I own nothing that you recognize from the hobbit/lotr books
Chapter Two: I'm going on an Adventure!
"Common"
"Sindarin"
"Khuzdul"
"Black Speech"
As it turns out, Bilbo was not that hard to find. As soon as they stepped out of the smial, Fili and Kili were met with a haunting melody. Shrugging at each other, they followed the music to the base of a tree. Looking up, they saw Bilbo sitting on a branch about half way up, leaning against the trunk playing a fiddle. Before either brother could do anything, the hobbit closed his eyes and began to sing.
"Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way
Through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven.
Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.
Beyond the door,
There's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven." Both Fili and Kili realized that they had been holding their breaths while they listened to the mournful song that came down from the branches. Fili discreetly wiped at his eyes before calling up the tree.
"Master Baggins?"
"Bilbo, please. Master Baggins makes me feel old." Kili smiled.
"Then call us Fili and Kili. Are you alright, Bilbo?" He sighed.
"I'll live, if that's what you mean. Your uncle just brought up some memories I'd rather not remember." The hobbit swung down from the tree landing in front of the princes. "What can I help you with?"
"Nothing. We were just looking for you."
"You didn't have to do that, I would've been fine. But since you're here, pray tell me how your uncle feels about pranks." Kili shook his head.
"He's none too fond of them. He used to be a huge prankster before Smaug came, but now he's all serious and always frowning." Bilbo smirked.
"Well, then I think that it's time he lightens up. Wanna help?" Fili and Kili shared identical looks of shock before turning back to their host with mile wide smiles on their faces.
"We would love to!" Wrapping his fiddle case around his back, Bilbo threw his arms around the young dwarfs shoulders.
"Boys, I think that this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." Neither prince commented on how the hobbits smile didn't quite reach his eyes. They were too relieved that he wasn't mad at them to realize that maybe their burglar was more broken than he let on.
Thorin may have went to bed with troubled thoughts, but he was sure that he had gone to sleep in a bed and not outside. Opening his eyes, he lay shocked when he realized that he was lying on the grass on top of the hobbits house completely starkers! Said hobbit was sitting on the bench in front of his house smoking a pipe. The king could just see the sun jutting over the horizon.
"Well, good morning Thorin Oakenshield. I guess you could call us even now. I would be more careful of what you say next time for my retaliation will be much more embarrassing than this. Breakfast will be served outside in 15 minutes, so unless you want them to see you like this, I would suggest sneaking inside while I wake the others." Thorin stared after the hobbit as he walked into the house. Mahal, this man would be the death of him.
Bilbo just closed the door before collapsing on the floor in a fit of laughter. Fili and Kili sat at the table, mirth sparkling in their eyes.
"What did he say?" "What did his face look like?" "Does he know that we were a part of it?"
"Nothing, gobsmacked and no." Bilbo replied, wiping tears from his eyes. "Now if you would be so kind as to wake the others while I finish packing my bag?" The boys ran off down the hall, going into bedrooms and pulling grumpy dwarves from their warm beds. Once Bilbo had placed breakfast on the table, he walked into his room and began packing clothes along with several of his parents things into his mother's old traveling bag that would hang around his shoulders. He managed to fit several outfits, cloaks and blankets into the clothes department. Grabbing his fiddle on his way out, he stopped by his weapons room.
Deciding what to bring from there was not a very hard task. Most of his knives could fit into his belt, side of his bag and several hidden pockets sewn into his clothes. The bow and arrows were the next easiest thing, given the fact that the bows were able to fold into themselves several times until they were only a several inches long, and the quivers were able to loop together to save space. Still he had two bows and 6 quivers left that he thought might interest Kili. The swords were next, sadly he was only able to bring four, two strapped to his hips, two more crossed his back underneath his bow. Two small axes laid under his swords, only to be used when the others were not available. Sliding a few weapons of his own making into his belt, Bilbo gathered up the rest of his stock, bringing them into the now spotless dining room. Shaking his head at how oddly considerate (most) dwarves seemed to be, he laid the left over weapons on the table, picking out some of the smaller swords and placing them on a chair, and called in his guests. Bilbo couldn't help but chuckle at the king, who seemed to be trying to avoid his eyes, a deep blush visible even under his beard.
"These are the weapons that I could not fit on my person. You are more than welcome to carry them on yours. If anyone needs me or has any questions, I will be saddling my horse and packing the rest of my bags." He started to leave the room before turning back. "Since I will not be back here for some time, don't feel bad about clearing out any food that I have left for our journey."
"You managed fit the majority of those weapons on you but only have 7 visible?! How is that possible?" This hobbit just seemed to keep confusing Dwalin. Balin was worried about his brother's heart pressure.
"Where's the fun in telling you? Now, if you'll excuse me," nodding his head at his guests, Bilbo walked out of the room whistling.
It's no wonder Thorin never stood a chance.
An hour later, the group was leaving Bag End. Thorin watched as their burglar locked his house, his hand resting against the wood, the other playing with a gold chain around his neck. Sighing, Bilbo turned away and jumped onto his midnight black, so dark almost blue, horse, Kex, setting the pace for the rest of them. As soon as they reached the town, they were surrounded by a large group of children. Nobody noticed the way Dwalin flinched and laid a hand on his axe except Balin.
Laughing, Bilbo allowed them to pull his off of his horse and stumbled back when several of the younger ones jumped into his arms.
"Woah, guys. I promise that I will come back, okay?" Inside, Bilbo winced. He shouldn't make such a promise, but he would do his best to keep it.
"Do you have to leave, Bilbo?"
"Yeah, can't you stay?"
"I'm sorry guys. I have to go, I signed a contract and I always honor my word. Besides, when will I ever get a chance to go on an adventure this amazing?" The fauntling looked up at him with big eyes full of tears.
"You'll be like the hobbit in your stories!" Bilbo chuckled.
"Why, yes I suppose I will be. Now have any if you seen Marco, Samville, and Drogo?" Two lasses nodded and ran off, returning a few minutes later with 3 older boys. Bilbo gently pulled off the small bodies that were attached to him, setting them onto their feet. Returning to his horse, the older hobbit pulled off a tightly wrapped bundle.
"As we all know, you three will be turning 33 in just a few months. I am saddened to say that I do not know if I will be able to make your party. But ever since you begged me to make you a sword all those years ago, I've been waiting to give you these." Unwrapping the bundle, the dwarfs who could see the gift gasped while the others looked on confused. Bilbo handed each almost adult a gleaming sword. The carvings were amazing, Drogo's having a magnificent dragon starting at the hilt of his sword and curving to the tip of the blade. Marco's was covered in eagles, while Samville's was covered in leaves that wrapped around the blade like vines. After sliding their swords into scabbards on their hips, the three boys launched themselves at Bilbo, all of them wrapping their arms around his neck. Holding them for a few seconds, Bilbo could imagine that he was a faunt again, seeing his cousins for the first time. But then the illusion was broken by a cough coming from the dwarves. Pulling back, the older hobbit bumped his forehead against there's, a habit he had picked up from his mother all those years ago. He smiled down at them.
"Now, I need you guys to hold down the fort for me, okay?" At their nods he gave them one last hug before pushing them gently away from them. "Make sure everyone continues their training like we were doing it before - no real swords, only wooden until I return. Don't let Bramble beat you all the time and watch the little ones, don't let them slack off. I will be back, and then it will be like I never left, you'll see. Until then, I have hidden several large storybooks in my backyard. Find them and you'll see that they are full of new tales, ones that should last you until I get back and can make up more." That sent the little ones off, running down the lane, the teens following at a more sedate pace, all of them throwing cries of 'be safe' and to 'hurry back' over their shoulders. Bilbo watched them go with a smile on his face before jumping back onto his horse and they all once again began riding.
Thorin found himself at the front of the group with the hobbit, and, much to Bilbo's disappointment, he seemed to have gotten over his embarrassment.
"That was a rather odd exchange, very dwarvish." He remarked.
"Yes, well, those three have been bugging me for swords every since they could walk. They always were fascinated by my weapons. What else was so very dwarf about it?"
"The way you touched your head to theirs." Kili piped up from Bilbo's left. "It's how dwarves greet those they consider close kin."
"You did it with those other kids," Fili remembered. "The ones that led us to your house."
"I guess I did. My mother always used to do it." Gandalf appeared on Thorin's right.
"It is quite possible that dear Belladonna did pick that up from dwarves. She was quite the adventurer." Fili and Kili's eyes sparkled.
"Tell us about your family, Bilbo." He chuckled.
"There isn't really much to the Baggins side. It's a great group of people and I love most of them dearly, but they never really do anything. The most dangerous thing that happened to them was my Da marrying Ma. The Tooks, on the other hand, couldn't be more different." He bowed his head. "We are the adventurers of the Shire, and the ones who make up most of the bounders. All hobbit children are wild, but Tooks never seem to grow up. My mother used to be the most well traveled of hobbits, reaching Rivendell, but I think I have her beat by a good couple miles." Gandalf chuckled.
"I always have enjoyed the Company of Tooks, most entertaining of people. Bullroarer Took, wasn't he a sight to behold." Bilbo waved his finger at the wizard.
"Oh, no you don't. You're not going to tell them that story!"
"I most certainly will. Last night Fili and Kili told you stories, now I believe that we must return the favor. Bullroarer Took was so large that he could ride a horse! In the Battle of Green Fields, he charged the goblin ranks. He swung his club so hard it knocked the Goblin King's head clean off, and it sailed a hundred yards through the air and went down a rabbit hole. And thus the battle was won, and the game of golf invented at the same time."
"You always were one to exaggerate, Gandalf. It was not a club that killed the Goblin king, it was a sword, forged by Bullroarer himself. And the whole reason he went charging into the ranks in the first place was because the best friend, a Gamgee, had slapped his horses behind on the basis of a bet that despite of their size, they would startle just as easily as a pony." The wizard looked down at the hobbit.
"Why was I never told this? It seems much more entertaining!" The younger man chuckled, but the wizard could see the hint of fear in his eyes; he had let something slip.
"Well, us hobbits do have to keep some things within our race. Whether it be our history or our language, we keep secrets just as much as the next man." Gandalf hadn't known about a secret language, how had they manage to keep even knowledge of its existence secret from him with all the time that he spent in the Shire? The Company was trying their hardest to not laugh at the two men's exchanges, but it was a losing battle and when Ori, Fili, and Kili started laughing, it set the rest of them off. Smirking at each other, Bilbo and Gandalf regaled the group with stories of Bilbo's family history, constantly interrupting each other, and 'arguing'. That night, as Bilbo sat by the fire whittling, Ori game up to him and asked such an innocent question that it brought tears to his eyes.
"Bilbo, what were your parents like?" Taking a deep breath, he patted the spot on the log next to him. Ori, Fili, and Kili gathered around, and not one of the four noticed that the others were listening to the tale.
"My parents were great people. For all they loved each other, there couldn't be a pair of more different hobbits. My ma, Belladonna, was a Took, a born adventurer. She's the one that started my training with weapons. I still think that she was better at them than I could ever hope to be. My da, Bungo, on the other hand, would rather stay home and read books by the fire. He always could tell the most amazing stories, a skill I am glad to have inherited from him; it makes dealing with the fauntlings so much easier. They were unlikely duo, that many, including the Thain, my grandfather thought wouldn't last past summer. To prove him wrong, Da built Ma Bag End. It took him 5 years to make but he finally got the permission to marry my mother. They were happy in marriage and the ordinary day-to-day life, but they quarreled constantly. The biggest argument they had, or so I've been told, was about me. My mother wanted me to have both of their last names, while Da just wanted me to be a Baggins. I'm told that I was nameless for weeks before my dad finally gave in. Ma won most arguments, but da got a fair share of wins, too. I think that I had a pretty good life.
"But then the Fell Winter came." Bilbo shuddered out a breath. The young dwarfs, sensing something bad was going to happen, instinctively leaned into the hobbit, who put his arms around them. "At first, it hadn't seemed bad. Ma found out that she was with child. The look on my Da's face when she told him was priceless. They were having twins, which are rare in itself in the Shire. Things seemed good, until they weren't. One morning we awoke to find that the Brandybuck river had completely frozen over. The slightly heavy snow turned to full blown blizzards, many died of hypothermia, and then the howls started. At first they were only at night, but later we would be lucky to go two hours without hearing them. Food was scarce nowadays and Ma decided that we would have to go and stay with my cousins until the winter passed. The occupants of Hobbiton gathered with us and we started the week long trip to grandfather's house. We never made it; we were ambushed, by orcs and wargs, with only one thought in their heads: kill.
"Ma and I were able to get the children out, we hid them in a cave, lit a fire, and barricaded the entrance. She wanted me to stay with them and guard but I didn't listen to her. Once she had ran off, I doubled back, and was met with a massacre. Tens of hundreds of hobbits laid on the now red snow, the only ones still standing were my mother, father, and some of the farmers. I didn't hesitate jumping into the battle, going wherever someone needed help, constantly moving. I stayed with Ma the most, taking blows that would've killed her but only scratched me. I remember a scream, turning around, and seeing a white warg tackling my da, instantly killing him. I saw an equally white orc behind it, staring over at the carnage as if pleased. My ma charged him, and got slashed across the chest. By that time I had killed the other orcs, and turned toward the last one. I remember wanting nothing more than to run to my mother but knew that he would kill me in an instant if I did. So I attacked. He would yell insults at me in black speech, some so foul that I wouldn't dare repeat even now. I had managed to land several blows but so had he; we were both really bloody. I slipped in the snow and my sword flew out of my hands. The orc had stood over me and smiled. Smiled! I'd never wanted to kill someone more than I had then. But before I could do anything, he lifted the sword that served as his left arm, and slashed it across my chest, giving me this scar. I remember pain, then darkness, then nothing. A week later I woke up in a hospital. A ranger had found the children, who led him to me and brought me to my grandfather. But my parents were dead. My younger siblings, dead. I had wanted to die, too. But then I realized that they wouldn't want me to become a hermit. They would want me to live." By the end of Bilbo's tale, the camp was completely silent. Thorin seemed to be shaking with rage.
"This Orc? Was his left arm missing?" At Bilbo's nod he stalked off away from the group as a loud piercing howl broke the silence.
"What did I do?" Balin sighed.
"It seems that you and Thorin seem to have more reason than most to hate orcs." Bilbo listened as the grandfatherly old dwarf spinned a tale of death and triumph, mindful to keep his voice lowered for it seems that Fili, Kili, and Ori had fallen asleep against the hobbit. That night, as Bilbo struggled to find a comfortable position that wouldn't wake the dwarves sleeping on him, thousands of things raced through his head.
Maybe, he thought, that he had judged Thorin Oakenshield too fast as well.