IX. Jealousy?

A weird thing had happened that morning, she was dehydrated, she had severe memory loss and a lack of communication from Damon, who usually woke her up to go to the dance rehearsal.

She had a vague memory of him picking her up in Lexi's house, but not much. Maybe on the way to the dance studio he'd be able to enlighten her.

She was about to text him, asking if he was picking her up or should call an uber or Caroline to do so, when she saw a text from Damon.

I'm sorry, I need to go back to New York, Elena needs my help

What?! Elena? The girl that wasn't the one because he wanted to change him? The girl who seemed to had a crush on Stefan? That girl? Really?

Why did he need to go to New York to help his ex? I mean, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted, but he had committed himself to learn this dance sequence, to Caroline, to his brother, to her.

He just left her alone in this after he said he'd be there for the full two weeks prior the wedding to learn the damn choreography and he said he'd help with the last minutes arrangements and she was all alone on this again. Which was what she wanted at first, but not anymore. They were friends now.

And as friends he should've called, not send a half-assed text. She decided to not responded in a couple of hours, she just needed to make herself some breakfast and calm herself, otherwise she'd send a reckless text, accusing him of being the worst friend in the world. And he kind of was.

She just left the phone on the counter top to make herself a big breakfast, with bacon and everything, because of course she wasn't going to go alone to the dance rehearsal, so she had time to waste. In fact, she had the whole damn day to do nothing.

While taking the things out of the fridge, she couldn't help to look at the screen with furious eyes every couple of minutes, though. She was pissed and as much as she was trying to calm herself down and just enjoy her newfound free time, she just hated that he left without notice.

When are you coming back?

She couldn't help but to take the damn phone and write him back. The bacon could wait.

In five days

He responded immediately, probably because he knew he was doing something wrong. He dared leave her alone with everything and after picking her up in the middle of the night? Without telling her what the fuck happened? Bastard.

Well, thank you for letting me alone with the arrangements and everything. Have fun with your ex.

Careful witchy, I could think you're jealous.

Her blood started to boil and she felt like punching him in the face, but she calmed herself down and put the eggs in the pan to eat along with her bacon. Cracking them made her feel good, like she was actually hurting him.

She put the bacon in another pan and almost dropped it because she was thinking about his stupid face, she could almost remember a moment from the night before, but when she was in the brink of getting the memory her phone rang again. Another text.

Oh, and by the way, she works for me. I came to fix something regarding the company

Well. Maybe she needed the earth to open a hole up and swallow her whole right then and there because she had just made a big deal out of something work related. All because of Elena being named.

Could it be true? Could she be jealous? Nah. He was just playing games with her mind. He could've just text her he had company issues and that's why he needed to head back, he didn't need to put her name on the text. He wanted to make her jealous. Bastard.

She decided she wasn't going to care about it anymore, so she just called Caroline to see if she needed her and how they were going to proceed regarding the dance situation.

She unlocked her phone and a message from Lexi popped up

Did you guys boned? Is the sexual tension gone by now?

Sexual tension? She knew she had spoken with her and the girls about that but she felt there was another conversation… Oh God. Oh no. Oh shit.

She remembered it clearly now, him helping her out of the car, staying close to her, asking her to tell him about something. His lips so close she could've kissed him without any difficulty. Shit. She told him about her conversation with the girls? About them having to have sex?

And he stepped back when she said it. Oh God. She had made a fool of herself, almost throwing herself at him and talking to him about sex, of course he left. He left to be away from her and her horny ass. Of course, there's no other explanation.

But… he was the one who put himself close to her, he was the one who whispered and never let go of her hand while convincing her of telling him. Was that because he knew the effect he had on her? Or because he wanted to be close? And if he knew the effect he had then why leave the next day?

God. She thought she had enough questions before, but now that she had remembered, she was actually more confused. She flipped her bacon too late and tried not to wince at the brown look of it, she had made a mistake, but she could totally eat it, she just needed to prepare herself first, since she couldn't change what already happened.

She should start thinking like that on her life choices as well.

-Thank you!- she screamed at the uber driver once she finally got out all of her stuff of the trunk. She had told Damon the truth, she decided she needed to let go of some stuff, so she had a lot of big bags full of things that she didn't need anymore.

Some of them had to go to the trash, some were too personal (like her Grams favorite spoon) and some still had some life to give, but she deserved to have a full set of plates, instead of the last three that remained.

The uber driver left and she took her bags to the "Donate" section of Goodwill. She had many bags and the person who was receiving the donations helped her get them to his front desk and when it was all in there he went through all of the stuff, to make sure they could sell them.

Everything was in order, obviously, and she left happy to the nearest IKEA. She needed a new coffee table, a modern shelf and definitely a new cookware set. But maybe that one could be bought at Walmart, because those were cheaper there. Plus, they had free shipping, so she'd just choose one online.

She walked through the halls, looking for the perfect furniture when a voice invaded her head.

"Can you please tell me?"

An image of a very young looking Damon invaded her mind as well. She remembered seeing herself in him, seeing the pleading in his eyes and wanting to weaponize it as some sort of revenge for her younger self. She really was a bitch when she was drunk.

She remembered it all now. She had to stop walking and actually support herself with the nearest rack to not fall to the ground, because she was kind of dizzy.

She had kissed him.

She had fucking kissed him. Why? Because she was a bitch. Because he had said that they should keep their secrets for a little while. Why had that bothered her so much? She remembered seeing him change his attitude, from the young, naïve and desperate Damon to the nonchalant one.

What changed?

She had lost balance again. She was drunk. She knew, he knew. Did that mean that he didn't want to talk about the kiss because she was drunk? Did he want to talk about it while being sober or not talk about it at all?

She took a deep breath and started walking again, she looked like she was drunk and she didn't want anyone to see her having a weakness moment over a Damon thing in the middle of IKEA.

But shit had just hit the fan so she needed her best friend, she couldn't just keep shopping as if nothing had happened.

-Hello? Bonnie?

-Yes, Caroline. I'm kinda getting really confused really fast and I really need to talk to someone right now.- she said as fast as she could

-Ok. Where are you?

-IKEA.

-Ok. I'm coming as soon as possible, I haven't eaten yet, thought.

-There's a restaurant close by, we could have lunch.

-Great, because I'm starving and wasn't feeling like cooking. You'll have to wait just a tiny bit because I just got out of the shower

-Right. The dance rehearsal.

-Yes, but it's ok. I need a recharge of energies and a restaurant sounds great. I'll be there in half an hour, tops.

-Ok. I'll try to actually get something done and get the stuff I got here to buy.

-Ok, let me know if you'd rather I park in there to get your stuff in my car.

-Great. I get a good listener and an uber ride. You're great, Care.

-Always at your service.

-Ok, see ya.

-See ya.

She tried to focus on the furniture in front of her instead of the thousand thoughts running through her head. She went to look for a cart, before she was determined to get things done and after ten minutes, she could actually be able to find the coffee tables. Another five minutes and she found the one that she had in mind, she put it in the cart and kept looking for a couple of modern shelfs.

She found some in a diamond shape and decided she was getting two of those and maybe a lamp to modernize the whole living room.

She needed to make it feel like it was her own. And then the image of Damon in her kitchen, cooking for her appeared on her mind again. Damn, pancakes every weekend? She wished that was a reality. But that wasn't what she needed to think about right that moment, she needed to think about lamps and nothing else.

She settled for a nice and tall lamp made out of wood and went to check out right when Caroline texted an "I'm outside" text. She did everything pretty fast and was outside looking for her best friend's car in five minutes.

-Hey girl!- screamed the blonde while opening her trunk.

-Hi Care! How's it going?

They hugged and started putting the boxes into the car.

-Amazing, but we danced for a long time, so I'm gonna need us to go to eat ASAP

-Yeah, I'm sorry I couldn't go

-It's ok, it's not your fault. Damon texted me this morning about it and when I looked for him in the house to ask for explanations he had already left.

-Mmm… let's put this one on top of this other one- said Bonnie rearranging the boxes, she needed a distraction from the Damon subject before she exploded.

-Yeah, that'd work much better, ha?

-Yeah

They finished and Bonnie went to sit on the passenger seat to go to the restaurant and she was still taken aback by what she had done the night before and for his reactions and him being missing now.

-Are you ok? You seem much calmer than you were when you called me.

-Yeah, I'm trying not to think about it all, but it's just hard.

-Well, I'm here now. Tell me.

-All right, let's just wait until we're in the restaurant. I just need to put in order my thoughts and see if I can remember more, because I just have parts of conversations.

-Ok, I have no idea of what you're talking about, but I'll wait until it makes sense.

-Thank you- she responded smiling to her best friend.

She drove to the nearest restaurant while Bonnie tried to remember and she remembered some of the conversation they had in the car or at least how the whole sexual tension thing came to be brought up.

-And?- asked Caroline as soon as they got inside of the restaurant, with expecting eyes.

-Ok, I can only remember a few things from the conversation last night- she proceeded to talk about the car conversation, how he was wearing pajamas and her muttering the word "maybe" making him curious.

-I would be curious about that too

-Yeah… I… think I can remember a bit more. I remember feeling good about myself because of something he said before…

-Uuh romance

-No, I'm not sure it was romance- she kept trying to remember and then it got back to her- He told me he loved some stuff about me- she said with a little smile and her face on fire.

-Oh my God, it is romance! What does he love?

-I think he said something about me being funny? I think sassy was also said. I'm not sure, though, it's all a fog, really.

-But you remember him saying he looovees that about you?

-Yes, vividly- she whispered before being asked what they were ordering. They looked at the menu and ordered quickly.

-Is that why you were freaking out?-asked Caroline when the waiter left.

-No, that's not it- she cleared her throat and drank some water that the waiter had brought before telling her everything she remembered, whispering when she was talking about the almost kiss and how she budged to his influence and then whispering again when she talked about the kiss.

-Oh God- said Caroline before making a very high-pitched sound, which made everyone around them look at them like they were crazy.

-Caroline stop it, this isn't romance, he's the most frustrating person I know. That happened last night and he left? He was the one who made us be so close to being with, he knows he has an effect on me and then when I said the sex thing he seems… upset? Disappointed? I don't understand , especially because he just left with nothing more than a fucking text.

-Bonnie breathe- said Caroline with a smile- It's going to be okay. I get that this part is confusing but…

-What part?- she interrupted

-You know, the part where you both sort out your feelings. I mean, we can all see it. We told you, now it's just a matter of time before you guys see it too.

-Care, I love you, but you're not helping.

The food came and they thanked the waiter and started eating, because they were both pretty hungry.

-You know, you just need to talk. I mean, you're a smart woman and I bet you'd decipher this in a heartbeat if this had happened to me or any other person. It's just that it's harder being in the center of it all, especially when you have feelings you've been hiding for a while.

-So, I should look at it from an outsider perspective?

-Yes

-Then why don't you give me your perspective?

-Well…- she drank from her water again, she seemed hesitant but Bonnie wanted this so she kept staring at her best friend with intensity- I think he thinks this is a serious topic and he couldn't talk about it while you were drunk.

-I got that myself, I think the same thing. It was bad timing and that's why he said that we could still have secrets for a while. But that means we're talking about it right?

-Yes.

-And what else?

-Bonnie…- she sighed and ate a spoonful of the green beans in her plate before saying anything, the dramatic pauses were her thing- he doesn't want to just have sex with you

-What?

-Why else would he be discouraged? Obviously he wants to have sex with you, because of how the dancing thing went down between you two but if he heard you just want that, why would he be upset? Because he wants more. That's obviously the answer.

-And what if he doesn't want to have sex at all? What if he was just flirting because that's who he is and he hates that the sex thing is in my mind?

-As much as that can be a possibility, it's a very small one. Like I said, we all see it. Hell, even Mary Louise sees it. Nora sees it.

-How do you know?

-She told me

-Which one?

-Nora

-Then how do you know about Mary Louise?

-Because Nora told me too, dah. – Bonnie looked at her still without understanding and Caroline rolled her eyes before giving her more information-They're together

-Seriously?!

-Yes, why are you so shocked? Nora was the one to convince me to hire her and they seem very fond of each other. I really wasn't surprised when she told me, I don't know why you are.

-Because they're so different. Nora is so… shy. And Mary Louise is scary.

-Opposites attracts, what can I say? It's the same with you and Damon.

-No, it's not. We're not together and we won't. Because even if what you're saying it's true, he still went running back to New York the second Elena called him. He obviously still loves her and I'm just an idiot for harboring feelings for him.

-Now you're just being dramatic. She works for him, they had issues in the company that he, as the head of the company, had to solve.

-But why does she work with him? They are exes. Exes don't work well together.

-They do. And according to Stefan it has to do with the fact that she's a pushover and Damon likes that in a worker, because he believes he's always right. Also, he pays well and she needs the money to go study medicine somewhere, because her parents kicked her out of the house when she and Damon were a thing and she doesn't want to go back there now, so she needs the money.

-I do remember her making excuses for him the few times I saw her, but that's awful. You need workers that challenge you and make you grow, not just say yes all the time.

-You're thinking of a partner, not a worker. I agree with you in the partner thing, he does need that. And that's why you're ideal.

-Oh shut up.

The days went by and all she did was assemble her new furniture, watch the videos of the choreography on her house and try to replicate them by herself and then eat alone a lot. Caroline and the girls came over once and they watched a romcom while eating homemade popcorn. But that was about it.

Damon had texted her a few times, about the weather and how he wanted to come dance soon. He was teasing her, she knew and she hated it. She still wasn't convinced Caroline was right about him wanting more and she still hated that he went to New York because "Elena needed him".

Now it was the morning of his coming back and she couldn't stop thinking about him. How would he be behaving when they interacted again? Would he be talking about the kiss? About their "secrets"? About his time in New York with Elena?

I'm back witchy. What did I miss?

How could he just know she was thinking about him? Or was it just a coincidence? Either way she hated that he just tried to waltz in back as if nothing had happened.

Five days of rehearsals.

Uh. You're still mad about that? I think I have the perfect solution

She was about to text him back when she heard a knock on her front door. Oh shit. She hadn't had breakfast yet or brushed her teeth. Fuck.

Go away. I'm still in my pajamas

She went to her bathroom and started brushing her teeth while texting that and soon enough she had a response.

I was counting on that. I brought us breakfast

Another knock

Well you should've asked me first. I'm not opening the door on my pajamas.

C'mon! I've seen you on pajamas before. And I actually have my pajamas under my hoodie, we're in equal conditions.

She considered it a bit. She was wearing a very big and loose shirt, but she wasn't wearing a bra underneath and she really didn't feel like flashing him, so she put on a big sweatshirt on top of it and a small pajama short beneath.

She finally opened the door and they were definitely not in equal conditions. Yes, his hair was a mess and he was wearing an old shirt underneath his hoodie but he looked sexy like that. She looked like trash in comparison and she didn't look that bad, but this man. God. He was so attractive it was annoying.

-Hi Bon Bon

-Hi- she responded with a dry tone and turned around o let him in.

-Wow, I thought I was getting a warmer welcome. After all I brought your favorite pancakes.

-How do you know what my favorite pancakes are?

-Because you told me. Like ten years ago, but I'm still counting on that information.

-You seem to forget that people's tastes changes.

-I haven't. I just hope for that.

She wasn't facing him, but she turned after he said that, too curious to continue with her little "bitchy" act. He seemed hopeful. And very tired, also. He had big dark circles under his eyes and his face was a lot paler than before he left and it had been just five days.

-Why do you look like you haven't slept in days?

-Because I haven't.

-I'm still mad that you just sent me a text, but I want to see which pancakes you brought so put them in the table while I put on the kettle for tea.

He smiled at her command but obliged immediately. She went to the kitchen to put the kettle on and take the plates and mugs and suddenly she felt his presence very close by.

-I didn't want to wake you up, so I thought that a call wasn't the best plan. Plus, by the time I was sure you'd be up I'd be in a plane, so I had to communicate with you before that.

-You could've call me later then- she said without turning to him, he was by her side.

-You didn't seem very keen to take a call from me.

-You're right. Now take these and put them in the table- she responded handing him the mugs and plates and he took them without saying a word.

She was still very upset with him so she wasn't just forgiving him because he came in with pancakes, nor because what he said actually made sense.

-Anything else you want me to take to the table?

-Just take some cutlery and I'll be there when the kettle's ready.

-I can come back to keep talking, if that's ok with you.

She finally looked at him again and she knew she was budging. He looked tired and he was still up very early to have breakfast with her. Fucking bastard.

-Fine.

He smiled with that smile and went to the table with the cutlery and he seemed oblivious to what that smile caused on her, because he just kept on his merry way. And she had already forgiven him, but she wasn't letting him know that.

-So… why are you so mad?- he asked getting into the kitchen again. He stayed at a safe distance, facing her, while she was facing the kettle, with her right side to him.

-Because I thought we were back at being friends and I have hardly heard from you in days.

-I told you, the company had a problem and I had to go fix it. I was very busy, Bon Bon.

-You didn't told me that. You told me Elena had a problem- she regretted saying that the moment it left her mouth but there was nothing she could do about it now.

-Oh, so there's another reason why you're mad?- he asked moving closer to her, to the point where their arms were touching.

-No. I just… I'd like for you to be honest with me

-I've been a hundred percent honest with you. Ever since we started talking again a few months back, anyway.

-But you told me that you and Elena were broken up…

-And we are- he interrupted

-But you're still working together and when she has an issue you go running back to her.

-Bonnie, can you please look at me?- he begged, so she turned her face to him reluctantly- I ran back to my company, not to her. I have no feelings for her anymore, other than respect as a worker and I really don't want to let anybody's mistake sink my company.

He said everything with a soft voice, as if talking to a kid, but being less condescending. He seemed to want to make sure she understood and there was no doubt about that.

-What was the mistake?- she asked with a very hushed tone feeling like she had blown things out of proportion, again.

-An intern ordered 2,000 pieces of an old car instead of 20. And you know how many other cars can use that same piece? In America it's close to 500. They called me when they received the shipping and I had to go there to talk to the manufacturer and ask for a reimbursement, but they didn't want to because that's a lot of pieces. And we all knew that no one needed that many.

-Could you fix it?

-I had to pay for 200 of them. And to promise to fix the car of the manufacturer for free.

-Shit. So you lost a lot of money?

-Yeah.

-Did you fire the intern?

-No. I fired the person who told the intern to do their job for them.

-You're a good leader, Damon- she said thinking about what other people in his situation would've done.

-Thank you.

They looked at each other in silence for a bit, with many thoughts hanging in between them. She was thinking about apologizing when the kettle made a noise, letting them know the water was ready.

-Let's go eat those pancakes.

-I hope you still like them. And I hope they survived the trip.

-What do you mean?

-You said your favorite pancakes were the ones from "Little Heaven", so I went there and bought them.

-Damon that store is one hour away.

-Yes, but it's kind of close to the airport so it didn't take me that long.

-So you got out of the plane and you went straight to that specific restaurant?- she asked with a breathy tone, feeling the butterflies in her stomach. He looked away with his face on fire and mumbled something that she couldn't understand- what?

-I said I felt like I had to. You seemed pretty mad over texts- she couldn't help but to smile and wrap her arms around him, she buried her face in his chest to not do something stupid like kissing him.

-You're so stupid

-What? Why?

-I didn't need these specific pancakes to forgive you. I forgave you long before you told me you did that.

-Really? 'Cuz I couldn't tell. Plus, it made me deserving of a hug. All's good.

She smiled feeling his scent all around her and he kissed her head and put his chin in the top of it.

-I'm sorry for being such a bitch

-When? Now or the day I went to pick you up at Lexi's?

Her breath was caught in her chest when he said that. Good thing he couldn't see her face, because he'd see all of her thoughts in it. He wanted to talk about it now? She wasn't ready, although she thought she'd never be ready to talk about her kissing him.

-What do you mean? I don't remember anything about that- she lied unconvincingly.

-Really?- he asked pulling away to see her face and she took that chance to turn around and take the kettle.

-Yes, let's go have breakfast because I'm starving.

-Ok- he answered seemingly sad.

They walked to the table and the ambience seemed a lot more awkward than it was before and Bonnie knew it was her fault, so upon sitting she tried to make small talk.

-I went to IKEA and remodeled the living room, did you notice?

-Not really, I'm half sleep right now- he wasn't being very nice but she understood where he came from. It was all her fault again.

-Damon, you really didn't need to go to that restaurant for me.

-I did. Now eat them, they were in a thermic bag but they could be too cold by now.

-Ok, sorry

They ate in an awkward silence, which was stopped when Bonnie couldn't help but to make a very embarrassing sound when she tried the pancakes.

-Do you always moan when there's sweets around?

-Shut up! It's not my fault. I hadn't eaten these in years.

-I have and I live farther than you do.

-But you have a car, I don't. Plus I haven't really had much time off. Now I do, but while on residency? My life was just working and studying, nonstop.

-That must've suck.

-It did. But I'm grateful for it. I loved working on ER.

-Even with the deaths involved?

-Yeah. There's nothing I could've done to save them. And all the lives we saved outweigh the ones we couldn't.

-That's a mature way of thinking.

-You have to have it to work there, any other way your mental health's screwed.

-Yeah.

They continued eating, this time with a more easy silence, but she could see Damon's eyes were closing too much to be actively eating.

-You should go to sleep now.

-No, I promised Blondie that we'd rehearse the entire day.

-But you need to sleep, you're not going to be very good at dancing while falling slept.

-I can prove you wrong.

She smiled while rolling her eyes and he got the smile on his face again. That damn smile.

-Why don't you go sleep on my bed? I'd suggest the guest room, but it's a mess. Well, mine too, but it doesn't have boxes on top of the bed.

-I think I'm going to accept, but just because after the very small nap I'll take, we'll dance the whole day in your new living room.

-Deal.

He went to her room immediately and she tried to remember if she had anything embarrassing lying around. She kept eating, because he was so gone that he wouldn't even notice her mess of a room. Those pancakes were amazing and she couldn't help but to think about what Caroline said, him wanting more than just sex.

Maybe she was right. Just admitting that sent a million butterflies to her stomach and a goofy smile to her face, I mean, who would go to a restaurant so far away relying on the possibility that she still liked those pancakes she mentioned on a trip ten years ago?

That was a lot to take in. she finished her pancakes and also his' and then walked to her room to see if there was anything she needed to pick up before he woke up.

He was peacefully lying on top of her bed, he was so tired he didn't even put anything to cover himself up, so she took a blanket and put it on top of his body. He seemed so relaxed, so young and so innocent. She could also smell his scent in her whole room and she knew she was sleeping great that night.

Her younger self would feel so excited that he was sleeping in her bed, he would've totally convinced her to sleep by his side with a bet or just saying something about it being nothing and her just exaggerating it all once again. That's how they ended up sleeping next to each other in many parties back in the day, but always in someone else's house, never their own beds.

She kind of wished he had convinced her to sleep with him this time around as well and with that she realized it was time she stopped acting like they were just friends. She had feelings for him and maybe he did as well, according to Caroline. Plus, she really had felt jealousy over Elena and he had made it crystal clear that he had no feelings for her anymore.

Shit, that only made her more hopeful and completely nervous for when he woke up.

That was going to be an interesting rehearsal.

Hi guys! I know it took me forever to upload, but I hope you guys liked this one, specially the end of it. I know it had taken a lot for Bonnie to finally realize what literally everyone else already has, but that's just they way she is. I'm sorry again for taking so long, but at least this chapter if longer than others, hopefully that'll make up for it? And plus, next weeks chapter it's going to be a lot, so buckle up.

Also, thanks to everyone who told me that I had messed up with the chapters, that's fixed now and I wouldn't have noticed, ever, if you guys hadn't been so kind to tell me :)

So, hopefully you'll write what your favorite part was, what do you think about these two idiots, what can I do better and if there's any mistake, I'm right here, waiting for your reviews, so thank you! You guys make me want to keep on going, even thought life's like really messy right now. But I do like to scape to this world where these two can have their dynamic explored a lot more than it did in the show and also we get to see a more human side of Damon, the vulnerable side that he usually showed only to Bonnie and sometimes Stefan. And also, he's human here so sleep and other factors are much more important in this story than in the show, so I wanted to explore that about him.

Ok, now it's time I keep doing what I'm supossed to and leave this here for you to enjoy.

Happy reading!