I was feeling drabbly.Enjoy.-Techliche
"I'm not eating anymore of your damn pancakes, Damon," she said, shoving the plate of infuriating vampcakes back into his hands before he could pass it to her.
"Not this again. Bonnie, we go through this everyday; you know you love my pancakes," Damon rolled his eyes, already over her daily dose of breakfast melodrama. "Just eat 'em and quit complaining."
Bonnie rolled her eyes right back at him and stuck her head in the fridge, "Thanks for that. But I'm good. I'll just have….. this." She pulled out an orange from the bottom of the fridge.
Damon turned to see what could possibly look more appetizing than his golden and delicious flapjacks covered in whipped cream only to find Bonnie holding The Orange from the fridge.
"What is that?" he asked.
"It's an orange- you know citrus, grows in Florida," Bonnie griped as she pulled a knife from the wooden block on the counter.
"I know what it is, Bonnie, what are you doing with it?"
"Jesus Damon, what does it look like I'm doing with it? Teaching it salsa? I'm gonna eat it!"
She was way more aggro than usual this morning, and of course it was rubbing off on him.
"You're not eating that orange," he informed her, "sit down, I made pancakes." He dropped her plate on the table.
"I'm not eating your pancakes," she replied evenly as she sliced her orange in half.
"Dammit Bonnie, that thing's been in there since we got here! Just eat the pancakes and stop being stubborn!"
"This orange still looks brand new, and I'm not BEING stubborn, Damon. I just don't want pancakes! God, what is your deal!" Her knife snapped down over the quartered slices. If she wasn't careful she was gonna lose a finger.
"My deal? My deal?" Damon repeated. "Every single day I sit here and listen to you bitch and moan about these stupid pancakes and then everyday I watch you eat em like they're the best tasting thing on the planet, even when you try to hide it! So don't tell me you don't love my stupid pancakes because we both know you do!"
"UGH! I NEVER SAID I DIDN'T LOVE YOUR STUPID PANCAKES! YOUR STUPID PANCAKES ARE DELICIOUS!" she screamed at him. "Are you happy now? You win!"
"Then why are fighting me on this?" He was totally lost. It didn't feel like he'd won anything.
"Can we drop this, please?" she begged.
"Ha," he said, not the least bit amused, "no. Why are you all of a sudden against my flapjacks?"
"Because." Bonnie wished she'd just skipped breakfast at this point. She finished peeling the offensive fruit and tossed the peels in the trash.
Before she could even turn back, Damon had the orange slices in his hands, holding them hostage above his head.
"You tell me right now or so help me Bonnie Bennett I will send these bad boys to a watery grave down the garbage disposal.
"Damon, no!" Bonnie stamped her foot in frustration. She didn't even want the damn oranges in the first place.
"Speak up woman!" his wide eyes danced insanely as he dangled a fist full of citrus fruit over the sink.
"Fine, you want me to eat the fucking pancakes, I will eat the fucking pancakes!" She snatched up a pancake off the plate and stuffed it into her mouth whole and dry, "Yummy! So good! I mean who cares that all these carbs are going straight to my ass! No ones looking anyway, right!" She took another huge bite, her mouth already full and spewing chunks all over. "It's not like you care how fat I get, you've never found me attractive anyway!" she cried, throwing the pieces of pancake at Damon's slack jawed face.
His mind was racing. That took an unexpected turn. She was standing there, hysterical, crying with a mouth full of pancake, all because she thought she was getting fat? Where?
His eyes slid up and down her body trying to see the weight that she saw, but she was covered in an oversized flannel shirt that came down past her legging-covered thighs.
She's lost her mind.
"What the hell are you talking about, you're not fat," he told her plainly.
"Hmpf, what do you know, Mr. Eternal Stud! Mr. I Don't Give a Crap What I Eat- I Have Vampire Metabolism!" she crowded up in his face. "When's the last time you gained five pounds, hmm? TEN?!" She screeched.
She was aware she was becoming unhinged, but he started it, he couldn't leave well enough alone.
"Oh, please, I would know if you suddenly gained 10 pounds, Bonnie, where the hell would you put it?!" He tossed his fist full of squished fruit in the sink, shaking his head. She was obviously out of her gourd. Bonkers!
Absolutely nuts!
She-
She snapped open her flannel to reveal a pair of breasts spilling over the top of her bra before she turned around lifting the shirt and sticking out her butt, which did in fact look noticeably rounder over her thighs.
"Do you see this?" She asked unnecessarily, he couldn't take his eyes off her if he wanted to. "This," she grabbed a handful of her booty and jiggled it and Damon's eyes widened cartoonishly, "is what your damn pancakes are doing to me! I'm freakin' carb crazy man!"
Damon could only stand there ogling her curves as she flapped her arms at him.
"And you just destroyed my breakfast!" She was still shouting at him, happy to get a few things off of her growing chest.
"Do you have any idea how hard I've been trying to say no to those damned pancakes?! Everyday! And then you guilt me into eating 'em, and they're so fluffy I can't say no!" She bit off another piece of pancake, this time a more reasonable amount, and she sighed, savoring the taste through her salty tears. "They're just really good," she whispered in exhausted acceptance.
Damon finally snapped himself out of his reverie and picked his tongue up off the floor. He wiped his hands on a dish towel, while he tried to order his thoughts. She was right and he was undoubtedly wrong, something he hated to admit.
"Bonnie…"
"Save it Damon, I don't want to hear it," she turned on her heel to leave the mess of a kitchen.
"Where are you going?" He called to her retreating back.
"To find a bicycle, or a treadmill. Or a really big hole to fall into," she mumbled.
Damon heaved a sigh after Bonnie disappeared, his mind still filled with the shape of Bon's booty and the way it jiggled when she grabbed it.
Well. Pancakes it is then, he smirked.
AN: okay, don't jump down my throat! you know i love yall like the kids i aint got, so here is something old I posted on tumblr a whole while ago and i hope it keeps you sated for a couple days while a get a new chapter of the other stoties up. i got a lot of time coming up right now, during this Corona Quarantine.. I'm trying to get inspired to finish something.
-techliche