November 12, 1977

Lily sat at the Gryffindor table at breakfast pouring over her transfiguration notes and trying to understand what she had been unable to understand the previous night. Her eggs remained mostly untouched and were getting cold, but transfiguration was more important than cold eggs.

The only trouble was Lily was having a time trying to concentrate on her notes. Her mind was wandering to places she wasn't used to it going.

"Earth to Lily!" Marlene said waving her hand in front of Lily's face.

"What?" Lily realized she had been smiling lightly and forced her face into a scowl.

"We would like to know the cause of this past weeks lack of concentration and smiling wistfully at random intervals." Alice demanded.

Marlene snapped her fingers a broad grin coming over her face, Lily didn't like when Marlene did that. "I bet she got kissed!"

"Lily? No…. she's not like you."

"Um I have not been kissed in the last week and I now I know even if I had I shouldn't tell you and you'd talk about it even if I didn't tell you."

"Oh Lily lighten up! We are your friends it is our job to gush about whether or not you have been kissed?"

"Oh Marlene, we aren't those girls. The point of being friends is to always have each others back and to always discuss boys-"

"That's it, I'm going to the library!"

"Oh she definitely got kissed, look at her cheeks, bright red!"

"Oh yeah, definitely…"

Marlene and Alice's discussion faded into the background hubbub of the great hall as Lily left and marched toward the library. Lily couldn't shake the feeling she'd had when she'd kissed James, it had been a thrill, but if they started dating… it would be too weird. She had spent years saying no to his every insistence and then now to actually say yes… No she couldn't do it.

"Hey Lily! Wait up!" James was running up to her, messy hair waving around, Lily fought the urge to run her fingers through it.

"What." Lily turned back and continued walking toward the library. She could practically hear the pain in his silence.

"So… uh… well it's been a week and we still haven't talked about, you know, the kissing. I haven't told anyone, like I said, but I thought that we should talk, you know?" James smiled awkwardly.

Lily turned and pulled James into an out of the way area where no one would see them. James clearly took this as a sign that Lily wanted to kiss him again, because he was already bending over to kiss her.

Lily put her hand up and his mouth fell on to it and his eyes flew open.

"So you didn't pull me in here to snog?"

"Wow, you're smarter than I gave you credit for." Lily said sarcastically. James smiled proudly then looked a little confused and hurt.

"James, I don't think we should do this."

"Do what?"

"Snog, date, whatever. It would be to weird." Lily felt her heart pounding, it was really hard to tell whether she wanted to rip James to shreds or if she wanted to rip his shirt off.

"What!? No! It wouldn't be weird, Lily please, it wouldn't be weird!"

"Sorry, it's just not going to work." James looked like all the swag he held inside of him had just been ripped out of him and Lily hated that she was the one that made him look like that.

o0o

Lily sat in Gryffindor commons that night doing an essay for Slughorn. Rather she was trying to do an essay for Slughorn, but she was actually listening to James and his friends talk. James was looking forlornly at her and his friends were all trying to cheer him up.

"Come on James, you've been so happy this week mate, why're you so beat up now?" Sirius was saying.

James sighed, "Things change." He looked away from Lily and at his friends.

"Let's play exploding snap!" Peter tried helpfully.

"I'm not in the mood." James sighed again and went to the boy's dormitories.

Lily sighed and turned back to her essay. She really, really hated what this was doing to James, but it was best this way. It would be too weird if they dated.

As Lily was putting the finishing touches on her essay Professor McGonagall came in through the portrait hole and walked to the notice board.

"Oh my love, Minnie! Whatever are you doing here, my dear?!" Sirius called from in front of the fire. McGonagall, being the woman she was, ignored him.

She tacked up a piece of paper and headed out.

"Oi, what's this? Another Hogsmeade visit in two weeks?! Oh this is excellent, Remus we should get James to ask that pretty Hufflepuff girl in sixth year."

"Excellent idea Padfoot."

"How are you going to get him to do that when he's gone to bed at, what, six?"

"An interesting question Wormy… I have a plan…"

"I hate when you say that, it always means trouble."

"Moony,I'm offended! Are you insinuating that trouble is bad?! How could you?!"

Remus sighed and the three of them left the portrait hole.