Friday, October 20th 8:15 AM
"I keep thinking about that night, why do I keep thinking about it?" Arnold found himself thinking. He was standing in the hallway waiting for Gerald. The school was starting to fill up. Arnold had gotten in early as a result of being up at 5AM that morning. His father had come in extra late, or early, and started to cook something. Leaving the stove going when he fell asleep at the table. Arnold waking up to use the bathroom, smelled smoke and in a flash was downstairs. He saw the small stove fire, grabbed the fire extinguisher and starting spraying putting out the fire.
"Dad!" Arnold yelled, stirring Miles out of his sleep at the table. "You almost burned the house down!" Arnold said as the fire alarm started going off waking the rest of the boarding house. "Jesus, Miles!" Arnold's mother came down waking from the commotion. "Oh, hi sweety, how did you sleep?" Arnold's father asked Stella without acknowledging the situation. Arnold loved his father, but started to see where he got some of his own clueless tendencies from.
"Well, hello there Arnold," Arnold turned and saw Rhonda Loyd smiling up at him. Rhonda Wellington Lloyd, the self appointed queen of the school. Arnold never really bought into her reputation. He had gotten to know her as a person a little over their fourth grade year when she and her family temporarily moved into the Sunset Arms. They had stayed friends, Arnold never really thinking about the hierarchy of high school. She had grown quite a bit, getting to five feet nine inches. Her black hair had grown to a shoulder length, which she often styled. However Arnold always liked it down. She had a lean but full body. "Oh hey, Rhonda," Arnold answered.
"Well what has my childhood friend been up to? You become a celebrity and you all of a sudden just forget the little people?" She smiled sweetly at him. "She looks like she wants something," Arnold thought to himself. "I'm not a celebrity, I just lifted some weights. It's not like I'm class president or on the football team," Arnold said, rubbing the back of his head. "Well I would agree, it's not huge deal. For some reason though the whole thing has gone viral and you're the talk of the school," she said. She slid her arm under his, hooking his elbow. "Come, walk with me," she requested. "I'm actually waiting for Gerald," Arnold said not moving despite her cajoling and attempting to pull him. "Wow, you really are strong, Arnold. Like a big reliable red wood tree," She moved closer to him, brushing her body against his, and placing her hand on his chest. She began to tap her fingers against the Superman logo that decorated his shirt. She looked up at him and asked, "So why don't you have a steady girlfriend? You're always so… single." Arnold, not picking up her signals started to rub the back of his head again. "I don't know, girls never really respond to me. I guess I'm just bad with women," He said looking down at her. "Oh poor clueless Arnold," she said still smiling at him. "What say you take me out to dinner sometime?" she asked not breaking eye contact. "Well… I…" Arnold stammered at a loss for words.
"Oh look Phoebes, this is really rare. We get to see Rhonda attempting to mark territory," Helga and Phoebe walked up to Arnold and Rhonda "Oh hey Helga!" Arnold said excitingly. Rhonda noticing his eyes light up when Arnold saw Helga. "Hey there Football Head. Why can't you just pee on him like all the other dogs, Rhonda? The dance is painful to watch," Helga said. "You're disgusting, Helga. Please go away, Arnold and I are speaking," Rhonda responded. "Does he understand you when you're just howling in heat?" Helga said. Rhonda turned to Helga, giving her a dirty look. She turned back to Arnold and said, "listen, think about it. You can give me your answer later. I think you and I can have some fun. Plus your stock in this school will rise exponentially if we date," Rhonda winked as she walked away.
"Jeez Arnoldo, aren't you just bait for thirsty bitches today?" Arnold heard Helga say behind him. Arnold turned to face her. "What? No, I don't think so. She was just being nice Helga, she's not like, into me. I don't think she is anyway," Arnold said turning a little red now that Helga was there. "No she was, I think you should date her. Everyone should take a ride on a hot air balloon at least once in their lives," Helga said. Arnold noticing her becoming a little angry. "No, Arnold you go right ahead and bang the queen of the school, she's an idiot with no substance, but go right ahead. Waste the brainpower! Anything to get your dick wet!" Helga was yelling at him at this point. "Why is she so upset?" Arnold thought to himself. "Helga, I'm sorry, I…" Arnold started to say. Helga interrupted saying, "Yeah, you're real fucking sorry. Come on Phoebes." She stormed off, Phoebe behind her. "See you later, Arnold," Phoebe called back to him. Arnold waved to Phoebe as she turned to catch up to Helga. Gerald appeared next to Arnold. "What did I do?" He asked Gerald. "I don't know, buddy. I just got here," Gerald replied. They looked at each other in confusion and made their way to class.
"You should absolutely bang Rhonda," Sid was saying to Arnold as he and his friends sat together at lunch. Arnold had explained to the table what happened earlier. "Really, Sid? I should do that? Never mind the fact that I think of her as nothing more than a friend? I should just, do that?" Arnold asked sarcastically. "Yes, you should do that. Your question confuses me," Sid replied. Arnold rolled his eyes and looked to Stinky to redeem him. Stinky and Arnold remained friends into high school. Stinky the thin, tall country boy grew into a thin tall country man. He stood a strapping six feet ten inches. Still thin, but loved basketball. He elected for the same short hair he always wore. Stinky gave Arnold an empathetic look and put his hand on Arnold's shoulder. "Arnold, I know you have second thoughts about this. But you should definitely take her to the shed, if you catch my meaning," Stinky said in his thick southern accent.
"Ugh, you guys are no help. My question was about Helga. I hope she's not still mad at me," Arnold said. "My god, you have women throwing themselves at you and you're agonizing over some frigid chick who clearly hates you and all other men," Sid said. "Hey! She's not some frigid chick. She's an amazing person that makes you work before she opens up to you is all," Arnold defended. "I mean, she might be a lesbian, but I still wouldn't mind if she opened up for me if you know what I mean. She's pretty sexy, I'd throw her a bone or two," Sid finished. Arnold felt a flood of rage rush through his body. His eyes widened as he shot up, knocking the chair he was sitting in over, and slamming his fists on the table. "Don't talk about her like that, she's not some object for you to fantasize about. Nor is she some ice block you can't get to. Just because she's more complicated than all the other shallow girls you know doesn't mean you can sit there and label her! I don't know what it is about her but I'm not going to sit here and let you talk about her like that! You got it?!" Arnold was yelling and even from across the table the large mass of Arnold towered over the shorter and far more lean Sid. "A-A-Alright Arnold, I won't talk like that," Sid, the rest of the table, and whoever heard the shouting looked at Arnold in shock, never seeing him act like that.
Arnold took a second and looked around at the faces. He grabbed his chair and sat back down. "I'm sorry Sid, I didn't mean to shout like that," Arnold said. Sid smiled. "It's all good amigo, we all get crushes sometimes," Sid said. "I don't have a crush on her," Arnold said. "Yeah of course not," Sid said leaning forward and giving an obvious wink. "Listen what's important here is that you remain the chum boat," Sid said. Arnold looked at him confused. "You are the chum boat. You go out to where all the fishes are, in this analogy the fishes are the ladies. You put down the chum and all the fishes come to your boat. Now, you'll get most of the fish, but you can't get all of them. That's where we, the other boats come in and collect the fish you haven't swallowed up," Sid finished. Arnold looked even more confused. "God you're clueless. You're a chick magnet and we are the ones who catch the fruit you don't pick," Sid explained. "No I'm not, I haven't had a date in almost a year," Arnold said. "Doesn't mean they don't come a knockin," Stinky interjected. Arnold looked at Gerald looking for redemption. "Sorry buddy, it's true," Gerald admitted. "It happens at least three times a month for the past two years. Some girl gets it in her head that she's gonna be the one to bag you. She tries and you act oblivious until they go away. It's a decent possum like defense I have to admit," Gerald said. Arnold didn't know what to do. "Speaking of which, here comes a fish," Sid said motioning towards Kelly coming towards the boys' table.
"Hey Arnold! How are you?" Kelly asked. Kelly was a girl that shared Arnold's trigonometry class. She was a beautiful, petite girl with dirty blond hair. She stood five feet six inches, she had brown eyes and a great figure. She and Arnold had shared two math classes. The boys, with the exception of Gerald, looked at her. "Oh hey Kelly, I'm well how are you?" Arnold answered. "I'm good, I looked at the notes you gave me and I think I'm still having issues figuring out some of these sin and cos problems," she said. Arnold stood up and looked at his notes she was holding and he started to explain it. His friends noticed that she looked tiny compared to him. "I'm not getting this, do you think you could like tutor me? Like after school or something?" She asked looking up at Arnold with her big brown eyes. As Arnold thought for a second when he would have time to tutor, he looked up and saw Helga walking with Phoebe across the cafeteria to the outside. Arnold looked down at Kelly and said, "can you hold that thought? Helga!" Arnold moved passed Kelly heading towards Helga. Running across the cafeteria, Arnold tried pushing through the crowd, tripped and fell flat on his face. Some people around him laughed, but he shot right up and kept his pursuit. Kelly sat there watching him and winced when she saw the giant fall flat, and smiled when he shot up without acknowledging it. "I can help you, maybe we can meet up and see where the night goes?" Sid asked Kelly "Oh, What's my name?" Kelly asked Sid. "Um, Jan! No Marcia?" Sid stammered. "Go fuck yourself," Kelly said, as she rolled her eyes and walked away. Gerald shaking his head throughout the whole interaction. "The chum boat works, I'm telling you," Sid said to the table.
Arnold caught up with Helga outside as her and Phoebe were sitting to start eating. "Hey Helga! Hi Phoebe," Arnold said. "Hello Arnold," Phoebe said. "Hey there Romeo, what's up?" Helga asked. "Nothing much, um can I talk to you for a second?" Arnold asked. "I think I'll go see where Gerald is," Phoebe said standing and heading back in. "Phoebes, please don't leave me with this idiot," Helga asked. "Be nice, I'll be just inside," Phoebe said. She got up an headed inside. She squeezed Arnold's arm and smiled up at him as she walked by.
"Man, you just can't help but drown in chatch can you?" Helga asked with a sardonic smile on her face. Arnold sat down next to her. "Are you mad at me?" Arnold asked her. Helga looked at him. "Nope. You want slut it up for every girl out there, what should I care?" Helga asked focusing on her salad. "I didn't ask Rhonda out before. Why is she suddenly so determined to go out with me?" Arnold asked, mostly to himself. "Well at least she spelled it out for you Football Head. Most of the time you're clueless to the signs girls throw at you," Helga observed. "Everyone seems to say that to me," Arnold looked down at the grass. Arnold hated Helga being mad at him. "What can I say to her to make her not hate me?" He thought to himself.
A couple moments passed without a word between them. "I don't want to go out with her," Arnold finally said. "Oh?" Helga answered. "I mean she's attractive, but I've had tons of conversations with her, I've gotten to know her. She's nice but only to a point. She's smart but prefers not to show it or apply it anywhere. There's also not a whole lot of sides to her, you know?" Arnold asked Helga. "I've stepped in dried puddles with more depth than her," Helga responded. Arnold smiled at her, and Helga smiled back. "What about tiny brown eyes?" Helga asked, Arnold didn't think she saw Kelly. "I once asked her if she liked The Strokes and she had no idea who I was talking about. I can't date a girl who doesn't know what my t-shirts are referencing," Arnold answered, Arnold said smiling at Helga. Helga laughed for a second. Arnold laid back in the grass. Helga hesitated, put aside her tray and laid down next to him. They both stared into the sky. "You ever look up and just wish you could fly?" Helga asked. "Yeah I do, I wish I could just fly as free as a bird, or a plane," Arnold answered. "You kinda wish that shirt was the real costume, huh?" Helga asked, motioning towards Arnold's Superman shirt. Arnold nodded. "If I could just have the flight I think I'd be O.K.. I'd want to save people but I think I'd die trying to save everyone. I don't think I could save everyone that needed it," Arnold said. "You underestimate yourself, I bet you could save everyone," Helga said. A few moments passed. "You're better than you think, Arnold," Helga said looking over at Arnold. Arnold met her eyes, and they both looked back up at the blue sky. "You're way too good for those beavers, by the way," Helga said. "You think so?" Arnold asked. "Yeah," she said and paused between sentences. "You need someone as good as you. To show you how amazing you are and what you can do with that talent," Helga said, pausing before she said something else. "I don't think you see how amazing you are sometimes," Helga said. Arnold and Helga laid next to each other looking up at the sky for a while. Arnold had put his hand over hers at some point and held her hand. They laid together for a little while, holding hands. "Thanks, Helga," Arnold finally said.
They heard the bell ring, Helga and Arnold started to get up. Wiping the grass off of them. Arnold looked at Helga smiling. She looked back at him apprehensively and started walking towards the door. Arnold caught up to her. "What are you thinking about?" He asked her. "I'm thinking about pudding, and the fact that I didn't get any," Helga said without looking at him. Arnold opened his mouth to goad her into giving him a straight answer when Gerald came up to them and joined them walking, Phoebe taking her place next to her best friend. "Sid went on for like twenty minutes about his chum boat theory," Gerald said. "Chum boat theory? What the hell is that?" Helga asked looking at Arnold and Gerald. "Just some theory he has about how he asks out women," Arnold said trying to spare Helga the details. "Oh, by bagging the ones you deflect?" Helga asked, Arnold and Gerald nodding to confirm. "Not a bad strategy to be honest," Helga said to them. "Sid just isn't the least bit charming so wrong person to execute it," Helga observed, making the group laugh.
Arnold was finishing up his physics class, putting away his books and getting ready to head to the weight lifting club after his last class. Arnold made his way down the hall towards the sports building. "Well hello there, Arnold," Arnold heard a sultry voice whisper in his ear. He whipped around with a picture in his mind of who he wished the voice was from. He turned and saw Rhonda smiling back at him. She had her hands behind her back sticking her chest out to him, and her head was slightly turned to her right. She smiled at him, like he was already dating her. "Hey there Rhonda, how was your day?" Arnold asked casually. "It went well, actually. I had a lovely lunch with the ladies, of which you were the topic," She said, she got a little closer to him. "Oh, really?" Arnold asked, fearing the next sentence out of her mouth. "Indeed, we spoke about how we've known you for so long and how none of us have ever gotten the chance to get closer to you. Why is that?" Rhonda asked. "You're attracted to girls right?" Rhonda asked further. "Why does everyone think I'm gay? Like there's anything wrong with that, when Eugene came out I thought it was great and encouraged him to do whatever made him happy. I just don't get why not dating tons girls one after the other makes me gay." He thought to himself. "No, I'm attracted to girls, I just don't have an interest in some of the girls here, I guess. I'm pretty bad in romantic situations." Arnold said starting to rub the back of his head. "Oh, Arnold. No one believes that. In fact some of us who are friendly with Kate, and Melisa are apprised of how….." She paused for a moment looking him up and down. "….talented you are in those situations." She finished, raising her eyebrows. Arnold grew bright red, knowing what she was referring to. "Well some girls don't know how to keep private business private. I especially don't like the ones who spread rumors," Arnold directed at her becoming angrier. "Well these are things one hears, it's not classy to spread such libel. However, I would argue some of these rumors aren't exactly defamatory. In fact they are quite laudable," Rhonda started saying and was interrupted by Arnold. "And private," Arnold said curtly. Arnold looked at her reactions. "I'm really not attracted to her," Arnold thought to himself. "Look Rhonda, I'm flattered but I don't think you and I going out would be such a great idea," Arnold said running his hand through his hair again. Rhonda looked at him for a moment without speaking. "This is awkward," Arnold thought to himself. "Really? Not a great idea? Why would that be?" Rhonda began asking, crossing her arms. "Well, I think you're a nice person and all. But I think that you and I wouldn't get along too well in that context," Arnold explained. "Do you not find me attractive, Arnold?" Rhonda's face dropped slightly. "No, that's not it at all. You're really pretty. I just don't think our personalities match up well enough to date," Arnold said. "Well, I don't understand this at all. I'm Rhonda Wellington Lloyd, you must be the only guy who wouldn't jump at the chance to be with me," Rhonda said getting progressively upset. "Let me ask you, are you reserving all of this," she motioned to Arnold's body, "for a certain blond pain in the ass?" Rhonda asked. Arnold turned the bright red shade again. "Well, n-n-not really, I just," Arnold started, when Helga came up behind him putting her hand on his shoulder. Interrupting the conversation. "Bye Rhonda," Helga said casually. Rhonda looked at Helga, aggrieved. "Excuse me, we're talking," Rhonda said motioning with her hands towards herself and Arnold. "Bye Rhonda," Helga said noticing the increased anger in her voice. Arnold looked at the two of them unsure what to do. Looking down at both women at about the same height was a little surreal to him as he remembered the both of them always being taller than him. The tension in the air not subsiding, Arnold saw Rhonda weighing her options in her head. Arnold needed to diffuse the situation before it got out of hand. "Sorry Rhonda, I have to get going. I hope you're not too mad at me, and we can still be friends," Arnold said with is best apologetic face. "I suppose, although don't be surprised if it takes me a bit to get over you," Rhonda said looking at him, and then glaring back at Helga. Helga smiled sweetly and began waving as Rhonda turned and started to walk away.
"My god will you grow some balls please? You owe me Football Head she'd have never left if I hadn't showed up," Helga said to Arnold. "I think she would have. I was handling that. I didn't need help," Arnold said defensively. "Yeah right, I'll see you later big head. Go have fun breaking rocks with bigger rocks," Helga said as she started walking away. Arnold couldn't let her get the last word. "I'd have been fine!" Arnold called down the hall. Without missing a beat, Helga called over her shoulder "no you wouldn't have." Arnold bit his lower lip in frustration. "She's wearing the tight blue jeans with her pink tank top under her lavender off the shoulder top. My god, she's gorgeous, why does she make me feel like this? Dammit, she got the last word," Arnold thought all at once. Arnold turned back around and made his way to the weight room.