Disclaimer's in the prologue.
The holidays had just started. The Great Hall was filled with Yule tide designs and students chattering about, either they're going back home for a few weeks or staying in school for Christmas. Harry picked the latter.
"Aren't you going to go home?" Theo asked Harry who personally wanted nothing more than for the holidays to pass by as swiftly as possible.
"Obviously, not." Harry drawled and Theo's eyes rolled.
Harry was the only, the one and only, Slytherin first year who is going to stay in Hogwarts for the holidays. Him being the only first year snake who is going to stay there became the cause of the other Slytherin jokes, taunting him that no family wanted him so that's why he created his own surname and now staying in school when he should be at home. Personally though Harry wouldn't care if nobody wanted him, friends or family, he'll just have to live with it but he was happy though that his godfather, Sirius Black, invited him to stay in his Manor in Godric's Hollow for the holidays, but he politely declined the offer reasoning that he wants to be in Hogwarts. Lars, in turn, didn't also go back home and wanted to experience celebrating Christmas in Hogwarts.
"Ok, have a nice holiday then." Theo said, holding out a hand.
"Have a nice holiday as well Theo." Harry replied while shaking Theo's hand and then left after telling him not to forget the presents.
Harry approached his twin and Weasley who were playing wizard's chess. Lars whined about himself losing another sickle tenth time in a row. Harry sat beside his twin while Weasley was just looking at him.
"What grades did you get?" Lars asked him after their game. Their grades were released before the start of the Christmas break.
"Straight O's." he replied. "Yours?"
"1 A, 1 E, the rest are O's." Lars said, then after a second "Hang on, straight O's, how come? You're always sleeping in Binn's class like the rest of us!"
"There's this thing called reading." he said in a matter-of-fact tone. "The ghost doesn't care if you listen or not as long as you know the answers to his questions and pass your exams and quizzes and submit your assignments," Lars opened his mouth to say something when he hastily added "on time." Though frankly he doesn't know why the ghost still assigns homework when he can't even grade it.
"Do you mind if I play with Weasley?" Lars shook his head. "Just one game." he said to Weasley.
"Sure." Weasley replied confidently. It was well known within their year that Weasley is brilliant in chess. Even the Ravenclaws said so. "Bets or no bets?"
"I bet ten sickles." Harry said. Ten sickles is the amount he knew Weasley won from Lars. Weasley agreed and the game started.
"Checkmate." Harry announced after almost twenty minutes of playing. Harry can clearly see the disappointment on Weasley's face upon losing. The re-head handed him the ten sickles but he gave it back. He doesn't really do betting that much but he thought that it will make the game more interesting and challenging for both sides.
"That was brilliant!" Lars said. "That's the first I saw Ron lose to another one his age."
"You're a brilliant chess player Weasley," Harry said monotonously, ignoring his brother's praise. Clearly, the two lions weren't expecting his praise for they made a perfect imitation of a guppie fish at feeding time.
"Though, you do have to realize that sometimes you need to sacrifice your players, I noticed that you don't like sacrificing too much even when you could win by doing that." he continued. "It's chess, Weasley, when you're the king, you do what it takes to win at no matter what cost, but then again you're a Gryffindor who relies too much in chivalry instead of saving your own." And then the resentment for Gryffindor comment is back.
"You can't just abandon your players." Weasley said with conviction. "In the board they're your friends, it's like taking them for granted if you keep on sacrificing them."
Harry nodded his head in understanding. "I respect your opinion in being that considerate and loyal but I, however, prefer Utilitarianism." The two blinked stupidly at him. "Practicality, lions. The ends justify the means."
"You mean...you'll be willing to sacrifice anything for that end of yours?" Lars asked warily with an accusing tone as if he's associating Harry with a power-hungry Slytherin like Voldemort who have no regards as to how they do it, moral or immoral, as long as they get what they want.
"Depends, if the end that I see is good." he replied. "If it would turn out right even if the means is slightly less than pleasant, then yes maybe I would."
"Good for you or the others?" Lars dug further and at that, Harry to give out his callous opinion.
"If those others that you are talking about are people who makes my life hell, I'll do what's good for me and for me alone, but if those others are people that are generally good to me or at least decent and civil, then," he trailed off and smirked haughtily, "then maybe I'll consider being a tad more self-less. Although, I wouldn't really count on it."
Harry has no problem in making them see that he was more concerned with himself than others. He would always believe that you must care for yourself before others, do yourself a favour before doing it to others.
"Now," he said, "before you question me more about my moral compass, what is the password in Gryffindor tower?"
Lars and Weasley exchanged looks. "We can't say it to other houses."
"I'm sure Professor McGonagall would just love to hear that her lions, doesn't want to give the password to their holiday roommate."
"Roommate?" Lars and Weasley said at the same time. "Why are you going to be our roommate?"
"Because my and your head of house said so." he said snappishly.
"But, you're a Slytherin!" Weasley exclaimed.
"Don't flatter yourself." he sneered. "It's not a treat for me either."
To be honest, he really wouldn't mind being alone in the first year dorms, it's not like he'll go room hopping there, but no, the Headmaster, Potions Master and Deputy Headmistress just had to insist that he stay in the Gryffindor tower, stating that he needed to be around students his age thus the decision to have him stay with his brother for the Holidays, though Harry thinks that it may be because of the fear of an inevitable chaos in the room and that he might not get along well with the older ones as the older years who are civil to him also went home.
"Yule tide." Lars said. "The password is yuletide...you know what? Why don't we just all lounge there." The two Gryffindors stood up after fixing the chessboard then the three of them went to the Gryffindor tower.
"IF THAT PORTRAIT EVEN DARES TO DO THAT AGAIN, I'LL BURN IT DOWN TO ASHES!" Harry growled while his twin and Weasley laughed at him. The Fat Lady's portrait slammed shut into his face as soon as Lars and Weasley entered the common room, quoting 'No Slytherins allowed.' She let him in eventually after another portrait, of a man with a long brown beard, told her to let Harry enter the room.
"Question, how would you burn it down to ashes?" Lars asked.
"With fire." Harry replied simply, already thinking of what he'll use. "There are a lot of dark curses that can make things burn."
"Dark arts!" Weasley exclaimed. "You know dark curses! Are you insane?"
"A little insane, yes." Harry said with Lars chuckling. "Try reading between the lines Weasel boy." Weasley glared at him with that."How would you burn something down to ashes? Of course with fire, I said there are a lot of dark curses that can make things burn, I never said that I will use one."
"Spoken like a real Slytherin." Lars muttered.
"So where's your room?" Lars and Weasley led him up stairs on the left side. Unlike the Slytherin dorms, the Gryffindors all stay in one dorm. There were five beds inside their room and it was just a bit larger than the rooms in the Slytherin dorms with only two beds and bathroom inside it.
"That's Seamus' bed, Neville's, and Dean's." Harry picked Neville's bed, it was nearer the door.
"Hey we're going out for a snowball fight, wanna come?" Lars asked. Apparently the two of them can no longer stand the silence that is circling in their room.
"No, you go ahead." Harry said distastefully. "I'll stay here."
"Ye sure? Come on it'll be fun." Lars cajoled.
"Yes, I'm sure." And the two left. He honestly did not get what would be fun in getting yourself wet and cold.
"Porthos!" Harry called and a house-elf appeared before him. Porthos, his ever ready house-elf.
The house-elf bowed in front of him. "Yes Master Evandrus Sir?"
"You'll buy everything in this list then place it under their Christmas tree." he instructed the elf as he handed him the list. The elf took a look on the list.
"What are the crosses for, Sir?" The elf asked, pointing at the names with crosses before them. And he has proper grammar to boot, unlike the majority of the house-elves he know of.
"You send it to them by owl." he says to Porthos, "The ones with the crosses I mean."
"Understood Sir." answered the house-elf. "Is that all, Sir?"
"Have them wrapped alright?" The elf nodded and Harry handed him a pouch with galleons in it.
"Yes Sir. Have good Yule, Sir." The elf bowed and then disappeared with a POP!
"You know, I always thought or, well, hoped that you would come back for Christmas or even our birthday. All those years that you were gone." Harry jumped when he heard Lars' voice. It was already Christmas Eve and he was sitting by the window, gazing at the snow that is falling slowly outside. He wasn't expecting anyone, not even his brother, to just suddenly talk.
"I'd appreciate it if you don't do that." Harry said, annoyed. Lars went to him and sat on the bed near the window that he was sitting by. Lars took a note from his pocket and handed it over to him.
Harry looked at the note curiously. "Why on earth do you still have this?" he asked as he gave back the note to Lars. It was the note that he left six years ago. He thought for sure that Lars would discard it afterwards.
Lars shrugged. "I don't know, I just...I said I'll only throw, it out by the time you go back."
"Very sentimental," he said with a slight sneer. "Don't get too attached to things, learn to let go."
"Now I can." Lars took his wand from his bedside table and whispered "Incendio" and the note burst into flame. "Happy Christmas brother and welcome back."
"Happy Christmas." The brothers shook hands.
"I can't wait to see my presents tomorrow...or well later." Lars said excitedly.
"In the Philippines, they have feast as well during midnight of the 24th, they call it Noche Buena and also the gift giving within the family, they all do it on Christmas Eve." Harry said while he's gazing outside the window, remembering the one time he celebrated his Christmas there. They were all cheerful it's annoying, especially the carols.
"That's cool they don't have to wait until morning for their presents." Lars mused. "Have you been there before and actually experience it or you just read that from somewhere?"
"Philip told me that their whole family used to get together during Christmas Eve, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and all and sometimes their grandparent's brothers or sisters."
"Woah! Talk about a big family reunion."
"Yes, a big family reunion indeed." he replied, remembering how Philip, being a bit of a Christmas hater, thought the celebration ridiculous.
"Goodnight." he said as he lay on to the bed that he is occupying for the rest of the Christmas holidays.
"Hey! It's Christmas day! Why didn't you wake me up?!" Harry just rolled his eyes at his brother and Weasley who literally jumped out of bed and ran straight to pile of presents under the Christmas tree in the Gryffindor common room.
"Harry you have presents here too! Move your arse down here!" he pulled his ear again at the loud sound Lars was making while he goes down the common room. Has he ever mentioned that he's not really that fond of Christmas?
"This is from Uncle Sirius, Uncle Remus, and me." Lars piled each presents on his arms like a five year old kid very excited for Christmas. The two presents were heavy and most likely books.
"And I don't know who those are from." Lars pointed at six more presents under the tree, he gathered all of his presents, nine in total, including one with both their names on it which Lars did not notice, and placed it on the couch.
"Here..." Weasley, who was wearing a maroon, hand-knitted jumper, handed a parcel to him "Uhm...it's from...uh...Mum, I guess she sorta heard about you."
"Thank you, and Happy Christmas," he said, taking the gift and placing it also on the couch before making a mental note to give the Weasley family something in return.
"Erm...Happy Christmas too." Weasley said awkwardly.
"Aren't you going to open your presents?" Lars questioned.
"Later." he replied, yawning. He'd rather sleep the whole day away, or read some good book.
Harry was just sitting there, without opening his presents, while watching Lars and Weasley open the presents that they received.
Lars eyes widened when he opened one of his presents. He held it out and it was a Golden Snitch. Shiny and truly made of gold which, according to Lars, is a special edition and only about a hundred of it was manufactured.
"Wuz' it frm?" Weasley asked, with his mouth full of chocolate frogs, he certainly lacks manners. Lars looked at the wrapper again and said "There's no name in it."
"Is that the only Snitch there?" They turned to him who asked the question.
"Yeah, it's the only one. I've opened all of my presents."
"It's from me." he stated as he started looking at the Christmas cards attached to the presents while the two stood there like fishes out of water.
"How'd you get one of these?"
"I asked someone to buy it for me." he stated. "Don't ask any details because I don't know." Lars just nodded then thanked him and started to bother him into opening the presents addressed to him.
"Go on open yours!" Lars said and he conceded if it would stop his brother from bothering him.
Harry silently opened his presents; a book on Charms, and half a dozen of chocolate frogs from Sirius and Remus respectively. A silver pocket watch with designs the same as what was etched on his cloak in Diagon Alley, a matchbox sized car, books from two people about two different topics; Wizarding History and Spanish Language. One worn out notebook that has a lot of scribbles in it from someone with the initials 'A. NF', an emerald green jumper with the letter 'H' sewn in front and lastly, from Lars, a photograph, a family photograph.
It was a Christmas photograph of him, Lars and their parents. That was their first and only Christmas picture as a family. They were barely five months old at the time it was taken. In the picture, their mother was carrying him while his father was carrying Lars, there were snowmen behind them and snow falling on them, even if it was just a childish assumption on his part, he thinks that his father have always favoured Lars.
"I don't know what to get you," Lars admitted to him sheepishly, "so well, why not this...I mean...I just hope you won't burn it because Dad is there..." His brother rambled on.
"I like it, I really do. Thank you." Harry said sincerely. He liked the picture because that was the time when there were no problems yet, or at least in the picture it looks like they don't have any, for him it's the only reminder that they were once a complete family, Mother, Father and siblings.
"You still have one present left." Weasley pointed at the last parcel beside him.
"It's not only for me, it's for both me and Lars." he said, handing over the parcel to Lars.
Lars opened it and his eyes widened. "This...is...This is Dad's invisibility cloak!" His younger twin exclaimed, holding in his arms a silvery grey cloak. Lars put it on above his body and now it seems like his head is floating.
Harry eyed it with fascination. He had always been fascinated by that cloak. In a children's story that he used to read, The Tale of Three Brothers, one of those three, the youngest, owned an invisibility cloak which was, according to the story, given to him by Death itself, while the other two brothers had the Death Stick and the Resurrection Stone.
"Man! We could go exploring around the castle without getting caught!" Lars exclaimed with excitement. Harry can practically visualize hundreds of ideas that are running amuck in his brother's mind.
Lars stopped to wonder out loud "I wonder who had it before."
Harry took the note attached to the parcel and the only thing that was written on it was 'Happy Christmas and use it well' and signed with the initials 'A. P. W. B. D'.
"Who on earth is A. P. W. B. D.?" Lars asked no one in particular.
Harry stared at the note for a minute before saying. "It's from the Headmaster." At their confused look he elaborated. "The Headmaster's whole name is Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore."
"Huh...why give it to us?" Lars mused after making a perfect imitation of a fish out of water. "Who knows what mischief that we... or well me and Ron...could get into."
"First off it's not his so it's right that he gives it to you..."
"Jeez, I wasn't looking for an answer you know." Lars interjected.
"So how're going to share the use of this?"
Harry shrugged. "You can keep it." he told his younger twin. "But you'll have to lend it to me when I ask for it."
"Brilliant! I'm good with that."
Christmas dinner was fulfilling. The food that was prepared by the house-elves was very delicious, as what's expected of a house-elf because as far as they know, house-elves are very good cooks, or at least most of them are. There were firecrackers on the tables and the students had fun opening as much as they can. Harry was reluctant to open his as he doesn't like to hear a loud bang that is caused by the crackers and the cloud of blue smoke.
"Go on Evandrus..."
"It's Christmas day..."
"And the crackers..."
"Are not..."
"Going to kill you" The Weasley twins finished together. Lars looked him expectantly. He returned the look with a passive one but in the end, he relented and agreed to pull one cracker.
Harry pulled the cracker and, as expected, it went off with a blasting sound, which made him take step backwards in surprise, and engulfed them a cloud of blue smoke. It exploded a lot of alive, white mice.
"See. Wasn't that fun?" Lars said jovially.
"Delightfully amusing." he drawled sarcastically.
"Do you know what the time is!?" Harry hissed in annoyance when Lars came waking him up from his slumber telling him to come with.
"Come on get up!" Lars insisted, shaking him. "You have to see this!"
Harry mumbled "Fine" and then stood up and put on a robe. Lars covered them both with the invisibility cloak before going out through the portrait of the Fat Lady. They were walking and he had no idea where they are headed only that if they're caught, they're both dead.
They entered an empty classroom where a magnificent looking mirror stood. Etched above were the line, 'Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi', that doesn't even make any sense.
"Well now what?" He asked impatiently.
Lars pointed at the mirror. "I can see mom and dad, and you too, and Remus and Sirius, we're all...happy...complete."
Harry stared at the mirror and his eyes widened at what he saw. All of the people that he cares for and in turn cares for him were in the reflection, but what puzzled him is why his father was there, he knew for a fact that his father does not care about him.
"You see them?" Lars asked.
"Yes...I see them...they're all smiling at me...even Father." He said the last part in almost a whisper. He did not mention the other set of people he saw at the mirror. They both just sat there in the silence, staring at the promises of the mirror until Lars spoke.
"Have you ever wondered what would have happened...if..." Lars trailed off. "If Mum didn't die that Halloween night, maybe...maybe we could have been a real family...Dad wouldn't have acted like that and you wouldn't have ran away and we'll be whole." There was sadness in Lars' voice, a longing for their parents.
Harry sighed and answered. "Maybe, maybe not." As far as he is concerned, there are no ifs, and it does not do good to dwell on ifs of what might have happened in the past had things went differently.
"What's done is done," he spoke up in a neutral tone, "you can't change the past but you can do something about your future. There are no ifs in this world and you shouldn't keep thinking about what might have been but you must think about what might be and what could be." Lars just sighed without looking away from the mirror.
Then he thought of what Lars had said 'Family', something that he longed for and wanted. He looked up at the inscription etched on the mirror again and tried reading it backwards, seeing as it is a mirror, 'I show not your face but your hearts desires '. He can't believe that after all these years he still wanted his Father's approval. He still dreamt of them being a whole family. Consciously, he doesn't long for his father, but subconsciously, he apparently still does.
"Let's go," Harry said to his brother, who, by the looks of it, was reluctant to follow him back to the Gryffindor tower.
"Don't go back again there Lawrence." Harry said the following evening when he saw his brother getting up in the middle of the night getting the cloak from his trunk. Harry purposely stayed awake, unnoticeably, just to see if his brother would go back.
"Why not?" Lars questioned defiantly. "I just want to see Mum and Dad... all of us."
"Listen to me." He ordered his brother firmly, "That mirror will bring you nothing but sadness and false hopes. It is not real, and it will never be even if you keep staring at it. It's just an unfulfilled dream, an illusion. It will never, ever come true." What he hates the most are the illusions of a happy and perfect life, there is no such thing as perfection.
"I know it's not." hissed Lars. "I'm not daft and don't think I am one just because you're the smartest arse in school!" With that, Lars turned and ran down to the common room to see the mirror again. Harry was just stunned there on the spot that he was standing on before sighing. He stayed by the window again and waited for his twin brother to return.
"I'm sorry for calling you an arse before I left and not listening." That was the first thing Lars said to him after half an hour of absence in the room."
"That's fine it's not like I'm your parent or guardian, you don't have to listen and follow everything I say."
"I know..." Lars said with a sigh. "I just felt like I should apologize. You were right about the mirror."
"Really?" drawled Harry sarcastically. "Did the mirror inform you of that bit?"
"No..." Lars didn't even snap at the sarcastic reply of his, "but Professor Dumbledore did...well in a way."
"'in a way' meaning?"
"He said that 'it does no good to dwell on dreams and forget to live'" Yeah well does that sound symmetrical to what he said. "He also said that the mirror shows us what...our hearts wants the most."
"That I know, apart from it showed us our family, the inscription above, since it's a mirror it should be read backwards." he informed his brother. "It says 'I show not your face but your hearts desire'"
Lars' mouth opened and closed three consecutive time before finally setting on a smile while saying "I take back my apology on you being an arse, you are a smart arse."
"Logic, my dear twin, logic."