V. The storm

After months and months of studying and helping Caroline on her free time, she had finally done the big test to become a certified doctor. She had been texting with Damon since he went back to New York, trying to maintain a shallow friendship so they don't have more "butting heads" moments on the days close to the wedding.

Their last interaction had left her worried, thought. He had sent her a text out of the blue at three a.m. on a Saturday

I think we should stop being immature babies. For Stefan's sake. And blondie's.

You're right. I still haven't forgave you, but in the name of our old friendship I can bury the hatchet for the wedding.

Good, because I wasn't going to give you a break much longer than that.

It doesn't matter. You'll be in New York after this, so I couldn't care less

Well you should care, because I'm thinking about opening a franchise, so obviously the first place where we'll start business besides New York is there. And guess who's dying to make you regret those words?

She was fucked. But she decided to put that in the back of her mind while she studied for her test and helped Caroline with the wedding. Plus, he was obviously sending someone else there, he had a life in New York, he was just trying to get under her skin.

Anyways, June was finally here and she was waiting for the results. Finally, after years and years of hard work she would be able to call herself a Doctor. She was ecstatic and nervous. If she didn't pass, she didn't know what she'd do and if she did, she had no idea either.

Caroline was busy but had sent her a text wishing her luck. She was rereading it when another text got to her phone

Hey witchy, I hope you're doing ok with all the stress. You'll get the best score of them all, I'm sure. I already bribed them.

Damon? It was weird. She hadn't told him that the results where due that day. She couldn't help but to smile, though, she kind of needed that.

How did you know?

I told you, I bribed them. Jk, Blondie posted it on Instagram.

Oh God. She looked for her best friend's Instagram page and she had uploaded an insta story wishing her good luck, it was a picture of them when they were 18 and just getting into college. She smiled wider.

Well, thank you. I hope I don't have to pay you back for the bribe

Nah, you just need to not step on my feet when we dance.

Done.

She looked at her phone with a small smile and saw that the results were already online. Her smile transformed into a fine tight line and her eyes widened as she looked for her name in the list with the results.

Her heart was racing and her phone wasn't really secure in her hands as they were sweaty and clumsy but she found the only Bennet in the list. She took a deep breath and looked at the final score.

She had passed. And with a very good score.

She let out a scream of joy a started dancing happily on her living room. God she was so ecstatic, she felt like she was walking (or dancing) on a cloud.

And?

I PASSD! OH MY GDD DMON I DID JTT

She wasn't writing as well as usual but she didn't care, she was finally a doctor and no one could take that away from her.

Congratulations witchy, see? Told you. You are the best. Even though you write like shit.

She laughed out loud at how weird this was. The first person she told was Damon? Really? They hadn't spoken for years and now he was the first to know she was officially a doctor?

It felt weird, but not the kind that makes you uneasy. It was the kind that made the air feel in your lungs inexistent and your stomach filled with butterflies.

Ok, it was time she texted Caroline and Stefan and a few of her co-workers.

She told everyone she had to tell but she didn't feel quite as excited as she did telling him, which made sense really, since she was talking to him and he was distracting her from how nervous she was.

Yeah, that was totally the reason.

Caroline texted that she was coming over with Stefan and champagne to celebrate as soon as they could. She loved the idea, but she couldn't help but to feel that it would've been much better if Damon was coming with them as well.

She hated that he still had such a big pull on her. But he was very important to her while growing up.

She remembered him as being the reason she wanted to get out of bed when her mother "went to another state to work". She left her with her Grams, sold the house to pay for her new life and told her that she'd come back on summer and maybe try to transfer her there when she had settled in.

About a month later they stopped getting calls from her and when they went to look for her, they discovered she had never gone to New Orleans. She didn't live where she said she did. She had just abandoned her.

She was ten. Her dad had died the year before and her mother hadn't really recovered from it, so she thought that maybe going to another state would help her move on. It helped too much apparently.

Her Grams worked hard for her to feel loved and to not have financial needs. She was so proud of her for getting into med-school. She just wished she could tell her she was finally a doctor now.

Her eyes started watering and she decided to focus on something else before she started crying, it was a good day, a happy day. She had to be happy.

She remembered the time when she finally accepted that her mom wasn't coming back. She cried herself to sleep every night for a whole month. She tried to not show how sad she was to the world, and apparently, everyone believed she was taking it good. Except for Damon.

He started picking her up to go to school on his bike. Everyday, he would knock on her door when she was brushing her teeth and everyday her Grams would give him an apple as a gift. He used to say that that was the reason for him picking her up.

He helped her get better. She didn't want to go to school or to wake up at all for a few days after her mom decided she wasn't enough to stay on Mystic Falls or to take with her, but knowing that he was out there, waiting for her made her stand up and go on.

At first she kind of resented him for making her get out of bed every day, but then it started making her happy, seeing him talking to her Grams when she got out of the bathroom each morning, with his blue eyes full of life and excitement for the day ahead. Some of that joy started rubbing off on her and she started feeling better about life in general.

At first it was just him doing the talking on their way to school, but as the time passed she started feeling better and talking more. They talked about anything and everything. Classes, their classmates, tv shows, UFO's, conspiracy theories, you name it. He would come home with her when they got out of school as well. And sometimes he hung out with her on her Grams house.

So when his parents died in a car accident, she was there for him every step of the way. He used to say that it was ironic, how they were best friends and both lost their parents. She never told him she hated that, because her mom decided to leave her, unlike her dad and his parents.

People looked at them like they were freaks for a while, because they were both orphans and always together. He made sure no one looked at Stefan that way, though. He could take it, but he hated that people treated his brother differently because of their loss.

That's when they started getting really close, because no one else knew what it was like. Caroline could feel the abandonment as she did, but the blonde still had her loving mom. Damon understood what it was to not have parents.

A memory came to her mind from the first anniversary of Damon's parents dying. Stefan had insisted on going to the cemetery but Damon decided to just go to a park instead and Bonnie tagged along.

They were sitting on a pair of swings. It was cold and cloudy, but she was just happy to be there with her friend, even when he wasn't talking that much. It seemed like he hadn't slept for a few days now, with dark circles making a stark contrast against his pale skin and lost eyes.

He seemed absent, moving barely his feet to move the swing and looking at the ground like he was looking for answers.

-Why did you want to come here, Damon?

She thought he wasn't going to respond but she needed to know that he wasn't falling apart inside and she didn't know how else to make him open up to her.

-Because this was our favorite park growing up. Mom used to be with me, here, and dad was always with Stefan, on that sand box. He was always much more social, so he wanted to be there with the other kids and my dad always followed him. He was scared that he was going to get hurt, because he was so much more sensitive than I was. Mom used to say that it would be the other way around, because I was sensitive but never really showed it and it hurt me more.

-She was right. You always try to put on a façade, but you're a very sensitive guy

-No, I'm not. I'm a macho- he said furrowing his brows, making her smile.

-Even now, you try to seem strong. But it's ok Damon, I still cry every anniversary of my dad's death.

He stayed quiet for a while, not looking at her and clearly biting his lips from inside of his mouth.

-Do you think they can see us? Like... If there's a heaven, do you think they can look down on us?- he asked suddenly and very quietly.

-I hope so. I'd like for my father to know that I'm doing fine

-I wouldn't go as far as to say you're doing fine, but go on

-I think I'm doing better than he could expect. I was a daddy's girl.

-Yeah… I think he would be proud of you too. Sorry

-It's fine. I think your parents would be proud of you as well.

They stayed silent after that. The only noise was the one of the chains of the swings. He was still looking to the ground.

-But what if they didn't go to heaven?

-Why wouldn't they?

-I don't know. It was just an idea.

She stood up and walked towards his swing, making him take his eyes off the ground.

-Stand up- she demanded and he obliged, suspicious of her.

-Why?

-Because you need something- she said before hugging him. He froze for a few seconds, they were friends and they had each other's backs all the time, but they weren't big on physical contact. Either way, he hugged her back and buried his head into her neck. He was just a little bit taller than she.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, making her worry that she had broken him, but when he pulled away, he looked less tortured, he had a few tears coming down but he wasn't as miserable as before.

-I didn't know you did hugs. I've been wasting my time here, behaving myself- he joked with a smile that finally kind of reached his eyes.

-I don't do hugs, only on special occasions.

-Like death anniversaries?-he asked with a crooked smile, his humor was back.

-Yeah

They left the park soon after, feeling warmer than when they arrived.

That day, though, changed their relationship forever. After that day Damon started making up excuses every day for more physical contact, saying everyday was a special occasion.

It started with the little things, like him putting his hand in the small of her back when he was walking past her, hugging her from the side when walking down the school corridors or slight touches in her arms when she least expected it. Until she finally gave in and started reciprocating these "accidental/minimal touches" as he called them.

They started hugging more, standing closer to each other, sitting closer to each other, until it was second nature being into each other's personal space.

That's why no one could blame her for having a crush on him. They were always together, they knew everything about each other and they were all up into each other's personal bubble. That could make everyone question their true feelings.

So she had a crush on him? Big deal. Every girl in Mystic Falls had a crush on him and they didn't even know him like she did.

The rational part of her brain wanted to call her out on her bullshit. Those girls had crushed on him because they didn't know him. She had feelings for him. The real him.

Her doorbell rang and she almost jumped out of her seat, feeling as if someone caught her saying that out loud. She remembered her friends were here to celebrate so she calmed herself, tried to remember that they couldn't read her mind and went on to open the door.

-This is such a milestone, Bonnie I'm so proud of you- said Stefan while serving them champagne.

-I knew you'd ace this test Bonnie, didn't I tell you? You're so amazing

-Caroline, I'm already your maid of honor, you don't need to suck up to me anymore

-I'm not doing that! I'm just super happy right now! Being on real life emergencies has really helped you grow up

-What do you mean?

-You're much more assertive now. Remember how you'd always run away from confrontation? Especially since the New York fiasco… But lately, you've been more of a badass.

-Well… Maybe it's helped but it's not like I have done that much confrontation on ER. I don't call the shots yet on any of my patients. I'm a resident still so another doctor decides what's best for them. I'm a subordinate. But they had asked me what I'd do and that has helped me come up with quick ideas and not to hesitate so much, so maybe it was helped me improve with that on my personal life.

-Yeah, you're more mature since getting into residency- intervened Stefan

-Maybe that's why this whole wedding and Damon thing has been working out so good

-Good? Are we not talking about how the engagement party now?- asked Bonnie trying to be more self-aware. And confrontational, her friends were right, she needed to start growing up.

-Oh, that had to happen, you guys needed to have a real conversation where everything was just out, there's no way you can move on without it

-Yeah, you're right, Care- she said absently while moving the liquid in her glass.

She had said a lot more than she intended on that night, but it was all her. Damon just took all of her anger and then apologized to her the next day. Did he have anything to say to her? After all both of them were very angry at each other for a few years. Did he realized he messed up and decided to stop bothering her or what?

-Well, so what are you going to do with your newfound free time?- asked Stefan, taking her out of her thoughts.

-Ummm…

-There's so much to do!- interrupted Caroline - we'll finally get to spend time on the details. The flowers, the sitting arrangements, the dresses...

-Well... Not that much time, though. I'm applying immediately to the Mystic Falls' Hospital. So, I don't know how much time I'll have.

-But... but we need to rehearse the dance and everything.

-Yeah, and I'll do it as much as I can, but if I get called back I'm going to take my chance, Care

-But Bonnie… I need you.

-And I need to have a job Caroline. What if I don't apply soon enough and they just don't need me later on?

-Of course they'll need you afterwards, but you should take a vacation before starting working again.

She wasn't looking at her in the eyes, of course she wasn't being genuine. That made her even more angry.

-So I can just be your puppet until the wedding?- asked Bonnie crossing her arms.

-What?

-Guys...

-No Stefan, let her finish

-I said what I said. I've been devoting all of my free time to you Caroline and it still isn't enough for you

They wanted her to be more confrontational? She could give them confrontational.

-You're my maid of honor

-I didn't ask you for this Caroline

Caroline looked impressed and very hurt, which made her want to take it all back, but before she could speak, her best friend cleared her throat.

-Fine. I hope you get the job. Let's go Stefan.

-I'm so sorry Bonnie- he said before hugging her tight and going behind his future wife.

Bonnie knew that it had hurt Caroline's plans but she needed a job, she couldn't just sit around, doing as Caroline wanted and looking pretty. She needed to work.

So she was going to lose a few rehearsals? big deal. Saving people was way more important than a dance sequence.

Yeah, that definitely wasn't convincing her that what she did was ok.

She hated hurting her friend, the image of sadness on those blue eyes came back and made her regret saying everything. This was all Damon's fault for putting those ideas in her mind.

I mean, she was tired and she was spending all of her free time with the bridal stuff instead of studying but she had passed. She had also slept only three hours a night the last couple of weeks to try and be successful in everything, but that had been her decision.

She had decided to do all of those things, even if she hadn't asked to be Caroline's maid of honor. Well, in all honesty, she kind of have done it a few years back. When they were like, eight. But she had no idea how much work it was or how busy she would be once the marriage proposal finally arrived.

She didn't know what to do, there was no way she could fix it and she still had a lot of champagne so she decided to drink it all and then sleep so her body could finally heal from the last couple of weeks.

She drank the whole bottle while watching Friends on Netflix and then looked for some other alcohol in her house and found a bottle of whiskey. She decided it was time to drink it, as a celebration of her success. And as a distraction from her fight.

She drank so much that she didn't realize the sun had gone down and decided it was time to go to sleep. But once she got to her bed she couldn't stop thinking about Caroline and Damon and the whole confrontation thing. They wanted her to be more assertive? To not run away from problems? Fine, it was time she did. She took her phone and called the reason of all of this.

-Hello? Bonnie? It's everything ok?- he asked sleepy but kind of worried. What a prick.

-No

-What happened?- he asked sounding fully awake now

-You're a jerk.

-…What?

-You told me to stand up for myself and I did and I got Caroline hurt.

-Are you seriously calling me at two a.m. on a Wednesday to tell me you got on a fight with Caroline because of an advice I have you months ago?

-Yes! This is all your fault!- she knew she was taking it too far but she couldn't really stop now.

-Are you drunk?

-No- she said unconvincing

-Oh my God Bonnie, why don't you go back to sleep and we can talk about this when I get to Mystic Falls on Friday?

-No, I need you to fix this now

-How can I fix this at two a.m. from New York?

-I don't know, but this is your fault, you need to fix this

-Bonnie, I can't handle you right now, ok ? I'm going to bed?

-Handle me? I'm a grown woman, not a child!

-Then act like one!- he yelled

- Classic Damon. Always messing up and letting other people take the fault. I'm tired of this bullshit.

-Well, I'm tired of it too. I thought we were on good terms, I texted you today to see how you were doing but apparently, everything I do is wrong on your eyes

-It is!

-Fine, then don't talk to me anymore. It's over, I'm done trying to make things right, this thing is beyond saving.

He hung up before she could make a rebuttal, making her feel angrier and somewhat sad.

She started crying without noticing and before she could stop herself, she was fully sobbing alone in her bed. Today was supposed to be an amazing day, she was going to pass, celebrate with her best friends, she was making amends with Damon. Everything was peachy. Like a sunny day that had suddenly erupted into a storm, with heavy rain, thunder and lightning included.

She knew deep down that she was being dramatic, but she couldn't help but to feel this way.

She also knew she shouldn't have called Damon, she was drunk and mad and yelled at him for all the wrong reasons again and she lost what little advance she had made with him. She also lost her best friend's support. She was all alone again.

She was well aware that the next day she was going to be hungovered and dehydrated from the crying but she didn't care. She had nothing to do, she didn't have to go to the hospital or study or help Caroline. And plus she kind of deserved it.

She was finally free but she couldn't enjoy it because she was feeling guilty. She hated this feeling with her whole heart because deep inside she knew she shouldn't be feeling like that, she had to put herself first for a change but she was so not used to it that the guilt was eating her alive.

So she fell asleep and slept until the next day. She woke up at three in the afternoon, with the worst headache she had had in ages and a few texts from her friends congratulating her on passing the exam and other stuff. Stefan apologized again for leaving her so soon and there were no signs of Caroline nor Damon.

She hated herself for that. She had messed up with both of them and she was too hungovered to do anything about it. She forced herself to go drink some water and then went back to bed to sleep some more. She felt like doing nothing more than being in bed.

The next day she woke up early, feeling refreshed after sleeping everything she hadn't in the last few days and wallowing on her guilt and self-pity. But that had helped her to realize she had to make things right, with both of her friends. Also she needed to apply for the hospital job and pick up some paperwork from Whitmore, so that day she went to run errands and while doing so texted Caroline trying to get her to have breakfast the next day with her.

After literally twenty eight attempts she finally gave in and responded with "ok". That was a win for her and she definitely needed a win.

-Hey Care.

-Hi- she responded not looking at her and sitting immediately. She wasn't early as usual or her happy self so she knew she still had a long way to go.

-I'm so sorry Care, I messed up. You and Damon have been talking to me about running away from things and it kind of made me mad. Mostly because you guys are right. I never tell anyone when I'm mad about something and then I explode and yell and cry and it's not a nice view. And I know I should change that and I promise I'm working on it.

-I know you Bonnie. I know that's how you operate but… I always thought that that was with other people. Not with me. I thought you trusted me enough to tell me when I was crossing a line instead of just exploding and being hurtful towards me.

-I'm sorry… I don't know why I never told you that all the bridal things plus the job plus studying… it was all wearing me off. Before the test I hadn't slept eight hours in months. And the last two weeks prior I was sleeping just three hours a night trying to study as much as possible and being as helpful as I could…

-Bonnie! Why didn't you tell me? I would've understood. You seemed fine

-But I wasn't… And I know I should've told you instead of lashing out. I know that now. I never thought I'd hurt you with my mess

-Bonnie… don't you see I was hurting you too? Dragging you along to everything when you needed to sleep? A basic human thing? Bonnie you are the most selfless person I know and I love that about you but you have to draw a line. You can't just drop everything for someone

-I don't do that for everyone. Just you- she tried to joke but Caroline shook her head and looked at her eyes very determined.

-I don't want you to do that Bonnie. That's not healthy.

She stayed quiet for a few moments. She was right. Damon was right too. And an epiphany came to her. She felt embarrassed but she felt like she needed to tell someone and Caroline was her best friend, so why not her?

-I think…- she sighed to calm herself down- I think the reason I've been so angry at Damon it's because I felt like he abandoned me. Like my mother- she felt her eyes watering but took a deep breath and kept on with her new realization- and I think that since he left I've been trying to not give you guys any excuse to leave me. You, Enzo and Stefan. I think that's why I couldn't break up with him even though it was obvious that we had to.

-Bonnie- said the blonde reaching out for her hand, squeezing it. Probably because of the tears streaming down her face.

-I think I regressed when Damon left me and I knew it, subconsciously… That's why I've been such a bitch to him. Blaming him for everything, calling him out in front of everyone, being so inexplicably mad at him. Not all of it it's his fault.

-Well, he's still guilty for ghosting you.

-Yeah, but I reacted too extremely. And since he kind of came back I've been losing control more and more. I… I don't recognize myself sometimes- she continued before taking a napkin to wipe her tears and another to blow her nose.

-Like when you screamed at him for not needing him?

-Yeah… or when I called him drunk telling him it was his fault that I hurt you. That's so childish.

-Yeah… but you were drunk, people usually do dumb stuff when drunk- said Caroline with a movement of her wrist.

-But still. I need to stop running away and start facing stuff. I need to stop leaving everything for later, like decisions, conversations, and thoughts. I've been avoiding even thinking about stuff, that's not right, Care.

-Don't be so hard on yourself, though. You've been through so much Bonnie. You're a warrior, you lost your dad at nine and mom at ten. Your Grams died before she could see you graduate or get married, of course you have a messy personal life. But you picked yourself up and you went through Med-school and you kicked ass. I admire you Bonnie

-Thank you, Care- they hugged and Bonnie let herself cry a little bit more.

-Ok, let's talk about better things. When do you start working?

-I don't know. They told me they didn't need anyone yet, but they'd let me know. So I don't have a job anymore.

-Oh shit. Come here again- said Caroline pulling her for a hug again, making her smile.

-It's ok, Care. I'll get to hang out with you more and rehearse the dance. Good thing I haven't spent most of the residency money.

-Yeah, that's a good thing. Can I text Stefan to tell him we're fine again? He wanted us to make amends and said that if we did we wanted to have lunch with us

-He's going to leave the law firm to have lunch with us instead of keep working? He must be really looking forward to it- responded Bonnie acting like she was shocked, which made Caroline smile- of course you can

-Great… - Caroline started to text her fiancé and suddenly she looked at Bonnie a little bit preoccupied- Are you going to tell Damon about your revelation?

-I feel like I have to. I need to apologize for the drunken call and I need to tell him why, I guess. Maybe that way I get to heal more properly.

-Yeah, I think that'd be good. I'd try to do that soon, though. Tomorrow he's gonna come with us to pick the chairs and the decorations in them.

-Oh. Fuck.

-Yeah, sorry. I didn't know we'd be into this mess when I scheduled it.

-We are in no mess. I am, you're mess free.

-Hell no. my best friend is in a mess? I am too. Knees deep. –They smiled at each other fondly before Caroline kept talking- So, I guess Damon hasn't responded your texts?

-Nor calls. And I've been as persistent as I was with you.

-Ok, then I'll text him and tell him that I need him to be in the Salvatore house at five today. Me and Stefan will take Jo and Ric for dinner, so you guys can have the house to yourselves.

-Why do I feel like you've been planning for this for a while?

-That's what I came up with when I figured you'd be maid of honor and Damon best man. I realized you'd need a push to hash things out.

-Well… it's a good plan.

-Great, I'll text him immediately.

As Caroline typed she felt her stomach tied in knots. She had to come clean with everything, well, almost everything. She wasn't telling him that she had feeling for him back in the day (and possibly now as well) but she was going to tell him that she had blew things out of proportion.

Caroline looked at her with a smile and a thumb up making her feel like throwing up. Sure, the storm had passed but it was still pretty cloudy and dark. Maybe even with chances of another storm erupting.

Good God what have she gotten herself into?

Hey guys! I hope you liked the chapter, I put a lot of information I was withholding from you and now you can kind of see the full story and how close they were and why.

Thank you all so much for your reviews, they make me SO HAPPY! I love that you like the way I write or how the story is going, it's honestly so uplifting to read those comments!

Also I wanted to adress the one were one of you said that it would be cool to have a Damon's pov and although that was an idea I was juggling with when I first started writing I decided against it because I wanted this story to be about Bonnie at center, yes I love their friendship and how they make each other better and the love they share but since she wasn't given many storylines in the show I thought this was a good way of write my story, have her be the protagonist and the character development while this storyline moves forward.

Either way, you're going to really like next chapter because I knew you wanted to get more inside of Damon's head so that one has a lot of dialogue between these two.

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed it and hopefully you'll leave me a message.

Happy reading!