Innamorato
By Cherilyn Ohlau
Invader Zim (2001-2006) is owned by Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon
Mephistopheles
Truly for a doctor that is a frivolous question.
I am the Spirit of Life, and it is I that console.
I will give you everything, happiness, pleasure,
All that the most ardent desire can dream of.
Faust
Very well, pour demon, show me your wonders.
Mephistopheles
Indeed! I shall enchant your eyes and your ears.
Instead of shutting yourself away, sad as the worm
That gnaws your books,
Come, follow me to a new place.
La Damnation de Faust Libretto, Hector Berlioz (1803–1869)
"When he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun."
― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
Chapter One
They were attending the same Magnet School much to Dib's irritation, he felt bewildered the alien even managed to punch through the school's firewall to even get signed in. Zim might have gone through a bit of a growth spurt as much as he did as well, but Dib was still a head taller, but mostly due to his hair and forehead possibly fused together with maturity; it was like someone put Dib into one of those strengths measure games at the carnival and was hit as far as it can go. Dib felt a bit happy about the growth spurt, but he felt annoyed when finding out it was a common average height for an 18 year old...either way, Zim was grinding his teeth about it.
The only thing that got on his nerves was that Zim was in a different classroom, due to his erratic and impulsive behavior that lead to a fire coming from his assigned desk lead to the alien being almost kicked into Dib's classroom. Mrs. Calloway was far from Mizz Bitters, but she was strict and any distractions were met with a whip from her ruler to a student's wrist as if it was a mere roach. Dib was sure Zim wouldn't last through it. Calloway snatched cell phones with ease, she was a classroom viper with the swiftness of a cobra.
Zim still had a habit of writing plans underneath his notes when her head was turned, like before, Dib was across from Zim; he eyed him intently, and waved his hand alerting Calloway that Zim wasn't paying attention. Zim slammed his fist in frustration as Calloway walked over, snatching the paper underneath and hiding his urge to squirm, only to retaliate with a pathetic, "That's mine!" Calloway startled Dib when Zim was slapped in the cheek with a twisting sound of a rubber band striking flesh like a whip. Dib felt a small ache of guilt and turned his head away as Zim glared at him angrily.
"Zim...we talked about this…" She scolded.
Zim looked like he swallowed whatever sense of humiliation that clogged him up. He slammed against the desk, "You don't control me-! I AM-!" another slap, this time causing a yelp, "Oww…"
"Damn it…" Dib mumbled. He didn't want to defend Zim, and he knew Zim's ego would have him scorched by the time the bell rang. He looked at the board and spouted, "Um, Mrs. Calloway, can you repeat what you said about Michelangelo Rossi?"
Mrs. Calloway looked surprised, "Ah, of course," she said, "Now Zim...no more trouble making…" she brought back to her attention to the board, discussing Roman Opera and Dib let out a sigh of relief. Zim was quiet, despite being apart, Dib could almost feel his rage bubbling. Zim was never the type to forgive humans, those like Calloway were obstacles.
Zim would usually be particularly loud during lunch, it was a given since most school lunches looked to be science experiments or hardly edible despite the constant hammering of "it's nutritious!" but now he was quiet. He was almost seething in his corner of the cafeteria, no doubt thinking of a plan to steal his teachers organs or feeding her to a monster in his lab. Dib held back the urge to make fun of him, after the scene from class, Dib's consciousness was overriding his usual habit. Dib stood to the side of Zim, who gave a suspicious side glance.
"Class...pretty much sucked, huh?" Dib said, Zim scoffed.
"I don't need your pity, you filthy monkey!" Zim spat, "You're the last person I want to have pity from! It was you who locked me in a corner with that hideous human banshee!" Dib didn't argue, he did have a point that if Dib was quiet, this would've never happened, "You trying to show me pity because of your little interference makes me angry! I AM ZIM! YOU ARE NOTHING! UTTERLY NOTHING BUT A-"
"A dirty worm, earth monkey, yada, yada, yada…" Dib had to admit, after six years, this routine was getting...almost stale. Zim smirked mischievously, making a leg from his PAK get behind Dib's leg, swiping it quickly so the young man tripped and had his food tray fell on his head.
Zim burst into laughter, "See, now we're even! Know your place, you're below me! You always will!"
"Oh, you little…!" Dib growled, "This is the thanks I get?!"
Zim laughed more, he was relishing in the face Dib had made, it was palpable, "Thanks?! You were expecting thanks from me?! That's a good one, Dib!" Dib's face must've looked like a vivid red, because the cafeteria was slowly looking over to see what the ruckus was in the quiet corner; embarrassment washed over Dib as he could not find a way to curve his anger mixing with regret. He hastily left to the boys bathroom with the sensation of the rug pulling under him. Oh, if Zim had followed him here, he was going to throw him in the toilet.
Dib felt frustrated on his bike from school to home. He chalked the rage to adolescent sensations; sure, he held grudges against Zim, hardly forgiving him when they both turned into bologna, but he felt hot from embarrassment. It felt like hot rage, but he just could not easily find a way to vent with it. He parked his bike in the garage before heading upstairs, allowing his head to rest against his pillow before screaming into it. Gaz peeked in, "You're still doing that?" she said.
"Leafth me aloneth, Gazth…" Dib mumbled, not caring how immature he looked.
"I thought you grew out of pillow screaming?" Gaz asked with slight irritation.
Dib raised his head, looking at her, "I just...had a frustrating day, that's all. Do I sound livid?"
"You sound stupid like you usually do, but, you look livid too. What's wrong? Did Zim eat your homework?"
"Zim didn't eat my homework!" Dib sighed, "But I much prefer that over what had happened; I admit I was the cause but...I never knew he was that ungrateful on that level." Gaz raised an eyebrow.
"Ungrateful?" Gaz repeated, making sure she heard right.
"I sorta...got him in trouble with our teacher...Calloway, and-"
"Calloway?! Dib, did you ever check her background?!" Gaz exclaimed, "She's not even supposed to be on the roster. She's got her hands scalded more than once because of her behavior."
"You know her?"
"Kinda...she was eventually fired and allegedly kicked out."
Dib sighed, checking teacher backgrounds were becoming less a thing due to budget cuts and teacher shortages; anyone who was taught teaching could slip through cracks and weasel in, a class was treated more than just a class, it was a prison, or Dib felt it was more like a tiny country with a ruler with an iron fist whipping them…
Dib yelped when Gaz flicked his forehead.
"Besides all that," she continued, "What happened?"
"She slapped Zim with a ruler, and I had to distract her!"
Gaz's face twisted at the mention ruler slapping. Dib noticed.
"Did she...do anything to you too?"
"It was long ago, I don't want to talk about it…" she replied, taking out a Game Slave 3D, "I know we go to different schools now, just don't anything rash and stupid, but knowing you, you will do something rash and stupid...so, just be careful…" Dib watched Gaz leave to her bedroom. He sat back on his bed, holding his pillow and looking at the ceiling.
"Ugh, my chest and body feels funny. Guilt sucks, but I never thought I'd feel guilty about Zim being hit by the teacher...but he's so ungrateful!" Dib yelled in frustration, tossing the pillow aside, "Dammit, I...I'm talking to myself again!"
The Tallest were a little shocked and surprised to see Zim be around 5'2'', he had been growing inch by inch every year, although he was still short, he wasn't exactly a pipsqueak either. That didn't stop them from remembering that regardless of height growth, Zim was still defective, and he was still chaotic. "So I found out sometimes these awful hyooman teachers can be just as cruel and strict as the strictest Irken War General!" Zim vented, he could be almost puffing with steam as he paced back and forth, "I thought their school system and government was supposed to NOT these awful animals through!" he barked.
Tallest Red and Tallest Purple exchanged glances. "Uhh…" Purple started, pointing to his cheek, "Is that the reason why your cheek is so red...and swollen!" Zim's eyes widened, he didn't check himself in the mirror yet, gently touching the place his leader was gesturing caused a stinging pain to explode after a feel. Zim flinched. Red looked impressed.
"Wooow," Red crooned, "Never thought I'd see the day, the great and powerful Zim get whipped by the cheek."
Zim wanted to scream at Red for rubbing it in, his ego even being slightly bruised made him feel so small and vulnerable, but Red was still his superior. Zim adored them from head to heels, but right now, he felt like curling into a ball and disappearing. He held his head, his antenna twitching. He must have looked like a dog trying to hide its tail between it's legs, "I...I'm fine!" he yelled, "The great and powerful Zim is FINE! No filthy ruler welding earth hag will make me bow down to her! While that Dib-stink thinks he was SAVING me from that horrible teacher!"
Purple blinked as Red waves his claws, suppressing giggles, moving his head away from the camera to hide his small laugh fit.
"Isn't that Dib human like...your arch nemesis or something? This is like the umpteenth call you had about him!" Purple looked annoyed and looked at Red who was still suppressing the urge to laugh, "Red! Get over here! I'm no good with these things! This is awkward!"
Zim became flustered, "I don't talk about the Dib THAT much!"
Red almost instantly went from giggling to glaring. He returned to the screen as Purple fled to grab a snack, to dodge the conversation all together. "Yes you do, Zim, in fact...we have logs of it; many, MANY logs that feature you yapping about Dib! Okay, yeah, there are some logs about missions, but our log drones like to keep things...organized, ya see. So, let me put it this way, think of a...pie chart, out of a hundred, how many out of those hundreds you think is you talking about your mission?"
"Uh...80/100?" Zim replied sheepishly.
"Try 20/100," Red gestured to the chart appearing on the screen after a push of a button, "See that other pie chart thingy? That's the 80%, you talk way more about that sniveling human than you think."
"B-but...but...that HAS to be a mistake!"
"Are you seriously calling me, your Tallest, a liar?!" Red snapped.
"N...no, of course not!" Zim stammered, starting to sweat.
Red paused briefly, observing him, "You know...you have 'grown' but it's nothing special," he said, "I get the feeling this little growth spurt has gone to your head, Zim. You know I still remember when we met while we were just adolescent invaders. You said things would change if you were Tallest…"
"But my Tallest! I was mainly young and filled with juicy eagerness back then! I would kneel my head and knee for my leaders! I'm sure other weaker smeets had such naive dreams back then!" Zim explained. Red's mouth curled slightly.
"You talk like that again…" Red started but he stopped, "Just don't brazenly speak to me or Tallest Purple like that."
"A thousand apologies my lords! Zim meant no-!"
"HEY! RED! I just got Crispy Creamz teleported from Foodcourtia!" Purple chimed in happily.
"Welp...I'm hanging up now, goodbye Zim."
The monitor clicked off leaving Zim in darkness before the lights turned on. Zim felt so strange after his leaders remarks, it was true he had grown somewhat taller but...on the other hand he was a bit proud, yet the other part swirled negative feelings. He hated how he was even doubting his leaders. Zim stomped his foot on the floor wincing, the aging, the growth. Time was a cruel mistress with no mercy. He partially blamed his body growing on vitamins and supplements suggested by the human doctor, and Gir encouraging to take them, sometimes normal human nutrient supplements for body function and organ functions worked differently with Irken anatomy. Zim had read some humans lacked common vitamins or brain chemicals, although he didn't completely understand it; an Irken doctor would have a better understanding, but Zim understood the gist of it.
Irken smeets were born with different biology, each getting spat out into a pod that rolls into a frequent dice like system, every Irken was different due to that, although the system wasn't without flaws. Urrgaf was the first Invader to be insufficient due to being easily sick because he lacked ZZ77 in his bloodstream and the immune booster XXImm5; but that was Zim's basic knowledge of biology at a medical level. He was bred for war, not the hospital.
Zim rubbed his forehead, he was dwelling about this, although he hated the polluted smog from outside. He needed to clear his head, and punch Dib later.
Dib placed his homework aside, he proofread it enough and his wrists were aching from all the writing and erasing. He stretched in his chair noticing the silence as the only other noise that came was from Gaz's bedroom was the muffled blaring of Death Metal behind the door. Dib felt...bored. He was mostly a straight A student, aside from PE that gave him a flat C-, but even though he was a fairly good student; this didn't feel like him. Education was part of his life, but it was nothing compared to his real passion. Dib was about to leave out the front door only to hear the swift knocking from outside. Damn it, if it was another Bible peddler, he was getting the big lock. Dib opened the door and was punched in the face, his glasses didn't break, but he could taste blood from his nose. He coughed, trying to regain composure.
"That's for humiliating me in class, Dib monkey!" Zim spat in a bitter rage. Dib fixed his glasses, cleaning his nose with his sleeve.
"Okay...I kinda admit, I deserved that."
"Zim shall serve you another, you little-!" Zim looked ready to give another swing but Dib shielded himself.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Dib yelled, "Time out! Ow! I said time out, Zim! Cool it!"
Zim was panting, but he was able to allow the flaring heat of a furor to temporarily subside, "Weird, I thought you liked fighting me…" he teased. Dib wasn't that surprised to see Zim as an uninvited house guest, Zim came of his own accord, dragging him into whatever insanity was created by the alien's chaotic nature. They weren't chummy in the slightest, but Zim gave so much house visits, Professor Membrane called him Dib's friend.
"Okay, look...I'm sorry, I went too far even for my standards. You might be scum but no one deserves such abuse, even by a school teacher," Dib apologized, "How's...how's the cheek?"
Zim's pride bristled at the mention of his cheek. He didn't want to say a thing about it because it reminded him that someone from earth, a teacher no less, deliberately made him flee with his tail between his legs. "Stinging," he replied, "Swollen, and sore, not like you care. You wanted to pay back at me somehow?"
Dib fell silent.
"It's what you wanted all along, you selfish dirty monkey!"
Dib flinched, "I did! But I didn't want it like this! I'm eighteen now, Zim! Six years have passed and...and a lot has happened, too fast, too quickly. When humans age they...think a lot; I admit I did want your ego to be knocked down a peg but…" he trailed off. Zim rose an eyebrow, waiting for Dib to finish whatever train of thought, but the silence was now making him irate. Zim shoved Dib, causing him to land on the floor. Zim knelt over and pulled Dib's sticking head of hair, gripping it tightly. Dib let out a small whimper of pain before glaring up at Zim, height made no difference if they were in such a painful position and Dib was unarmed; if Dib wanted to retaliate, he would have to handle those spider legs from Zim's PAK by hand.
"If you wanted me to be knocked down a few pegs, making you think you dominated me, or you won this battle; then you're sorely mistaken. I'll knock you more pegs down than me!" Zim gloated.
Dib swallowed, regretting his words, "What exactly do you plan on doing with me? Gaz is upstairs, she'll hear you."
Zim laughed, "With human music that loud?"
He pursed his lips, "She'll come down eventually," he replied, "Hey, wait a minute! You still didn't answer my question! What are you going to do to me?! Kill me, right here and now?! Torture me with an alien...torture device thing?! Huh?" Oh my Tallest, he's still a blabber mouth even after six years! Zim thought, wanting to shove a sock into his mouth at this rate.
"I remember hearing human teenager's value their dignity," Zim answered. Dib looked unimpressed.
"I think my dignity went out the window a few times, years ago."
Zim paused, remembering something, stroking his chin, "Say, Dib," he spat, "You never got a first kiss did you?!" he teased.
"Are we seriously going to discuss that?!" Dib's face must've been blatant, the embarrassment and the way human cheeks reddened was extremely entertaining. Ah, yes, that's the human dignity he was looking for. Humans valued first kisses as a rite of passage as young adults, if they wore an emotional crux, this was it, "Seriously?!" Zim rolled his eyes.
"You're not that hard to read, Dib worm. I see the faces you make when school couples kiss…"
"Oh, just because you know by now I'm emotionally insecure, you think you have an ace up your sleeve. How original," Dib replied, dully, "So what?"
Zim harshly held his cheek, "Would it matter if I stole it first?"
Dib now started panicking, such a rite was considered special among most students in this kingdom of cliques and cultures, since Dib was considered the bottom of the food chain; Dib felt like losing his first kiss to his enemy was beyond embarrassingly humiliating. What if the others caught on?! Teenagers ran a cruel little kingdom, gossip was plague that ordered distance, so says the jester wrapped in trophies and diplomas. "Y-y-you can't...I mean...come on, I apologized right?" Dib squirmed, his cheeks almost as red as apples.
"I don't plan on forgiving you till we're on equal levels!"
Yeah, Dib figured as much. Dib thought quickly, although his mind was racing, "It...it won't matter because we're not a couple!" he protested.
"Couple, schmouple," Zim scoffed, "Zim could care less about that horrible teen mouth diarrhea called gossip. What matters to me is making you suffer!" Dib closed his eyes, turning his head away, but Zim forcefully moved his head and brought his lips to his. Dib felt his legs twist, attempting to kick Zim away, but the moment he slithered his tongue in, Dib felt his legs grow weak and buckle and a moan escaped his lips. Dib's brain felt like fireworks were popping. Zim was doing more than kissing, he was doing this to observe, and humiliate. Dib croaked as his hormones were screaming madly.
"Zim...ah…" Dib whimpered, his pants had grown tight.
Zim was surprised to see Dib melt like jelly, human hormones at this age was particularly sensitive. Dib recently had his maturity blooming, so it didn't take much to have Dib gasp and beg. "You're enjoying it…" Zim mocked.
"Am...not...ohh…" Dib tried to fight back, "I will...n-never bow down...you…" he wheezed.
"What's your body doing now?"
"It's just...stimulation."
"Just stimulation?" Zim echoed. Dib's lips curled in mortification. He knew Zim was enjoying this, Zim was getting into it, if only to see what else sounds Dib could make. Zim forced him down and leaned onto him so his shadow was towering him, "Where else can I stimulate you?"
Dib's body felt entirely crimson and he shoved Zim off and shuffled back, "No, no! You took my first kiss!" he yelled, "Isn't that enough?" he was a stuttering mess and catching his breath, "I'm not doing any more for you because...because humans only share...their bodies when they're...you know, having consented a partner! I do not consent to this! It's...it feels so wrong this way," he glared, "I'm humiliated enough. Get out!"
"Are you really ordering the Almighty Zim?!" Zim yelled. Dib found an umbrella on the floor and struck his head with it, "GAH!"
"This isn't even your house to begin with!" Dib yelled back, "Get out, and leave me alone! Out!" Dib gave one good swing and Zim was forced outside. He locked the door and leaned against it, "Why the utter fuck did I help that jerk in the first place?!" Gaz came downstairs and looked at him in confusion, but Dib rushed up to his bedroom before she could even ask.
Dib hid his face with his Spanish book as their World Language teacher wrote on the board about the many examples Spanish poetry had a special flow compared to English. It was a much more artistic lecture expected from Calloway; Zim was still struggling with this subject mostly because he had to juggle with his alien translator to absorb data and do the papers himself.
Dib didn't even want to be in the same row to see Zim, after the kiss, he was about ready to put a chalked line between them. Dib just felt so hot from immature pettiness it was almost impossible to focus, "Ah, Dib, since your so absorbed in your book, why don't you read Un Amor?"
Dib stood up, holding the textbook in his arms, "Because of you, in gardens of blossoming flowers; I ache from the perfumes of spring…"
"No, no, no, Dib...read it…"
Dib blinked and his cheeks felt warm again, Zim never heard him speak Spanish. Dib kept it to himself, as he was more fluent in English, but he was well immersed for a young man like himself. He shyly cleared his throat as the class giggled.
"Por ti junto a los jardines recién florecidos me duelen
los perfumes de primavera.
He olvidado tu rostro, no recuerdo tus manos,
¿cómo besaban tus labios?
Por ti amo las blancas estatuas dormidas en los parques,
las blancas estatuas que no tienen voz ni mirada.
He olvidado tu voz, tu voz alegre.
He olvidado tus ojos.
Como una flor a su perfume, estoy atado a tu recuerdo impreciso.
Estoy cerca del dolor como una herida, si me tocas me dañarás irremediablemente.
Tus caricias me envuelven como las enredaderas a los muros sombríos.
He olvidado tu amor y sin embargo te adivino detrás de todas las ventanas.
Por ti me duelen los pesados perfumes del estío:
Por ti vuelvo a acechar los ginos que precipitan los deseos,
las estrellas en fuga, los objetos que caen."
Zim must have looked dumb struck, speechless, or both, because when Dib caught Zim's wide eyed look, the weird sensation from last night made him hastily sit back down on his seat. He faced the window, cupping his cheek to ignore Zim's gaze. "Now, class, repeat that...but in English. You translate!" Dib felt relieved somewhat, he was allowed to sit back on this, but he murmured the poem to himself, in a quiet whisper.
"Because of you, in gardens of blossoming flowers; I ache from the perfumes of spring.
I have forgotten your face, I no longer remember your hands; how did your lips feel on mine?
Because of you, I love the white statues drowsing in the parks, the white statues that have neither voice nor sight.
I have forgotten your voice, your happy voice; I have forgotten your eyes…"
Dib was usually the first one to annoy Zim at his locker, but in a weird twist of fate; Zim was beside Dib, trying to get his attention. "Dib! Dib worm!" Zim barked, "Come on…! Talk to me! You can't just...close your face door on Zim!" Dib glared at him. He looked tired and livid. Dib never expected Zim to crawl back to him in this fashion like a lover from a romantic flick desperately trying to get his lady back. It was irritating. Dib wanted to fling all his textbooks at Zim like a curveball special and call it a day.
"Yes I can!" Dib said firmly, "We're not friends! Get off my dick, Zim."
"But we're still rivals, right?"
Dib slammed his locker closed and looked at him, a silent fury was in his sneer, "Are we?!" he snapped, "I thought you'd get off my case, after that incident yesterday! I...I expected you to be happy 'oh boy, Zim really made a fool out of that human stink' but here you are, l… asking for an apology, after I apologized, forced me to the floor and you kissed me when I didn't want it!" Some of the students heads were turning at the mention of the word kiss. Zim started to sweat.
"You're getting a little loud."
Dib stepped on Zim's foot, hard.