Earth 1

11:20pm

Life was such an oxymoron.

In front of Barry lied the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, with what would otherwise be the most peaceful expression on her face. Except for the fact that she was in a medically induced coma that was the only thing keeping her alive. The ventilator pumped up and down as oxygen coursed through her body, the ICU exhausting it's IV's and wires and every option to repair the unthinkable damage that had come to her body. Whatever had occurred took no discretion to keep the victim alive. The doctor had relayed the extent of her injuries to Barry when he had been taken to see her, but none of the medical jargon had registered to him; all he could do was steal glances at his wife, hoping to see some shred of consciousness, some light in all this suffocating darkness. Instead she looked as motionless as a doll and the only thing keeping him company in the room was the methodical beeping of the machines attached to her.

He couldn't take his eyes off her face. Somehow it showed the trauma she had been through, for despite how peaceful and cleaned up she seemed she looked instantly older than Barry had remembered. Her eyes were sunken in, and he knew with sinking dread that the last thing she had been doing was crying. Her usually dark and radiant skin was paled, and her arms and neck bore the remnants of bloodstains. She looked like she had been through war. Her pertruding belly that Barry had gotten so used to noticing, holding, and feeling the vibrant kicking of his children against was only remembered by the bulge of the bandages tied tightly across her abdomen seeming to keep her in one piece. It didn't come close to doing the ladder justice.

Barry reached over and slowly took Iris' hand, gently caressing it with his finger. God, she was so cold. Had he come too late? Was this all he would be left to remember her by? The thoughts that overtook him paralyzed him with fear. The possibility of this truly being the end for them was becoming more and more realistic. He felt his throat tighten. Even though he knew that Cecil and Joe were waiting to come see her, Barry wasn't anywhere near rushing being here with Iris now. "Hey baby," he fained the best smile he could, but despite his best effort his voice was barely a whisper. "I'm here." The words were failing him. What could he say? Did she even hear him with her? Every cliché he had ever internalized or preached to a victim was coming back to haunt him-badly. Barry lived off hope, found it in even the most impeccable circumstances. Even the threat of being swallowed by the Speedforce couldn't steal it from him, but looking down and seeing his wife in such an overwhelming position coupled with the fact that his family was torn apart and his children were at best missing before they were even supposed to be alive…

Hope had betrayed him.

Hope was a stranger to him now.

Before he could catch himself, Barry knelt out of the chair and kissed Iris' hand, his elbows pressed against the edge of the bed. He began to tremble.

I don't want this.

"Baby, please…" His voice broke, as did any defense he had left against it. "Please, you've got to be okay, I can't-" The air was sucked from his lungs and his breath hitched. He would sell anything- his heart, his speed, his life- to wake up from this hell. He'd break every bone in his body to have his children back with them. "I can't do this baby, I need you." His head fell in defeat on top of her hand, and Barry could feel every second of his own heart breaking.

This can't be happening.

"Donnie. Dawn," He didn't have the right to say their names.

I've failed them. "They need you so badly Iris. Come back to us." Regardless of how mechanical his responses felt, deep down he believed what he was saying- or, moreover, what was under it. Call it unfleeting optimism or abhorrent denial, but something in him refused to believe his children were gone. They were taken, kidnapped. That implied a reason. That implied they were still alive. He squeezed her hand tightly.

"I'm gonna' bring them home Iris." For the first time in hours Barry's eyes finally focused on his wife's face. If it took everything in him he'd fix this. He had too. He was the god damn Flash. He wouldn't let it end like this. A jolt ran through him and awoke every nerve and reflex in his body. His grief meant nothing. His family needed him now more than they ever would. "Come back to us."

With that Barry sped away faster than he ever had. In her hand Barry left a small toy monkey his mother had made him when he was a baby, one Joe had dug out of storage shortly after he heard of their arrival. On it Iris had inscribed under Barry's the name of her son, Donovan Henry Allen. He tucked the matching pink plushie inside of his suit.

He wanted her to be the first to give it to him when he got back.