I own nothing that you recognize (really, no Hobbit or Lotr at all, and I read a lot of fanfiction, if you think that I stole an idea from you or some other story that you've ready, I apologize in advance)

Chapter Five: Fighting Temptations in Rivendell

True to his word, Bilbo did sleep for several days, waking up on the morning of their fourth day in Rivendell. The moment that he walked into the room that the dwarves were in, he was tackled by three flying bodies.

"BILBO!" He laughed as Fili, Kili, and Ori patted him all over. "You're okay!"

"Well of course I am, what did you think that they were doing to me?" They looked sheepish.

"You've been gone for three days; we had a lot of time to imagine all of the horrible things that elves could do to you while you are helpless in their clutches." Bilbo snorted, pulling away from them.

"I was asleep; if they wanted to hurt me they would have. As you can see, I am perfectly healthy."

"Indeed you are." Bilbo spun to find himself looking around right into blue eyes. Thorin looked him up and down. "You look good, Bilbo." The hobbit found himself blushing under his gaze.

"Thanks." He coughed awkwardly. "Yes, um well… Ori!" The youngest dwarf was by his second in an instant. "Grab your sword. It's time to train." Ducking around the dwarf king, he skidded to a halt in the hall. "You coming, or are you going to try and find your way to the arena and make me come and find you when you get lost?" That set him into motion, and he grabbed his weapon and ran after their hobbit. Shrugging at each other, the others followed the two out into a large open arena with a dirt floor. Bilbo pulled Ori into the center.

"Right, first thing in fighting; find a way to hold your sword that is comfortable for you. Most instructors will make you hold it a certain way, that is stupid and takes way too much time to learn. Just make sure that your hold is strong enough that if someone was to push their sword against yours it wouldn't fall out of your hands." Bilbo waited patiently as Ori fixed his hands, nodding to himself. "That's good. Now, random question: you're a scribe right?" He nodded.

"Yes, I want to become a master, but that will have to wait until after this quest."

"Okay, so here is what we are going to do. I'll run you through the motions of swordplay until you are sufficiently good at them, and then we will spar. Got that?" A nervous Dori stepped forward.
"Wouldn't it be better to use wooden swords?" Bilbo shook his head.

"Not at all. Those things slow your reflexes; they make you think that a real sword won't give you more than bruises." And so the hobbit started teaching the young dwarf, who was actually very good for someone whe's never picked up a sword before in his life. The dwarves were astonished at how he taught, making it fun for his student. An hour later, Bilbo pronounced him ready to fight.

"Ori, in a real fight, your opponent will be aiming to kill you. You need to get in there quick and take the first shot, knocking them out before he can even start to use whatever skills he may have. I want you to try and hit me, not my sword." Ori frowned.

"But I don't want to hurt you!" The burglar smiled.

"And you probably won't. Just picture me as an enemy, what do you do?" Bilbo said go, and off they went. The warriors of the Company could tell that he was holding most of his ability back to not discourage Ori, they realized. The fight went on for several minutes before Bilbo spun around and braced his sword against the dwarf's, sending it clattering to the ground. He kicked it behind him and turned back to Ori. "You've lost your sword. What are you going to do to stop me from hurting you?" Ori looked around and lunged.

But instead of jumping at the hobbit, which would have gotten him killed in a real fight, he lept to the rack of weapons on the wall. Grabbing a set of knives, he turned around and threw them at his target. Bilbo managed to block most of them with his sword, but one got through his defenses, slicing through the side of his arm. He fell to his knees and grasped his arm. Ori rushed forward.

"Oh my gosh, Bilbo, I am so-" So fast that none in the Company even saw him move, Bilbo had swung out his leg, knocked the dwarf off of his feet, and was now straddling his waist and Ori had a knife gently pressed against his throat.

"Rule three: Never underestimate your opponent, especially when you have just injured them. You don't know what tricks they have up their sleeves to kill you with." Jumping up, he pulled the dwarf to his feet, before patting his back. "But that was a very impressive fight. Those knives? Great thinking! Most of the people I train just try to take me down with force - it doesn't end well for them." The two laughed, turning back to others whose jaws had fallen open.

"Ori, that was amazing!" Nori and Dori ran forward, before pulling their younger brother away to talk. The others gathered around the hobbit.

"Okay, why didn't you tell us that you were such a great teacher? Ori has never picked up a sword in his life, and now he's actually good at it!" Kili remarked. The teacher just stared at him.

"You never asked," he deadpanned. Thorin bumped him with his shoulder.

"While you are none the less impressive, I'm pretty sure that we could take you." A cough sounded from behind them. Elrond, Lindir, and 11 other elves stood in the archway of the training area. Lindir stepped forward.

"I'm sure that Bilbo would love to fight you all, but it will have to wait. We have first dibs on sparring with him." Fili groaned.

"13 fights? But that will take forever!" Bilbo chuckled.

"Not thirteen, Fili."

"How many then? 8? 5? 10?" Elrond stepped up next to his lieutenant.

"One. We all will be fighting my son. As a responsible father, I can't allow my children to leave unpracticed in taking on several opponents, now can I?" The dwarves looked at the elven lord in shock. Bilbo, however, just walked forward.

"Limitations? What are our weapons?"

"No killing or seriously injuring. Swords only." Bilbo opened his mouth but was cut off. "Yes, you may use your powers, but nothing too huge, okay? We don't need you passing out for a month." Bilbo sighed and walked over to the weapon shack mumbling.
"You go over your limit one time while saving their sorry asses, and not so much as a thank you. It is not fair that the king is allowed to act like a child while I, who was a child at the time, can not!" Balin, who was pretty sure that he was the only one within hearing range, laughed at the hobbit's words, who shot him a secretive grin. As soon as he had placed his other weapons in a pile by the door, a sword flew at him, which he blocked with the weapon in his left hand. After drawing two of his swords, the dwarfs were shocked to see his other ones rise into the air next to him, as if he was fighting with two other people. In an instant the elves had him surrounded but he just laughed. "You are really going to try that one again?" He jumped into the air, hovering for a few seconds before slamming back down, knocking several elves off of their feet, 3 of which didn't stand back up. Only 2 seconds into the fight and he had already taken out a fourth of their team.

Bilbo wasted no more time talking, choosing instead to jump into the fight. The dwarves watched amazed as he moved more fluidly than his 'attackers', seeming to blur as he darted back and forth between his opponents. He stayed on the offense while his floating swords watched his back. The clanging of metal was the only thing heard for several moments, until suddenly only Lindir and Elrond were left standing, the others leaning up against the wall, knocked out. Bilbo dropped two of his swords, which clattered to the ground. "What have you guys been doing all these years that I've been gone?" He said as the three began to circle each other. "You seem to have grown soft, Adar and Gwador!" As if they were one, all three lept at each other, weapons swinging around in a blur of movement. Lindir and Elrond managed to disarm him of one of his swords, but it wasn't long before he had taken both of them down. Two other elves walked into the arena and helped carry their leader and captain to the hospital wing, for they were littered with several small cuts, but grinning all the same.

"You seem to have softened up, as well, Iôn," Elrond called over his shoulder as he limped out the door.

"I was holding back, Adar. I would hate for your ego to take as much of a beating as you did." The lord laughed. "Imagine what it would be like if I went full out, consequences be damned." They could just make out Lindir's curses of how they would never be able to beat him, then. The only thing that kept the dwarves from laughing was Elrond's reply.

"If you completely let go, you would be lucky to keep your life." While this seemed awfully morbid to the rest of the Company , Bilbo just shook his head with a faint smile on his face, before turning back to the dwarves.

"So, you still want to fight me?" They shared a look before as they all charged forward, weapons raised. Bilbo took out Nori, Ori, Dori, Bofur, Bombur, Gloin, and Oin first, with some well placed whacks to the head. They floated away, being carried out of harm's way by the wind. Next he took down Balin and Bifur, who put up a rather good fight but ultimately lost. Dwalin was the next to go, although Bilbo had had to distract the sons of Durin to do so, which wore him out. Taking down Fili and Kili was hard, for they worked together perfectly, having trained together for that very reason. Finally, only Thorin and Bilbo remained, each very sweaty and breathing heavily. Circling each other like the hobbit had done to the elves, they began to trade remarks.

"Your lot is harder to beat than the elves, I'll give you that." Thorin smirked.

"We are better than them at fighting."

"I didn't say that. I've been fighting elves for decades; I've never fought dwarves before, I don't know their moves yet."

"That's too bad for you, or else you would know this one." Feinting right and then left, Thorin braced his sword against Bilbo's, sending it flying to the other side of the arena. He grabbed the hobbit by the waist, swung him over his shoulder and pushed him to the ground, straddling his hips and pinned his arms above his head, their faces only inches apart. "And here I thought you said you could beat us."

"Them," he nodded to the now awake dwarves who were watching their exchange with interest. "I can. But you seem to have distracted me." Bilbo leaned up and kissed Thorin's cheek. The dwarf looked down at him in shock, loosening his arms. In an instant, the hobbit had wrapped his legs around the body above him and flipped them over, so that their positions changed. He leaned down next to the kings head.

"Rule Three, remember? Never underestimate your opponent or allow them to distract you. You will be beaten," Bilbo whispered in his ear, sending shivers through the body underneath him. Pulling away they looked into each other's eyes. Slowly their faces came closer together and their lips would have touched had applause not erupted from their right. Jumping to his feet, Bilbo helped Thorin stand up before they both turned to the other members of their Company , who were staring at them with amazement in their eyes.

"Well," Balin said. "That is the most entertaining and impressive fight I've seen in years."

"Aye." The others chorused. Bilbo coughed.

"Yes, well I should go visit my other family, I'm sure that they are quite anxious to see me." He bowed his head to the others, but avoided looking Thorin in the eye. He left the training area and as soon as he got into the hall, he slumped against the wall. What was he doing in there? Kissing Thorin, even just on the cheek was not allowed. He can not fall in love with him. Sure, he was handsome, and a good fighter, and his eyes sparkled when he laughed - NO! He was a king! Bilbo had to stay away.

Thorin watched as Bilbo left the training room. The others left soon after, talking about the hobbit's amazing fighting skills. Balin stayed standing next to his king, waiting to see if he wanted to talk. Suddenly, Thorin threw his arms into the air, stalking away.

"Now, whatever is the matter?" Balin said patiently. The king whirled around to face him.

"What's the matter? Did you not just see what I did? I almost kissed him!" The older dwarf chuckled.

"Unless my eyes are deceiving me, I'm pretty sure that Bilbo kissed you first on the side of your face to distract you, and then almost kissed you for real; not the other way around. He was the one on top, remember? He leaned into you." Thorin stopped his pacing to stare at his mentor.

"Really? You think so? He might like me too?" He sounded so desperate, like a dwarfling with his first crush, that Balin stepped forward and clasped his hands in his own.

"I think it's possible that he likes you even more than you like him." Thorin's face lit up then fell.

"That's not possible, I've been nothing but rude to him since we met." Balin snorted.

"While I agree, you were horrible when you first met, do you honestly think that Bilbo would allow you to keep his blade if he didn't at least like you a bit?" Thorin slid the knife out of his sleeve, staring at the beautifully decorated weapon. Several small gems, emeralds, were inlaid in the hilt, and flames were carved into the steel. When he looked back up to thank the older dwarf, he found that he was standing alone in the training area. Thorin nodded to himself.

"I will trust Balin. He has never led me wrong before." With that he walked away in hopes of finding the other dwarves in his Company .