Title: The legend of a Warlock who Served the Once and Future King
Author: Lamiabellascrittore
Rating: T+
Warnings: Violence, sexual content, adult situations and more- deal with it. There is more to come.
Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, or any of the characters. If I did there would be a season six, seven, eight, and so on, and a movie, of course.
Spoilers: Possibly.
Summary: Merlin and Arthur go on a mission that was supposed to be strictly reconnaissance. However, nothing ever goes as planned, and they get separated. Merlin is kidnapped by Morgana and Arthur must find a way to rescue his ever loyal servant. But, will Arthur still save Merlin after he learns Merlin has magic? This story is building up to the battle of Camlann. There most likely will be a sequel if you all want.
A/N: Sorry for the wait. Family drama takes its toll and its all I can do to try to keep writing.
So on brighter note. If you like it I will continue. Please be kind. ;) The more you review the more likely it is that I will continue with a sequel 1000+ years into the future.
Sorry for any errors, it becomes difficult after editing it so many times. It becomes a lot like a word repeated over and over again until it no longer makes any sense. ; p
Okay. New A/N: So the story is getting darker. Sorry. Can't help it. I like the dark sexy stuff. It will most likely get more intense.
Come on people give me some love and review. 3
I hope you enjoy...
Chapter 26
Secrets Revealed
"So." Arthur grimaced. "Why did you start to practice magic?" Arthur glowered at Merlin over the floating orb. "What were you even thinking? Magic... magic is evil." Arthur scolded and scowled back at the Orb of magic floating before him. It was beautiful no doubt but his fathers voice in the back of his mind telling him magic was evil was louder than the beauty before him.
"That's all you'll think about magic, isn't it." Merlin snapped aggravated. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Good and evil. Right and wrong, black and white, but there are no differences when it comes to magic." Merlin insisted. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. Fatigue suddenly threatened to swallow him whole. He shook it off and continued. His magic was working on healing him, but slowly. "Magic is a constant force a path of eternal energy that can be wielded, and brought to life. It is no different than a blade." Merlin's eyes snapped to Arthur when he went to interrupt. "Tell me Arthur, do you know each and every man in your guard as closely as a brother because you place a sword in their hand and give them your trust. It is exactly the same." Merlin paused searching for words, eyes shifting back and forth. "If you placed a sword in Gwain or Percival hands it will be used for only good, and for the benefit of his people. Place that same blade in the grasp of one of Morgana's men, and then it will be used for bloodshed. The sword remains a constant presence. Magic is no different. It cannot change. It is only as good or evil as the heart of the man wielding it. It is a force you cannot wipe clean from existence. Magic is immortal and Emrys is magic." Merlin smiled ruefully. "I was born with magic. I am magic Arthur. Does that make me evil?" He looked at Arthur.
Arthur looked at Merlin a long while assessing the warlock. "No," Arthur shook his head. "I suppose not." Merlin nodded and went on.
"Unlike Mordred or Morgana who were born with magic like me but are unable to harness it as I can because magic chose me, not the other way around. For me magic is natural. Instinctive. Not something I needed to learn as they did."
"But that's-"
"Not possible?" Merlin finished for him. "Of course it is, its just never happened before. I only studied spells after I arrived in Camelot to better hone and control my gifts."
"Okay. So explain it to me."
"Mm." Merlin murmured. He thought about it for a moment. "Where to start." Merlin wondered.
"How about at the beginning?" Arthur suggested.
"The beginning when I lived in Ealdor or when I moved to Camelot?" Merlin mused aloud. "You already know that I was born with magic so I'm sure we can skip that for now." Merlin said sadly.
There was an underlining glint in Merlin's eye. The way he hedged around his early years suggested his life in Ealdor was ruff. But Arthur could also tell by the way Merlin's cheeks heated that he also had some embarrassing stories about experimenting with magic.
Arthur raised a brow. "Instinctive magic and an insolent tongue? I bet you gave Hunith a job raising you." Arthur joked.
Merlin turned away from Arthur at the mention of his mother. Her face flashed tauntingly inside his mind. Her lifeless eyes haunted him even in his waking hours. Merlin's gut clenched and his heart was suddenly painfully lodged in his throat. Merlin took in a deep breath and released it and with the shuttering breath he tried to lock all his emotional pain into a little box inside his mind where it couldn't overwhelm him.
"Yeah," Merlin agreed avoiding Arthur's gaze Merlin glared murderously at the orb of light between them. He was having a difficult time containing himself. "I probably wasn't much worse than a spoiled prince." Merlin tried to joke but it fell flat. Hidden deep inside him that monster he had been desperate to keep on a leash was rearing it head.
"What happened Merlin." Arthur asked gently. "What happened to your mother?"
"She's dead." Merlin snapped. "What's there to know?"
"How did she die?"
"What does it matter? My mother is gone."
"It matters Merlin because she was you're mother." Arthur said gently. He paused. "Was it Morgana?"
Merlin thought about it a moment. "In a sense I guess it was." Merlin shook his head ridding his mind of the memories that threatened to swallow him whole. "But even if she was the cause by poisoning her, I was the effect and... I ultimately killed her. Me. No one else." Merlin could still hear his mothers screams and Morgana's taunts. The sound of Hunith's breath leaving her body for good. He could still taste the spell he used to kill her and it made him sick. Merlin's eyes searched the air as if looking for something to grab hold of to anchor him to the present. They latched onto Arthur. "I killed my mother, Arthur. Not Morgana." He said hollowly, not a tear shined in his midnight eyes. He was beyond that.
Arthur narrowed his eyes at the sudden change in his friend. Merlin's grimy face was set in indifference, guarded and very, very, cold. His eyes were hard and almost merciless but Arthur knew Merlin enough to see the small edginess behind the mask he put on. Like a deer about to bolt. But deeper still anger festered like a tempest. An involuntary shiver went down his spine at the message in those eyes.
Merlin's anger was always trifling to the king and the servant himself but it never seemed to exceeded beyond frustration as far as Arthur knew. He thought it almost impossible for Merlin to bear any ill will or hatred of this depth towards anyone. Here Arthur was proven wrong, and he hoped to never have that anger, as hidden as it was, directed at him.
"So." Arthur cleared his throat. "A Dragon Lord, huh?" Arthur changed the subject none to gracefully.
Merlin gave Arthur a strange look. He shifted nervously. "I always wanted to tell you about my father..." He said after a short pause. "It's just... I..." He sighed, pained. "Please don't think any less of me because of the man he was as I don't think differently of you because of who yours was."
Balinor. Arthur thought. Merlin's father. After everything it was kind of pathetic that he couldn't fully wrap his mind around it, and he wondered why it was so difficult for him, but then he realized what Merlin's parentage meant in the grand scheme of things... Oh God. He had told Merlin no man was worth his tears.
"God, Merlin. How can you stand to look at me?" Arthur bowed his head.
"Arthur," Merlin started, he waited until Arthur met his gaze over the floating orb of light. " We became friends, and you are not your fathers mistakes." Merlin smiled faintly.
"Damn it. Why protect the son of a man who exiled your father and murdered your people?"
"Because," Merlin frowned. Arthur watched the gold embers in his eyes flash again sending shivers down his spine. Merlin's otherworldly eyes pierced straight through him. "Your meant for greatness. What we hope to achieve is far greater than petty emotions." Merlin snorted. He then looked at Arthur. "Besides," He grinned ruefully. "You have kind of grown on me...like a fungus." Merlin winked at him.
Arthur ignore the insult with a roll of his eyes. Their relationship slowly become like it was before. As easy as breathing, Arthur thought strangely.
"My father ruined your fathers life." Arthur said softly. "Balinor brought the Great Dragon to Camelot. His actions left you fatherless just as much as magic has left me motherless. My fathers purge nearly condemned you to live in fear your whole life, and I was taught to fear magic..." Arthur ran his fingers through his hair. "What the hell is fate playing at?"
"Don't try to think about it," Merlin said sadly. "I don't." It was just another memory to haunt Merlin reminding him that both of his parents ultimately died because of him.
"And to think we would end up friends after all of that history," Arthur continued as if Merlin hadn't spoken. Merlin scowled, but there was no anger, only mild amusement. "It's just... it defies all laws of traditional social conduct." Arthur mused, making Merlin snort. "By that right we should be enemies."
"You wouldn't want me as an enemy, Arthur." Merlin said seriously.
"What?" Arthur scoffed. "You don't think I could defend my self?"
Merlin snorted. "Not against me." He said sadly, shaking his head.
"I have survived loads of battles and challenges. What makes you think I couldn't defend against you." Arthur demanded in good humor.
"Do you think you are alive because you know how to fight?" Merlin scoffed. "Your alive because of what I did to save you."
Merlin looked at Arthur. Shadows waged war inside his narrowed cobalt eyes. Slowly Merlin came back to the present truly focusing on Arthur sitting in front of him. Arthur regarded him cautiously as Merlin's cloudy eyes cleared just a little.
There was a long pregnant silence. "Then explain it to me. What have you done to save me?"
"Right..." Merlin gave him a had glare. "So you can have a confession of how many times I used magic within the walls of Camelot?
"Really, Merlin?" Arthur scoffed. "No. It is so I can better understand what you have had to sacrifice. "
Merlin thought a second to find where to where to start. Merlin was silent for so long Arthur wondered if he had lost him to his thoughts. "When I first arrived in Camelot I witnessed an execution." He murmured. "But that's not where it really began..."
Merlin remembered how frightened he was when that ax came down. All he could see was his head on the chopping block. He was even more terrified when Giaus found out about his magic Merlin he tried to talk himself out of it, but it was kind of obvious he had magic what with time slowing and a entire bed effortlessly dragged across the room if that wasn't obvious enough... Merlin thought for sure he would wake up one day and the guards would haul him away, but it never happened and he slowly began to trust the old man.
Arthur nodded. He remembered his father was particularly upset about that event.
"In the very beginning..." Merlin smiled a genuine smile that reached his eyes for the first time in Arthur didn't know how long. "I tried to punch you."
"Not a very smart idea." Arthur smirked.
Merlin shrugged and gave a small smirk of his own. "It was better that I stupidly landed myself in the dungeon and stalks." Merlin looked meaningfully at Arthur over the orb of light. "I did warn you I could take you apart with one blow."
"Is that what you meant?" Arthur laughed nervously. He swallowed as the information that Merlin could have killed Arthur that day if he had wanted. Fully sank in. "Good God."
"I was scolded by Giaus for using my magic in the mace-fight."
"You mean he scolded you for cheating." Arthur scowled as he remembered uncharacteristically clumsy he was that day. Suddenly Arthur gave Merlin a toothy grin. "I still beat you." He said smugly.
"Only because I let you, and I wasn't trying." Merlin chuckled. "I only wanted to deflate that fat head of yours a little but Giaus distracted me."
"Excuses get you no where in life, Merlin." Arthur said childishly. Merlin scowled but there was no malice in it. He scooted forward on the boulder and slid down to sit on the ground across from Arthur. The orb hovered between their folded legs.
"Do you remember what you said to me when you let me go?" Merlin asked. He couldn't take his eyes away from the swirling blue and white clouds inside the orb of light.
He may be an idiot, but he's a brave one... there's something about you Merlin. I can't put my finger on it.
There's something about you Merlin... Arthur has said this before. "Yes," Arthur mused to himself.
"Not long after that," Merlin said quietly. "I saved you with my magic for the first time." He looked at Arthur.
A fond smile spread across the Kings face as he remembered his shock at finding out it had been Merlin who had pulled him out of the daggers path and then his horror at his father appointed Merlin his manservant. Arthur grew to find Merlin was humble and insolent, loyal and trustworthy. A strange mix of Knight and idiot rolled into one buffoon named Merlin who happened to be the Kings best friend and brother. Someone who wasn't afraid of Arthur's title, or afraid to speak his mind. Someone willing to fight along side him.
"The first time." Arthur echoed as all of Merlin's words registered. "The other times?"
"That would take hours," Merlin said eyes shining. "And we-" Merlin looked over Arthur head to the mouth of the cave. The pitch black sky was now a navy blue. There was only maybe five more hours before the sun rose. "We don't have that long." I don't have that long. Merlin thought.
"The little details will come in time," Arthur assured. "Now is your time to brag, Merlin. Tell me your greatest accomplishments."
Merlin paused contemplating if he had the time to spare. He looked out the cave once more and sighed. What did it matter if he went back to Morgana's camp on time? Morgana was going to punish him either way just for taking her prisoners. Merlin nodded and waved his hand above the blue and white orb. The movement sent the smoke like substance swirling inside.
"Listen and watch." Merlin murmured as shape came to life inside the orb.
And with that the Once and Future King was taken on a trip to the past as seen through the unusual eyes of his servant. Arthur had to admit Merlin was a good story teller. Images of fire, lightening, smirking sorceresses, evil sorcerers, and terrifying beasts of nightmare were recreated within the floating orb right before Arthur's eyes. Merlin's every emotion was relived through him.
Nimueh, Merlin had killed her.
Cornelius Sigan and his gargoyle army. Merlin had been offered power once more but refused.
Two immortal armies. One of bone, which Morgana had falsely claimed to stop, and one of flesh and the cup of life, which Merlin had emptied of blood using the very sword Arthur held.
Next Arthur's swords history was told in full. Merlin seemed particularly reluctant to speak anymore on this 'Lady in the Lake.' and Arthur didn't press. His eyes flickered briefly up to Merlin's neck where his sword had scratched him, and noticed with relief that it had stopped bleeding. Arthur looked back to the orb just as the images of his sword in stone swirled and changed to Morgause's slow death. Another powerful sorceress Merlin had slayed. The image shifted again revealing the Dorocha, a dark enough topic.
Merlin, feeling the sudden need to lighten this darkened mood showed Arthur all the goblins, trolls and pixies that all plagued the castle and shared the numerous times he had fallen under a love spell. He shared Dragoon the Great's adventures. They laughed at some but there was also a lot of pain.
Slowly the images faded back into the swirling blue and white clouds. "I want you to know that I did all I could to save your father." Merlin looked at Arthur pleadingly. "It would have worked if Morgana hadn't ask Aggravain to place that amulet around his neck."
Silence.
"I tried everything within my power, Arthur." Merlin said softly. "I will understand if-"
"Thank you isn't enough is it?" Arthur spoke quietly cutting Merlin off mid-sentence. Merlin tensed. Out of all the words Merlin thought that Arthur would say he did not expect that.
"What?" Merlin asked. Arthur looked at him seriously.
"I understand now how magic isn't evil in itself." Arthur started, his brows drawing together. "Evil is in the hearts of man as you say." . He now saw magic as a gift a weapon to be used akin to a sword. "And like I said when we first started this journey. That I would do my best to listen and understand why you did what you did. For me," Arthur smiled. His eyes crinkled at the sides in genuine mirth. "This changes nothing. You are still my manservant, and best friend. You are a brother to me, Merlin."
Gratitude and brotherly love shone out from Merlin's multidimensional eyes filled with both wisdom, pain and absolute goofiness. Arthur regarded his incredible friend fondly.
"Arthur, that you have accepted me...it is already more than I could have hoped for." Merlin looked back at Arthur waited a moment and then smiled. " Thanks for not killing me."
"Don't think you getting off the hook that easy." Arthur gave him a measured look. "You lied to me. What else haven't you told me?"
Merlin didn't so much as blink. There was a lot he withheld. Starting with Morgana.
"Lets start with Morgana." Arthur said as if reading Merlin's thoughts.
As soon as Arthur mentioned his sister's name he watched Merlin suddenly shut down. It was rather disconcerting.
"The sun is going to rise in less than two hours." Merlin frowned ignoring Arthur's question entirely. "I should get going."
Arthur tensed. He didn't want him to go back to Morgana. What if she killed him before Merlin could get free? Arthur grit his teeth and shoved his bleeding heart to the the side and stood up to face this goodbye like a big boy. He watched as Merlin gather himself. He turned and pulled out his chain mail before he gathered the rest of the spilled supplies and shoved them into the bag.
Merlin shrugged the black leather and chain mail armor over his peasants shirt to keep from chafing. He stood up and put the bag over one shoulder. They were both damaged so it didn't matter which one. Merlin chewed his lip and gave one hard long look at the orb of light before it rose in the air and hovered above Merlin once more. Merlin grabbed the sword in one had and the dagger in his other and face Arthur.
The red deformed dragon on the breast of his armor burned bright in the dim light reminding Arthur of Merlin's brutal imprisonment.
"I'm sorry Morgana did this to you." Arthur said sadly. Merlin paused in his musings and looked back at Arthur.
"Its not your fault." Merlin murmured. He walked past Arthur into the cave towards James, Darrin and Ranoue and the warmth of the fire. Arthur caught up to him and matched him step for step.
Arthur didn't understand what sat between Morgana and Merlin that would have Morgana want to kill Merlin so much. Arthur and Merlin walked in silence a few seconds before Arthur had to ask.
"Why do you think she did what she did?" Arthur wondered. He didn't know what to feel when it came to Morgana. She was his sister and he loved her with everything he was, but she has done nothing but cause harm in her misguided quest for freedom.
"Why?" Merlin asked. He had been wondering that for a very long time. Merlin stopped, bowed his head and sighed. Why indeed, he thought. He turned to Arthur with a far away look. " I believe it is because some people are terrible human beings and terrible people do terrible things."
"Do you really believe she is such a horrible person?" Arthur asked. He didn't want to think Morgana was beyond reach.
Merlin looked at Arthur a long moment searching the Kings eyes for something lost to them both.
"Inside everyone there exists a dark side." Merlin explained. He looked away into the darkness of the cave. He could have sworn he saw something stir in the shadows. He ignored it for now and continued softly, alternating standing on one foot then the other. "Most people rise above it, but some people are consumed by it until there is nothing left but pure evil." He paused to gather his thoughts. His eyes moved from point to point as his words came together. "There are two natures that beat within us. The one that is vile, and the one that is blessed." He said slowly. Merlin paused in both word and motion. He looked back at Arthur brows drawn together in grief. The skin around his eyes were tight and his lips pressed together in a frown. "Morgana..." Merlin struggled with his words. "Morgana is not someone you can save. Some people are going to destroy themselves no matter how hard you try and save them." Merlin looked down the dark cavern. "So if your racking your brain trying to understand why she did what she did it just means you not one of those terrible people and to try and get into their mind would be an act of self mutilation."
They walked in silence the rest of the way. Merlin let Arthur gather his thoughts in peace. Merlin used this time to search the shadows. Whoever was there was gone now. They rounded a pile of large boulders and saw the small group near the fire. James and Darrin sat together near the fire keeping warm and Ranoue paced off to the side just out of the fires light.
"Merlin!" Darrin exclaimed. He stood up and walked around the fire. "I thought you had gone."
"Not yet." Merlin smiled. "I had to give you both something." He met up with Darrin. James stood and joined them.
Ranoue watched with a blank face unwilling to give anything away. Merlin already knew he held bitter feeling towards him, and would act on them is given the chance, and Merlin had warned him if he put Arthur's life in danger as Garret had Merlin would kill him.
Merlin handed his sword to James and the Dagger to Darrin. "Here" Merlin insisted. "I wont be around to help you anymore." Merlin said gruffly. He didn't expect to really see these two again. Merlin set the bag down. He knelt, untied the bags leather straps and searched for the letter he wrote and the folded parchment he took from Morgana. "Take these to Camelot." Merlin stood up. "Ride as fast as you can as soon as you are able. Ride east away from the army and double back around the the lake of Avalon to Camelot. Deliver this to the physician, Giaus." Merlin turned to Arthur. "Arthur," Merlin motioned him over. "Your Royal seal?"
Arthur, unsure of Merlin's plan, handed over the seal on a leather thong. "Thank you." Merlin murmured. He wrapped it around the letters and handed them over to James. "Giaus will know what to do next. Tell him that Emrys sent you. You will have a place with him if you wish. The kingdom will need someone with magic to look after her. I hope it can be the two of you."
James and Darrin nodded. "Thank you Emrys." They bowed low showing their respect.
Merlin wasn't talking to them as a servant, but as their leader. Merlin nodded once. He turned away from them, his eyes settling briefly on Ranoue who leaned against the cave wall. The fire shone from his eyes like hells rage. "Walk me out Arthur?" Merlin asked looking away from Ranoue's heated glare.
"Yeah," Arthur nodded. He pressed his lips together to keep his opinion inside. He wasn't about to tell the most powerful warlock ever that he found this plan of his ludicrous.
Side by side they made their way out of the cave. Merlin found it almost comical the way Arthur went out of his way to keep his opinions to himself. Arthur never had an issue insulting him before, why would he hesitate now.
Once at the mouth of the cave they paused. The rain poured down with no end in sight. It must have started coming down only moments ago because it want raining the last time he looked outside. Of course it had to start just before he was to leave. The silence stretched between them. Again something stirred in the shadows behind Arthur. Silver glinted in the moon light that managed to get through the rain. Ranoue. Merlin sighed internally.
"Just spit it out Arthur. I wont bit." Merlin joked.
Arthur gave him a side long look. "Come on, nothing has changed." Merlin paused. Arthur still hesitated. Merlin frowned. "I would never harm you Arthur, especially for speaking your mind."
"I think going back to Morgana is a bad idea." Arthur said having made up his mind. "Your already here and away from her, why not stay and continue on with us. Were all going the same way."
Merlin watched the rain for a moment letting the tranquil sound of pounding water saturate him in the here and now. "Going back means she wont pursue you." Merlin said. He looked over at Arthur who watched the storm coming down. " She wants you dead," Merlin smiled. "But she wants to keep me like a pet. Right now I'm just a rabid dog running loose."
"How will you be able to hold off her pursuit." Arthur inquired.
"I said it was a devils bargain, Arthur." Merlin smiled faintly. "I'll see you again." He shoved him in the shoulder. Arthur nodded silently not trusting his voice. Merlin smiled at Arthur and clapped him on the shoulder. "And if I don't see you in this life, I'll see you in the next."
Arthur scowled. Merlin laughed. "Go back to the fire Arthur. You look like your freezing."
"Yeah, because its cold. Aren't you?"
"Of course I am, I just chose to ignore it." Merlin murmured. Looking back out at the rain unwilling to let Arthur see the war of light and darkness he waged within his eyes.
"Whatever." Arthur muttered. They stayed like that in companionable silence for a few more seconds.
"Don't worry so much Arthur. It's all going to play out on its own no matter what we do." Merlin sighed.
"Then whats the point of you leaving to go back to Morgana." Arthur challenged.
"A long time ago I promised to protect you. I plan on keeping that promise, or die at your side."
"Don't let this day be it, Merlin."Arthur looked over at him. "Try to look after yourself." Arthur worried. Merlin caught Arthur's worried gaze and nodded.
"I'll do my best."
"I'm going to go get warm. Don't get yourself killed." Arthur said seriously.
"Arthur, watch your back, and... don't hesitate to kill. Even if its me." Merlin said and turned away from him to look out at the storm. Arthur left after after a moment of contemplation.