He hadn't slept in four days. He knew if he didn't soon he'll fall off the damn horse. He heard her voice shouting in his mind, a distant reminder from the past of what it feels like to fall off your horse. His horse was tired. He was tired. He tied the damn thing up and and tosses some water and food in its general direction. He'd sent a letter to Tyrion but he didn't even know if his brother was still alive to receive it.

He remembered telling Bronn he wanted to die in the arms of the woman he loves, but he no longer knew who that was. If you would have told any version of past Jamie Lannister that he would ever be confused about this he would have laughed in your face, and possibly killed you, but that now seems like a long time ago. The further he'd strayed from her the looser her hold on him had become. At first it had frightened him, created a desperate desire to return to her.

Until Harrenhall, where he'd felt something shift. For a moment he'd thought he'd die in another's arms, right there his face pressed against her pale naked body, and it had somehow seemed alright.

Jamie knew now he'd kill Cersei to protect his wife. He'd kill anyone to protect his wife, but he also knew there was some truth to what he'd said to her. If Cersei could be redeemed, he owed it to her didn't he? To give her the same chance Brienne had given him? Didn't he? And then what?

That was the part he couldn't quite figure out. The part that didn't work. He'd redeem her, then what? Drop her off at Casterly Rock, begging King Jon's mercy and return to his wife?

Or maybe he could take her to Winterfell, get her a nice job in the kitchens? Clearly Sansa would oblige, give her and the baby a nice little chamber near his and Brienne's? She'd turn Winterfell into a home for wayward lions.

He felt like a fool, freezing in the mud waiting for sleep that brought nightmares of his wife and child being killed by his twin in the most methodical and horrible ways. And this time when he woke in terror he couldn't be reassured of her safety by her soft pale body surrounding his.

He touched his hand to Widow Wails hilt when he heard the hoofs approach him. Sansa had promised him safe passage, but the dragons and lions didn't answer to her. He waited, wondering if it was even worth the fight.

"Ser Jamie." Someone said into the darkness. "We are to take you to the Hand of the Queen at once."

"Which Queen?" He rasped, before laughing bitterly. "Which fucking queen?"

…..

"You wanted to see me My Lady."

Sansa blinked, her head tilting to the left as she studied the other woman. She looked as she always had, the only difference was the slight tightness in her forehead, like she had a headache, or was straining to see clearly. Sansa figured it was a bit of both.

"How are you?"

"I'm well." She said automatically, refusing to acknowledge the depth of the question. Sansa waited. "I'm fine."

"I'm sure you are." She told her gently, turning to her desk.

Brienne's face betrayed her for just a moment. She envied Sansa's gentleness, after all she'd be through the somehow managed to be fiercely strong by still remarkably vulnerable. It made Brienne feel both jealous and broken.

When the Lady of Winterfell turned again she clutched a piece of paper tightly in her hand.

"Ser Jamie-." Sansa began.

"Is where he wants to be." Brienne said sharply. "And I am where I want to be." Sansa held her eyes before looking down at her hand and touching the paper almost tenderly.

"He left this with me." The younger woman opened her palm, Brienne remained statue still.

"My Lady.." She didn't know what she meant to say next.

"I swore to him that I would only give it to you if we got word he'd been killed." Sansa noticed the way the other woman's jaw tightened and her breath quickened. "Turns out I'm not as good at keeping my sworn word as you are. Tyrion wrote me to tell me he made it to camp this morning."

Brienne's eyes sunk shut in relief. She'd thought she had come to terms with his imminent death but the second Sansa had spoken the words everything in her had suddenly seemed meaningless. Her Lady reached out her arm and extended the paper to her and she took it.

"I have a new request of you." Sansa was still talking , but Brienne barely heard her, the paper was burning into her fingers and her mouth had gone dry. The sudden fear of losing him made the muscles of her body shake with the effort it took to stand. She wasn't ready. "As you know my husband has loyalties that conflict with his queen." Brienne looked up and watched her swallow hard. "And while he assures me that he is under her protection I feel that there are circumstances that may cause this to change. And not two weeks ago he and Jamie were nearly murdered by a sellsword in my home." Sansa lifted her chin. "I will not stand here in the North and leave him defenseless." Brienne's stoic resolve was cracking and Sansa knew she was walking a fine line.

"I am sworn to protect you-."

"If I recall correctly." Sansa interrupted, her face morphing into the formidable Lady of Winterfell that reminded Brienne of her mother. "You have been sworn to both my mother's daughters, have you not?"

Brienne nodded, her eyes filling with tears.

"Good then." She sighed. "My impulsive baby sister has also left Winterfell for the South and I fear for her safety as well."

Brienne straightened her mouth twitching.

"Your sister is quite capable-."

"Read the letter." Sansa whispered. "Get back to me with your decision afterward." Brienne's fingers gripped the paper as she nodded. "And Sister." She froze, the tears she'd been holding back threatening to spill. "If you need to talk about it." The knight nodded, as the tears slipped over her eyelids and she swiped them angrily away.

…..

"You are the dumbest Lannister." Tyrion had greeted his brother two days before with a sigh. "You look like shit."

"Thanks." Jamie huffed, rubbing his hands on his knees.

"What were you thinking?"

"I don't know." He hung his head.

"Where you going to stop her or save her?"

"I don't know?" He exclaimed again, this time settling his eyes back on the ceiling of the tent.

"Well you should probably figure that out before they start giving out the jobs." Tyrion snorted.

"If I could appeal to her." He whispered.

"I tried." Tyrion told him.

"Well she likes me more than you."

"She left Bronn a detailed description on how she wanted your wife killed while you watched. She's got a bounty on your head for treason. And you come into town with that damn golden bulls eye."

"She'll take me back." Jamie told him firmly. Tyrion looked at him. "Use me. Use me to get to her."

"So you've made your decision?" Jamie didn't say anything. Tyrion watched him swallow hard before looking down at his hands.

"You've been in contact with Sansa?" His older brother glanced at him and he nodded. "Has she said anything about…" His eyes closed again and he bit his lip.

"You are an idiot." Tyrion sighed and Jamie snorted out a pitiful laugh, his eyes filling with tears as he did.

"Guilty as charged."

"I'll ask about your wife the next time I correspond with mine." His younger brother sighed. "I am glad you're here though, our time being in the Dragon Queens good graces is running out."

"Why?"

"Sanasa told Varys about Jon." He rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Is she insane?" Jamie squeaked.

"More likely impatient." Tyrion shook his head.

"She's going to get us all killed!" Jamie swallowed.

"I'm pretty sure that was not her intention, but she does see that as a very real possibility now."

….

Once sealed inside her chamber Brienne closed her eyes tightly and unrolled the note. She moved her hand across the page, it must have taken him hours to write this much this clearly. She wiped her eyes and scanned the page.

I don't expect you to forgive me, but I promise you if I had lived I'd be grovelling at your feet for that forgiveness right now.

Cersei understood our connection before I did, possibly before even you had realized. She used you to get to me and she wouldn't hesitate to use me to get to you.

She'd have killed you. I couldn't let that happen.

I promise you. Even now as I watch you sleep that my last thoughts will have been of you. My last breath I will have closed my eyes and remembered being in your arms. You in sept on our wedding day with the stained glass glowing behind you.

I wanted to fight at your side until my last breath, but I couldn't let you die for this.

Please forgive me. I had to do this on my own. You'll be fine without me I know you will, but I wouldn't have survived a minute without you.

I love you. I'm sorry you never got to hear me say it.

"You stupid man." She whispered to the paper. "You stupid, stupid Man."

Brienne stood slowly and splashed water across her face before taking a deep breath and marching back across the yard.

"Podrick!" She called crisply and he jumped to his feet and followed. She found Sansa where she'd left him. "And who will protect you in my absence my Lady?"

The wardeness of the North slid her eyes to the squire before turning back to her and giving a tight nod. Brienne turned to the young man.

"Podrick. In a few minutes I am going to ask as your last act as my squire that you'll ready my horse, but first I ask if you pledge your allegiance to this house."

He looked at her in confusion.

"Yes My Lady."

"And you would fulfill my oath to Lady Sansa if I were unable?"

"Of course my Lady." Brienne swallowed before swinging her eyes back to Sansa who gave her another tight nod.

"The pledge now please." Brienne's words were curt and urgent. Pod's mouth slipped open."Now please. Your sword."

She stood back as her prodigy laid his sword at Sansa's feet, trying to slow the the adrenaline coursing through her. He was at least a weeks ride, probably more. He could be dead by then. Pod rose and turned to her in confusion once again. She forced herself to smile.

"I know you'll let no harm come to her."

"On my life." He told her quickly and she nodded.

"You'll ready my horse?"

"Where will you be heading Ser?"

"White Harbor." Sansa interjected as both sets of eyes turned to her. "There is a ship waiting for her there." Pod hurried off and Brienne turned to Sansa.

"I meant what I said about my husband. I've grown quite fond of him." She grinned at the other woman. "But your own Lannister is to be your main concern."

Brienne suddenly found herself clutching the girl to her chest her breath uneven and course.

"Fare thee well Sister." Sansa whispered before pulling back and leaving her standing alone in small courtyard.