The gentle breeze blew through Carla's golden locks as she looks out at the sea which was splashing as it collided with eachother. She watched couples walk hand-in-hand through the beach, feet sinking into the sands soft depths. Children were giggling, running around with their bucket and spade and trying to catch the tide. It was a beautiful sight.
She couldn't help but dwell upon what could've been, what she could've had.
A happy marriage with the man she loved, maybe a couple of kids by now. All she ever wanted in her life was to be loved and to love; it seemed so easy yet it was a challenge. Either she got betrayed or pressed her self destruct button.
Would this of happened if she lived her life differently? Not necking down tons of booze at the first sign of a problem or over-working herself at the factory day and night and maybe even admitting to when she had a problem, opening up. All these little things were eating away at her and she cursed herself for not looking after herself in the way she should've been.
Because now she was left paying the price.
She refused to believe it; it couldn't be true. Their was so much more she had to do, she was still young.
She was walking back from the hospital when she stopped at the beach and sat down on a bench nearby the entrance, she was in perfect view of her summery surroundings. It wasn't the summer though, it was the start of September but the it was stunning. Everything looked so peaceful and bright, if only she felt the same.
It was nearing the early hours of the evening now; most people were packing their things up from the beach to leave but Carla wasn't ready to go back home yet.
Her breathing was shallow, was it the fact she was still in shock or her body slowly dying right before her eyes?
She closed her eyes and released a deep breath, fighting back tears that were threatening to overwhelm her.
Should she call her family?
No, she could not deal with the sympathy. The way they'd patronise her and turn up to Devon. But more importantly, she couldn't be a burden.
Finally standing, she slowly made her way to her cottage. It wasn't far from the beach so she didn't over-exhaust herself.
It was a beautiful home, not very Carla though. It was more of a cosier setting than she was used to. Walking in, you were faced with the staircase which had photo frames going up the stairs of her and Michelle and various other relatives. On the left was the living room, a cream sofa with a grey fluffy throw over it and a warm fire in front of the coffee table. Her feet padded along the laminate where she ended up in the kitchen. It had a desirous island in the middle of the room which had light marble surfaces.
She loved her home, the only issue was how lonely she got. Day in, day out, she would sit by the fire and sip at wine whilst watching some annoying American show. Occasionally, Michelle would Skype her and update her about all that was going on in the street however it hadn't happened for a while. This wasn't how it was meant to be and as reality had given her a smack in the face, she wasn't sure she'd have time to change it anytime soon.
making her way upstairs, she had to stop as she reached her bedroom as suddenly coloured dots flooded her vision. One hand went against the wall and she closed her eyes, taking a series of deep breaths before opening her eyes again and re-adjusting her vision.
She'd changed into comfy clothes and was now slouching on her sofa, making her way through multiple crisp packets. Carla knew the breakup from Nick had changed something about her. Not necessarily losing him but the fact that just as she went through that heartbreak, she moved away to the other side of the country and was now extremely lonely. It all happened to soon and it had really affected her mental health.
Some reality show was on tv and she repeatedly rolled her eyes at this one boyfriend who'd cheated on his girlfriend. She thought back to 2014 when she felt the worst stab in the heart when Peter had cheated on her with Tina. It physically broke her and she could never see herself be happy again, let alone long for the man that hurt her so badly. But as she sat alone in her house, miles away from everyone she loved, she couldn't help but miss him. Every single thing about him.
But times had moved on. Michelle had informed her that he'd moved back onto the street and was now in a relationship with Toyah Battersby...Toyah flamin' Battersby! He could do better, she thought.
Why was she so bitter about it? They were dead in the water and she may not even be around by the end of the year, she needed to get a grip.
She made sure all the plugs were off downstairs, as she went to turn the living room light off, she suddenly remembered...
She needed to take her medication.
Exhaling in frustration, she made her way to the kitchen and swallowed the multiple pills she couldn't live without. It felt like her body was some kind of ticket machine at an arcade, she had to constantly consume these things to keep her going. It made her nauseous and so fatigued but it was the only way through.
Once she'd consumed her medicine, she lay in bed and stare at the ceiling with even more thought. What had her life come to?
This was the start of something terrible...but also the end.
The end of Carla Connor.