I totally forgot but glasgowgirl92 made me a playlist for this fic on Spotify! So go give it a follow at:

user/kittenkat92/playlist/59Frqw1epMbdyVwZDmYPH3

Special thanks to queseraone for editing :)

"Shawn! Come down for breakfast please, the bus will be here soon." Jay turned away from the stairs and made his way back to his wife in the kitchen, shaking his head. Recently mornings had become a hassle in the Halstead home. Sixteen-year-old Shawn was definitely not a morning person, just like his mother. He used to be an early riser—going for a run with his dad every morning they could—but for some reason, he started sleeping in until the last possible minute. "I swear, he's getting lazier by the day."

"Relax, he's a teenager. Sleeping in is probably the least of our worries. I mean, if he's anything like me…" Erin made a face as she turned away from the stove—plates of pancakes and fruit in each hand—walking over to her husband. Mornings were the one time Erin enjoyed, it was the only time everyone was present, for the most part.

About six years ago, Jay had been promoted to sergeant and took over Intelligence from Voight. The team stayed relatively the same, with only a couple of additions when Erin made her big move. Instead of working past the metal gate, Erin was leading her own team in the 21st District from the third floor. A new youth division was introduced recently and the commander heavily recruited Erin to lead it.

Shawn dropped his backpack on the floor in the kitchen before seating himself at the table next to his father.

"Morning, how'd you sleep?" Jay asked, as he turned his attention to his son.

"Fine." Shawn replied shortly before digging into his breakfast, wanting to avoid conversation so early in the morning.

"We haven't gone for a run in a while, maybe if I get home from work early tonight we could go?" Jay asked hopefully.

"I'm good. Wouldn't want to pull you away from work." Shawn retorted angrily as he looked down at his watch. It was the same watch his father wore, just in white. It had been a gift for his fourteenth birthday. "I gotta go." He quickly grabbed his lunch off the counter and his bag off the floor before rushing out the front door.

"You barely ate." Jay called out, sighing deeply as he heard the door slam. He placed his fork down next to his plate before looking up to meet his wife's eyes. "Did I do something to upset him?"

"No, you didn't." Erin said, interlocking her fingers with Jay's. "Like I said before, he's a teenager. This mood and attitude is normal. You should see some of the kids I get to work with."

The moment was interrupted by a text on Jay's phone. He reached into his pocket, turning on the screen as he read it over. He smiled sheepishly at his wife before standing up from his seat. "Sorry, I gotta go."

"Don't be sorry, it's work." Erin shrugged.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for the drama though." Jay kissed Erin before swiping his keys off the counter. "I'll hopefully see you at the district. Bye."

He hated this place.

He had begged his parents to move him to a new school, that he just didn't feel right where he was. It was a Halstead family tradition to go to the King of Cross Catholic Academy. Whenever his parents asked if he was having any problems at school, for some reason he could never tell the truth.

He felt ashamed.

The son of cops couldn't handle a few bullies.

Day after day he lived through their torment. Knocking his things off his desk in one class; teaming up against him in the locker rooms before gym class; and the worst part, lunch. Lunch, where he was ostracized for eating alone or reading a book in the library. Sometimes he just ate in the bathroom—away from the crowds—where nobody could see him.

This had been going on for months now. It started in the middle of his grade ten year, and when summer arrived he expected everyone to forget about it. But when September rolled around and he was a grade older, it continued.

The teachers seemed oblivious to it, or they didn't care. There was always something happening to him.

Shawn walked down the hallway towards his locker, keeping his head down. Yesterday, he was accused of staring at one of his bully's girlfriend and the bruise that stretched across the right side of his ribs was making it difficult for him to breathe deeply. He didn't want to make the same mistake again—he wasn't sure if his body could take it.

But no matter what he did, it was always the wrong move.

He had just put in the combination in his locker and opened it—only for it to be slammed shut again—narrowly missing his fingers.

"What's up, Halstead?"

"Fuck off, Bryant."

"Excuse me?" Bryant—Shawn's worst bully—narrowed his eyes at him. "Say it again." Bryant shoved Shawn's shoulder, causing him to fall down roughly onto the floor. The fight drew attention of the surrounding students in the hallway, everyone egging on the fight. A few other boys—Bryant's friends—joined him in kicking and punching Shawn as he tried his best to block their abuse.

Shawn only felt the kicks stop when he opened his eyes and noticed a couple of teachers pulling Bryant and his friends away from him. They were trying to calm the crowd down by sending students away to their classes—including Bryant.

He never got in trouble. It was because of those rich parents of his. He could probably spray paint a giant penis on the front windows of the school and the only thing the administrators would do is give him a stern look before calling someone to clean it up.

God, he hated Bryant.

If only there was a way that Shawn could make him back off. For good.

After a late night, Jay made his way into the house and noticed that the living room was illuminated by the TV. Erin waited up for him on most nights, especially when his case was rougher than others—she could never get to sleep without him on those nights. It was the same for himself and no matter how much he tried to reassure her that he would be okay, he knew that he could never ease her worries.

She smiled up at him when she noticed his presence in the room. Jay could see the metaphorical weight being lifted off her shoulders when she had spotted him. Ever since a patrolman in their district was shot and killed on a routine call, Erin had been more on edge and was always checking up on Jay. He obviously didn't mind, but he wished there was something he could do to calm her down a bit.

"Let's go to bed?" He offered tenderly, turning off the TV and extending a hand to help her up.

"You didn't eat dinner yet." Erin protested. "Let me reheat the leftovers for you?"

"Erin, I'm fine. Ruzek went out and grabbed dinner for the team. I just want to snuggle up in bed with my wife after a long day."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive." Jay led Erin towards the stairs and they started making their way up. "I'm just gonna check on Shawn and then I'll be right there." Jay stopped outside his son's bedroom, giving Erin a quick kiss before she turned away.

He knocked softly on the bedroom door before letting himself in. The bright yellow colour of the walls always pulled Jay's face into a smile—it was such a calming colour. Shawn was sitting at his desk and faced the door when he heard the squeak of the hinges as it opened.

"Hey." Shawn said as he saw who was at his door.

"Hey, can I sit?"

"Yeah, of course."

"How was school today?" Jay asked casually as he took a seat on his son's bed.

"The usual."

Jay nodded in reply, not knowing what else to say. It felt like his relationship with his son was deteriorating by the day and he didn't know how to fix it. Jay wasn't sure what he did wrong. All of Shawn's life he tried to be a supportive and loving father—the kind that he desperately craved growing up—but maybe he didn't do as well as he thought.

"I just wanted to tell you something. If I pissed you off in some way and I'm not aware of it, I'm sorry. If there's something bothering you and you feel like you can't approach me about it, I'm sorry about that too." Jay held eye contact with his son, trying to gauge his reaction to his words. "I love you and I'll support you with anything you want to do in your life. Always."

Shawn stared at his father with a look of guilt on his face. Nothing was his fault. It was that fucking school. Maybe telling him about the bullying wouldn't be so bad. What's the worst that could happen? Shawn opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out. He only managed to choke out a small 'yeah' and nodded his head simultaneously. In the pit of his stomach, he had a strange feeling. He didn't like that feeling, it felt like he was going to throw up. It was as if it was a sign. All he had to do was explain why he'd been so closed off recently and the feeling would go away.

But he couldn't.

"Don't stay up too long okay?" Jay squeezed Shawn's shoulder before making his way towards the door. "Sleep well, bud."

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

A Thousand Years by Christina Perri

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