Thank you so much to AO3 user KenzieP - she gave some excellent advice on cat's fur colours, so our babies will be looking a lot more natural. She is also my first review on this, so thank you so damn much!
"I can't believe I let you do this." Blaire sighed out, shaking her head.
The girls stood on their doorstep. Each was holding a large-ish cardboard box, with 5 cats in each.
"Don't worry too much about it, babe, they'll grow on y' eventually," Amber struggled with the keys as she spoke. Her only source of light was the dim street post a few metres away.
"What, like a fungus?" Bee said, dryly. It wasn't that Blaire didn't like cats. Actually, it was the contrary. She loved them. She wasn't really expecting to get so many at once, though. And it was hard to deny Amber when she looked so excited. You would have to have to will and self-control of a monk to deny those bright blue eyes.
"Exactly like a fungus."
Shaking her head, she chuckled slightly while they walked into the home.
"Chrissy, babes, we're home!" A soft thumping is heard as a short girl comes down. Grunting, Blaire puts down her box on the ground, a few fluffy heads poking out from the top.
"How, uh, how come- how come you're so late?" Christen looked at them all, eyebrows drawn together with worry. Amber grinned, holding up her box.
"Kittens. We found kittens. Had to stop at Pet-mart on the way back – also, Blaire has a really talkative family. Like, imagine a clucking chicken, except the chicken is yapping on about her 'prodigal' daughter," Amber scoffed, looking annoyed for a few seconds.
Blaire huffed. "They barely speak to me nowadays, you can't blame them."
Christen didn't comprehend anything after the mention of kittens. Eyes had long ago went wide, a grin splitting her face into two.
"KITTENS?!" She squealed, sliding to the ground, and picked up a reddish-orange tabby. "She –" Christen stopped herself, and quickly checked between its legs "- sorry, uh, he's so cute!" A white cat in the same box seemed to laugh at the tabby's situation.
Christen's eyes went wider, as she turned to the other two. They were watching her with slight amusement. "Are we keeping them?"
"Uh, well –"
"Yes!" Amber cut the ginger off, tipping out the other 5 kittens from her box onto the floor. "So, we better get to naming them~!"
"So, we're gonna be their pets, hm?" Deidara huffed, picking himself up after his undignified tip onto the wooden floor.
"It seems so. ~How dehumanising~," Zetsu around him, taking in his surroundings.
It was an open-plan living space, not huge, but comfortable. The walls were an unsaturated orange colour, making the whole place feel very warm.
Pain, still being snuggled by the dark-haired girl, did not look comfortable. She was cradling him in her arms - the affection was foreign.
"Try your best to act like normal felines. We do not want them knowing who we really are – not yet," he coughed out, trying to remain professional. It was hard to be a leader while trying to hold back the urge to purr.
Hidan would have laughed, except Pain was purposefully making direct eye contact with him. And not the 'hey, cutie' kind of direct eye contact. The 'if you say anything I will make your life a misery' kind of direct eye contact.
Even though Hidan's cat form was a lot bigger that Pain's, he had enough brain cells to know that pissing him off now would be a bad idea.
Tobi bounced his way by Christen, rubbing his face against her leg. "Tobi loves his new form! He loves this floor, and his tail, and -"
Deidara growled. "Shut the hell up! You're gonna give me a damn headache, yeah."
The two girls sat down, cross-legged, beside Christen.
"This one shall be named Mr Floof." Christen said determinedly, staring 'Mr Floof' straight into his eyes.
"Mr Floof? Really?" Amber grins. "He's a skinny little shit – Mr Floof is more suitable for this chunky baby," She pats The Kisame and pulls him onto her lap.
"Well, might as well enjoy the vacation – right, 'Tachi?" Kisame brushes his bluish-silver fur out of his eyes, looking pleased with himself. Being described as 'floofy' in this form wasn't the worst thing ever, he supposed. Hell, he should probably take it as a complement.
"Hn."
Pain however, was struggling to hold onto any dignity he had left.
Blaire nods in agreement, before holding up Hidan. The negative reaction was immediate – he tried to swipe at her face. He had discovered how to use his claws, and it had been hell for everyone since.
Luckily, Bee had learnt her lesson from the car ride back and kept him a safe distance away.
"Put me down you little fucking bi-," Hidan snarled, legs kicking.
"Lucifer," she said stoically, staring into his pale pink-ish eyes. "Because you look like an angel, but act like a twat and a general nuisance."
Kakuzu stared at them, bemused, agreeing completely.
Amber looked at her, eyebrow raised. "Are you still salty about the car?"
"Yes," Blaire said simply.
Hidan hissed. "Your car's a shitty piece of shit!"
"… what a creative insult," Sasori stared at him with a deadpan look on his cat-face.
"Go fuck yourself, puppet boy."
"Of course, Bee… any-hoo, my turn!" Impatient, Amber grinned and pointed at Kisame, who was still relaxing on her lap. "This is Floofy Senior, because why the hell not. Also, it seems he would make an excellent pillow."
"Do not use the cat as a pillow, Ames. You will suffocate him." Blaire deadpanned,
"Bee's, uhm, Bee's right Amber. It won't end well," Cristen said quietly, tugging at her jumper's sleeve. "If you need a soft – a softer pillow, I can, I can make one."
Amber laughed again. "Don't worry, my friends – I still have SOME common sense."
"She took in 10 wild cats, without knowing if they had an infectious disease or not. It is doubtful there is any common sense in her mind," Sasori eyed her.
"Don't be so mean, danna, hm!" Deidara scowled at the (ex?) puppet, nudging him with his light blonde paw.
Cristen had seemed to have picked her next kitten, as she picked up a squealing Tobi.
"Tobi's next 3!"
'How the hell did he say that out loud, hm?!'
Cristen squinted her warm brown eyes as she studied the kitten. First off, it was a he. It was mostly black, with his front left paw and part of his body being a strange white. Most importantly, he was missing an eye.
"Nick Furry."
"Nick Furry?" Amber questioned. Blaire, too, looked at her questioningly
"He's missing his right eye," a pause as a dark look fell over Christen's face. "If I ever find who did this to him, I will skin them alive and use their skin to make myself a leather jacket."
Silence befell the room.
If they could have done that classic anime sweat drop, they would have. Unfortunately, this was not an anime, or a cartoon. This was real life, so they just had to stare awkwardly.
Even Tobi had looked a little put-off. He had forgotten that his face was now visible, and that his eye (or lack thereof) was on display.
"Yeah, uh, Tobi, hm, why don't you have an eye? Poked it out with a stick, yeah?" Deidara rolled his eyes, thinking of all the dumb ways Tobi could have lost it.
"Sorry Senpai, but Tobi forgot!" Tobi giggled.
"You're an idiot, hm."
"Well then, Nick Furry suits him perfectly then!" Amber brushed the comment off (they were both used to it, after all). She then wastes no time, and picks up Deidara. He was pretty miffed, but accepted his fate.
She stared at him for a good minute.
"Prompto."
Blaire smiled, reaching over to pet his head. "Prompto is perfect."
"Look at him, Bee! He's gorgeous! Such pretty blue eyes..." Amber cooed
Deidara looked away, abashed. "O-of course i am… I have an excellent skin-care routine, yeah!"
Sasori snorts.
This brings him to the attention of a certain Bee, and she pokes his side.
"This one is Terry," She stated.
"Uh… Terry?" Cristen tilted her head curiously.
"He is red. Like my computer. My computer is named Terry. Thus, Terry," Blaire nodded her head, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Sasori shrugged. Terry didn't seem like such a bad name.
"Also, Terry Crews is amazing, and I feel like I must honour him in some way. It would be a crime to not name at least one cat Terry."
At this, both the others nodded in agreement.
"Who the hell is Terry Crews, hm?"
Silence befell the group. No one knew.
"I am unsure if we are still in the shinobi nations, Pain-Sama. The chakra signatures that I have sensed so far are… strange. Weak, untrained. Very foreign." Itachi said.
"First, we will try our best to return to our human forms. There is not much we can do at this time. Then, we will concentrate on returning."
"Yes, Leader-Sama," They all chorused back.
"Shawn Mendes. This one is Shawn Mendes." Christen petted the chocolate-y brown cat softly. He was definitely an odd one - with stitches all over, Amber thought the name was appropriate.
"Shawn Mendes…?" Blair's looked confused, eyeing her friend with confusion.
Christen giggled. "He has stitches, Bee. Shawn Mendes wrote a song called stitches."
"Honestly Blaire, it's like you live under a rock," Amber shook her head, disappointed in the ginger.
"If I lived under a rock, so would you. We live together, my dear," Bee pointed out, lips twitching.
"Either way, you can't expect me to know every pop song under the sun. That is your forte."
Amber rolled her eyes. "It's a figure of speech, babes," she says, picking up a strange half-black half-white cat.
"Oreo. Do I even need to explain it?" Amber laughed as the others shook their heads. "Yeah, I thought so."
As Oreo was set onto the floor, Blaire picked up a small, black cat. She placed him on her lap, carefully, and they stared at each other for a good few seconds.
"Sebastian," she murmured, scratching behind its ear.
"Nerd!" Amber called out, using her hands as a mock megaphone.
"I'm not the one with a Bucky Barnes body pillow, Amber."
Amber spluttered, turning red. "O-Oi, watch it, ginger."
Christen giggled, watching them with great endearment.
"Come on guys. Time for, time for the last, but not least!" Christen smiled warmly, picking up a small, dilute calico kitten. A small squeal left her throat, as she held the kitten up. Almost like that one scene in The Lion King.
"Princess," Christen sighed out. "She's so majestic, and, and graceful!" She proceeds to put her down. Princess steps out of her hold, with as much grace as a damned ballerina, proving Chrissy's point. She immediately walked her way to Mr Floofy, sitting by his side.
"Awh, Mr Floofy and Princess are friends!" Amber cooed, smiling coyly. "Did you get kitty-condoms, bee~?"
That, of course, made Lucifer… laugh? It was a strange, loud meowing noise, with the rhythm of a cackle. Honestly, it was vaguely disturbing.
Mr Floofy did not look happy.
"These cats are… really weird," Blaire murmured, ignoring Amber's comment.
She watched as 'Shawn' hit the cackling cat. She watched as they both began snarling at each other. She watched 'Mr Floofy' bristle with anger, as Princess meowed to him. She watched, with great curiosity, as it seemed like they understood Amber's words.
Yeah... I know a lot hasn't happened. But! Blaire has become suspicious~ ooooo ;)