A/N: Despite the review, I did eventually come back down from the ledge I was prepping to jump off of. The story will be updated sporadically, maybe more often as I work on my mental health.

Barriss woke up from her heavily disturbed slumber and stood awkwardly in front of a mirror. She normally hated looking at herself but today was different, Anakin had told her to do it, and she was going to obey. Hands on her hips, shoulders back, she said, "I'm a great student." Still in her nightgown, hair a tossed mess, bags under her eyes from lack of sleep, ugly nose, ugly cheek bones, stupid glassy eyes, thin lips, skin like a corpse, scrawny legs, flabby arms, an ugly hunch forming in her back from her constantly making herself small before the masters, everything about her was utterly hideous. She shook her head; this was completely stupid. She'd have to tell Skywalker not to bother with his ridiculous scheme that sounded right out of Ahsoka's mouth. Ugh, he probably did tell her and they were probably laughing at her right now. She turned around and sat back on her mat. This was ridiculous. She couldn't go against the Code, and even if she could she'd never be good enough to get girlfriend, especially not a beautiful, influential, sweet girl like Senator Chuchi. She should call the whole thing off. Grabbing her commlink she held it for a few moments, trying to work up the nerve to tell Anakin she quit. It wasn't right for a woman to be with a woman, or for a Jedi to be with anyone. Tears formed. Thing was, she was too much of a nervous wreck to actually tell Anakin that she didn't want to do this. Well, she did, but actually doing it? That was another monster entirely. No, it would be better to focus on becoming a better Jedi, even if Skywalker wasn't one to agree.

Taking a deep breath she stood up to get dressed and walk to Skywalker's dormitory. Walking past her Master who had unusually opted to eat breakfast in their living quarters as opposed to the cafeteria she bid her a good morning.

"Going somewhere?"

"Yes Master, Skywalker wanted to see me."

"Oh, well enjoy yourself. And do stay out of trouble, it seems to follow him everywhere."

"I'll certainly try."

"Good luck."

"Thank you Master."

As she walked down the hallway, she practiced what she would say to him, repeating it again and again in her mind. She couldn't go through with whatever harebrained schemes Skywalker came up with. Finally coming to his and Ahsoka's dorm she hesitantly knocked, waiting to be greeted by Anakin who simply beckoned her "Come in!"

Opening the door she started, just as rehearsed, "Master Skywalker I don't-" she was stopped in her tracks by the sight of Master Secura in there with him.

"Barriss!" Anakin exclaimed happily, "Remember when I said I would be getting help?"

Her eyes widened in horror, "You didn't."

"He did not say much," Secura reassured her, "Only that we can help you with your romantic life."

"I don't have a romantic life!" Barriss protested, perhaps a bit too loudly.

"Not yet," Anakin conceded, "You came to me to change that."

"What, no! You took that on yourself! I wanted to learn how to suppress my feelings!"

"You already know how to do that," Anakin countered, narrowing his eyes, "If you really wanted help, you would have gone to Yoda."

Barriss shrank down in herself, she knew that was true. She just knew that it was wrong, a Jedi shouldn't fall in love, and she shouldn't want to be with a woman at all. She felt a heavy hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Skywalker looking compassionately at her. "I'm sorry," was all she could say.

"I get it. You're scared and conflicted. So was I and so was Aayla."

"You told her?"

"He didn't give me a name, but I wasn't at all surprised with you being attracted to a girl. You were so far in the closet I thought you were halfway to Narnia!" Barriss blushed again, prompting Secura to laugh, "Pretty much everyone aside from your Master and Tano already knows it just from looking at you. You're kind of a walking stereotype for a closeted lesbian."

"I am not!"

"Yes, you are," Aayla insisted. "So, how did you two meet?"

"Ahsoka introduced us."

"She cute?"

Barriss paused for a moment before admitting, "Very."

"She older or younger?"

"Little bit younger."

"Another Padawan?"

Now Barriss had to look down in embarrassment, piecing together what Aayla was doing. "Senator Chuchi."

Now it was Secura's turn to look bewildered, looking to Skywalker for confirmation. He simply replied, "Yep."

She smiled, "Well, that makes it all the more interesting, doesn't it?"

Barriss shrank down a bit.

"Tell me everything."

So she did as she was told; Barriss told Masters Secura and Skywalker absolutely everything, pouring her heart and soul out to them about struggling with the conflict of being a lesbian, a Mirialan, and a Jedi all at once, her only escape being when she was completely absorbed into her Jedi duties, electing not to share about her poetry journal or her pathetic attempts at painting in secret. After a few minutes of prodding, she even lifted her sleeves to show them the light-colored scars from when she used to cut herself for feeling like a degenerate abomination, a complete failure at protecting people on the battlefield, and feeling like a completely incompetent Jedi. She had been a year clean so far, as difficult as the traumas of the battlefield made it.

As Barriss broke down into tears, Aayla had half a mind to go right up to Luminara and start screaming at her for not providing any level of support to her student, not being a source of comfort for her, not being one to let her open up to her. Shaking her head, she took Barriss by the hands and cooed, "It's ok. It's ok, and you are not an abomination, a failure, or incompetent. Hell, if Anakin Skywalker is cut out for being a Jedi, you are ten times better."

Anakin nodded along until he realized what Secura was implying, "Hey!" Was she wrong, no, but he would be damned if he'd let an insult slide by uncontested.

The girls ignored him and Secura offered, "Now come on, we're going to practice your flirting."