Like it says in the description, this idea originally belongs to the incredibly talented alightintheshadows, and I am honoured to have been trusted with writing your story. I would also like to thank you for reading through this first chapter for me to see if it gained your approval. So thank you very much, alightintheshadows for taking time to read through this and also to answer to my many PMs.

And if there is any confusion, I write Ishbal instead of Ishval because I was introduced to the manga before the two animes, so Ishbal still feels a lot more natural to me no matter how much I adore Brotherhood.

And this is an AU where Ed stays in the military after the Promised Day, which is explained rather quickly.

And there will probably be some gore/violence because it's me, and of course there will be some swearing.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.

Chapter one.

The walk to Ishbal was hot.

Really, really hot.

Having been relieved of one of his metal limbs was of course a huge help, but it still didn't prevent his left leg from pretending it was an oven while boiling the skin around his port.

Ed wiped the sweat out of his fringe and looked over at the Brigadier General. Mustang wasn't looking much better than he was, even if he had left his blue wool uniform back home and was looking a bit too much like Kimblee for comfort in his milk-coloured suit. Ed knew it wasn't the man's fault, he didn't know after all, but the white hat really didn't help.

It made the old wound in his side itch as he looked up at the man walking through the sand beside him.

Things had changed a lot since the Promised Day four months ago. Al was back in his body, but Ed had actually decided to stay in the military for a very simple reason: he wanted Al to go to a university. His brother had lost so much during those five years and he was clever as hell, so when Al mentioned it in his half-awake state shortly after he was admitted to the hospital, Ed decided that he owed him at least that.

But that meant that he needed a job, so when Führer Grumman offered him to stay with the military, Ed accepted. So now Ed had gone from being the Fullmetal Alchemist to Major Elric, but he was still working under Mustang and was surrounded by his old team usually, so things were pretty okay. Al would be attending Central University next year once his body was completely healed from being inside the Gate for so long.

"Are you okay, Edward?" the General asked.

"Yeah, just hot." Ed wiped away some more sweat. His fringe was clinging to his face.

"Your automail's not overheating, right? Heatstrokes are pretty normal out here."

"I'm fine, General."

"At least have some water. We still have a while to go." Mustang grabbed the back of Ed's rucksack and pulled out his water bottle, handing it to him.

"Thanks," Ed mumbled.

Mustang had these last few months become a lot more bearable and something like an uncle to Ed and Al. Ed had been staying with him for the two months that Al had been recuperating in Central Hospital at Mustang's insistence and the man had actually turned out to be pretty okay to be around. He had become a lot more protective about Ed and Al after everything that had happened on the Promised Day, apparently watching Ed disappear into a giant eye with black hands disintegrating him had scared the older man quite a bit. So after a very awkward exchange of words in Al's hospital room, things had become a lot friendlier between the three of them.

Once Ed was done sipping the tepid water, he handed it back to Mustang who put it back inside the rucksack. Ed pulled the hood of his white coat further down his face in order to shield himself from the blazing sun. Ed was seriously regretting his choice of black trousers and tank top, but what's done is done.

They were on their way to Ishbal on a sort of reconnaissance trip to see how things were really looking. Ed knew that there were guards stationed around the area in order to keep the Ishbalan survivors from taking back their holy land, which was why Lieutenant Hawkeye was back in East City. Sending both the Hero of Ishbal as well as the Hawk's Eye would probably arouse a lot of hateful feelings, so Ed had volunteered to go as it also gave him a chance to visit Resembool again on the way over, which was where they had left Al.

There were a lot of people against what the General was trying to do, so Ed knew he had painted a great, red target on his back, but as he had told Mustang when he had pointed it out, "I usually wear a red coat anyways so it doesn't really show."

They reached the top of a small hill and the view that met them made Ed's stomach twist. He'd heard about the horrors of Ishbal, but actually seeing the destruction and the meagre ruins of the town in front of them was something quite different. Seeing the fence that surrounded the ruins with the soldiers stationed around it made anger surge through him. Envy may be dead as well as the other homunculi, but the number of people they had killed, the families they had destroyed, the lives they had ruined, those still remained. And that fence kept the remaining Ishbalans from even claiming what was rightfully theirs.

Ed felt a hand on his shoulder and looked over at Mustang. His face had tightened and his eyes were full of pain. "You okay?"

"Yeah, you?"

"As fine as can be expected. Come, let's go."

Ed kept eyeing the older man, trying to read just a bit of what was going on in his mind at the sight in front of them. Ed felt sick just at seeing these ruins, but Mustang had actually fought here. All Ed could read from him was regret. Deep, profound regret. But Ed could only see that because he knew him. To the two soldiers they were walking up to he looked as gathered and unfeeling as always.

"Who are you?" the oldest of the soldiers asked. He was fit and had short, brown hair. He looked like he was in his late thirties.

"I'm Brigadier General Roy Mustang and this is Major Edward Elric. We are here to speak to Colonel Fredricks." Mustang held up his pocket watch.

The two soldiers straightened immediately and saluted them both before unlocking the heavy steel gate and letting them through. There was supposed to be a small military base in the middle of this ruined town. They were here to speak to this Colonel Fredricks to strategise about the safest route through the region. Apparently there had been an outbreak of attacks on the military personnel stationed along the fences. It was the reason why Mustang was even wearing civilian clothes.

They made their way through the town and Ed had to say that he felt sick. The buildings were ruined, in many places there were just deep pits after explosions, but what really brought it home to Ed was the hundreds of small mounds with pieces of wood sticking out of them. They were walking through a graveyard. A military occupied graveyard.

Ed stopped walking once he reached a particularly large pit. He had spotted half a plush cat, just like the one Al used to have when they were small. It was torn and had burn marks, but Ed could imagine a little kid looking like the Ishbalan version of his little brother, clinging to his toy where he lay under the bed, terrified and crying. Then came a bomb and everything just exploded. Everything exploded and all that was left was half a toy cat.

Ed felt a strong urge to phone his brother just to make sure that he was safe and sound. Ever since Al got his body back, Ed had been much more stressed about his brother's wellbeing because now he could get sick. He could get colds. He could get hit by a car or shot by a bullet and actually die. He could fall down the stairs and break his neck. A lot of things could go wrong and seeing that reminder about Al made his big brotherly anxiousness triple instantly.

"Edward?" Mustang placed his hand on his right shoulder, startling him. Ed still wasn't quite used to actually being able to feel anything touching his right arm. "Are you sure that you're fine?"

"Yeah. Al just used to have one of those," Ed said, nodding his head towards the plush cat. That was one of the nice things about the way things had turned out with the General. It was actually possible to say stuff like that without being afraid of being mocked because the man understood and would actually say it when stuff bothered him too, so it was an Equivalent Exchange.

Mustang squeezed his shoulder and led him away from the sight. He only let go of it once they saw the military base. It was really just a lot of large tents and soldiers milling about. Ed had to say that shade sounded like a very good thing right now.

They walked up to the largest of the tents and Mustang flashed his pocket watch at the guards before they could even ask. Once again they received salutes and Mustang then led the way through the tent flap. They entered a rather cooler area that unfortunately didn't make up for the smell. It was never a good idea to put a bunch of soldiers inside a tent in a desert. Sweat permeated the room, making the air supply feel kind of restricted.

A man in his thirties smiled as he saw them, standing up from his desk before shaking hands with Ed and saluting Mustang. He had short, blonde curls and a thin moustache making his rather pointed chin even more visible. "General Mustang, Major Elric, I've heard so much about you! Let me assure you that it is an honour to meet such fine officers as yourselves. I'm Colonel John Fredricks."

"Hi," Ed said. He saw no point in saluting this guy if he really found it so honourable to meet them.

"Well, as I'm sure you were informed over the phone, this really isn't a good time to be here. Soldiers are being attacked, no doubt by those Ishbalan scoundrels. May I –"

"Why are you calling them that?" Ed interrupted him.

"I beg your pardon?" Fredricks seemed confused.

""Scoundrels" why do you call them that? What makes Ishbalans into scoundrels? I'd have thought that you'd might see them as victims when you see the destruction and suffering that happened here."

"Well, of course I don't mean all Ishbalans …" The man didn't seem too keen on starting off on the wrong foot.

"Yes, you do." After everything that had happened because of the Ishbalan War of Extermination, Ed was ready to challenge anyone who meant that the Ishbalans deserved it. It just reminded him of the homunculi.

"I, uhm, well …"

Mustang put a hand on Ed's arm to get him to cool down. Ed still couldn't understand how he could listen to people like this. He glared at Fredricks one last time then he turned around and sat himself on the chair standing a couple of metres to his left. He just crossed his arms and let Mustang deal with the self-righteous idiot on his own.

Ed watched as Fredricks tried to suck up to Mustang while he just talked calmly and professionally back at him. Apparently there had been quite a few attacks, although no deaths so far, but that seemed to have been luck more than anything. There had been reports of officers who had had limbs cut off during the attacks.

The two men talked for at least ten minutes until Mustang seemed satisfied and rolled up a map that he put in his own rucksack. Fredricks saluted them as they left the tent and Ed felt like he was finally able to breathe after being stuck inside that sweaty tent.

"That self-righteous bastard actually mean that Ishbalans are scoundrels? What the hell is wrong with him?" Ed whispered furiously.

"Yes, and there are plenty of people that believe likewise. We can't fight them all, it will only get you into trouble, especially here. The officers that are stationed here mostly think that way, so it would be better if you kept your opinions to yourself this time around." Mustang went over to a well and began refilling their water bottles. "We'll walk for about four hours and then we're setting up camp for the night around the North-Western guard point."

"Sure."

And so they walked, sweated, talked and then sweated a bit more for the next hours until they passed the guards and went into another district. They set up their tent and ate some canned food heated on a fire that Mustang had started by snapping his gloved fingers.

The sun began to set and with the lack of vegetation or houses, they witnessed a spectacular sunset as the sky was painted red, orange and peach. They didn't say anything about it, though. It had something to do with something so beautiful falling upon something so inhuman as their surroundings.

Once the sun disappeared, it got cold pretty quickly and they went inside the tent and curled up inside their sleeping bags.

"How can you listen to people like that and actually treat them with respect?" Ed asked. He'd been wondering about it for the last few hours. Mustang had a short temper, Ed knew that, so he'd have thought the man would have zero patience with people about the Ishbalan Massacre.

"Treating someone with respect doesn't necessarily mean that you respect them, Ed."

"But still –"

"It's one of the things you have to learn if you want to rise through the ranks. I've had plenty of training in that department and I have a goal pushing me forwards. It makes it worth listening to all the self-righteous bastards in the world."

"Makes sense, I guess. Well, good night, General." Ed turned over on his side, facing the older man.

Mustang reached a hand out of his sleeping bag and ruffled Ed's hair. "Good night, Ed. Thank you for doing this with me."

"Sure." And with that Ed closed his eyes, not bothering that the hand was now slowly stroking his cheek. And so he was soon asleep from the gentle, warm touch of the man that was the closest thing he had to father.

"I love you, Dad," Ed told the man with the golden beard.

Then suddenly he just left. He just left and he didn't come back.

Ed stood watching that door, waiting for when it would open to reveal that Ed hadn't been fooled. That he had been loved. That he hadn't been a stupid kid.

It didn't happen.

He felt tears running down his cheeks.

Ed looked to his right. Mom was dying in the room there.

Ed closed his eyes.

He turned left. A great suit of armour was standing there, looking at a plate of food that he couldn't eat.

Behind him Ed heard the wheezing as the thing from the failed transmutation reached out for him and then spewed out a lungful of blood.

Then the front door was opened and Ed looked at it. Al, Winry and Granny were standing outside, looking at him. Ed wasn't supposed to be here, the house was about to be burned down. He saw himself walking up to the house, setting it on fire.

Ed ran for the door, but the door slammed shut.

"You don't deserve us after everything that you messed up. Even now you're going to make things wrong again, aren't you?" Al's voice said, although much colder than Ed had ever heard it.

Smoke was filling Ed's lungs, he couldn't breathe.

I can't breathe! Help! I can't breathe!

Ed woke with a start, finding Mustang's gloved hand covering his nose and mouth. The other was pinning his chest to keep him still. He was obviously trying to wake him quietly. Ed lifted his arms as much as he could while they were still inside the sleeping bag to show that he was awake.

"Somebody's outside the tent, be quiet," Mustang whispered urgently into his ear as he removed his hand.

Ed took a few deep breaths. It had felt a lot more urgent in the dream than it was in reality. Mustang didn't move other than that, so the pressure on Ed's chest was still there and he could hear the quiet breaths close to his ear. "I've got my ignition gloves on, don't move if they attack. If we're lucky, they only think there's one of us and then you can sneak up on them."

"Okay," Ed whispered back.

They waited for a few minutes and suddenly Ed saw something that made his heart sink. "They're burning the tent!"

Fire was slowly spreading across the entrance of the tent. Ed pulled his feet towards him.

He could only guess that Mustang had pulled his knife out from his rucksack as Ed suddenly heard a ripping sound a few seconds after the pressure on his chest disappeared. Next second Mustang was pulling Ed out of the sleeping bag by his armpits like he was some kind of child, before he headed out the newly made opening and snapped, probably to make a distraction. Half the tent was burning now and Ed suddenly felt a couple of arms drag him out. They didn't belong to the General however, so Ed quickly elbowed the guy in the stomach as soon as he got the chance. The man let go of him which was when Ed saw what had happened to Mustang. He was lying on the ground just outside the tent and was clearly unconscious.

Four dark clad guys jumped on Ed and he began fighting them, punching one, kicking another, elbowing a third. But the fourth one managed to get in a well-aimed punch to the gut, knocking the wind out of him. Ed fell to his knees and had another two guys pinning him to the ground as they tied his wrists together tightly and then did the same with his ankles.

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" Ed shouted, but that only earned him a gag.

The original four guys went over to Mustang and picked him up, carrying him away from Ed. Ed kept shouting profanities into his gag as he was lifted up on some muscular guy's shoulder and carried away backwards.

Ed was pissed off, yes, but for once, he was also scared. Not having his alchemy anymore made him a lot more vulnerable and definitely an easier target. This was the first time anything like this had happened since Ed was cleared for field work.

He struggled as much as he could, but there really wasn't any point. Ed didn't know how long he was being carried like that, but he felt pricking in his arms from being tied behind his back. After what had to be at least thirty minutes, the muscular guy threw him inside the backseat of a car and slammed the door closed. The car took off with a squeal of the tires and Ed was soon being thrown about as the driver used the steering wheel in a most unpractised fashion.

Ed didn't know where they were as the car was parked, only that he was car sick for the first time in his life. The muscular guy lifted him out again and carried him inside a cave that seemed to hide some sort of temporary base. The man dropped Ed to the ground which he soon realised was covered in blood. He felt his stomach clench. If these were the guys that cut off people's limbs, then Ed knew from experience that he was in for a world of pain.

Ed felt a needle being plunged into his neck. He shouted into his gag for whoever it was to get the hell away from him, but he only heard laughter instead from his attacker. He soon felt his body going limp and he wouldn't have been able to move even if he hadn't been tied up. He felt the gag being removed from his mouth and Ed was embarrassed as hell to realise that he was now drooling uncontrollably onto the bloody stone ground.

Someone grabbed his hair and pulled his face up. Ed looked straight at a guy dressed in a military uniform, and judging by his many medals, he was probably a high-ranking officer as well.

Ah, shit. Can't the military be on my side just for once?

"Hello, Edward," the man began, grinning at him. He had black hair and a black beard with traces of red and grey in it. Ed would have guessed he was in his mid-forties. "I heard you don't like the military occupation of Ishbal. So sad." He grinned wider. "For you, that is. For you and that soft-hearted Brigadier General of yours."

Ed glared.

"Don't worry, we can't really kill you both, people won't trust the military if we kill the great Roy Mustang. You, on the other hand, you're expendable. You're old news now that you no longer have your alchemy. But don't fear, we have one last big task for you. You're going to scare Roy Mustang away from Ishbal."

Ed rolled his eyes. There was no way he would do that.

"Oh, you misunderstand me, Edward, you will do so whether you want to or not. You're going to be an example of what happens if he doesn't back off, so I'm sorry, kid, but you're not going to leave this place in one piece." Then he laughed. A hoarse, thin laugh. "Or alive, for that matter."

Roy woke up as the alarm clock rang. It said six in the morning.

So it was just a nightmare. Good. That meant that Ed was safe. Roy hadn't gone to visit Ishbal with him no matter how vivid the nightmare had been. They hadn't been attacked and he hadn't been knocked unconscious as he left the tent.

He hadn't ruffled Ed's hair as he said good night and had let the hand rest on the boy's cheek as he fell asleep a few minutes after him.

That last part actually left him a bit sad. He had grown very fond of the Elrics and was in a way seeing himself as their semi-adoptive father. If the invincible, untouchable Edward Elric had actually allowed him to show that simple sign of affection, then Roy would have been very happy.

He stood up from the bed and went downstairs to find himself some breakfast, only to find a cardboard box standing at the bottom if the stairs.

Roy felt his stomach clench as he saw the red liquid that had soaked through the bottom of the box. He walked carefully towards it, finding an envelope on the top of the box. He picked it up, sliding it open and pulled out the letter inside.

General Mustang, we suggest that you stop your interference in Ishbal if you don't want to see your other subordinates this way as well.

P.S. It goes without saying, but if you mention the connection to Ishbal to anybody, we'll take that Alphonse kid you seem to care so much about too.

Roy felt sick. He looked at the box in front of him again.

Oh god, no. Please, please, please no. It was a nightmare! It was a nightmare!

He opened the box shakily.

Then he threw up. He threw up until he was crying and shivering and couldn't stand anymore. His insides had been twisted again and again and his whole body was aching with emotional pain.

Maybe they're just teasing. Maybe it's not him, maybe it's just another person's blonde hair.

Roy shivered violently as he stood up again and grasped the golden hair, slowly turning the decapitated head around.

His knees gave out and he felt like he could hardly breathe. There weren't anybody else with that fringe and that antenna combination. Not with that hair colour. Even if the eyes had been gouged out, leaving bloody craters in the young face and the teeth had been pulled out so that the lips slightly sunk into the mouth, there was no doubt.

Roy's chest, stomach, everything, hurt. It ached with a hollow pain that kept him from breathing properly. He was in agony.

It was even worse than with Maes because he had promised himself to protect the boy.

His boy.

Edward Elric.

Was dead.