Chapter Eight: Gollum and Azog
Bilbo groaned. His whole body seemed to be on fire and not the good kind either. Everything hurt, he was pretty sure that he had at least a dozen broken bones, and his head was pounding. He had brought the cavern's roof down on the goblins, killing most of them, that was for sure. Perhaps fire traveling after receiving a beating was not the best idea. He had pictured the outside of the mountain, but he had gone who knows where, causing him to stumble and smack his head on a rock. When he had regained consciousness and found himself in a - thankfully different- dark cavern, lying behind a clump of mushrooms. He sees a goblin that somehow must have grabbed onto him lying nearby, almost dead. Suddenly, Bilbo sees a strange figure approaching the goblin. It was a slimy, skinny creature that seemed as dark as darkness, except for two big round pale eyes in his thin face. The thing gets around on all fours and Bilbo holds his breath as it passes him by before stopping at the goblin.
"Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes! Gollum. Gollum." Bilbo, out of sight behind the mushrooms, watches as 'Gollum' circles around the goblin. Gollum starts to pull the goblin away by the feet when suddenly, the goblin wakes up and begins flailing around. Startled that the thing wasn't dead, Gollum grabs a rock and pounds the goblin on the head with it, knocking it unconscious again. As Bilbo watches in slight horror, a golden ring falls out of Gollum's loincloth and falls on the floor. Gollum goes back to his task of taking the goblin wherever it is he is going. "Nasty goblinses. Better than old bones, Precious; better than nothing." Waiting a few seconds after the creature left, Bilbo pushed himself up, holding his head in his hands. Shuffling out of his hiding spot, his foot kicks something into the air. Instinctively, he grabs whatever flew up into the air and brought it closer to his face so he could see it. It was a gold ring with words that were too faded for him to read etched onto the side. Hearing Gollum singing in the distance, Bilbo puts the Ring into his pocket and follows the sound of Gollum's voice.o
"Too many boneses, Precious! Nothing of flesh! Shut up! Get its skin off. Start with its head. The cold hard lands, they bites our hands, they gnaws our feet. The rocks and stones, they're like old bones, all bare of meat. Cold as death, they have no breath, it's good to eat!" Rounding a corner, the hobbit sees Gollum silhouetted on top of a rock in the middle of a small lake. Gollum is singing as he beats the goblin's body. He smashes it in the head again with a rock. Although Bilbo is sure that he can't seem him, Gollum looks up. Bilbo quickly hides behind a rock, to exhausted to do much more. He peeks out from behind the boulder but is shocked to see that Gollum is no longer there. Bilbo slowly looks up and finds Gollum on a rock above him; he jumps down in front of Bilbo. Groaning, he realizes that he must be really out of it if someone managed to sneak up on him.
"Blesses and splashes, Precious! That's a meaty mouthful." Gollum approaches Bilbo, but Bilbo places the point of his sword on Gollum's throat, causing Gollum to retreat in fear. "Aaahh. Gollum. Gollum."
"Back. Stay back. I'm warning you, don't come any closer." Bilbo says, wincing when the action jostles his ribs.
"What is it, Precious? What is it?"
"My name is-" He caught himself just in time. Never tell your name to a creature that you have no idea what it is. "Is none of your concern. I don't want any trouble, do you understand? In fact, I was just leaving, so…"
"NOOO! Precious, can't leave!" Bilbo ignored Gollum until he realized that he was following him as the hobbit made his way out of the tunnel. Swinging around, he pointed his sword at the creature.
"Who are you and what do you want?" Gollum stared up at him with big eyes
"I's is Gollum. I like games. What has roots as nobody sees, is taller than trees. Up, up, up it goes, and yet, never grows." Bilbo sighed.
"...The mountain." Gollum begins laughing uproariously.
"Yess, yess, oh, let's have another one, eh? Yes, come on, do it again, do it—do it again. Ask us." His face morphed into a frown. "No! No more riddles. Finish him off. Finish him now. Gollum! Gollum!" Gollum snarls, and begins rushing at Bilbo to kill him, but Bilbo holds out his hand to stop him and begins speaking. It'd be so much easier to just kill the creature, but at the moment he doubted he could even lift his sword to behead it.
"No! I want to play. I do. I want to play. I can see you are very good at this. So why don't we have a game of riddles? Yes, just you and me." Bilbo crouches until he is level with Gollum; Gollum scuttles forward, close to Bilbo, whispering excitedly.
"Yes! Yes, just, just—just us." Bilbo smiles. Perhaps he could get something out of this anyway. He was too tired to be using magic to find his own way out so maybe...
"Yes. And—and if I win, you show me the way out." Gollum takes over and snarls, turning away from Bilbo. Gollum's two personality's talk to each other.
"And if it loses? What then?Well, if it loses, Precious, we will eats it!" Gollum laughs to himself, then turns back to Bilbo.
"If you's loses, we eats it whole." The hobbit digests this new information before nodding.
"Fair enough." Bilbo stands up and puts his sword away as Gollum looks on interestedly.
"Well, you's first." As Bilbo thinks of a riddle, Gollum rests his hands and chin on the edge of a rock.
"Thirty white horses on a red hill. First they champ, then they stamp, then they stand still." As Gollum thinks, he keeps opening his eyes and mouth as if he knows the answer, then changes his mind. This goes on for several seconds, until he finally replies questioningly.
"Teeth?" Bilbo nods. "Teeth! Yes, my Precious. But we—we—we only have nine."Gollum displays his mouth, showing that he really does only have nine teeth, slightly disgusting the hobbit out. Gollum begins reciting his next riddle, while getting closer and closer to Bilbo.
"Our turn. Voiceless it cries, wingless flutters, toothless bites, mouthless mutters. Oh, oh! We knows. We knows! Shut up."
"Wind. It's wind! Of course it is." Bilbo said keeping his eyes on the creature. Gollum snarls in frustration and begins slinking around, approaching Bilbo.
"Very clever, very clever." When he gets too close for comfort, Bilbo pulls out his sword and points it at Gollum again, but also begins saying his own riddle.
"Ah, ah, ah, ah. A—a box without hinges, key, o—or, or lid; yet golden treasure inside is hid." Bilbo grabbed at his chest. It was becoming hearer to breath. This was not good. Gollum thinks hard, talking to himself and making many hand motions.
"A box...and a lid...and then a key...
"Well?"
"It's nasty. Uh, box, uh..."
"Give up?" Bilbo rasped out.
"Give us a chance, Precious, give us a chance!" Gollum begins pounding the floor and snarling in frustration. He puckers his face up deeply, then suddenly opens his eyes wide as he gets the answer.
"Eggses! Eggses!" He laughs. "What crunchy little eggses, yes. Grandmother taught us to suck them, yes."
"Ahh. We have one for you: All things it devours, birds, beasts, trees, flowers. Gnaws iron, bites steel, grinds hard stones to meal. Answer us." Bilbo tries to ignore the pain do that he can answer the question. "Is it tasty? Is it scrumptious? Is it crunchable?" When Gollum says 'crunchable,' he appears behind Bilbo and tries to grab him by the throat, but Bilbo jumps away and points his sword at Gollum.
"Time! The answer is time." Gollum snarls. "Last one. Ask me. ASK ME!" The hobbit nodded.
"Okay, okay. We hurt without moving. We poison without touching. We bear the truth and the lies. We are not to be judged by our size." Gollum opened his mouth but then frowned. Several minutes went by with the creature not answering before Bilbo spoke again. "Time's Up!" Upon hearing this, Gollum falls to the floor, sobbing. "I won the game, you promised to show me the way out."
"Did we say so, Precious? Did we say so?" Gollum slowly turns around and glares hatefully at Bilbo. "No! No. I shall not!" Bilbo sighed when the creature made its way towards the burglar, a rock raised in his hands. He was shocked to see the insaness in his arms and knew that there was only one thing to do. He raised his sword.
"I'm sorry, Gollum." Bringing his sword down, Bilbo slammed it onto it's head, knocking him out immediately. He would have killed him, but his vision was starting to have black dots dancing in it and he was wobbling on his feet. He allowed the wind to pick him up so that he was floating a couple inches off of the ground. "I don't suppose that you found a way out of here?" That was all he got to say before he was zooming through the tunnels. The wind carried him out of the mountain and into a forest of trees until he got to a cliff. What he saw made him wrench himself from the wind's hold and charge forward.
Thorin should've known that the orcs would find them eventually. Azog and his Warg Riders could just be seen over the a peak in the mountain.
"Run them down! Tear them to pieces!" Azog swings his mace forward, and several of his Wargs (without riders) leapt forward and race down the mountain after the Company, howling.
"Out of the frying pan..." Thorin sighs wiping at his tear-streaked face.
"...and into the fire! Run! RUN!" Gandalf screamed. They all start running down the mountain as fast as they can. The Wargs follow them rapidly; it becomes dark. Soon the foremost Warg catches up to the group and leaps at Ori; he ducks behind a rock and the Warg's jaws snap in the air over his head. The Warg lands in front of him. Growling, it charges at him.
Ori pulls out his sword and holds it in front of him; surprisingly, the Warg impales itself in the head on the sword and falls down dead. Dori looks on in surprise before grabbing his brother and pulling him forward. A few more Wargs catch up to the fleeing dwarves, but they are quickly dispatched. The Company reaches a large outcropping of land with a few trees growing on it; they are trapped there, as there is no way off the outcropping besides a great fall down the mountain.
"Up into the trees, all of you! Come on, climb! Climb!" Gandalf quickly scales a tree, the others following soon after. Bifur throws an axe, killing a Warg which was approaching him. Bofur jumps off a rock and grabs a tree branch, using Dwalin's head as a stepping stone to the tree. Other dwarves began climbing into the trees as well.
"They're coming!" Balin cried. Gandalf climbs to the top of the furthest tree; Dwalin boost Balin up. Thorin, Bombur, and the rest climb up trees too. The main body of Wargs and Warg Riders approach. Dozens of Wargs circle the trees in which the Company members are perched. Gandalf reaches out with his staff and picks up a moth sitting in the same tree as him. Bringing the moth close to his face, he whispers to it; he then blows it gently, causing it to flutter away. The Wargs cease their growling and turn as the White Warg, with Azog on its back, approaches slowly. As his White Warg growls, Azog strokes it and talks ominously.
"Do you smell it? The scent of fear? I remember your father reeked of it, Thorin son of Thrain." Thorin jerks back, his face filled with pain and grief, realizing that Azog had captured his father.
"It can not be." Azog turns to speak with his Wargs and Riders.
"That one is mine. Kill the others!" At his command, the Wargs leap forward and try to climb the trees. They jump as high as they can, scrabbling at the tree trunks and breaking apart branches in their jaws in their efforts. The trees shake violently at the assault, and the dwarves struggle to hold on. "Drink their blood!"
With the weight of the Wargs climbing it, the furthest tree from the edge of the cliff, which has several dwarfs in it, gets uprooted from the ground and begins leaning wildly. As more Wargs grab onto it, the tree tips over and lands on the next tree; the dwarves jump from the falling tree to the next. However, this tree as well tips over; like dominoes, all the trees begin falling over. All the dwarves and Gandalf manage to jump onto the last tree, on the very edge of the cliff. This tree doesn't fall over. Azog laughs. Looking around in desperation, Gandalf spies a pinecone. He grabs it and uses his staff to set the pinecone on fire; he then throws it down amid the Wargs, who retreat in fear of the fire. Azog is startled and angry at the unexpected resistance. Gandalf lights two more pinecones and throws one down to Fili.
"Fili!" The wizard cried. Fili catches the pinecone. The others gather pinecones and Gandalf sets them on fire; they then throw the flaming pinecones like missiles at the Wargs. All the area around the tree gets set on fire, forcing the Wargs to retreat a distance. At least one Warg gallops away with its fur alight. Azog roars in anger and frustration as the dwarves cheer. Suddenly, their cheers turn into cries of fear as the roots of the tree they are in start to give way; the tree tips precariously over the edge of the cliff, but comes to a rest sticking straight out away from the edge of the cliff. Gandalf looks down and sees the ground far, far, below. The dwarves try to hold on as they get flung around. Ori loses his grip on the tree and falls, but manages to grab on to Dori's leg.
"Aahhh! Oh! Oh no!"
"Mister Gandalf!" Because of the extra weight of his little brother, Dori loses his grip on the tree as well and falls, but Gandalf quickly swings his staff down and Dori grabs on to the end of it. "Hold on, Ori!"
Azog growls; Thorin, clinging to the tree, looks at him in hate and anger. Thorin pulls himself up, his sword drawn, and gets off as the others, hanging from the tree, look on. Thorin runs through the burning ground at Azog and his White Warg. Azog spreads his arms wide with a smug grin on his face. Thorin growls as he runs with his sword up and his oaken branch shield held in front of him. Azog crouches, then roars as his Warg leaps at Thorin. Thorin tries to swing his sword, but the Warg hits him in the chest with its forepaw, smashing Thorin to the ground. The other dwarves in the tree look on in shock. Dori struggles to hold on to Gandalf's staff.
"Help!" Ori screams desperately. As Thorin gets back on his feet, panting, Azog and his White Warg wheel around; they charge at Thorin again. Azog swings his mace and smashes Thorin in the face before Thorin can react. Thorin is brutally flung to the ground by the impact.
"Nooo!" Balin cries. Azog roars in excitement. The White Warg clamps its jaws around Thorin and Thorin yells in pain. Dwalin tries to get off and tree to assist Thorin, but the tree branches he is holding on to break, swinging him precariously over the edge and preventing him from reaching Thorin.
"Thorin! Nooo!" Dwalin yells. As the White Warg holds Thorin in its mouth, Thorin manages to hit its head with the pommel of his sword. Roaring, the White Warg throws Thorin several feet away onto a flat rock nearby. Thorin lands heavily, his sword falling out of his hand. He is almost unconscious.
"Bring me the Dwarf's head." One of Azog's Warg Riders jumps off his Warg and approaches Thorin, his sword raised to behead the king of dwarves. Suddenly, someone, who the dwarves thought they would never see again, burst forward and parried the attack, tackling the orc to the ground and stabbing it with his sword, killing it instantly. Bilbo turns to face the pale orc, sword raised defiantly and his eyes glowing with power and hatred. "Kill him." Azog snarls out, remembering the hobbits he had killed when he had raided the Shire. The fire around Bilbo and the orcs flared up, keeping a protective barrier between the stunned dwarves and their friends. The burglar smirked evilly.
"You already killed my family once. What makes you think I'm going to let you do it again?" Bilbo raised his hands towards the sky. "Now it's your turn." Azog watched as five of the orcs and wargs that were around him flew up into the sky before crashing back to the ground, dying immediately. He looked back shocked at the hobbit, who just grinned and ran forward into the group of enemies. No matter what they did, they couldn't seem to kill this stupid halfling. Blows that should've killed him only went so deep, but he was killing the orcs left and right. Bilbo jumped back out of the fight, staring into Azog's eyes.
"Next time I see you, you will die." Bilbo called before running back to Thorin's side. Before Azog could follow him, fires raged all around him, efficiently boxing him in. When he escaped the flames, the dwarves, hobbit, and wizard were gone, the only things remaining were a charred clif and a barren terrain. Azog lifted his head and screamed into the sky, a sound that echoed for miles. He made a silent promise. He would find that halfling, and he would kill him.