Chapter nine

Ed watched from a slight distance as the people walked up to his gravesite. Greg really didn't want him to go, which had resulted in Ed knocking him unconscious and walking over to the cemetery on his own. There really wasn't a good reason that Ed shouldn't be allowed to go, just that Greg didn't think it was a good idea to let him be out in public. Ed couldn't understand why, his wig left him with an unrecognisable hairstyle and his eyes were now blue-grey thanks to the coloured contacts. There hadn't been any meetings yet that Ed had to attend and Ed was getting sick and tired of being stuck in that little apartment.

So here he was, leaning against a tree, watching as people he vaguely recognised from missions gathered as well as his colleagues and friends.

Then Al and Mustang walked up to the front of the group. Al was wearing a black suit and Mustang was wearing his black uniform, his fringe slicked back under his uniform hat. Ed felt a kind of happy sadness at seeing that Mustang had his arm around Al and was supporting him. At least he was taking care of his little brother. That was good. They'd keep each other straight.

Mustang looked directly at Ed, but he clearly didn't recognise him. Ed just looked like any other of those people who had wanted to pay their respects, but didn't really feel like they belonged and so they kept some distance from the proceedings.

It still hurt, however, not to be recognised by the man that had come to mean so much to him these last few months. Al was just shaking, overcome by grief and fell to his knees in front of the coffin. Mustang held a hand on Al's shoulder and wiped a tear away from his own cheek.

Then came Winry and Granny. Winry was looking kind of pretty in a black dress that went to her knees. She was sobbing loudly just like Al and she ran forwards and hugged him tightly, making themselves sob even louder.

"Sorry, Winry, I guess I made you cry again," Ed said quietly so that nobody could hear him.

It felt so surreal to be watching this. He was actually watching his own funeral and all these people were here because of him, only to not recognise him anymore. Ed had never thought that things would be this bad. That there would be so many people here.

He felt a tear roll down his right cheek, but that was only to be expected. He was causing all these people so much pain right now. And Al was in so much pain, Ed couldn't even look at him. And Mustang was paler than Ed had ever seen him. The man was fighting so hard not to cry, and even then, tears were rolling down his cheeks.

And people kept coming. Ed recognised most of the inhabitants of Youswell gathering at a far corner, scowling at Yoki who was standing next to Heinkel and Darius. Next to them were Jerso and Zampano, who were soon joined by Scar and Miles.

Then a great troop of Briggs soldiers came marching, led by General Armstrong and Falman. They stood next to Miles, although Falman moved to stand closer to Mustang. He too was crying and saluted the minute he stopped to watch the coffin. Ed was surprised, now there were at least a hundred people here, but they didn't seem to stop coming. Teacher came next, leaning heavily on Sig. Ed was afraid that she was sick again, but then he saw that she was crying, as was Sig. Mason was with them too. They joined Al, Mustang and the Rockbells.

Ed heard loud crying and turned around to see Gracia walking up the stone path with Elicia sobbing loudly. "BIG BROTHER! NO! NOT LIKE DADDY! PLEASE DON'T BURY HIM!"

Ed felt his stomach twist. He hadn't thought that they'd be here. This must be too much like Hughes's funeral.

Mrs. Bradley showed up next, carrying a small child in a bundle of blankets. Ed guessed that had to be Selim. Then came Hawkeye, Fuery, Havoc and Breda. They walked over to Mustang. Ed had never seen them be so subdued. Sheska joined the Briggs soldiers together with Ross and Brosh, while Lieutenant Colonel Armstrong seemed too grief-stricken to even scoop Al into his arms and just stood behind the team, tears gushing down his cheeks.

Ed then watched as Madame Christmas came walking up the path and put a hand on Mustang's shoulder and squeezed it before she went to stand further back. Ed had met her a couple of times while he had been staying with Mustang. The old woman seemed unmoved, but Ed knew that she wouldn't have come if she didn't want to. Ed spotted a few Ishbalans at the back of the crowd too.

A few cries alerted Ed to the fact that Ridel and Satera LeCourt had showed up with their baby boy, and were actually accompanied by Dominic as well as Paninya and Mister Garfiel.

A lot of people from Resembool turned up too to pay their respects.

Then, accompanied by a lot of bodyguards, came Führer Grumman himself. He was looking sombre.

Ed was shocked that all these people had come just to say goodbye to him. Then his eyes fell on Alphonse who was still sobbing loudly. Mustang had taken off his hat and was holding it against his chest, his hand trembling slightly, as was the one resting on Al's shoulder.

Ed felt a lot of tears running down his cheeks which mixed with the rain that had begun pouring down. A see of black umbrellas covered the cemetery. Al and Mustang didn't take one out. Granny opened one to cover herself, Winry and Al, while Mustang just let the rain fall over himself. Ed would have thought that Hawkeye would have offered to cover him with her umbrella, but then Ed understood. Mustang didn't want her to, because this way, no one could see him crying.

Ed felt his whole chest ache horribly. He really wanted to just hug these people, to say that it was all right, that he wasn't dead.

But he couldn't. Because then all these people would be at risk. Ed would have to make this sacrifice in order to keep them safe.

But it still hurt.

Roy kept standing in the cemetery until it became dark. The coffin had been lowered into the ground, and the tombstone in front of him made his heart feel like it had been ripped out of his chest and was slowly being squeezed until it was completely flattened.

There was a mound of flowers in front of him. Mostly there were white roses, but there was a small bouquet of red ones from Roy and Al because of Al's insistence that Ed would be pissed off if he only got white for his funeral.

Pinako and Winry had left, as had Hawkeye and the rest of them, although she had given him her umbrella.

Al was clutching his knees, looking ahead of him at the tombstone, reading it over and over again, tears in his eyes.

None of them wanted to leave.

They had only buried the head. The rest of Ed's body was still missing. Roy doubted that they would ever find it.

It just wasn't fair.

Al seemed to have shut himself down, and Roy knew that he would have to be the responsible adult here. He looked down at Al. "We should go, it's getting dark."

"Mhm."

Al didn't move.

Roy tried to lift him up by his shoulder, but Al just sat there limply. The boy was completely emotionally exhausted. And he was soaked to the skin. Roy really should have taken him back to the hotel much earlier. He sighed and closed the umbrella before he carefully lifted Al up into his arms. The boy didn't say anything. He was shivering though. Roy carried him back to the car and drove back to the hotel. The receptionist nodded knowingly at them and let them pass without a word. He got Al back into their room and carried him into the bathroom, where he placed him on the bathroom floor. "Al, you should take a bath, you need to get some warmth back into your body. I'll place some clean clothes for you outside the bathroom."

"Mhm."

Roy stroked his cheek once and closed the bathroom door.

He went back to the bedroom part of their room and looked through their suitcases. He found clean clothes for himself and Al. Then he drew the curtains and changed out of his soaked suit. He placed it in front of the radiator and then pulled on his grey and green checkered pyjamas bottoms and a white T-shirt. He moved to place the clothes outside the bathroom door when he realised that Al hadn't made a sound since Roy left him five minutes ago. Roy knocked, but when Al didn't answer, he opened the door slowly, only to find Al still sitting on the floor exactly as Roy had left him.

"Alphonse?"

"Mhm."

Roy didn't really know what to say or do. He wasn't practiced in dealing with teenagers and especially teenagers that had been stuck as unfeeling suits of armour and who suddenly lost their brothers. He needed Al to get himself some warmth, but Al didn't seem to want to do anything right now. He wasn't even looking up at Roy. And he clearly didn't respond to being told to do something.

Which meant that Roy would have to force him.

Roy kneeled down in front of him and placed his hands on Al's wet shoulders. "Alphonse, you need to get warm, otherwise you're going to get sick. If you won't move on your own, then I'm going to place you in that bathtub myself."

Al looked up at him slowly. "Please help me. Everything hurts so much," he whispered after a while.

Roy looked into those golden eyes. The boy was in so much pain and was so lost, Roy's insides twisted themselves apart. Roy knew that he wasn't looking at the eyes of a fifteen-year-old, but at the four-year-old boy Al had been when he had just returned from his mother's funeral. But this time the boy didn't have his brother to lean on. He only had Roy. And he was asking for help. He was drowning in his own emotions and was desperately trying one last time to save himself from it. But the loss of both his parents and now Ed, pulled him downwards so heavily that he couldn't make it on his own.

"I'll help you, Al, of course I will."

Roy untied Al's tie and unbuttoned the suit jacket. He then unbuttoned Al's shirt and gently pulled it off his arms one by one. He then removed his shoes and socks. They were full of dirt and water.

Then came the awkward part, but Al didn't seem to be able to or didn't want to move on his own, and so Roy removed the boy's trousers and boxers while making sure to keep his eyes closed to let Alphonse keep some of his dignity. He then lifted the boy inside the tub and made sure that the water was warm enough before he let it fill up around the kid. He used plenty of foam bath because Roy had a feeling that he couldn't leave Al alone right now and didn't want this to be more awkward than it already was. Roy then just sat himself on the floor next to the tub so that he was facing the emotionally broken boy and put a hand on Al's right cheek, gently stroking it with his thumb. Al looked at him again and placed his own hand on top of Roy's, still looking lost. "What do I do? What have I got to live for now?" Al said, nearly inaudible after a few minutes of silence.

"Live for the people who love you, Al," Roy said. "Live for all those people that showed up today. Both of you have made an impression on them. Not just Ed, and they would be so sad if they lost you too." Roy paused for a bit, watching as a tear ran down the boy's cheek. "And live for me."

Another tear made its way down Al's cheek and he slowly leaned forwards until his forehead rested against Roy's chest. "Thank you, Dad. I can't do this on my own."

"Neither can I, Al. Neither can I. So how about we keep each other going?" Roy put his hand at the back of Al's head. He tried to sound strong, but it was so hard right now.

"Yes," came a weak voice.

"Thank you."