As always, thank you to my alpha, cls2256. She is magnificent. Also, thanks to those continuing with the story! Let me know your thoughts with a review.
I apparate into the living room, crying. I love my job, but some days law enforcement isn't for everyone. Today was one of those days; a child was murdered. I collapse on the couch and hear an audible pop. Suddenly there are muscular arms winding around me as he pulls me into his lap.
"I heard about your case and came straight to your place when you weren't in your office." I look up to white blonde hair and steel grey eyes.
I gasp as I fly upright in my hospital bed. A dream? Or a memory? I try to remember more, but again, nothing comes forward. I lay back and smell something that seems like a memory that I can't place my finger on. I find the source of smell; my pillow. The scent is intoxicating and creates an ache of longing. Longing for what, though? A medi-witch enters with breakfast and another to check my vitals.
"Oh- I didn't mean to interrupt," I hear from the doorway. It's him. Draco.
"May I come in?" he asks shyly. I study his face searching for what, I'm unsure of.
"Yes, that's fine," I say breathily. A sense of calm washes over me in an unexplainable manner. As he approaches my bedside, I'm enchanted by his eyes. Grey. I remember his eyes were cold and hard, yet now they're full of warmth and life. The medi-witch's departure pulls me out of his eyes. The silence stretches between us, and I wonder again how my life got to this point. Marrying a man who tormented my friends and me in school, an ex-death eater— someone I didn't trust. Where do we go from here? He steps closer, and I'm shocked to smell the scent from my pillow. My heart aches again.
"Harry told me you – you found your ring… and your necklace."
His voice sounds as if he's pleading, and his eyes are studying me intensely.
"I did," I reply, my voice small.
I bolster my confidence and demand to know how I came to be engaged to the likes of him. Hurt crosses his face, and I find myself reaching for him before I realize what I'm doing. A part of me that I don't know wants to never be the cause of that look again, but logically, I hold myself back.
"You're to be released tomorrow. I understand if you wish to be released to Harry and Ginny, but I'd like you to come home. To our home.. with me."
He looks away as an emotion crosses his face, and when he looks back to me, I can see the pleading in his eyes.
"And.. you want me? To come with you?"
The idea sounds absurd. He'd sooner want a blast-ended skrewt.
"I'd love nothing more than. This isn't the past, Hermione. I know, to you, this is all confusing and unexplainable, but you love me too. Your body remembers me. Your subconscious remembers me. The kind of love and devotion we have can't be erased by anything. Please, come home. I love you and have loved you for six years. I don't want to lose you."
"Malfoy— Draco, I just –" I pause, taking a breath and steadying my nerves "I don't know you. I think I should go with Harry and Ginny."
Instantly, I want to take it back. He staggers back a step, and his mouth pops open slightly. His face sags, and his grey eyes appear hollow. He turns,
"I understand."
I wring my hands and notice I'm still wearing my engagement ring. A tear splashes onto the back of my hand. I don't know him. This is the right thing. This Hermione in 2009 may have been in love with him, but as far as she was concerned, in 2001, she and Draco were still in two separate worlds.
The door opening catches my eyes as Ginny races into my room. Her hair is as fiery as Ron, which sends a pang into the pit of my stomach. She rushes to hug me, inquiring how I'm feeling.
"I'm fine,"
"Really." I add as she quirks her eyebrow at me.
"Harry told me that you didn't take.. certain aspects of things well."
She eyes me carefully examining my face, which I quickly draw to a blank and feel my mind clear almost of its own accord. When did I learn Occlumency?
"I- I'm confused.. and processing." I start. "Honestly, I'm fine. Just trying to place things where they go. If only I could find things."
I smile sheepishly. "If you only knew, Hermione."
I clench my teeth. If I knew then this wouldn't be an issue or even a conversation.
"I don't know what I want to. I can't stand not knowing something, but if this makes sense by knowing then, I'm not completely sure I want to."
I attempt to change the subject and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.
"How was your game? Harry said the Harpies won."
"You must seriously be struggling if you want to talk quidditch!"
"Okay, not particularly, but it was the first thing that came to mind." I laugh, heartily. "Tell me about you and Harry then."
She regales the details of their life as of late. How they got married, and I was her maid of honor, the house they bought in Godric's Hollow, of my nephew, James, how after almost 20 years of friendship, we all still get together and make time for each other. I swallow hard, my hands sweating.
"And, Ron? How is he?"
Instantly, I regret asking as a look of sadness mixed with pity briefly flashes across her face.
"He dates here and there. He quit the Ministry. He's running the Hogsmeade shop for George."
She pauses for a moment then blurts out. "Y'all weren't good together." She takes a deep breath. "I mean, you weren't right for each other. You always wanted different things. He's still sort of bitter about things, mostly because of who you picked. He's also why you and Draco haven't married yet. After Ron, you vowed to not jeopardize your dreams instead of a relationship. He's my brother and I love him but when it doesn't work, it just doesn't."
I chew my bottom lip processing everything. Sorting pieces of information in my mind. Ginny takes my hand.
"You're my best friend, Hermione. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, but we are here for you, and you'll figure it out. You always do."
"Thanks, Ginny."
We chat idly laughing and catching up about the mundane changes that my mind has blocked away from me.
Blinding light interrupts my sleep, and I pull the covers over my head with a groan. My mouth is dry, and my head is pounding.
"I don't know you." Still echoes in my head.
The covers are yanked from over me, and I scowl at a too perky face looking down at me.
"It's well past noon, and this won't do, Draco. It's Sunday, anyhow." Astoria chirps. I sneer at her as she continues. "I know this isn't ideal, but I'm here to help."
She shoves a hangover potion and a pepper-up potion into my hands, and I drink them reluctantly, knowing it's no use to fight. I grab my wand and reclose the curtains with a look of contempt on my face.
"Okay, I'm up." I drawl out as she pulls me out of bed and begins shoving me into the bathroom with the door closing behind me. I try not to think of Hermione, now with Harry and Ginny, as the water runs over me. Scorching my back, just how she liked it. Proving it challenging to keep her off my mind, I wonder if they've told her yet. She probably assumes we lived in the Manor together. I shut the water off and grab my towel, wandering into our bedroom. Does she know we live on the same street as the Potter's? I head downstairs into the library where I know I'll find Astoria, still so fucking cheery. She straightens my grey dress robes, and sighs.
"See, that's better. I loathe this is happening to you, Draco, but you can't lock yourself away."
Her hand rests on my arm, and I drop my arm, breaking the contact. "She was my friend, too." she states.
Her eyes flash, and I grunt in response. She reaches out to touch me again and hesitates as I steel my face and turn to my liquor cabinet for another firewhiskey. I hear the floo sound as I finish pouring my drink, contemplating Astoria's boldness with physical contact this visit. She's worried about you. I push the matter from my mind and hurry from Hermione's favorite room in our house. "Diagon Alley," I manage to choke out, looking over her favorite reading nook. I tuck in my elbows as the floo sends me spinning.
A camera flashes in my face, and I hear, "How do you feel about your fiancee's memory loss?" being yelled at me as I barrel past the reporter, barely repressing a scowl. Years of happiness and bliss with Hermione have made me soft. I snort thinking about how reporters didn't dare do more than sneak a glimpse of me from a distance before her. Usually pressed against some or another woman, and I roll my eyes at my past. The bell tinkles and the smell of new books wash over me. Tired, blue eyes fall upon me as Ralph, the manager, sighs.
"Wasn't sure if I'd find you here today, without her and all."
"Every Sunday, Ralph. You know the routine."
I glare bitterly at the floor, getting ready to pick more books even in her absence.
"She stopped by earlier, so's you know."
My head snaps up at him, and he gives me a wink and a laugh that's rough like his voice. I'm speechless. She came on our day. I grab several books eagerly and make my way to the counter. I set down a couple Galleons and tell Ralph to keep the change. Previously, I had thought against it, but I turned and apparated to the Potter's doorstep with a renewed hope in my chest.
My eyes are full of tears as I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror. I can see the signs of aging on my face, and the hope that someone will pop out a "Just kidding!" soon dashes out the window. My hair is less bushy than I remember; its much longer now. Its length is mid-way down my back and weighing down the frizz. Where my skin was once smooth, I'm finding small laugh lines have set in. The proof that I am missing so many years of my life is etched onto my face. I smother down a sob and take in a ragged breath- I needed to get downstairs; Harry and Ginny were preparing lunch. I began to climb down the stairs when a familiar voice causes me to freeze; I listen carefully.
"It has to mean something!"
"I think it means she likes books, mate." Harry pauses. "If you keep reading this much into her every action... you're gonna go mad, Draco."
"But it's OUR day at OUR bookstore... It's what we do..."
My breath catches and eyes water at the heartbreak in his voice. I shake my head in an attempt to free myself of my emotions. It's just Draco. I scoff to myself. I decide I'm suddenly not very hungry and tiptoe as quickly and quietly as I could back up the stairs into the guest room. I crawl back under the covers, feeling oddly safe underneath the thick down comforter. I turn my head to the stack of books on the nightstand next to me, wanting nothing more than to escape into one of them. I plucked the top book from the pile and sat up to read. Just as I begin to read my newest addition, I hear a knock on the bedroom door. My head snaps up in time to lock eyes with none other than my 'fiancé.'