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I love each and every one of you and value your support more than I can say.

So...are you ready to meet Edward? ;)

Chapter Three

Edward

Numb.

Feeling numb is normal. Grief is human. You can't and shouldn't run from it.

Scoffing, I sip from my decanter and gaze out at the rolling waves. What does Kendra know about it, anyway?

Thunder rumbles way off in the distance, storm clouds gathering on the horizon.

Grief is human. You can't and shouldn't run from it.

"Bullshit. I can and I will," I mumble, my voice rough.

Running from my bullshit is what I've done for the past six years, after all.

A vague sense of being watched steals over me. Sweeping my eyes over the shore, I spot Mr. Ellison hobbling along the promenade. He lifts his hand in a wave when he sees me looking.

My half-assed salute amuses him, his weathered laugh riding the wind.

Tossing back the last of my bourbon, I keep an eye on Mr. Ellison until he's safely through the gate leading into his yard. He's been my neighbor ever since I moved in; I made a promise to his late wife to watch out for him before she died.

Six years ago, I broke a promise that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I'll never willingly break another.

My phone pings from the kitchen, but I'm not in the mood to hear Kelly pretending to have an issue at the restaurant. It'll just be an excuse to check on me; well-meaning, idle chit-chat is nowhere near my to-do list this evening. Only two things sit on that list—drinking to the bottom of the bourbon bottle and keeping my mind distracted from the mess that is my life.

~ oOo ~

It isn't until I wake up the following morning and see twelve notifications on my cell that I remember…

Bella came home yesterday.

A pang of guilt worms its way through me. Charlie and Renee have been so excited for their daughter to return from England, and I know they planned to come into Burger Co. with her and their grandsons last night. I said I'd be there. My thumb hesitates over the tag from Benjamin before finally pressing down. Despite the dull throb of my bourbon-induced headache, I smile at the picture. Benjamin, Bella, Rosalie, and Everly have their arms thrown around each other, their smiles wide and happy as they stand in front of my bar. Benjamin uploaded it, but he tagged my business page; it's the only one I use regularly.

After liking and sharing the image to Burger Co.'s page, I take another look, only then realising that Bella's once-brown hair is now a rich, vibrant magenta. Not pink but also not purple, it's...pretty. Long and wavy, just like it used to be, but far more colorful. It suits her. Adulthood suits her, too.

Rubbing my eyes, I toss my legs over the side of the couch and sit up properly, attempting to reconcile the tiny teenager that left America with this woman. She's partly hidden behind a table, but the parts of her I can see have definitely...matured.

Frustration and guilt war within me as the morning wood that had been fading away responds with eagerness to the beautiful curves in front of me.

I'm drooling over my best friend's daughter, now? "Fucking hell, Cullen. Get a grip," I mutter, glancing at the rest of the notifications—a few on Facebook, messages from Jones, Kelly, and Lily checking on me, and a voicemail from Renee both asking how I am and wondering why I bailed after agreeing to be there when she and Charlie brought their whole family to dinner—before tossing my phone onto the cushion beside me and heading to the kitchen.

I'm gonna need a bucket of coffee before I face Renee later, that's for sure.

~ oOo ~

Sure enough, disappointment shrouds Renee when she opens the door a few hours later. Her eyes brighten as they take in the bouquet of flowers in one hand and the box of chocolates—her favorites—in the other. "You're forgiven." Tugging me into her arms for a hug that's far harder than her slender frame would have you believe her capable of, she murmurs, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I tell her gruffly, giving her back a pat and managing a smile when she pulls back. "For you."

"Thank you. They're beautiful, and you know I love my chocolate seashells."

I do know that, which is why I stopped at the store on the way over here.

"Come on in, then." I hadn't noticed it before, but there's an added brightness to her smile today. An extra note of happiness in her voice.

The reason, or one of them, for both beams at me from the breakfast bar as I follow her mom into the kitchen.

"Hi, Edward."

Before I can respond—or make sense of the way my chest clenches with the sound of my name, my real name, falling from her lips—Bella is slipping off the stool and winding her arms around my waist.

That's right. She's a hugger, like Renee. I remember now. Unlike her mom, she's a short little shit. My hands rest carefully on her back, the warmth of her cheek against my chest not at all unwelcome, surprisingly. An instinctive smile curls my lips as she steps back, her gray eyes the exact same mischievous gaze I remember. It's been years since I've seen those smiling eyes. The last time she was here, I was out of town. The time before that…

There wasn't much smiling going on.

"You made it home, then. Did you get lost? It's been a while."

Snorting, Bella hops back onto her stool and continues eating her bowl of fruit salad. Her expression is soft as she glances at Renee, who can't hide her glee for shit. "It was time," Bella simply says, spearing some watermelon.

Sucking in a deep breath, I take a quick look around the room. I can see evidence of Bella's kids, the grandsons I've heard so much about but never met, but they're nowhere to be seen. "Did you forget a few things? Probably yay big, likely loud and terrors like their mother…"

Renee laughs. "Oh, don't. They're very well-behaved, actually."

She misses Bella's very softly whispered for now, but I don't. Shooting her a wink, I take great pleasure in the rosy flush that tints her cheeks. It almost matches the faded ends of her hair, where the pigment isn't as strong.

"They're next door," Bella explains. "Ben and Angela volunteered to let them help Danny trash his playroom. Plus, I have about a million things to sort out and house hunting to start—"

"And I've told you, sweetheart," Renee stands behind her daughter and squeezes her shoulders. "There's no rush. You and the boys are welcome here for as long as you'd like to stay. Stay forever, if you want to."

Bella and I both laugh, but we also know Renee is deadly serious. She'd happily have all of her kids and grandkids under one roof if they'd go for it. When Benjamin and Angela bought the house right next door, the next best thing to staying right here, she was over the moon. Having Bella and her sons back, Renee will be beside herself for weeks. There's nothing she likes more than having lots of people to fuss over.

Maybe with Bella and her boys around, Renee will be distracted enough that she won't be mothering me so much for a while. Well-meaning or not, she can be a bit much when you just want peace and quiet.

Or not. She reminds me that I've lost weight as she rounds the counter and picks up the coffee pot. "Coffee, EC?"

"Please." It's my fifth so far this morning, but it's very much needed if I'm going to make it through the day. The dull throb of a hangover threatens, but I've lived with a near-constant headache for the past six years. It won't kill me.

"God, I forgot. EC…Everyone still calls you that?"

Offering Bella a wry half-smile, I nod and lean back against the counter. "You started it. Do you remember?"

"Of course!"

.

.

Fucking ties. I knew I should have asked Kate to tie it for me before I left Utah. I could have just loosened it and lifted it over my head to put back on now.

Finally deciding it's probably as good as it's gonna get, I suck in a deep breath and look up at the building in front of me.

Swan's Nest In The Bay.

I've done my research. There are six hotels in the Swan's Nest franchise—so far all on the East coast except one. The one I've worked at as a porter for the last two years is in my home state, Utah. Mr. Charlie Swan is the founder and CEO. He's self-made and now easily the second richest guy in Jackson Bay after the founding family. His company prides itself on good, honest work and great customer service, but being a porter or a waiter isn't my calling. I want to get to the top. I want to work my way up, become Mr. Swan's right hand, learn from him, then start my own business.

But I need to get a job here first. Baby steps and all that. I may only be eighteen, but I'm willing to graft for what I want—a future for me and Kate, hopefully here in Jackson Bay. It's a lot different to my hometown, but I love it so far.

A smiling blonde greets me when I step through the doors. She motions for me to wait a moment while she finishes helping an elderly couple check out, but I'm too nervous to take the chair she indicates, so I stand over by the windows overlooking the bay instead.

"Are you here for an interview?"

Holy—

"Sorry." The little girl who scared the ever-loving shit out of me grins brightly. "Daddy says I shouldn't sneak. Did I make you jump?"

"A little," I admit, raking a hand through my hair.

The kid, who can't be older than six or seven, grins a big, gap-toothed smile. "Are you here for an interview? Daddy sent me to get the next guy." As she pulls a pink Post It from her overalls pocket, I see my name written in big letters. "Are you...E Cullen?"

"I am, indeed." Suddenly, as she gestures for me to follow her, I realize this girl must be Mr. Swan's kid. I can't help but ask… "Have lots of people come for interviews with your dad?"

She shrugs. "Nah. You're number three, I think."

Number three. Huh. Not too much competition, then.

It occurs to me that it's odd for a kid her age to be running around alone in a hotel, then she waves at the receptionist on her way past and greets her by name. As we walk through the 'Staff Only' doors, she calls out to two porters taking a sandwich break. Again, she knows their names. Then, when we reach a small waiting room at the end of the hall, another receptionist behind a desk smiles and calls her over. I guess she spends a lot of time here to know everyone.

"Well done, Bella. You found him."

"What shall I do now, Lisa?"

After telling Bella to hang around and wait for her dad, Lisa turns to me and directs me to a club chair near another set of windows.

Just feet away from the man I'm desperate to impress, I can't sit. Instead, I stand in front of the glass overlooking the bay. I met Mr. Swan once. He was visiting the hotel in Utah—Swan's Nest On Salt Lake—and I was the guy chosen to show him to his room. He was kind and didn't laugh at me when I stuttered through all the usual info, forgetting that he would already know it all. When I admitted that I wanted to be like him someday, he patted me on the shoulder and told me hard work and perseverance would get me there.

I can only hope he was right and wonder if he'll remember me, the nervous kid who swore when I apologized for the boring check-in speech.

I grin when Bella skips over and cocks her head.

"Do you need help with that?" She asks, nodding at my tie as I mess with it again.

My eyebrows lift. "You know how to do ties?"

"Sure. Stand there."

Lisa laughs. "You may as well do as she says. She's a force of nature just like her father."

Blindly following Bella's instructions, I find myself standing beside the chair while she hops up to stand on the cushions to sort out my tie.

"I help Daddy with his tie all the time. Momma taught me how."

"That's cool."

"S'this your initials? EC?"

Nodding, I watch as she trails her finger over the embroidered letters at the bottom of the tie. "Yeah, for 'Edward Cullen.'"

For having such small hands, she expertly manhandles my tie into submission and has it looking perfect just as the phone on Lisa's desk rings.

Offering me a reassuring smile, Lisa nods for me to head into the office. "Go ahead. Good luck."

Sucking in a shaky break, I steel myself. Bella jumps neatly from the seat and beams at me. "Knock 'em dead, EC. Just be confident and cool and Daddy will appreciate it."

.

.

She was right, too. I reminded myself of her advice throughout the interview and by the time I walked out of the office thirty minutes later, she was waiting to give me a high five when Charlie told Lisa to set me up because I had the job. He did remember me, as it happens.

And the nickname—EC—stuck.

"Gosh, that was a long time ago now," Bella muses.

I quickly do the math. "Twenty years this year."

"Is that how long it's been?" Renee asks, handing me a cup of coffee and a slice of homemade apple pie—'because you've lost weight.' "I can't believe we've known each other for two decades."

Neither can I. In that time, so much has changed. Swan's Nest has gone from strength to strength. Charlie has become my best friend rather than my boss. He and his family are my family, too. I went from being a porter at his Jackson Bay hotel to owning my own successful business. I worked my way up through the ranks over time, learning from Charlie all the while. Then with his tutelage and guidance, Cullen's Gourmet Burger Co. flourished in its early days and continues to do well now, years later.

Without him, I wouldn't be where I am now. There's no doubt about it, not in my mind at least.

And without Renee, I wouldn't have to run a bunch of miles three times a week to get rid of my homemade-goods weight.

~ oOo ~

After another mug of coffee and a brief catch up, I heave myself off the bar stool beside Bella and say my goodbyes. Renee reminds me about brunch on Saturday—as if I could forget—and walks me out, goading me into promising I'll be there. She knows I never break a promise, not anymore, but the prospect of spending a ton of time pretending to be over-the-moon happy just doesn't appeal.

"I've got a lot going on at the restaurant at the moment, but I'll do my best, okay?"

She eyes me shrewdly but doesn't argue, so I offer Bella another 'goodbye,' plant a kiss on Renee's cheek, and hurry my ass to my Jeep before she can ask any questions. Guilt worms its way through me as I head toward Burger Co. I'm happy for them. I'm happy Bella's home. I know how much it's killed Charlie and Renee having her halfway around the world all these years. It only got worse when she had her sons and they had to make do with visits here and there when their schedules allowed them.

Besides that, I can't deny that it's good to see Bella. It's been years, and I've known her since she was just seven years old and knew how to tie a tie better than I did.

The memory of her pigtail-framed grin and bright gray eyes as she nicknamed me 'EC' makes me smile as I pull up at a stoplight. She was barely older than her eldest boys are now. Far from being the bouncy little kid who showed me around the hotel that first day, she's now both a mom and most definitely all grown up.

As the day progresses, the energy I used up socializing this morning leaves me with little patience and a short temper. The new server bears the brunt of it as I deal with one fuck-up after another before finally throwing in the towel and retreating to my office where it's quiet and no fuckin' idiots dare to bother me.

Tap, tap.

Or not.

"Fuck's sake. Come in."

The door slides open, a very pregnant Tanya waddling her way into the room. She grimaces as she lowers herself into the seat in front of the desk without me telling her to.

Shaking my head, I lean back in my chair and crack my neck. "Make yourself at home," I tell her.

"I will, thanks." Blowing out a long breath, Tanya gives her bump a pat. "We need to talk cover."

It takes every bit of willpower I have to stop myself from whining "I don't want to" like a toddler. Every single bit. I settle for grumbling a few curses and pulling a face; she rolls her eyes and laughs in response.

"I know the prospect of losing me scares you, EC, but it's tough. I can hardly be here with a newborn, can I?"

With a shrug, I petulantly point out that she could. She doesn't work in the kitchen and she wore her first three daughters in slings for the first year anyway. She could serve and wear this baby, too.

"Anyway…" So we're ignoring that. Great. "Have you advertised yet? This girl could come any day now."

"No, I haven't. I still have time, don't worry."

Truth is, I've been procrastinating—and Tanya likely knows it. She's my best server. When I'm not here, there's nobody I trust more to keep front of house running smoothly or to kick the kitchen crew's butts when they step out of line. And now she's taking off to have baby number four with my head chef, which means I'll lose him for a few weeks, too.

"EC, look. Why don't you let me help? I know some people who might be interested in summer work. Or, hell, why don't you let Jones step up? He knows what he's doing."

"I'd need another KP, though," I point out, not completely against the idea, just mostly. "I'd rather have the least amount of changes as possible."

Her icy blue eyes are bright with amusement as she shakes her head at me. In the corner of my eye, I see her hand shoot to her bump and the ever-so-slight protrusion of a foot or an elbow. My stomach rolls. Standing so quickly my chair squeaks, there's no missing the knowing expression on Tanya's face before she heaves herself out of her seat and makes for the door.

"I'll leave you in peace, but think about it, EC. I know a couple of people who'd be grateful of the work even if just for the summer while I'm off."

"I'll bear it in mind."

She knows from my tone that I'm done talking about it. Tanya was my first real friend here, and my first hire. The first employee of Cullen's Gourmet Burger Co. besides me. We've known each other for years, so she's well aware of how I function. It's nice to have that. She can tell when I'm done talking, but equally, Tanya always knows when to push.

This time, she's evidently decided it's not worth it. I'm glad.

With my office blessedly empty once more, I can't resist a peek. Sitting back in my chair with a stiff spine and a burn in the back of my eyes that never really quits, I slowly slide open the top drawer of my desk and suck in a deep breath. The back of the frame stares up at me. Taunting. Tempting. Terrifying.

When my fingertips reach out to touch the pink velvet backing, I tense and snatch my hand away, slamming the drawer shut with the other.

No. Not today.

I don't have the strength to say 'goodbye' again tonight.

Huge hugs and thank yous to annaharding, Thats-So-Alex, LadyLoonie, Anakinsmom, and LizziePaige for your help. You ladies rock and I heart you.