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Chapter 38

Dark Surrendered

Morgana was thrilled, albeit a bit empty, with no one here to celebrate with. Still she was over the moon with bliss. Her spell was almost complete. She had everything ready. It was all going her way and she could hardly believe it. She never took the time to appreciate how much easier her planning was without Emrys' interference. Now, she needed Mordred's death. If Theron would find and bring him back already.

Minutes turned into hours as Morgana waited. She spent her time between watching Merlin sleep and coming up with counter moves in case things didn't go her way. Morgana sat in her throne-like chair savoring the small peace she had managed to attain. She listened to Merlin's light breathing, watched the rise and fall of his chest. A familiar comfort she hasn't been able to feel next to her in far too long. Yet as good as Morgana felt there was this darkness that refused to let her out of its grip. It beat and battered against the walls of her mind, dragging her down into a well of aphotic thinking. She was almost relieved when she was interrupted by a soft clearing of a throat. Morgana looked up. Three servants stood beside her holding two trays of food filled with meat and bread, fruit and cheese, two cups and a jug of wine. She had asked a servant to bring the food to the tent awhile ago. As naïve as the hope is, she wanted to share a dinner with Merlin before battle. Something normal. Things were changing so quickly, she had no real normalcy anymore and craved stability more than she would have thought. That was why she had made some last minute changes to her plans. Instead of meting Arthur on the battle field she thought it would save them both a lot of pain and suffering if she went directly to what she wanted most. The Kingdom, not its King.

She gestured to the table next to the bed Merlin occupied "Put it on the table." Morgana murmured. Silently they obeyed. They turned back to Morgana once done, awaiting further orders. "That's all." Morgana turned away from them and back to Merlin. As one they left the tent. She stayed like that for several more moments.

Morgana sighed heavily, stood up and went to see what the servants brought. She stared at the small feast before her. She picked up a fork and stabbed a piece of apple and cheese. Her stomach rumbled from hunger. She wanted to eat, but each time she picked up a bite of food she lost her appetite. She had hoped that dining with Merlin would help her relax and eat, apparently not. Aggravated with herself and her galling emotions she tossed the fork onto the table with a clang and swooped up a chalice and filled it to the brim with wine. With a clash she set the silver jug loudly on the table hoping the noise would wake Merlin from his death like slumber. No such luck. She sat heavily in a chair by the table and sighed.

Who would have thought she would be where she was, doing what she was doing, and succeeding, at it. It was a travesty. Morgana had once imagined ruling the kingdoms along side her brother, Arthur. Mending the rift between magic users and non magic users. Healing what their father damaged. Her reigning over the magic users, with Merlin by her side, and Arthur ruling the rest. But that didn't seem like that was going to happen. Not with the way things are going or the things she had done. There was no going back only forward into uncharted waters.

Morgana didn't bother with lady like manners, not when she was teetering on the edge of an abyss she never thought she would be close enough to fall over. With dragging gulps she emptied the goblet in seconds. The heady rush of endorphins charged her blood but couldn't derail her darkening thoughts.

Morgana refilled her goblet, drained it in a few more gulps, only to refill it again. She stood unsteadily to her feet. She walked back over to Merlin. She crossed her arms and took a sip a wine and gazed at Merlin's unconscious body. She savored the almost childlike innocence he exuded while he slept. The Merlin before her was so at odds with the Emrys of legend. He was both myth and man. The man of her dreams and the monster of her nightmares. The line was blurring, and Morgana, at times, almost couldn't recognized the subtle differences between Merlin and Emrys.

Heat started to creep up her neck and color her cheeks. The wine was making its self known. It spread out from her stomach slowly numbing her abysmal emotions. She took another sip. She pressed the brim of the chalice against her chin, resting her elbow on her forearm crossed over her stomach. She rolled the brim of the cup under her bottom lip in slow lazy movements.

Where Merlin loved her, Emrys hated her, and Morganas' love for Merlin made it so she couldn't fully separate her loathing for Emrys. She knew deep down in her being they couldn't be together. Not in the way she really wanted. There was too much bad blood between them for that to ever happen. At least while he was still able to freely fight her. Her only option was to break him. She had to become his whole world, his everything.

"Milady," A young man interrupted.

Morgana sighed. She glanced over her shoulder. Three men stood behind her. "Lathe" Morgana greeted mildly. He stood in front of the two guards put in charge of Cedric. "Neal. Reese." She acknowledged before she turned her back on them and looked back to Merlin.

"What is it?" Morgana asked tiredly. She took another large gulp, draining the last of her wine.

"The prisoner..." Neal wavered.

Morgana snorted and set the chalice down on the nearest table. "Let me guess," Morgana murmured. "Cedric escaped."

"Yes, Milady." Lathe confirmed. "Neal and Reese just informed me,"

Morgana unfolded her arms and turned to face him. "Informed you?" Morgana asked dangerously. She assessed him with narrowed eyes. She took in his disheveled appearance. His shirt was on backwards and his trousers were unlaced and he had no boots on. "Why were you not at your post with our fellow guard-mates?"

Lathe opened his mouth to answer but Morgana raised a hand to silence him. "Never mind." Morgana dismissed. She transferred her glare to Neal, then Reese and back to Lathe. It was his responsibility to watch Cedric more so than the buffoon brothers Neal and Reese. "How did it happen?" Morgana demanded. She had an idea, but she wanted him to admit to it. That he lost the prisoner because he wanted to get his cock wet. She wanted to see him squirm in humiliation for it.

Lathe tensed. It was one sentence. A simple question, but the sorcerer felt an icy chill crept up his spine from her soft, yet firm demand.

"I don't know. I was with Omari and,"

She looked back at Merlin, giving the sorcerer her back. "Omari. Of course you were with Omari." Morgana muttered. "You do know that Omari is Cedrics sister," Morgana pointed out innocently. "And that by loosening your britches for that woman you cost me two very coveted assets." She continued darkly.

Lathe stuttered. "I-uh..."

Morgana gazed at Lathe for a long time, her green eyes burrowed into him. She walked towards Lathe. He flinched as Morgana glided past him. She smirked at his weakness. She shoved past Neal and Reese.

"W-where are you going Milady?" Lathe asked hesitantly.

"Are you really questioning me right now?" Morgana grumbled.

"N-no, Milady."

"Uh." Morgana shivered as if the title gave her the spooks. "Enough with the 'Milady' already." She spun away from him, but the motion sent her stumbling into Reese.

"Are you alright, Mil-Morgana?" Lathe corrected himself. He shared a look with Reese and Neal.

Morgana frowned and her brows drew together. "Im fine." She assured. "Go find a maiden to ruin." She dismissed and shoved away from Reese.

She walked from the tent. The wine was disabling. Taking her feet out from under her. Unusual. She had a rare tolerance for intoxicants, but these few glasses of wine seemed to hit her harder this time. What was going on?

The fresh air was a shock to her system. The evening chill was just starting to settle in as the sun set for the night. It battled with the heat rising within her. She took in a lung full of frigid air desperate to wipe the cobwebs that kept clouding her mind. She felt feverish, to blistering to be good. She stumbled, sliding in a mud puddle. She felt gravity shift. The ground tilted and she knew she was going to fall.

A hard hand grabbed onto her upper arm and righted her. She looked around for the one who had just prevented her unexpected mud facial.

"Theron." Morgana slightly slurred. She scowled. "What took you so long?" The words died on her lips. Her gaze fell to what Theron cradled in his arms and her scowled faded into a mask of indifference. "Mordred." Morgana breathed. She took in his pale face and torn cloths that barely concealed the massive chard wound on his chest. She could see bits of white through the raw and blackened flesh. His ribs. She swallowed hard. This was what she wanted. She knew he had to die to get what she wanted. But to see it. To have him here, right in front of her, so near to death, drove home one blaring truth she had wished to ignore.

She wasn't the savior she thought she was, or even the evil Emrys claims she was. She was much, much worse. She looked up at Theron and gave him ghostly smile. "Thank you, Theron. Take him in there." Morgana nodded to the tent she had just come from.

Theron nodded, and obeyed. He left Morgana standing alone as he took Mordred into the tent. His brow furrowed at her distance. Normally she wasn't so...contained.

Morgana watched him disappear into the tent. She stood there a while taking in the moment. She was excited, yes, but there was a sort of dread building in her gut. Something she didn't like. It stole away her bliss and replaced it with guilt and fear. Morgana shoved those pesky emotions aside and aloud the darkness she had been nurturing to overwhelmed them. She embraced her darkness. She no longer tried to restrain it. It helped her center herself. She stood up on unsteady legs and looked up at the sky. The sun had officially set. She had lost track of time.

Morgana took a step towards the tent that housed Merlin and Mordred when a strange rushing noise, almost like a raging waterfall, started up in her ears blocking out all other sound. A pressure started to build up behind her eyes, throbbing at her temples, and the base of her neck. It was as if an immense energy was trying to invade her mind. It was as foreign as it was familiar. It was Emrys she felt. Morgana searched for a place to sit as her vision filled with little black dots. She found an old rickety chair just before she lost her footing and collapsed into the wooden seat. She gripped her head with her hands desperate to stave of the pressure in her head when suddenly it was gone, leaving her in complete silence. Hesitantly, she sat up testing her movements. Nothing happened. She heaved a relieved sigh. A smile slowly spread across her face.

Morgana just sat there a while, reorienting herself. This sudden and new feeling of power, it made her feel invincible. It was intoxicating. And nauseating. If Merlin felt even a quarter this powerful then why is he content to be a lowly servant? He could have been King... now she shares his power and she will be Queen.