Unchanged

Missing Scenes for 'Metamorphosis'

Wednesdays suck. Especially when, like on this particular Wednesday morning, Fruit Loops are out along with chocolate cake and pancakes, plus the Russians bring a from Nirrti deformed alien, on top of getting captured by said Goa'Uld and then Carter is taken as a guinea pig for DNA alterations. So consequently Jack adds today to his current list of bad middle days of the week because most recently stepping through the gate on a Wednesday has increased in death potential. As if Daniel is bored and wants company to ascend to him, ever since he left the year has stumbled from one catastrophe to the next one. From almost dying in an X-302 to almost dying in the Pacific Ocean to almost dying of an ancient flue to almost dying (well and actually dying) in Ba'al's torture chamber to almost dying stranded with Maybourne to this now. Jack hopes this will be another almost. One of those missions they get away on the brink of death but alive enough for Fraiser to patch them up or the Tok'Ra or Asgard to save their butts because the butt on the line this time is for once not his, but Carter's. Unfortunately, when Wodan and Egar come back with Carter, Jack can see that this Wednesday just got worse.

Carter falls out of Wodan's arms into Jack's and the moment he touches her he knows something is different. He can't point to what it is, but he has touched Carter enough to know she's not quite herself. After he puts her down on the cot, Jack gives his usual spiel of 'take me next,' but just as usual no one listens and they take Jonas instead. At least there's one positive surprise on this day when Jonas storms against Egar and for a moment it looks like they are having a chance of getting out of here. But then Wodan lets Teal'c fly through the cell, and Jonas heads for the next DNA makeover. When Jack looks at Carter, he sees in her face what he had felt when he held her: she's not okay. However, he says, more a lie to himself because he had never been able to fool her, "You made it through. You're gonna be all right."

She shakes her head and whispers, "No, sir. I don't think I am."

Right, fuck you Wednesdays.

As Carter closes her eyes and they can't do anything but wait for the next time Egar and Wodan show up his thoughts wander back to two months ago. The one Wednesday that had been an exemption from this series of bad ones. The day he and Carter got stuck in a hut during a thunderstorm. Just like now, they were sitting next to each other—so close and yet so impossibly far away. He recalls the feeling when she told him that she wasn't sorry for convincing him to take the Tok'Ra because otherwise, he would have died. Her brutal honesty had cracked his ribcage open and laid his heart bare and if it weren't for that sudden storm he would have kissed her right there under the vigilant glance of Chip the Shibu, which, in hindsight reminded him very much of the look Fraiser throws him whenever he spends too much time next to Carter's bed when she is injured. Hours later, when they had found shelter in the tiny hut, and she had grabbed his hand a second time, he would have almost kissed her again, but just in time Chip jumped onto the sofa and curled up between them. So instead of a kiss, he gave her a soft smile that ended their conversation just like other, similar once before. The next morning found them sound asleep. It had been the first time since his escape from Ba'al's capture that he had slept through the night. An ironic reminder that she makes him do things he usually would never do. She makes him willing to get a snake into his head. She makes Kanan go back for his left-behind love. She makes him survive Ba'al's torture, and now she makes him want to curl up and cry because he knows she is going to die.

She grunts next to him, and he knows the lie she's going to tell him before he has even asked the question.

"What?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," she says, although she is barely fine. That's obvious only by the sound of her voice, and when he looks at her, he doesn't see the tough soldier but a broken woman.

"Get some rest. That's an order," Jack says because it's the only thing he can say out of all the things he wants to say.

When she leans against his shoulder, her head snuggling to find a comfortable position, he realizes that today might be the day he will finally lose her. Finally, because he has dreaded this day ever since he zatted her. Watching her die was the most bruising, profound experience after Charlie's death. He can't go through it again, just that there is nothing he can do. If Nirrti has done similar things to Carter than to Evanov, then it's not looking good. As if summoned by Jack's thoughts, a nasty cough erupts from Evanov behind them. Evanov's face is torn in pain, he coughs some more and then with a splash liquefies and melts away.

Oho.

A little sob escapes from Carter, and she turns away, clearly avoiding eye contact. Jack knows what she is doing. That she's trying to be strong, to not show fear but he can't deal with this pretend right now.

"Carter," he says softly and puts his hand on her arm which forces her to look up.

Disbelief is shining from her eyes like two bright headlights in the dark.

"I'm not going to let this happen," he says and squeezes her arm. He needs to feel the firmness of her body. Needs to feel that she is there. Because apparently her being there is the only thing that can make him feel good. Just like that night in the hut. The first one without nightmares in weeks. Refreshed by a satisfying sleep, they had hiked back to his car in the grey of the morning light and made it back to his house around seven. Their first briefing wasn't scheduled until ten, but still, he was surprised when Carter accepted his invite for coffee at his place. It had been the most extraordinary experience normal can be. He didn't think about his feelings or that this was probably a bad thing to do. He didn't ponder about what was or could be, he just existed in the moment of that early morning with easy conversations and a good cup of coffee, and when the time came to get to work, he opened the door and let Carter get out first and there she froze mid-step, so quickly, he almost bumped into her.

"Samantha," he heard the voice from Miss Jenkins, his nosy neighbor. "What a pleasant surprise."

"Miss Jenkins," Jack said and stepped next to Carter.

"Good Morning Mister O'Neill," his elderly neighbor said with a smug smile. One that said caught ya with a hint of I knew it!

Jack couldn't feel other than amused but his spy neighbor that probably had spotted Carter's car in front of his house the evening before. Now that Miss Jenkins was standing in front of him, satisfyingly looking at him and Carter leaving his house at eight in the morning, Jack remembered seeing her in the garden when Carter had stopped by the day earlier.

"What can I do for you at this bright and early hour?" he said and didn't even bother to step out of Carter's personal space he was invading due to the abrupt stop. If Miss Jenkins wanted to play, he could play.

"You see, I was making a cake, but I happened to be an egg short, so I was hoping you could lend me one," she said, and Jack had to smile because that lady was a pro using cake on him.

"I'm sorry we ate them all for breakfast."

The lady's eyes widened, and he still can't get over the similarity to how Cassie looks when she gets what she wants.

"Anything else I can help you with? Samantha and I really have to get to work."

"No, no, Mister O'Neill. I'll just go and grab some…"

"You do that," he said and put his hand on the small of Carter's back and pushed her forward. She gasped by the contact and turned around with a shocked surprise. He winked at her and then turned back to Miss Jenkins, "Save me a slice of cake, will you?"

"Of course and for Samantha too," Miss Jenkins said as he walked Carter towards her car.

"Sir… this… she thinks we spent the night together."

"We did, Carter."

She looked at him with that common-look of hers.

"You need to fix this," she said, and there was no mercy in her voice.

"I will, tomorrow," he smirked.

Only now he remembers that between that tomorrow and today three months have past and he hasn't fixed it yet.

"Carter," he says, and her eyes flutter open. She is weak, and he needs her to fight, and right now, he has no better idea of what could get her to do that.

"Remember when we got trapped in the rain?"

"Uhu."
"And how Miss Jenkins came under the impression that we... you know…"

Suddenly her eyes rip open, and she stares at him—all here and clear and alert.

"Well, I kinda forgot to set things straight…" he says, and his words trail off as he shrugs his shoulders.

"You promised."

"I got busy. I was lost again."

She shoots him an angry glance, but underneath he can see she's amused. And it might be the best thing he has ever seen because for a brief moment at least she doesn't look like she's dying—she has to live to set this straight and kick his butt.

"And you're telling me that now, because?"
Because he can't tell her the things, he wants to say to her.

"I need you to hold on a bit longer, and kicking my ass seems to be a very good motivation."

"Janet can't fix me," Carter says, and he's losing her again.

"Nirrti can. Trust me, Carter. If Egar can read my mind, he will help me help you." It sounds innocent, but the truth of his words hit her. If Egar can read his mind, then he will see what Jack O'Neill feels for Samantha Carter and that she has to be saved.

So, he had been right. This was another almost mission. Egar had read Nirrti's mind, killed her, and saved Carter. Now SG-1 is sitting in his backyard, sipping beers under the star-spiked night sky. A nice ending for such a horrendous Wednesday. Jack looks at Carter, who looks like her again, then his glance falls onto Teal'c, who stares into the darkness with that face that he wears before Jaffa bolt around the corner.

"T?" Jack inquires and looks into the direction Teal'c is staring.

"There is someone," he says and gets up to full intimidating size. Just that moment, Jack can hear the rustle in the bushes, and suddenly a face appears between the green.

"Miss Jenkins," Jack says and signals Teal'c to relax.

"Mister O'Neill. Hello. I didn't mean to interrupt. But I haven't seen you in a very long time, and today I saw Samantha drive up and I wanted to say HI." The older lady waves at Sam, who instantly blushes. "I assume you are spending more time at Samantha's place?"

Behind him, Jonas bursts into a cough, snorting beer out of his mouth and nose.

"Uh, ah Miss Jenkins, I think there's a little misunderstanding." In the crossfire of Carter's stare of pure icy death and Miss Jenkins rosy glance Jack is unable to access the part of his brain that reliably supplies him with witty jokes and so he stutters a straightforward explanation.

"Oh, I see," Miss Jenkins eventually says and then, with an utterly charming smile adds, "I was wondering if you weren't a bit old for Samantha anyway." Again she waves at Carter then disappears back into the darkness while Jonas drowns on his beer for the second time today.

Of course, all eyes are on Jack when he finally turns around to meet Carter's eyes.

"Satisfied?" He says to Carter as he walks over and grabs the empty bottle from Jonas' hand. "I'm gonna get a new beer, and maybe a fresh shirt for you."

Jack stomps into his house, amending his previous thought of it being not too bad of Wednesday when he hears the doors slide open and close behind him.

"This was worth surviving," he hears her voice, and when he turns around, he finds Carter leaning against the kitchen counter. A soft smile curls her lips and her eyes sparkle with that glint of insubordinate—just the way he likes her.

"Always happy to help," he answers and tries really hard to sound like a harsh Colonel, but when he sees her reaction, he knows he has failed.

"I didn't believe I would make it out of there. I thought that was it," Carter says, and it scares the hell out of him.

"I had thought about the last things I was going to say to Jonas, Teal'c and you."

She steps closer, and he wants to touch her just like he had wanted to touch her when she stepped out of Nirrti's DNA-mess-machine. Jack remembers how she had reached for his hand, and he for hers, but their hands had never met—always separated by the reminder of touching was wrong. So it surprises him when she puts her hand on top of his—here in the safety of his kitchen.

"What did you want to say," he says almost inaudibly because he's scared of both her answer and his reaction.

"I can't really say it now, can I?" Like two giant, blue moons her eyes slowly wander up through the forest of her dark lashes and meet his, captivating him like a werewolf that turns into something else—a softer version of himself that wants to howl 'You can't die before we have what Miss Jenkins thought we're having.' But then there are already too many emotions stuffed into the room in his heart, and there's too much sexual tension in his kitchen, so he swallows it and smiles a sad, knowing smile. She smiles back, squeezes his hand, grabs two of the beers and heads for the door. Before she leaves the kitchen, she stops and says, "It's not that I usually have a thing for older man…" She lets the sentences linger there and gifts him another one of those smiles that take his breath and probably a day or so from his life. One day he'll die for her and he hopes that she will have told him before what she didn't tell him tonight.

Thanks for reading. Comments keep me writing.