I'm sicker than a dog and every time I cough, I feel like my lungs are working their way out of my body. Fun! *facepalm*
Also, just a little note—I've said this before, and I'll say it again: guest reviews are more than welcome. Criticism is more than welcome. Rudeness is absolutely not. You can take your constructive criticism and shove it where the sun doesn't shine if you can't be nice about it.
Anyway...happy Sunday!
Chapter Twenty-Three
Edward
"Sorry for sneaking out with the boys this morning," I murmur, watching the boys shovel food into their mouths as though they didn't demolish a whole stack of pancakes a few hours ago.
Bella shakes her head, offering me a quick smile. "It's fine. I panicked at first, but I found your note pretty quickly. I was about thirty seconds away from a full-blown panic attack, though."
When Arlo woke up just as I was sneaking out this morning, I admit I might have panicked a bit myself. Our unspoken agreement thus far has been that I'll be out by the time the boys either wake up or are dropped off by Charlie and Renee, so it threw me for a loop when he blearily rubbed his eyes and asked if I'd had a sleepover with Jaxson and Finley without him.
"No, bud," I breathe, scooping him up and sighing into his messy hair as he snuggles against my chest, his face resting on my shoulder. "I, uh...I forgot something last night, so I thought I'd sneak back in and get it while you were all sleeping. Did I wake you?"
"No, I'm thirsty." He holds up his empty Stormtrooper drinks bottle, pulling back to frown at me. "I ran outta juice."
"C'mon, let's get you a drink, then."
Max is already waiting at the gate separating the kitchen and dining area from the living room, his fluffy tail wagging, when we get there. When I move to set Arlo down so I can figure out the tricky catch, he whines and clings on tighter, so I grin a little and step over the gate instead to let the dog out. Once Max is busy sniffing around the yard, I head back to the kitchen to get Arlo set up with a drink.
"Apple or orange?" I ask, nodding when he mumbles the latter. Once his bottle is filled back up, I figure a coffee won't hurt and hold him against my chest as I start up the coffee machine and wait semi-patiently for my first caffeine fix of the day. In the quiet of the early morning, I sway a little and hum into Arlo's hair, deciding what I'm going to do with my day. I figure Arlo will probably fall back asleep soon, so I'll be able to put him back to bed and head home without the other boys being any the wiser.
When Jaxson and Finley wake up and thump their way down the hall twenty minutes later, Arlo now begging me to let him play in the sprinkler despite the sun barely reaching the horizon, I decide it couldn't hurt to let them burn off some steam in my pool instead. It'll give Bella the chance to sleep in a bit and the boys some time to splash around.
"I should have asked you before taking them anywhere."
Bella doesn't disagree, but she does reach under the table to squeeze my thigh. "You apologized, it's fine. I'm grateful for the chance to sleep late, to be honest, it was just scary not knowing where they'd disappeared to for those first few minutes."
Raking a hand through my hair, I nod and lean back in my chair as I reach for my beer. It's been a great day. I've found myself relaxing and enjoying the company. My mind has wandered less than usual, the ache in my chest noticeably absent for the time being. For the first time in a long time, I can take a deep breath and feel the relief of the oxygen filling my lungs. More than once, I catch Bella watching me with the boys and wonder if I'm overstepping my bounds, but the stunning smile that seems to be permanently etched in her face tells me otherwise.
"Can you cut this?"
"Sure, kiddo—"
"No, Edward!"
Raising her eyebrows at Jaxson, Bella cocks her head.
"Uh, please?" Jaxson amends, flashing her the puppy-dog eyes. I glance down at Max, waiting patiently for any scraps of food the boys might sneak his way, and wonder if he's been giving the boys lessons to perfect that face. They seem to be extra good at it today.
"If Edward doesn't mind…" Bella trails off, looking at me now, and I know she'd take over and cut Jaxson's grilled steak for him if I refused.
Grinning, I set down my beer and twist a little so I can take Jaxson's knife and fork. "How big do you want the pieces, bud?"
Again, I can feel Bella's eyes on me, but I focus on Jaxson and ruffle his hair when he mumbles his thanks, diving back into his food with enthusiasm that makes this chef a happy camper. I used Dad's recipe for the steaks tonight, and they've gone down a treat with the boys—even Finley, who doesn't usually like anything with too much flavor. I think I actually whimpered the other day when he told me his favourite food is McDonald's chicken nuggets.
I'll make a food connoisseur of the boy yet.
The sun slowly sinks in the sky as we enjoy dinner together on the back patio. It doesn't escape my notice that it's the first time this table has been used for anything other than my bottle of whiskey in years, or that this yard hasn't seen laughter and smiles in the same amount of time. I pay one of my neighbor's teen kids to clean the pool every so often, but I can't remember the last time it was used before today. Although it feels odd to have company here, it's a nice kind of odd. A refreshing change to the usual silence that blankets this house, this backyard.
As Arlo blows bubbles in his soda, Finley sneaks the tomato off his plate and under the table to Max, and Jaxson asks Bella for more of the 'scrumdiddlyumptious' potatoes, I breathe it all in.
The smells of summer hang in the hair; barbecue food, the faintest hint of chlorine, and the sunscreen Bella slathered on the boys earlier. If I listen beyond the chatter around the table, I can hear the relaxing whoosh of the waves meeting the shore, the gulls screeching as they soar overhead, and the breeze rustling the palm leaves.
If I close my eyes, it's almost exactly the kind of summer evening I pictured myself enjoying here for years to come when Willow came along. She's the only thing I'm missing as I suck in a shaky breath and blow it out again slowly, opening my eyes to Bella's mouthed, "Are you okay?"
Smiling, I sneak my hand under the table and twist our fingers together on my knee, giving them a squeeze. "I'm more than okay."
And it's all thanks to you and these boys.
~ oOo ~
The next week passes in a whirlwind of getting Bella used to everything at Burger Co. while battling the summer crowds, organizing the schedule for my two-week vacation in a month, and trying to sneak time with Bella when she isn't spending time with her family or getting the boys prepared for their first day of school.
In the stolen moments at the restaurant and the passion-fuelled, sleepless nights we spend together in her bed afterward, I find my fire.
Over noisy dinners with the boys, rowdy games of soccer on the beach, and impromptu pool parties when the sprinkler doesn't cut it, I find my smiles and my laughter.
And in the random texts Bella sends me 'just because,' the whispered phone calls when the boys take my spot in her bed at night and I'm relegated to my own house, and the mornings I wake up with her wrapped around me, I find my peace.
When I see Kendra on Friday and admit that I'm welcoming my emotions for the first time in years, she fights a smile as she tells me to enjoy my return to the land of the living and remember that living my life doesn't dishonor Willow's memory.
"She'd want you to be happy, wouldn't she?"
Dashing a tear from my cheek, I nod and manage a shaky smile. She was a bright, funny, caring little girl. Yes, she'd want me to be happy.
When Monday dawns, I send a text to Jones and promise to be there soon, I just have an errand to run before I head into Burger Co. Grabbing the bag of supplies I picked up on Thursday, I haul ass and hustle down the street as the sun starts to rise behind the houses. I have a surprise to set up.
Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo are just stepping out onto the front porch when I finish up and step back to admire my handiwork, crossing my arms with a grin as the boys fly down onto the grass.
"This is so cool! That's my name!" Arlo yells, likely waking up every person on the street with his excited screech. His grin is a mile wide as he bounces under the blue balloon arch with his name spelled out in small silver letter balloons. Thankfully, I thought ahead and dug the pump out of the garage, otherwise it would have taken hours to inflate enough balloons to make the arches. There's one for each of the boys. Arlo's is blue, because that's his favorite color. Jaxson's is red, and Finley's is yellow, so those are the colors I opted for when I picked out all the balloons.
"Did you do this, Easy?"
Grinning at my new nickname, I drop to a crouch and catch Arlo as he barrels into my arms. "I did. Do you like it?"
"I love it!"
My new nickname, Easy, is a result of miscommunication on Arlo's part. He's heard people calling me 'EC' since he arrived here in Florida and figured they were saying 'easy,' I guess. He cheerfully announced my new moniker over a BBQ at my place on Saturday. His brothers have adopted it, too, and Bella had great fun teasing me about its other meaning in bed later that night.
"Good, bud. I'm glad." Turning my attention to Jaxson and Finley, I'm relieved to find them grinning, too. "What about you two?"
"It's awesome, Easy," Jaxson tells me with a lazy grin, his twin nodding his agreement just as a faint click captures all of our attention.
Bella lowers her phone, her lips curled in a wide grin that shows off her pearly whites as she steps down off the porch. "Edward...this is so nice of you."
Shrugging, I feel my ears heating up. "It's nothin', just a little something I did…" for Willow.
"C'mon, little princess. Daddy's got a surprise for you outside."
"Ooh, for me? I loooove surprises, Daddy!"
"What a shocker. I'd never have known." Chuckling, I grab Willow's little pink backpack and usher her out the front door, knowing Kate is already out there with the camera rolling.
Willow's loud scream probably wakes up every neighbor on the street. She bounces down the steps and along the path to the pink and purple balloon arch bearing her name and a little chalkboard with '1st day of kindergarten' written on it. Kate did the writing, so it's legible.
"Daddy, it's so pretty! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Kate snorts, shaking her head with a smile. "I helped, too! Do I get a thank you?"
"Sure, Mommy." Willow bounces into her mom's arms for a brief hug before skipping right back to me, her little arms tight around my legs and her freckle-framed smile bright as the sun when she peers up at me. "You're the best daddy in the whole wide world."
Touching my face, Finley pulls me from my memories. His little brows are puckered in a frown. "Are you sad so much 'cause you miss your little girl?"
My heart thumps hard against my ribs, the tear tumbling over my cheek forgotten. How does he…
"I saw the picture in the living room at your house," he admits, his cheeks flushing. "I wasn't snooping, I just needed the bathroom and Arlo was in the other one. Where is she?"
I feel Bella's hand on my shoulder before her quiet voice tells me she can take it from here, if I want. I nod, because I'm not sure I can speak right now. I didn't expect my emotions to bowl me over like this. Foolishly, I thought I could do this for Bella's boys and not be debilitated by the memory of my girl's first day of kindergarten. But I didn't realize Finley knew about Willow. I didn't even consider the fact that he, Jaxson, and Arlo were in my house—the house that hasn't changed a bit since the day I dropped Willow off at school for the last time and headed off to work, none the wiser about how drastically my life would change just hours later.
"Edward's daughter Willow is in heaven, Finn."
Finley's eyebrows lift a little, his eyes flashing to mine before returning to Bella. "Like Nanny Jude's Phil?"
Phil?
"Yeah, kiddo. Like Phil." To me, she quickly whispers, "Jude's husband passed away when Jax and Finn were babies."
Instead of the questions I expect from Bella's normally inquisitive son, I find myself being wrapped in his arms. He pats my back like I'm sure Bella has patted his when he's been upset, drawing a watery chuckle and a shaky smile from me. "I'm sorry Willow went to heaven, Easy. I bet you miss her."
"I do," I croak, clearing my throat and pulling him against my chest. My eyes slide shut, the now-familiar apples and pears scent of the shampoo he and his brothers use filling my lungs as I impulsively kiss his head. "Thank you, buddy. But you don't have to be sorry. She...she was hurt, and now she's in heaven, she can't hurt anymore."
He nods against my shoulder. "Nanny Jude's Phil was hurt, too. She says she's happy he's got peace now and can eat all the sugar he wants without having to stick himself."
Bella laughs quietly, telling me that Phil had Type 1 diabetes but loved his candied almonds a little too much.
"I bet Willow gets to eat all her favorite candy and stay up way past her bedtime now." Pulling back, Finley offers me a tiny smile and uses the sleeve of the sweater tied around his waist to wipe my face. I'm sure his mom has done the same for him a hundred times. The sweet gesture makes my chest seize up.
Chuckling despite the lump in my throat, I sniff and nod, realizing we have Jaxson and Arlo's attention now. Pulling them all closer, I try not to crush them against me in a hug before kissing each of their heads and releasing them so Bella can get them to school on time.
"I'm so grateful for you three, d'you know that?"
"We're grateful for you, too, Easy," Arlo says with a silly smile, a streak of mischief infusing his dark eyes before he attempts to diffuse the tension—always the class clown, this kid. "You make us the best food and cool balloons and you tell better bedtime stories than Momma—" he snaps his mouth shut as his brothers nudge him with their elbows, all three boys looking at Bella for her reaction.
She purses her lips but offers them a wink, shaking her head. "He does tell better bedtime stories, I'll give him that." Glancing at her watch, she reminds the boys that they're on a schedule and still need to take first-day-of-school pictures. To me, she adds, "I got little letter boards for them to hold, but your idea is way better."
We meet in the middle and I take photos of the boys under their arches, the letter boards Bella bought in their little hands, their new backpacks at their feet. When they've all been photographed, Bella hops in for a picture with each of them, then a group photo.
As Bella runs back inside to make sure Max is set while she takes the boys to school, I wait on the grass with the boys, peering down when Arlo shoves his hand in the pocket of my cargo shorts and pulls out my cell. "Let's get a picture of us."
So that's how I find myself kneeling on Bella's front lawn one sunny August morning, my cell clutched tight in Arlo's hands and switched onto selfie mode for the first time ever. He, Jaxson, and Finley stand in front of me and cheer 'Easy!' as he presses the button a bunch of times, my grin stretched wide and my watery eyes crinkled in the corners.
~ oOo ~
"And Miss Mickey let us paint on our hands! We made suns out of our handprints and then we got to go to recess and then we sang songs and—"
Laughing, I rub my beard and tell Arlo to slow down. "Take a breath, bud."
He flashes me a silly smile, sucking in a dramatic breath. "There, I breathed."
Bella's laugh rings in the background, so she's obviously done bathing Max. She handed me the phone when I called as she was wrestling him into the tub. "Is Max all clean now?"
Arlo giggles and looks over his shoulder, asking if he's clean. Bella tells him yes and leans over the back of the sofa so her beautiful face joins Arlo's on my screen. "I am never letting him off the leash again. He had sh—uh, poop—matted in his paw fur."
Scrunching up my face, I thank my lucky stars that I was too busy at Burger Co. to join them on their evening walk. If I had gone, I might have been inveigled into bath duty, and washing shit out of Max's fur is not something I'd volunteer for. Then again, if Bella asked me, I'd probably do it anyway. I'm a sucker for her steel eyes and the way she smiles.
"Oh! I forgot to show you…" He aims the camera south of his face, showing me his tee. Today's is black with a cartoon burger and the words 'I'm a burger dude' written around it. But of course, I knew that.
"I saw it this morning, remember?" I chuckle.
Laughing at himself, Arlo says "Oh, yeah," and gets comfy with the phone resting on his knees again. He sticks around to chat with me for a few more minutes before his yawns come more frequently than his words.
Grinning, I tell him, "Give me to your momma and get to bed so you're ready for another day of school tomorrow, buddy." By all accounts, he loved his first day. Jaxson and Finley did, too. So much so that they were already asleep when I called a little after six from my office at Burger Co. We're at capacity but I've got a full set of staff and everyone is eating right now, so I figured it would be a good time to give the boys a call and see how they did.
"All right. Night, Easy."
"Night, bud. Sweet dreams."
As Arlo hands the phone to Bella, he quickly snatches it back and offers me a sleepy, bashful smile. "I forgot...love you."
Warmth spreads through my chest, a likely goofy expression taking over my face, and I realize that I'm being one hundred percent honest when I murmur, "Love you too, bud."
Bella's eyes are visibly wet after she takes the phone from Arlo, promising to be along to tuck him in once she's said 'bye' to me. "I've cried way too many times today. No fair, Edward."
There's no hiding the fat tear rolling over my cheek, so I don't even bother. Chuckling, I wish I could be sitting on the couch beside her to catch the tears escaping her eyes. "That kid…"
"Don't blame him, Cullen. You're a big softie and you know it."
"Yeah," I sigh, shaking my head. "It's your fault. You and those boys are melting me. You're gonna ruin my reputation as a big tough guy."
Bella's snort turns my grin rueful. "You keep telling yourself that, handsome." Looking up suddenly, she stands and tells me she'll see me tomorrow at work. I'm guessing that Max or one of the boys needs her, so I keep my goodbye short and sweet and spend the rest of the night trying to figure out why I feel like there was something else I should have said other than 'goodnight.'
~ oOo ~
"Thanks, boss. See ya later. Bye, Bella!" Jones calls, waving the hand not carrying his envelope full of tips as he heads out.
"Bye, Jones," she calls, setting the last glass in its spot under the counter before flashing me a tired, but happy, smile.
If it weren't for the fact that Garrett chooses that moment to join us, I definitely would have kissed that smile off her face. This morning, before coming into work, Bella visited the hair salon down the street. The long pink-purple mane of hair I had wrapped around my fingers as I kissed her breathless last night is now a shoulder-length chestnut bob. It frames her face and the deep brown shade makes the silver of her eyes seem even more striking than usual. It's been driving me crazy all day. All I want to do is get my hands in there and see if it's as soft as it was before she had a hairdresser chop off a good ten inches or more.
"I'm fuckin' shattered."
Garrett's declaration makes both Bella and I laugh, but his grimace as he sits his ass on a stool and scrubs his face with his hands has me frowning.
"Is Ivy still not sleeping?" I guess, knowing I've hit the nail on the head when a long, loud yawn interrupts Garrett before he can say a word.
"Not for more than twenty or thirty minutes at a time."
"Ouch," Bella hisses, scrunching her face up in sympathy. "I remember that stage with Lo. Jax and Finn were both pretty good sleepers, thank God, but Arlo...shit, that boy didn't sleep through the night 'til he was almost three."
Snorting, I turn to grab my cell and wallet from the bar. "That's nothing. The first time Willow slept through the night was the day after her fifth birthday." Silence follows my statement. Looking up, I frown at the slack jaw of my best friend and the barely-there smile on Bella's face. "What?"
"Nothin', nothing'," Garrett mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck.
It's only twenty minutes later, when I pull up outside my house and switch off the engine, that I realize why Garrett seemed so shocked.
I barely ever intentionally bring up Willow in conversation. Occasionally, Kendra makes me talk about her, but that's about it. It isn't because I don't want to, it's just that I've always found it too hard. Throwing myself into their conversation earlier, talking about Willow's hatred of sleep, felt natural. As easy as breathing, like a normal parent might commiserate with another parent. For five seconds, I didn't feel like I couldn't or shouldn't talk about my daughter just because she's not here anymore. I felt like a guy whose daughter refused to fall asleep anywhere but on me or her mom. I felt like a dad.
"Are you okay?"
Bella's hand landing on my thigh startles me from my thoughts. Blinking a few times, I turn my head and manage to smile at her. It doesn't take much effort, to be fair. She's stunning even after a long as hell day and an early morning with Finley, who fell out of bed and crawled in with her shortly after four.
"You're beautiful."
The rosy tint that infuses her cheeks only makes her more irresistible. Thankfully, she's only too willing to let me manhandle her into my house and up the stairs. For the first time in years, I don't pause in the foyer to listen to the silence that greets me. I'm too busy listening to Bella's giggles and half-hearted protests as I hoist her over my shoulder because I can't get her into bed quick enough. I've been patient all day. Now is the time for patience to go out the window and to get Bella out of her pants.
Hesitating at the top of the stairs, I glance right at my bedroom door before turning left to head toward the guest bedroom. There, I peel Bella's clothes off her delectable body and take great pleasure from the sounds she makes when I drop to my knees before her, my lips blazing a trail over her skin. The last item of her clothing to go is her panties. I can't help but grin as I glance up at her, slowly tugging them down. "Ninja Turtles?"
Bella's cheeks flush crimson. "It's laundry day. I meant to run home between dropping the boys at school and coming to work, but I ran out of time."
Snorting a chuckle, I press a lingering kiss to the soft crease of her thigh, my dick taking note of the breathy sigh it elicits.
Interesting.
She's already admitted that oral was something her ex expected, but didn't like to give. She's derailed me from attempting it so far, but she doesn't seem to be tugging me away now…
Taking a chance that she's worked up enough to let me help her feel good, I gently grasp her hips and give her a light squeeze just as I duck my head slightly, my tongue finding the tight bundle of nerves between her legs. I can detect the faint scent of her body wash but her taste is all Bella.
"Oh…" she cries out, flinching when my tongue sneaks out to flick her clit. I'm not going to lie, I love getting a blowjob as much as the next guy, but there's something about going down on a sexy woman that turns me on like something else.
Bella's fingers twist themselves into my hair, her grip almost painful, but it just spurs me on. As she writhes and moans my name, I can feel my beard getting wet with her arousal, my dick straining against my briefs.
When her legs start to shake and she whispers that she's close, I pull away with regret and slip my arms under her legs, lifting her with my palms gripping her thighs. I grin at her yelp of surprise before cutting it off with a bruising kiss. I half expect her to push me away, my lips coated with the taste of her, but she groans and clings onto my shoulders, tugging me down over her once I've set her down on the bed and shoved my briefs to the floor.
"I need you," Bella breathes, her brows furrowed and the telltale flush of a fast-approaching orgasm painting her chest. I've gotten to know her tells, and that's a sure sign she's close. Pausing only long enough to coat myself in her wetness, I slide myself home and bury my face in the crook of her neck as she chokes on a breath and pants that she's coming after only a few thrusts.
With the urgency deflated a little, we spend the next hour making full use of our alone time and the king-size bed before we shower together and fall asleep shortly after midnight, Bella draped over my chest with a sated smile on her lips as she stretches up to kiss my jaw.
I sleep soundly, just like I always do when Bella is with me, until a piercing scream wakes me a few hours later.
See you Wednesday ;)
If you want to see pictures of the Jackson Bay crew and snoop on my inspiration for the bay itself, I have a board called 'Under The Willows' and my account is under the same name as I am here.
As always, huge thanks to my wonderful team of ladies who call me on my bull and point out when I'm being too liberal with my 'it's fiction' excuse. annaharding, LizziePaige, ThatSoAlex, Anakinsmom, and LadyLoonie, I love you all dearly. And I love each and every one of you who reads, reviews, and recommends this little tale of mine. Come friend me on Facebook - Ciara Shayee Hill - to chit chat with me and see the visuals I create to go with each chapter.