As AnakinSmom so succinctly put it, it's time for EC to start getting his shit together ;) I also happen to agree with all of you who commented on how Bella now has a fourth child with Max running around, but like she said, Swans don't do anything by halves LOL. We did the same thing bringing home our Dalmatian and had a very swift learning curve.

Thank you all for your holiday wishes! I hope you all had a lovely holiday season. We do celebrate although we aren't religious, so it's more a day of family, food, and silly games. It's our first year as Mr and Mrs so we hosted this year and had eleven people and one spotty dog crowded in our relatively little house, but it was a great day. It's always nice when we're all together.

Chapter Twenty-One

Edward

Shame blankets me as I step out of my car on Wednesday lunch time. After dropping Jasper, Alice, and Matty at the airport I didn't hesitate or stall. I came straight back to the bay, cruising past my house to pull up outside a cosy little gray home that, oddly, feels like my second home.

And it's all because of the people who live there.

It's a typical hot-as-Hades day, but I can't blame the heat for the sweat gathering at the back of my neck. That's all guilt. I haven't been able to get the look on Finley's face out of my mind since I walked away from him on Saturday. It's taken four days of reflection and soul-searching to muster the courage to come apologize, and they only live down the street.

I like to think I'm a good guy. A decent guy. But I've fucked up, and I intend to make amends.

I don't usually feel bad for running from my memories. This time...it's different. I don't know why, but it is. Glancing down the street at my house, I briefly mull over the idea of going home instead, but quickly dispel the notion. I need to do this. Besides anything else, tonight is Bella's first shift at Burger Co. and I'm desperate for it to go well. I want her to want to be there, and I don't want any awkwardness or discomfort.

My knuckles come down on the door in a triple tap at the same time as my ears pick up the sounds of a familiar beat. Leaning in closer with furrowed brows, I can't help but smile despite the slight tremor of my hands at my sides and the knot of unease in my stomach.

"...those cats were fast as lightning."

Even my heavy-handed knock is never going to drown out the blaring music, so I debate my options for a moment before stepping off the porch and heading around the side of the house. It was only a couple of weeks ago that I was here helping unpack, but even just outside, it already has a more homey feel to it. Hand-painted flower pots—like the ones at Charlie and Renee's—decorate the porch while a plaque reading 'Swan,' in what has to be one of the boys' messy scrawl, adorns the gate leading into the backyard.

I hesitate before swinging it open, wondering if I'm doing the right thing, before going inside and deciding I'll leave right away if they ask me to. Hopefully, Bella will be out back and spot me before I can accidentally make anyone jump.

Although, upon turning the corner and reaching the main part of the backyard where the trampoline and a new outdoor seating set sits, I immediately realize I'm out of luck. Bella isn't back here, but Arlo is.

"There were funky China men, from funky Chinatown. They were trapping bend up, they were trapping bend down."

Music booms from the speakers hanging out of the dining area windows. Across the yard, Max is sprawled happily in the shade, his little master doing what I can only assume is supposed to be some kind of Kung Fu or karate while belting out mostly correct lyrics to Kung Fu Fighting. In actual fact, he's not that bad—just a little uncoordinated as he kicks his leg out and tries to spin on one foot.

The combination of his fall landing him facing me and my loud chuckle alert him to my presence. Instead of furrowed brows or a scowl, I receive a wide, toothy grin.

"Edward! What are you doin' here? Did you see my Fung Ku?" Arlo shakes his head. "I mean Kung Fu! Did you see?"

"I did, buddy," I chuckle, edging closer. My eyes flick toward the open screen door. Where is she?

A cold, wet nose pressing itself against my knee scares the shit out of me before I can see Bella. "Fuckin'—Max!" Looking down, I find Max sitting in front of me, tongue lolling and tail wagging slowly. For such a big puppy, he sure can sneak around. Realization dawns. "Shit, sorry, Arlo. I mean...ah, hell."

Of course, that's how Bella finds me. Raking a hand through my hair and cursing a blue streak in front of her four-year-old.

With pursed lips and her arms crossed over her chest—eyes on her face, Cullen—she leans in the doorway. "Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in, Lo."

Frowning and scratching his cheek, Arlo asks, "What cat?"

Unintentionally silly though it may be, Arlo's retort diffuses some of my nerves.

Why was I worried? It's just Arlo and Bella. And I guess Jaxson and Finley are around here somewhere.

Except...

There's nothing just about them. They're important to me in a way I never expected.

"It's a figure of speech, kiddo," she finally sighs, shaking her head with the fondest of smiles aimed at her kid. "Lunch is ready. Come inside and wash up, please."

"'Kay."

As he takes off inside, Max follows dutifully. Bella stares at me for a long moment. I've just about geared myself up to apologize and excuse myself when her lips curl up into a wide smile. "You, too. You know where the washroom is. Lunch is on the table, so don't dawdle."

With that, she's gone and I'm left in the middle of the yard with a slack jaw and warmth spreading through my veins.

It takes a minute to organize my thoughts, so by the time I've stepped inside and washed my hands in the little washroom that barely fits my tall, broad frame, Bella, Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo are sitting at the small, round dining table overlooking the backyard. Max has his usual spot at Arlo's feet.

"Here, Edward," Arlo chimes. "You sit by me. I saved you a spot."

Ruffling his hair, I do as I'm told and take my seat beside him. "Thanks, buddy." Turning to Finley, I offer what I hope is an apologetic enough smile. He cocks his head at me for a second and I've never been more nervous of a six-year-old than I am right now.

"D'you want to share the smoky cheese? Nobody else likes it 'cept us."

Relief rushes through me like a tsunami. Blowing out a long breath, my smile becomes more genuine and I nod. "I'd like that. Thanks, buddy."

Bella hasn't skimped on food, that's for sure. A selection of meats, cheeses, and salad takes up a good chunk of the table. A large pitcher of what looks like homemade lemonade sits in the center, a stack of five plates and cutlery beside it.

"This looks…"

"Scrumdiddlyumptious!" Arlo finishes for me as I take a seat.

My eyebrows climb my forehead. "Scrumdiddly…"

"It's a Nanny Jude word," he explains frankly. Ah, makes sense. Turning to his mom, he reminds her that he promised Jude a bonus call this week when they go to 'the big park,' so she can see it.

"The big park?"

"Lake Eola."

Ah. "Charlie and Rae used to take you there."

Bella nods, tucking into the mini feast spread across the table. "All the time. I want the boys to see it, too." A pensive look crosses her face. "You can come, if you want."

"That'd be cool," Jaxson says through puffy cheeks. Bella softly reminds him to chew and swallow before stuffing more food into his mouth, then returns her gaze to my face.

While the boys are distracted by the food, I allow myself a moment to soak her in. With her hair twisted back in a knot matching Arlo's, her cheeks rosy and her eyes bright as she watches me watch her, she's the most stunning thing I've ever seen. Even in holey shorts and a tee stained with what appears to be paint, she's beautiful. I've missed her more than I let myself believe.

"Here you go, Edward," Finely murmurs, pulling my focus away from his mom as he hands me the smoked cheese.

"Thanks, buddy."

Listening to the boys chatter amongst themselves, only occasionally asking for participation from me and their mom, fills me with a sense of peace that's as unfamiliar as it is welcome. My chest heaves with a sigh as I admit to myself that it reminds me of meal times at the table with Willow; their presence makes me feel nostalgic for my own daughter.

Bella's fingers twining themselves with mine across the table tug me from my thoughts. My lips curl up on one side as I squeeze them; the relief her small gesture elicits is astronomical.

I'm not off the hook, not by any means, but this...it's a do-over I didn't dare hope for.

A fresh start I'm determined not to waste.

~ oOo ~

"C'mon, Max!" Arlo yells, running up the drive with Arlo on his leash at his side. "Nana and Papa are waiting!"

Chuckling, I wave Bella forward and follow her up the porch steps. Arlo doesn't pause to knock or ask to be let in. He throws the door open, announcing his presence with a sing-songy, "Honey, I'm home!"

My eyebrows jump up my forehead. "Where did he learn that?"

Bella snorts and shakes her head, closing the front door behind us. "Dad says it to Mom sometimes. I suppose he's heard it from him."

"My little loves, you're here!" Renee appears in the doorway, sliding her sunglasses into her hair and hitching up her skirt so she can crouch to hug her grandsons as they dive into her arms. Max lets out a squeaky bark and jumps into the middle of them, his wagging tail and sloppy-tongued kisses making them all laugh.

"Can we play in the pool? It's so hot," Jaxson tells his nana with a huff, dramatically wiping his brow for good measure.

Renee's lips curl up into a grin. "Of course, you can, sweetheart. Shall we have dinner first, do you think?"

The boys whine, but it's only half-hearted, especially when Charlie joins us carrying a platter of baby back ribs, the smell of BBQ sauce riding the faintest wisps of a breeze.

"Well, well. Does this mean I have to share my ribs?" he teases good-naturedly, setting the food on the counter so Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo can hug his legs. Ruffling their hair, he turns his attention to Bella and me. My pulse speeds up a little as he looks between us.

Please don't ask any questions, Charlie. I don't think you'll like the answers.

Obviously thinking quicker than I'm able, Bella pulls him into a hug and plants a kiss on his cheek. "Hi, Dad. Edward and I thought it would be easier to carpool seeing as we're starting and finishing at the same time, and we're neighbors now."

"That sounds like a good idea," Charlie murmurs, holding her against his side and shooting me a grin. "Hey, EC. I hope you know what you're in for, hiring this one."

With a wry smile and a wink for Bella, I nod and bend to pat Max, who has apparently decided the zip on the pocket of my cargo shorts is fair game as a teether. "I think I can handle her. We'll give it a good go, at least."

While Bella pretends to look outraged, I can see the mischief dancing in her steel gray eyes as she rolls them at me and wiggles free of her dad's grip to round up her boys. "Yeah, yeah. Let's all gang up on Bella, why don't we? You three love me, don't you?"

All three boys nod and offer her kisses and cuddles before tearing off after Charlie, who admits that he has food on the grill he needs to check on. "Take care of my girl, EC," he warns teasingly, pointing at me. "I'm trusting you with her."

If only he knew what he was saying.

After giving Renee a hug, and reminding her that Max is a liability and needs watching virtually 24-7, Bella follows me back out to the Jeep so we can drive to Burger Co. I can't help but grin all the way there, glancing across at Bella in her jean shorts and Burger Co. tee every now and then. She finally laughs and twists to face me better.

"Okay, what are you grinning at, mister?"

"Just you," I admit readily, chuckling at her attempt to stifle her smile. "Do you have any questions about tonight? Any concerns or anything?"

Frowning, she runs her hands through her hair before slipping a band from her wrist and twisting her locks back into a ponytail. My fingers itch against the steering wheel, wanting to take the place of her hands in her soft hair. "I don't think so...I mean, I did okay the other day, didn't I?"

"You were great. You handled everything like a pro."

"Then I think I'll be fine." In the corner of my eye, I see her smile turn mischievous. "I do have one question, boss."

Stifling a groan, I studiously ignore the fact that my dick likes the tone she uses to call me 'boss' and hum a questioning, "Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Will I get fired for harassment if I can't keep my hands off you?"

Shaking my head a little too fast, I quickly feel my ears burning when she laughs at my resolute, "No way."

It does raise a question for me, though. One that really needs to be asked before this, whatever it is between us, grows stronger.

"What are your thoughts on privacy?" I ask, a little hesitant to hear her answer. There aren't any parking spaces particularly close to the restaurant, so she has a minute or two to think while I hunt down a spot big enough for the Jeep. When I finally kill the engine, she breathes a shaky sigh and purses her lips.

"I think we need to be careful. This," she motions between us, "scares the life out of me. You're you, and I'm just me—"

"There's no 'just' about you, Bella," I interject, reaching across to squeeze her thigh. "And if it makes you feel any better, I'm terrified, too."

Bella flushes, twisting her fingers around mine. "It feels weird to say it, but yeah, it does make me feel better that I'm not the only one nervous about where this is or isn't leading. I think it's safe to say I'm a little gun-shy with the whole men and relationships thing."

"Same here." Her eyes widen, and I realize my slip. "Shit, I mean...obviously not men." Grumbling a curse, I rake my free hand through my hair and offer a rueful smile. "You know exactly what I mean, short stuff, and I feel the same. I'm working through some stuff at the moment…"

I don't think I need to expand on what that stuff is. Her understanding nod and squeeze of her fingers speaks volumes.

"But I've never felt like this before, Bella, and I want you to know that." Staring down at our joined hands, I realize that I'm not exaggerating even a little. With Kate—and I hate to compare the two women because Bella is a hundred times the woman Kate ever was or will be—it was always easy but, looking back, it was boring. I don't feel that with Bella at all. She's exciting, her very presence refreshing. Slowly but surely, she's breathing life back into me. Our situation is complicated, but I already feel like she's worth it.

Nothing about 'us' will be easy.

For one, she has three sons. Baggage that would have a lot of men—including those boys' own father—running for the hills. Not me, though. I'm already falling hard for Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo, and it took spending time with Matty to realize that the avuncular connection I have with him and my godchildren is different to the bonds I'm already building with Bella's boys. I'm not going to go as far as saying I feel like their dad, but I don't feel about them the same way I feel about Garrett and Tanya's girls or Matty.

Then there's my own baggage. I'm a big boy—I can admit that I have plenty of issues, most of which go back to losing my Willow and the aftermath of that, least of all Kate and the revelation she threw at me when she tossed the divorce papers onto the coffee table the day after we buried our daughter.

Last, but certainly not least, is the biggest obstacle we'll face if this develops further.

"Charlie and Renee…"

Bella winces, dropping her gaze. "They're not going to take it well, are they?"

"The truth? I don't think so, no." Squeezing her hand, I wait for her to look at me before speaking so I know she'll see the conviction in my eyes when I continue. "You're worth whatever issues we'll face if it comes to that, Bella. It might take time, but I believe they care more about you than they might care about our age gap."

"I think so, too," she eventually murmurs, chewing her lip.

Carefully tugging it free with my thumb, I offer her a small smile. "How about we worry about all this when we have to and just enjoy the peace we have now, huh?"

"That sounds good to me." Brightening, she sucks in a deep breath and glances around the Jeep before leaning in for a quick but passionate kiss when she sees that there's nobody looking. "C'mon then, let's get to it. I don't want my boss to punish me for being late on my first day."

Grumbling under my breath even as I savor the taste of her lip balm on my lips, I join her on the sidewalk to walk the twenty or so feet to Burger Co. "He won't punish you for being late, but he might spank you for being a tease."

Tossing a smirk over her shoulder and leading the way into the restaurant, where she knows there are too many listening ears for me to respond, she sings, "Promises, promises, boss."

Brat.

~ oOo ~

As it happens, I don't think I fully appreciated how distracting it would be having Bella here until tonight.

While I whip the kitchen into shape, helping them catch up after a hellish afternoon, I catch myself trying to get glimpses of her through the serving hatch.

When I move behind the bar, I spend as much time watching Bella effortlessly interacting with the customers as I do making drinks and serving customers of my own.

And when she disappears down to the stockroom to grab a bottle of champagne for a couple celebrating their wedding anniversary, I make an excuse to follow her and grin when Lily distractedly asks me to change the beer barrel while I'm down there, which gives me an excuse to take a few minutes.

Sneaking isn't an option when you're my size and the stairs creak, so she's expecting me when I get to the bottom and offer her a smirk. "Fancy seeing you here, handsome."

Handsome. That's the second time she's called me that. The first was the morning after our first time above the restaurant. I...actually, I like it. I've never been one for pet names, but coming from her, it doesn't sound cheesy or patronizing.

"Fancy that," I hum, casually sauntering into her personal space so she has to back up. Caging her in against the wall, I feel the deep breath she sucks in thanks to her chest brushing mine.

"You know, I should probably get back up to my tables," she whispers breathily, tipping her head to the side so I can have more room to trail my nose over her neck. How does she still smell so good after two hours of rushing around up there? "My boss is kind of a tyrant."

"A tyrant, huh?" I smirk, pressing a soft, barely-there kiss against the skin below her ear, delighted with the shiver it elicits, the soft moan it pulls from her chest.

"Mmhm. I wouldn't want to get in trouble on my first shift."

"Maybe you'd like the punishment," I offer lightly, skating my mouth over her neck, up to her jaw, then across to her lips. She doesn't fight it at all. Her hands grip my tee by my waist, her body leaning into mine as she teases me with the tip of her tongue until I allow her entry, the sweet soda she's been drinking lingering on her breath along with the faint remnants of her lip balm.

It's a heady combination. She's a heady mix of sweetness and fire as she slides her hands up to my neck, rocking her hips against my thigh with a mewled cry that reminds me of the sounds she makes in bed.

A muffled hoot and holler from upstairs reminds me that my staff could walk down any second and find us. Cooling the heat before it can burn us, I break away with a quiet groan and rest my forehead against hers.

"You're too much temptation for your own good."

She laughs quietly, her gaze too intense when I open my eyes just an inch or two away from hers. "Ditto, handsome. Ditto."

Taking one last kiss to carry me through the evening, I take a big step away from her and decide distance is going to be key to getting through the rest of the shift without mauling her, not that I think she'd complain.

"All right, you. Get back to work."

Smirking, she salutes me. "Sir, yes, sir."

Lightly swatting her butt, I grin and get to work switching the beer barrels over for Lily, reminding her what she came down here for when it becomes obvious she's forgotten.

I won't lie—it's definitely an ego boost for this nearly-thirty-nine-year-old, knowing that I can thoroughly distract Bella when she could have her pick of basically any guy, that it's me she wants.

I can't help but notice the attention she receives when she's out and about; it's impossible to miss it. Even tonight, there have been more than a few gawking guys admiring her. It doesn't help that she radiates joy wherever she goes, that stunning smile of hers offset by the vibrancy of her hair and the twinkle in her eyes as she banters back and forth with her tables and the other servers.

We have Lily and Garrett out front with us tonight, Jones, Kelly, and TJ in the kitchen. We're running like a well-oiled machine and Bella fits in like she's been here all along.

"Could you make some cocktails for table two, please?" Lily asks, sliding behind me to get to the shake station a few minutes after I return.

"Sure thing. What do you need?"

Rattling off their order, she shoots a quick grin over her shoulder. "Great job poaching Bella, boss. She fits in perfectly."

Flashing her a smile of my own before searching out a laughing Bella, my stomach flip-flopping when she catches me looking and winks before continuing her conversation, I can't help but agree.

~ oOo ~

Pulling up outside Bella's house on Saturday morning, I'm not surprised in the slightest to see the boys and Max already out on the porch. The puppy is loosely tied to the railing, the boys sitting on the steps beside him. Their faces light up when I cruise to a stop and step out onto the sidewalk. "Are you all ready to go?"

"Edward!" Jaxson turns to thump the propped-open door with his fist. "Momma, Edward's here!"

After pausing to untie Max, Arlo tears down the path with the puppy hot on his heels. Crashing into my legs, he peers up at me with his usual cheeky grin, his hair tied in a bun on top of his head. "Hey, buddy," I chuckle, tweaking his nose. "Are you ready to go to Lake Eola?"

It turns out Bella wasn't messing when she invited me to the park with them. Because she's a mean, mean woman, she got the boys to tag team me and talk me into putting off my paperwork and coming to the lake with them this morning. Truthfully though, I'm glad of the break. It's been pretty hectic at Burger Co., even for early August. Any thoughts I had about working on the brand expansion have been shoved to the back of my mind because between working as much as I can to ease the pressure on my crew and trying to spend time with Bella and the boys, I haven't had a free moment.

Of course, that also means I haven't had time to see Kendra, either. She left a chastising voicemail yesterday with a reminder that I'm overdue another session.

"Momma's made a huge picnic," Finley tells me softly, toying with his ear. I've noticed that he does it when he's feeling shy, but I've also noticed that he's doing it less around me. It's a pretty good feeling.

As I grin and ruffle his hair, the woman herself appears lugging a basket that looks heavier than her.

"Christ, Bella," I chuckle, hurrying up the path to take it from her. "How many people are you feeding?"

Cocking her head, she offers me a smirk and locks up the house. "You realize the boys are coming, right? This might last through the morning, just about. They'll still be hungry before dinner."

"I actually don't doubt that at all," I concede, knowing better than to underestimate the appetites on those boys. "Are you ready?"

After checking her purse, she grins and slides her sunglasses down over her eyes. "I sure am. Let's get moving."

Deciding it's easier to leave the seats where they are and take Bella's car, I grab my things from the Jeep and leave it where it is, climbing into the passenger seat as Bella barks orders at the boys and reminds them that we have an hour and a half in the car ahead of us.

"Can we stop for a shake?" Finley wonders.

Grinning, I reach for the cardboard cup holder in the foot well, glad the boys were too distracted getting themselves and Max into the car to notice it. "You didn't think I'd come empty-handed, did you, buddy?"

Finley's eyes light up as I hand him his go-to shake—Oreo whipped cream and chocolate shavings, heavy on the shavings. I'm sure I'll regret filling them with sugar right before a long drive, but they'll be able to run it off at the park.

"Thanks, Edward!"

Jaxson and Arlo are equally appreciative of theirs—KitKat and Fudge Sundae, respectively—but it's Bella's smile that makes me cock my head in question. "What?"

"Nothing," she lies, shaking her head as we roll off the drive.

"I brought one for you, too."

"Seriously?"

"Yep. You have to guess the flavor correctly to get it, though."

"Ooh, a game! Good luck, Momma," Finley says between slurps of his drink.

Bella makes a good show of pretending to think before shooting me a wink as we cruise by the 'Welcome to Jackson Bay' sign on the way toward Orlando.

"Is it Oreo cheesecake, by any chance?"

"It sure is," I murmur, handing it over and making my situation, uh, hard, by watching her sneak a few pulls through the straw before setting the cup in the drinks holder. Okay, so giving her something to suck on maybe wasn't a great idea.

"Winner, winner, chicken dinner!" Arlo crows, explaining his crazy away with a shrug and a goofy grin. "It's a Nanny Jude saying."

Of course it is.

~ oOo ~

When Bella invited me to join her and the boys at the park, it seemed easy to push the memories I have here to the back of my mind.

Being here, having those memories shoved in my face everywhere I turn, is another game entirely.

I can tell Bella has noticed my slight distraction, but I try to keep it hidden from the boys. I smile and laugh with them as they take turns dropping sticks into the water from the little bridge and watching to see whose gets to the other side the quickest. Max is thoroughly confused by the whole thing, almost tipping himself into the water in his attempts to reach the sticks as they sail past him. I'm a good sport when they tell Bella and I we have to do it, too, and my stick never reappears while hers rushes past toward the lake.

After a slow, leisurely lap of the lake, during which the boys are thoroughly distracted by everything around them and Max delights in greeting every person and dog he meets, I spy Bella watching me and link our fingers together, swinging them between us for a few paces before giving them a squeeze and releasing her, stuffing my hands in my pockets so they can't get me into trouble.

"Can we go on the swings?" Jaxson yells from up ahead when we get within sight of the playground.

"Sure. Arlo, stay with your brothers."

I don't think he's listening, but he waves over his shoulder all the same. Smirking, I shake my head.

"I'm gonna go smother them in sunscreen," Bella says softly when we get to the gate leading into the playground. Looping her arm around my waist, she gives me a quick hug and tries to hide the worry in her eyes when I meet her gaze. I was thinking I'd been doing well at concealing how this place is making me feel, but apparently not.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't be normal for you.

"Come join us when you're ready," she finally breathes in lieu of pressing me. I'm grateful for her understanding.

Only once I've taken Max's leash from her and watched Bella join the boys, hauling them off the jungle gym to slather them in UV 50 sunscreen, do I sigh and let my feet take me to the spot I've occupied many times over the years. Max bumbles along beside me, more than content to flop down at my feet when I come to a standstill.

With my back to the playground, my eyes on the Orlando skyline, I release a shaky breath and allow all the emotions rushing around inside me to bubble to the surface.

Here, I feel close to her. Here, with the rippling lake at my feet and the quiet click of the branches overhead brushing each other in the breeze. Here, where I both learned of her existence and chose her name.

Under the willows.

As requested, I've added a picture of Bella's hair to the Pinterest board ;) If you want to see pictures of the Jackson Bay crew and snoop on my inspiration for the bay itself, I have a board called 'Under The Willows' and my account is under the same name as I am here.

As always, huge thanks to my wonderful team of ladies who call me on my bull and point out when I'm being too liberal with my 'it's fiction' excuse. annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, and LadyLoonie, I love you all dearly. And I love each and every one of you who reads, reviews, and recommends this little tale of mine. Come friend me on Facebook - Ciara Shayee Hill - to chit chat with me and see the visuals I create to go with each chapter.