Warnings: Violence, sexual content, adult situations and more- deal with it. There is more to come.

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, or any of the characters. If I did there would be a season six, seven, eight, and so on, and a movie, of course.

Spoilers: Possibly.

A/N: i know its been a long time since i posted anything. life got a hold of me and its teeth were sharper than ever. Bad news... we have just entered an alternate reality. We now have a jester for president. :'( But there is good news. We made it to another year and already we are witnessing history. The D.C woman's march was amazing. I love the hats! The signs! It was fantastic!

A/N: Please Review and be kind. ;) Sorry for any errors, it becomes difficult after editing it so many times. It becomes a lot like a word repeated over and over again until it no longer makes any sense... Okay. So the story is getting darker. Sorry. Can't help it. I like the dark sexy stuff. It will most likely get more intense.

Come on people give me some love and review. 3

Chapter 31

Waiting on Eternity

Morgana knelt in front of Merlin. He hadn't moved since Theron the Giant disappeared with Darrin's severed head and the last shred of hope. Morgana comforted him with a gentle voice and blunt words. Never once thinking he would lash out at her with her so close. Merlin's tears were done and dried, yet still she comforted him. She seemed unaware of his stormy mood. He fell further and further into the dark whole Morgana had just figuratively shoved him down with no end in sight.

"I know you have been obedient Merlin." Morgana tilted her head to the side and brushed his hair from his eyes. "At least as much as your nature allows." Morgana consented. She dragged her hand down his cheek, his short beard prickly to the touch. He must have shaved recently. She liked it. It complemented his roguish nature. Merlin turned away from her. He looked at the scattered glass on the tent floor from the potion bottle she had slammed into his chest. She frowned. "You have refrained from killing Mordred and I applaud your restraint." Her eyes flitted over his face. "But," Morgana admitted ruefully. Her hand ruffly cupped his chin forcefully bringing his gaze to meet her's. "I need you to forsake your restraint, and for that I will give you a gift."

"What kind of gift could you possible give me," Merlin looked blankly at her. Her fingers tightened on his chin. He barely registered the bruising pain over the swirling seduction of the potion poisoning his system. He felt the bond forming. It was like a string or rope tied his soul to hers, and when he shied away from the bond it forcefully tugged him back. It felt like tiny little blades fondling his soul. It was Morgana's soul caressing his. Her darkness suffocated his light.

"The gift of Mordred's life." Morgana smiled. She watched his thoughts struggle behind his deep, dark and bottomless eyes. She felt his soul shy from the bond. He still fought her. Her mouth twisted. She told herself that it didn't bother her. That he will soon be fully bonded with her and there would be nothing she couldn't ask of him. After all, the caster has the power over the bonded.

Merlin tensed. He had a feeling that she would put this in his path. She had nothing left to bargain with except Mordred and Cedric, and now she just offered him one of his hearts desires. How could he refuse? And how could he accept? Merlin watched her closely. He could see the wheels turning behind her dangerous moss green eyes.

Morgana needed a life of a magic user to complete the bonding. Mordred's life would be it and empower it by giving Morgana more access to Merlin's will. Something she seemed to already have by the feel of that rope in his soul tightening around his neck. He already wanted to do it. Now, he almost needed to kill Mordred, and the only thing keeping him from taking her up on her offer was that it was Morgana who asked Merlin to do it and there was always a catch. A price. In moments like this Merlin was force to acknowledge that he wasn't all powerful. Being 'immortal' didn't mean he couldn't be vulnerable to everyday curses and disasters. He had faults and weaknesses like any other human being and a potion as strong and ancient as this one would require an equal, or grater amount of magic to even crippled it. Now that it was activated and has entered his system, there really was no hope. At least until he could find a way to break such an ancient spell, or at least block its effects.

Merlin looked at her strangely. "You want me to kill your pet?" Merlin asked slowly.

"Yes," Morgana said simply.

"Why not kill him yourself if you want him dead, Morgana?" Merlin asked, completely exhausted.

Morgana sat back on her heels. "What if I presented you with another ultimatum?" She sat up on her knees and leaned in to whisper in his ear. Her breath caressed the side of his neck causing goosebumps to ripple down his spine. "Kill Mordred," She paused for effect. Merlin glared at her. He could guess where this was going. "Or I will find Arthur and kill him slowly and painfully, exactly like your mother." Morgana reached out to him but he knocked her hand away. He ruffly grabbed her shoulders and shook her, hard. Merlin sat up on his knees. He towered over her.

Merlin growled huskily. He leaned into her forcing Morgana to lean her head back away from him. He grit his teeth. The pain the potion inflicted was excruciating. He actually felt a little queasy. He didn't know if it was the effects of the potion, or just being near her and not having being able to keep fate from destroying everything. He was starting to feel the potion forcing him to feel a strange need for her. A need to please, to obey, to follow, but he fought it, and he'll keep fighting it until his very last breath.

"You keep trying to force my loyalty. I'm done. I've said it before. I will not help you enslave me-"

"Yes," Morgana interrupted. She smiled. "But do you really mean that?" Morgana purred as she leaned into him causing his grip to tighten on her upper arms. No doubt creating some nasty bruises. "I thought you loved me." Morgana smirked. Merlin stood up, dragging Morgana with him.

"That's the thing, Morgana, loving you has been the most excruciating form of self harm." Merlin swallowed back the pian as the potion kicked up a notch and sent fire racing through his veins. He grunted. " I no longer hold any obligations to you, your heart or your cause. If you succeed in trapping me," Merlin groaned. He let go of Morgana, shoving her away from him. " I will still stand between you and Arthur." Merlin panted, his breath slightly labored. "You have no power over me."

Morgana stalked him, circling him like a vulture circled its dieing prey. "You sure about that?" She hissed. She kicked him in the back of the knee. His legs went out from under him. His knees cracked onto the hard dirt ground. He looked down at the floor. It looked extremely comfortable right now.

"Look at me," Morgana commanded. "Look at me." She snapped again when he ignored her. She yanked on that rope that tied their souls together. The potion connected them just enough to allow Morgana to access a part of his will power. His head snapped in her direction. He gulped. This was not good.

"When the time comes and I meet my brother on the battle field of Camlann, blood will run like a river through Camelot and if you continue to stand in my way, My Love, I will make sure your hand will be the hand that will start the flood- beginning with Arthur." She leaned down to his level to look into his eyes. "And if if you keep pushing me, Merlin, I will have no choice but to end you as well. "

"I don't know, Morgana," Merlin looked up at her with an almost loving gaze. His eyes dark and clouded. He swallowed. It was getting exceedingly difficult to separate his wants from hers. He fell onto his back too exhausted to keep upright. With his arms and legs sprawled he looked over at Morgana as she moved around him. His head spun. He felt like he was falling down into an extremely dark, extremely deep and solitary hole and there was nothing to grab onto to halt his fall. "Would you be able to go through with it?" Merlin wondered aloud. "Can you kill the man you love?" Merlin gave Morgana a water smile but his vision started to blur.

Someone walked in behind Morgana but he was unable to tell who. It was like a layer of water coated his sight. He let his head fall back onto the ground and looked up at the ceiling of the tent. His mind and body letting go. Morgana's green feline eyes floated above him in his mind, her smoky voice flowed into his soul calling him to join her in oblivion. He felt a brush of cold and then he was weightless.

"Put him on the bed in the corner," Morgana motioned to her servant to place him on the cot next to her bed. "Good, now leave us. No one comes in or out." Morgana barked too someone nearby.

Merlin lifted his head to watch her. He tried to move, but it was useless. He was glued the cot. He watched Morgana through a cloudy gaze as she came closer. Morgana smiled almost sadly. It was surreal sometimes to remember how far they have fallen, how much they lost and what they could have had if the world had not been against them.

She noticed Merlin's resignation and let her hold on him go allowing him to move freely. He still didn't feel normal but it was a start. "You'll feel better, you know," Morgana assured. She sat on the edge of his cot and looked down at Merlin. "Once the spell is finished of course."

"Of course," Merlin sighed and let his head fall back into the cot. Resigned, he turned his head on the pillow and ignored Morgana. No matter what she threw at him, he needed to keep some sliver of himself, and to him, that meant not killing Mordred on Morgana's order, and as much as he hated to give up the opportunity, he felt that it was the right move to make.

Morgana watched Merlin as he glared at the ceiling of the tent as if he could destroy it with a look, which knowing him, he probably could. He chewed his bottom lip, obviously stressed. Morgana's stomach flipped and fluttered. She almost wish things could go back to before... before Morgana found out she had magic, before Morgues got her claws into her... sometimes she wished she could go back to before Merlin stole her heart, and that thought actually caused her spirit to ache. It was maddening. You always hear about soul mates, which was what Merlin seemed to be, but no one ever tells you about soul enemies, which was what Emrys has proven to be.

"Do you remember who you were before the world told you what you were supposed to be?" Morgana suddenly wondered out loud. Merlin didn't think she meant to sound so lost and vulnerable, specially in front of him, but it comforted him to know she was still human underneath all that hate, bitterness and hostility.

Merlin kept gazing at the ceiling debating weather or not to answer. He turned to Morgana and looked up at her silently for several tense moments before he turned away and look back and ignored her, making up his mind. He didn't feel like answering. Not because he didn't have one, but because he didn't remember much of before he came to Camelot. All he could remember was Morgana, Arthur and Albion. There was no Emrys before he came to Camelot, and his home in Ealdor was too painful to remember because of his mother. All he had now was what he was. Emrys.

"I'm taking a nap till we march out." Merlin sighed. He faced away from her on his side purposely turning his back on her. "Until then. I'm dead to the world. Particularly to you."

He did his best to block out the tug of the bond from his mind and tried to think of a solution to a problem that had no solution. In order to figure out a way to fight against Morgana's spell he needed a relatively clear head. He needed to complete the spell to stop the pain and suffering of being incomplete. Only then could he find a way to block the spell and then find away to break it. Stupid and naive maybe but it was the only option, other than to kill Morgana which then in turn killed Merlin, and that was no longer an option. He had no choice but to wait and he felt in that moment he got a glimpse of eternity and it nearly drove him mad. Magic is an honor until it feels like shackles.

Morgana knew Merlin wouldn't take her up on the offer. He was extremely suborn that way. She would have to force his hand. If Morgana was being honest with herself, and herself alone, she couldn't kill Mordred. He had sentimental value in a way. She didn't love him, but he did fill a void that Merlin wouldn't. She turned on her heel and went to track down Mordred herself. Theron was taking to long to find the sod.

As soon as Morgana turned to leave Merlin closed his eyes and let his head fall back to the cot. He listened to Morgana's retreating footsteps. His magic was vibrating within him. Fighting against the spell that pushed in on him, smothering him into unconsciousness. Merlin's magic flare up signaling that something was off. He needed to stay awake. The darkness closed in on him and he couldn't open his eyelids. His body felt heavy and pinned down, yet he was spinning out of control. His mind in a nauseating vortex he desperately fought against it. He needed to stay awake. He needed to...and darkness swallowed him whole.