing with the waitress drooling over you and your, uh, deflection." His eyes darkened and he nodded.
He cleared his throat as my silence dragged on. "Yeah, what about it?"
I mustered my courage and ignored the butterflies destroying my stomach. "You asked me if it was a crazy idea and I-I answered wrong."
"Okay," he said slowly, drawing out the word. His smile widened a moment later as he heard my true meaning.
"We're not a crazy idea to me. Not at all." I stood abruptly and hurried into the house before I could spontaneously combust.
He grabbed my elbow and pulled me back into his lap. He bowed his head to look at me and his eyes were smoldering. "That's it?"
I gulped in air and tried to calm my erratic heart. "Yup, your move."
I dashed in the house before he could stop me again and flew to the bathroom, locking the door. I needed a human minute to recover my mental faculties. I dabbed cold water on my flaming face and cursed my complexion for always giving me away. When I was reasonably confident I could string a sentence together and my face was halfway normal, I came out. Rach was grabbing drinks for everyone in the kitchen and the boys were all seated. I ran to help her and grabbed a soda from the fridge, cracking it open and gulping before Jake saw. When I walked in, he winked at me and I felt a little high, probably a mix of him and the soda. Sure enough, as soon as he noticed his seltzer and the soda in my hands, his face contorted.
"Ness, you know what sugar does to you." Something about his stern tone incensed me and I took another swig.
"You're not my father." I muttered, holding out his seltzer to him. He gripped it tightly until the can whined in protest and Paul choked on a bite of his food. He was snickering until Jake shot him a glare and it cut off immediately.
In a purely intellectual sense, I would agree with him. Sugar did make me crazy, almost like alcohol for a human but I hated when he treated me like a child. I hated it even more when he played parent. It was probably just a habit but it drove me nuts. He seemed a little miffed by my response though, so I kneed him under the table gently.
His regular smile flashed at me and I exhaled. Paul and Jake went for seconds and then thirds and even Billy finished his portion, making my heart swell. He was clearly exhausted by the end of the meal and a grey pallor colored his face. Jake left the table to help him to bed and Rach told Paul to clean up since we cooked. He grumbled about it until she leaned and whispered something in his ear, making his eyes darken and his whole face light up. Gross.
I texted my Mom that I'd be home in an hour or so and I would go hunting with Daddy- if he wanted. She responded immediately that he'd love to, but I wasn't sure if it was genuine. Dad and I clashed a lot more lately and most of it centered around Jake, but not all of it. Really anything involving my aging or my independence set him on edge and I understood that, but it didn't lessen my reality and the sooner he came to grips with it, the better.
Jake emerged looking half asleep and I patted the spot next to me. He wore a lazy grin and drew me into his chest. I stared at his dazed eyes and giggled. "Tired?"
"Food coma." He rubbed his stomach happily and I felt an unreasonable surge of pride. I couldn't tell if it was exhaustion, but he seemed truly at ease and I was so nervous it would fade.
I leaned into him and let out a sigh. He automatically held me against him and I couldn't deny the feeling that we fit so naturally together. I raised my eyes to his and found him staring intently at me. He wore that familiar, overwhelming, cryptic expression which drove me insane.
I wanted to pry whatever it was out of him, but he never broke. Always holding back. Well, I wasn't nearly as inhibited. I didn't stop to think through my actions as I leaned even closer, my face inches from his. The small distance felt charged and maybe I might have been bold enough to close it.
Rachel burst into the living room, completely oblivious. "Paul is eating all the cannolis!" I jolted away from him and our gaze broke off. He smiled at her and held out a hand to me, leading us to the kitchen.
He jostled Paul away from the few remaining cannolis and divided them unevenly between us. If I had any oxygen left in my brain, I might have complained about my smaller portion. Jake devoured his share and then offered to drive me home.
I happily agreed and hugged Rachel goodbye. When Jake went to grab his keys, I kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear. "You two stay happy and healthy, okay?"
She nodded and promised to call if Billy needed anything. Paul picked me up and spun me around, thanking me for the 'kickass food'. I was pretty much on cloud nine when I climbed in Jake's Rabbit.
He reached for my hand as we started toward my house and I reveled in the warmth of his skin. I glanced at his face and it stayed on the road but a smile crept onto his lips.
"Thank you for tonight." He raised my hand to his lips and kissed it lightly. I powered through the inner turmoil that gesture unleashed in my body.
"I just wanted to take your mind off things."
"You did and I needed it." He might as well have confessed his undying love for the inordinate joy that rippled through me. Billy's diagnosis was devastating, but Jake's suffering was just as unbearable to me and it was a heady feeling to know I assuaged it.
We sat in a comfortable silence the rest of the way. Of course, my stomach was also doing somersaults as Jake rubbed slow circles into my palm. He stopped outside the cottage and I paused to listen for my parents, mercifully finding it silent.
I turned to him and shuddered under that dizzying stare. There was no angry father or well-meaning Rachel to interrupt this time. I sat up on my knees and moved closer, watching intently for any sign of disapproval. His breathing sped but he didn't move as I pressed my forehead against his.
"Ness," his voice was rough and his breaths were ragged, matching mine. I abandoned my nerves and kissed him with the lightest pressure. It only lasted a second, barely a kiss, but my whole body pulsed with electricity. I pulled back an inch, relishing the tingle left on my lips.
He seemed frozen, a dazed look stuck on his face. "What-" he swallowed. "What was that?"
My eyes fluttered closed and I brushed my nose with his. "Sugar high," I murmured.
I kept my eyes closed as I fumbled for the door handle and hopped out. I hurried toward the main house, not daring to turn around. I didn't want to know how he felt about it. I was still coasting on my enjoyment and I'd deal with the ramifications later.